Peter's List
Peter
Peter cautiously hovered above the God of Mischief, who appeared to be very deeply asleep. It had been about an hour of silence, and Loki still hadn’t woken up. His face was still smashed against the fairly dirty dining table, and his mouth was hanging open a bit, enough to make a small, but steadily growing puddle of drool beneath it. If he wasn’t worried about being mean, Peter might have taken a selfie with Loki, as proof to show Ned or MJ, or maybe even Mr Thor, who definitely deserved to know the most. But he still wasn’t convinced about tattling just yet.
And besides, he wasn’t sure if he should let Loki continue sleeping, or if he should try to rouse him. Peter bent a little closer, his fingertips drumming against the table while he thought.
Whatever Loki had been doing for the past three years seemed like it had taken up a lot of his magic. He looked like he needed the rest. But still, he felt bad just leaving him there, on that dirty table, all unaware and asleep like that. It didn’t seem like a position Loki would like to be in, no matter how much he needed it.
Peter exhaled loudly, still right over Loki’s face, and it was then that he caught the cafe owner watching him, aghast, as he literally stood on his seat to bend over the god’s slumped form.
“Kid, what in the-?” The gruff old man began, voice rising quite substantially.
Peter shushed him hurriedly, backing away from Loki and sliding back down into his seat. “No, no- shhh- I’m sorry! I’m sorry, he’s sleeping- I’m just checking on him!”
The cafe owner swung a rag over his shoulder, giving Thor’s little brother (though Peter thought he was still pretty big) a vaguely disgruntled glance. “Why’s he sleeping like that? Did he drink?”
“No, sir- he’s just really tired and I don’t think he’s been eating so good, either,” He made his voice as pacifying as possible, sincerely hoping the cafe owner wouldn’t recognise Loki as… Loki. “I can get him up though, and we’ll leave now. I’m sorry again- he’s just had a long few… days.”
Inside his head, Peter meant that it had been a long few years, but saying that out loud didn’t seem like it would shut down the man’s intrigue so much as it would fuel it. He waited until the owner had disappeared into the back of the shop again before he decided to wake Loki up. And when he did, Peter slowly, carefully extended a finger, then poked Loki very gently on the shoulder.
No reaction.
Peter poked again, this time harder and more persistently. This earned him a soft groan and a slight jerking away at the touch, but still, Loki remained asleep. Taking this as a sign, the next time he tried to awaken the god, Peter gripped his shoulder very hard and shook him even harder.
That did it. Loki lurched back from him immediately, arms flinging out to block a nonexistent attacker. His head slammed painfully loudly against the wooden seat, causing Loki to flee the booth altogether, tripping very violently out onto the floor as he clutched the back of his head, hissing and cursing in a language Peter didn’t even understand the roots of.
He winced, guiltily, making a mental note not to try the startling tactic in the future. If being startled was at all possible to avoid with Loki, who seemed like he had some very deep-seated paranoia. Along with a lot of other deep-seated problems, but he’d get to those later.
Loki swivelled to him, one hand still clutching his head, whilst the other pointed a long, accusatory finger at him. “How long have I slept?”
“Only an hour or so, Mr Loki-”
“An hour?” Loki’s face contorted. “You’ve let me slumber- here- for an entire hour?”
Peter swallowed. “Um…”
“What have you done to me?” From the end of Loki’s extended hand was suddenly another dagger, just inches from the tip Peter’s nose. “Drugged me? Poisoned me? You must be a trickery in disguise, Spiderling, concealed by this weak little form to lure me into a-”
Peter had his web-shooters ready again, but he stoutly shook his head at the god, who really was demonstrating a lot of that deep-seated paranoia he’d been thinking about earlier. “I didn’t do anything to you! How could I have possibly-? Honestly, Mr Loki, I think you just really need some rest. Mr Thor says you’re usually pretty smart, but right now… I think you need a nice, um, week in bed. You need to sleep. Properly sleep- okay?”
“Not in HIS bed, I can’t!” Loki waved his dagger, looking aggravated.
Peter felt his brows jump. “W-whose bed are we talking about?”
“ODIN, obviously!” The God of Mischief gave him the most dead-eyed look and rapped a knuckle against his head in a crude imitation of a pretty big idiot. “WHO ELSE?”
Peter clung to the name, a certain familiarity to it, but he couldn’t recall who Odin was- not off the top of his head. Was he one of the warriors? The gatekeeper? The father, Allfather, King, or… something? Peter couldn’t remember what the mythology said- there were a lot of gods.
Loki, seeming to notice his confusion, waved his knife hand dismissively. “It doesn’t matter- never you mind. I’ve got to go-”
Loki turned and started to leave the cafe, but he halted himself and ran back over to him, the dagger back at his throat. Peter was past being scared of it, really. Loki gave him a warning look- as if he could tell and wanted to prove himself intimidating.
“Thank you for your kindness,” The god began, somewhat ironically, considering the stabby weapon. “And if you tell anyone- and I mean anyone- that you saw me, you will die. But for now, I am leaving.”
Peter grimaced, sarcastically, leaning back from the blade. “Sure thing, Mr Loki. You do that.”
Loki’s brows contracted again like he didn’t understand, but then, in a pretty sparkly green flash, the god was gone, leaving Peter all alone in the cafe, with the sun’s setting nearly at its end. Dusk was falling, and he needed to get home. Aunt May might be worried. And Mr Stark was supposed to call him that evening.
