@RealSpidey570360BC02C1a5664D7

ONE WEEK BEFORE THE ANNIVERSARY OF BEN'S DEATH

Peter sat down and laid his head back on the couch. It had been an exhausting day. A movie night with his aunt is exactly what he needed. A small headache had started forming over dinner and he was hoping it would leave before the movie started. Shuri and he sat in blissful silence for a few moments. She’d gotten up and gone to get her tapestry from her room so now they both had theirs around their shoulders. 

The sounds of the floors below echoed in Peter's ears but didn't take over which was nice. The Avengers were in a private meeting with Secretary Ross. Tony did all meetings with Ross in a soundproof room which Peter appreciated. If the way Tony talked about the Secretary meant anything, Peter wouldn’t want to hear how loud their arguments got.

"Sorry if this is really awkward," Shuri said suddenly, "But uhm, with what happened at lunch, I just wanted you to know that you're not alone, or well I guess that your not the only person our age to deal with that. Tony said something about PTSD and just, I guess I deal with that too so you're not the only person under twenty five who has that and doesn't really feel like they're even old enough for it yet."

Peter stared at her for a few seconds. The idea that she had been through something that awful stung him.

"Sorry if that was weird or anything," Shuri muttered, looking back at her hands.

"No!" Peter said quickly, not realizing how long he'd left her without an initial response. "No, uhm, I really appreciate it, uhm wow, that means a lot. Not that you have uhm, have that problem or anything just, uhm, just thanks for telling me."

Shuri smiled at him, "Your welcome, I guess I figured you didn't really get to choose if I knew or not, so at least this way," she shrugged.

Peter nodded and forced himself to keep talking. "Thanks, uhm, yeah I guess everyone I know who uhm who has PTSD fought in the battle of New York, or in Sokovia and stuff. My friend MJ has had panic attacks before but I don't know, it's different. Not necessarily worse or anything just," Peter didn't finish his sentence either.

"I don't have panic attacks," Shuri's voice was soft, "I can't sleep when my brothers away though. I can't sit down either. I, uhm, I don't stop working when he's gone. On suits, on medical supplies to help him in case one of my worries came true."

“Tony does that,” Peter muttered, “He pretends he doesn't but Pepper and Rhodey have told me stories of what happened after he flew into the wormhole in New York and it was bad.” Peter thought for a second. “I kind of do that too,” he thought for a long second. Shuri gave him time. "How well can you keep a secret?"

Shuri looked at him odd. "You know I'm from Wakanda?"

Peter rolled his eyes, "How well can you keep a secret from your brother and Okoye?"

"Oh, uhm, well they still don't know I'm gay if that counts for anything." Shuri shrugged.

Peter smiled a bit, "Fair enough, I just," he sighed, "You know what, what the hell. This is ridiculously classified but I'm the only one who gets to declassify it. Are you okay with having a non-life threatening secret that Captain America doesn't know?"

Shuri looked at him weird, "Is this still about PTSD or have we moved onto something else?"

"It's still about, uhm, it's still about my PTSD, just like a really extreme uhm an extreme thing that occured because of it I guess. Wow I hate that I can probably technically classify this whole thing as an unhealthy coping mechanism. Are you good with a secret?"

Shuri thought for a second, "Not even my brothers guard? Is it something they should know?"

Peter shook his head. "Unless you get to a point where you think them knowing could literally save lives. I don't think his guard would keep it a secret from him and I think he would tell Captain America and Black Widow and stuff."

"Who knows?" She asked suddenly.

"My aunt May, Tony, Ned, MJ, Spiderman, Pepper, and Rhodey."

"Wow, uhm," she gave him an odd look."I can keep it a secret for you. What is it?"

Peter took a deep breath. "A few days before I, well before I watched my uncle die. That's uhm, that's where part of the traumatic part of the post-traumatic-stress is from. But a few days before that I-”

“I’m sorry that happened,” Shuri interrupted. “Sorry, I know you were getting going and sometimes it’s hard to stop but I thought I watched my brother die, and I- I’m really sorry.”

Peter watched her fiddle with the edges of her tapestry for a few moments. “Thanks, I’m, wow I’m, I’m sorry, is he okay now?”

Shuri gave a small nod, “He changed that week but a lot happened and a lot of people changed. Physically he’s okay though. You can keep telling me what happened, I’m sorry I stopped you.”

Peter thought for a moment before continuing, “Thanks, uhm, so a few days before Ben died, about a year ago, uhm, I was at a field trip for school, and a thing happened that I don’t understand enough for it to be worth it for me to try and explain it. But I changed, like physically things started changing in me. I had a fever for a few days but my asthma went away. It confused May and Ben, and it confused me as well but I didn’t tell anyone what had happened at the lab.