Apparently, it was an important call that he really didn’t want to miss.
Standing from his seat and also leaving the cafe, Peter pulled his phone from his pocket and checked it while he pushed open the door, the cool night’s air hitting him as he stepped outside. There were two missed calls. One from Aunt May and, sure enough, three missed calls from Mr Stark. He hated to admit it, but it took less than two seconds to decide which one of them to call back first.
Peter held up the phone to his ear, walking quickly down the sidewalk to get back to his house, where he knew Aunt May was probably waiting, worried sick. He heard two rings before the other end of the line picked up, and an angry voice came through.
“Kid, where’ve you been?!” Tony Stark exclaimed, voice crackling loudly in Peter’s ear. “I called you like three times, while you were sitting in that cafe- why didn’t you pick up?”
He gulped. He’d forgotten Mr Stark could- and would- track his every move. “Uh… I was just having a late lunch. It was nice. Normal. Cool.”
“But why didn’t you pick up the phone? You knew I was calling today, right?”
Peter smiled tightly and apologised as he moved tightly past a large group of people, walking in the opposite direction to him. “Yeah, I know, Mr Stark- I’m sorry- I just…”
“You just what, Pete?”
He made his voice very tired, using the best excuse known to teenagers for his reply. “Well, you see, I had a lot of tests at school today, and I was so tired after them that I was kind of… napping? Yeah, napping. In the cafe.”
The line was purely static for a moment. And then:
“Today is… Saturday.”
“Right, silly me-” Peter laughed very loudly and nervously, and he clenched and unclenched his hands in an effort to remain casual. “I meant, I had some make-up tests to get done. I’m still a little bit behind since I skipped school to go help you fight against Captain America and all of them.”
Tony’s voice cleared up, sounding reassured. “Ah, that would explain it. Say, listen- what’re you doing tomorrow?”
“Well, nothing much, I don’t think.” He relaxed, glad for the subject change. He only had to lie a little bit.
Peter made plans to hang out with Mr Stark the next day, and after a nice farewell, he hung up the line and relayed the same story to his aunt May, who bought it easily, and especially when he brought up Mr Stark and that whole phone call- another easy subject change, and another slick win by Peter Parker. It was this same sly excuse that also allowed him to go to bed early that night, to make some plans of his own. If he ever saw Loki again, now that he’d met him once, Peter would need to be prepared.
Firstly, he needed to understand the God of Mischief as best he could so that he could know what to prepare at all. Pulling out a notepad and a pen from his backpack next to his bed, Peter flicked on his bedside lamp and laid down on his stomach, scribbling down a list of traits- some things he knew for sure, others that were just theories, and some that were completely wild guesses. After he’d finished the basics, Peter held up the notepad, reading his work.
WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT MR LOKI:
- (For sure) Paranoid, antisocial, sensitive, aggressive, impulsive, and VERY sleepy. Very intelligent when not sleepy, but sleepiness seems to amplify all other traits and minimise smartness
-(Possibly) Insecure, traumatised, low self-esteem, and emotional (more than angry, sarcastic, stabby... etc.)
-(MAYBE) Lonely, desperate, sad, guilty, scared, misses Mr Thor, and needs a good friend
Peter thought back to when he’d told Loki that his big brother loved him, and Loki replied immediately with,
He shouldn’t.
For someone who seemed to like giving off that lawless, no-morals kind of vibe, a statement like that sure seemed to indicate otherwise. Peter chewed on his pen, setting the notebook back on his pillow as he decided what to write next, based on his limited intel. Peter decided to go for what he really wanted to achieve, which was:
HOW TO MAKE MR LOKI ALL BETTER:
-Get him lots of food (nothing greasy and gross… he’d probably really like Asian food) and drinks (always do teas and happy drinks) because Mr Loki has definitely not been eating enough
-Get him to SLEEP (not sure how to make this one happen yet)
-Be very nice but not too nice or else he might freak out and kill you
-Surprise him in any way if you want him to listen, but don’t do it too much or too scary or else he might also freak out and kill you
-Try surprise compliments
-Try surprise hugs but only if he’s really sleepy or really happy
-Tiny boosts of positive reassurance
-Tiny nudges to talk about stuff
-Don’t let him attack or kill anybody
-Try to keep him out of trouble
-Don’t let him get recognised
-Don’t let the Avengers find out he’s alive
-GET HIM TO GO BACK TO MR THOR SO THEY CAN BE HAPPY
After he finally finished his list, Peter read it over a few times, to memorise it and ensure he was as ready as he possibly could be. He capped his pen and closed his notebook, dropping both into his bookbag, which he zipped fully closed afterwards and slid under his bed. Just in case. Peter turned off the lights again, and rolled over under his blankets, scolding himself. He probably didn’t need to bother with any of that. No one was going to find out because Mr Loki was almost positively not going to run into him again. It was unbelievable it had happened once, so Peter was fairly certain that was all it would ever be. One visit by one ghost god, and that was it.
All would be back to the usual Friendly-Neighbourhood- Spider-Man stuff. It was still really cool and all, but Peter had just witnessed something insane. And he really, really, really hoped that he could keep that green smoke in his hands.