“I was stronger, and faster, and my hearing and sight couldn’t stop noticing things, and I felt better, and I would get this weird tingle in my neck if something bad was about to happen. And when Ben died I knew something was about to happen and I still just stood and watched it happen.” Peter felt himself start crying, and his headache persisted. “I- I had the whole guilt complex thing along with a lot of other problems, but uhm, I didn’t want anyone else to die because I stood still for too long. So I put on some sweatpants, found out that I could stick to walls, made some webs, and started fighting crime and protecting the little guy in Queens.” 

Peter stared at her terrified of her response. She was a smart woman. Like brilliant. But they’d just been talking about post traumatic stress disorder so Peter didn’t know if she would catch on right away. 

“Is that how you met Spi- Oh my GOD IT’S YOU!” She was nearly shouting at the end and Peter felt himself wince against the couch at the noise.

“Sorry!” She whispered harshly. “But it’s you right?” She kept whispering which Peter appreciated. “You’re spiderman?”

He nodded with a smile at her excitement. “I am.”

“And the whole thing started because,” She thought for a second, “Shit that sucks. Everyone glorifies it too, and it’s just.”

“It started out as a way to try to get rid of survivors guilt. It’s more than that now. Which is nice. But yeah, it started out that way I guess.” Peter leaned against the couch again, pulling his tapestry around him. 

“Wow, okay wow, so you oh my gosh so you made all that stuff and okay I feel less weird about you taking over all his designs and chemistry and stuff, and that makes so much sense as to why- Holy shit you’d already met my brother! You must have been out of your mind when he showed up at your door! Wow that’s really- Wait can you show me how you stick to things? Is it weird if I ask to look at the hairs from your hands under a microscope, that’s what you said it was right, did you feel those grow in?” She stopped herself looking embarrassed. “You just told me that this all started right when you were traumatized, I’m so sorry.”

“My friend Ned asked if I laid eggs. You’re not offending me at all. It sucks that that’s how it started, and Tony said it gave me one hell of a hero's complex, but it’s kind of exciting now.”

Shuri nodded excitedly, “So I’m allowed to entirely nerd out about- OH MY- Sorry I keep forgetting to not yell, oh my god you’re RealSpidey aren’t you?”

Peter couldn’t help the huge smile that came across his face, “I’m going to tell you what I told Ned. I’ll acknowledge your account on twitter if you can crack the code.”

Shuri smirked. “You already lost that bet.”

“What?” 

“You think you’re clever, but I’ve got you beat because you had a conversation with RealPrincess1999 several weeks ago and have been DMing her ever since.”

“Holy Shit WHAT?!” Peter yelled.

Shuri started laughing. “No wonder you were so hard to hack. Ned must be your guy in the chair then yes?”

Peter nodded dumbly, staring at Shuri.

“You really didn’t think that if you were really spiderman you might be tweeting an actual princess?”

“No, I- I’m kind of dumb,” Peter stared at her, “Wow, that’s awesome. Do you want me to tell you the code?”

“No!” She all but yelled, “I need to figure it out for myself.”

Shuri thought for another moment. “Give me a hint.” She said.

“Capitaliation has nearly nothing to do with the content. Stark was right to think about bases.” Peter answered. People are coming down though."

"How do you know?" Shuri looked around. 

"Super hearing,” Peter answered, “It sounds like Black Widow and Hawkeye are going towards the personal elevator. Vision is hard to track because he just kind of hums. Your brother’s talking to Tony and Wanda. I think that Steve is walking with them though.”

“Now you’re just showing off,” Shuri smirked. 

Peter shrugged, “I can’t do it with too many people so I take what I can get.”

Shuri thought for a moment. “Before Steve gets back, do you have any background in neurology or computer programming?”

“Ned hacked Starks suit for me once. So he does, I’m not that good though.”

Shuri nodded, “Can I email him a puzzle that I need solved? He might not get a lot of context.”

“If I tell him who it’s from he might pass out, but he would finish it faster. Steve’s going to be able to hear us soon.” Peter warned.

“They don’t know about anything right?”

“Right.” Peter nodded. “Just Tony.”

Shuri smiled, “Thanks for trusting me.”

Peter shrugged, “Thanks for being cool.”

“Adults coming in!” Tony yelled ahead of himself, “You can stop talking about us now!”

“May’s not here yet,” Peter called back, “So we can’t start the movie. She texted me about ten minutes ago that Happy showed up so it’ll still be a bit.”

“Thank you again for inviting my sister and I to the movie night,” T’Challa was saying to Steve as they walked into the room. “We truly appreciate the hospitality.”

“Anyone with a room here is invited to movie night.” Steve said with a smile. “And Peter I guess.”

“I have a room here!” Peter sat up straighter, aware that the blanket over his shoulders probably made him look like a kid.

Steve looked at Tony, “That’s his room?”

Tony nodded, “It’s better than him sleeping on the work couch when he stays late nights here.”

“Remind me where you found him again?” 

“He wouldn’t stop emailing me.” Tony gave an exasperated sigh.

Wanda rolled her eyes, “Peter how did he find you, because he’ll never give us a straight answer.”

Peter shrugged, “I designed a lot of stuff for spiderman.”

“You know Spiderman?” Captain America asked.

“Yeah,” Peter answered, “He’s an old family friend, he’s not traceable to me though, we made sure of that.”

Wanda smirked, “It’s very tempting to just take a peak into your mind to see who he is. But if he wants out of this new Accords bullshit then I don’t blame him.”

Captain America looked over to her. “I still think the kid deserves in if he wants it.”

“He will not want in.” Wanda said.

Tony walked back from getting a few glasses and a pitcher of water out for everyone. 

“But we won’t know unless we ask him will we?” Captain America asked. “He has that right to choose.”

Tony rolled his eyes but Wanda beat him to talking. “No smart sixteen year old with a secret identity is going to voluntarily give up any of the rights that are not currently trying to be forced away from them. We are signing things away Captain, things that will not be easy to get back. We’re fighting our best, but we can only do so much.”

“These boundaries can be pushed Wanda, the kid won’t be in any trouble if he stays in Queens.”

“These boundaries cannot be pushed equally Steve.” Wanda said pointedly. “You, Tony, and Clint may be american grown but Natasha and I are foreign grown weapons. I’m a danger to my enemies and people are looking for reasons to lock me up. We are not on equal footing right now.”

“Wanda people are scared of all of us. You’re no more worrying to them than-”

“I am Steve. I am more worrying to the white men of America if for no reason other than my heritage.”

“Well that’s not something the kid will have to worry about Wanda. The kids american, he’ll be better off out in the open.” Captain America turned to Peter, “He is American yes?”

Peter nodded

“See Wanda. He’d be better to sign.”

“He would be better not to Steve. American or not he is still more mutant than you are. More mutant than Barnes. People will fear him.”

“People fear all of us Wanda come on, people have been terrified of Tony and he’s the one who’s wanted us to sign since the beginning. I can’t believe you’re not with me on this one?” Captain America looked to Tony. 

“I refuse to let Spiderman think I sit on either side of this. I wasn’t planning on telling them but Peter’s gonna spill the beans so I don’t want the arachna-kid to know where I stand. I’m not pushing him either way. Sorry cap.”

Captain America seemed to take this in before continuing. “They won’t be any more afraid of him than they are of you or I Wanda.”

“They understand your strength Steve they will not understand the power to stick to walls as they do not understand the power to control energy. Mutants are treated differently. You have to recognize that you only count as a mutant because you were altered, not because you are weird.”

“You might be right,” Captain America said, “But I still think it’s his choice. Otherwise we’re forcing him to stay local indefinitely. Ross says it’s a one time deal.”

“What?” Peter asked.

“That will never be permanent.” Tony said. 

“That’s what you told me with the accords and Wanda, Clint, and Scott still ended up at the bottom of a-”

“The Accords did change, first of all, and second of all Ross will never lose an opportunity to try and force Spiderman out of his mask. He will push to get spiderman onto our agreements until Ross himself has died at the age of Sixty seven from a second stress-induced heart attack. So I’m sorry if I’m not worried about it. Besides, the kids staying low. I asked and he said he didn’t want to be in the big leagues yet. We’re not pushing him.”

“I’m not asking to push him Tony, only to-”

"Captain America suggesting you take a closer look at things counts as pushing." Tony answered.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Captain america asked.

"I disagree-" Peter started.

"Your opinion is not coming out right now Peter." Tony said.

"Why not?" Captain America countered, "Let the kid speak!"

"Nope. Spidey boys friend here does not-"

"What would he want Peter." Captain America asked. The room went oddly still.

"Who-at? What?" Peter wasn't ready for the attention.

"Do you think we should tell Spiderman both sides of the argument. Let him know that the avengers offer is still open if he signs."

"Or if he doesn't," Tony turned to Captain America. "Are you saying he either signs or can't help us out?"

"How is he supposed to travel Tony?"

"He could stay domestic. The United States has not yet said they’re opposed to unregulated vigilantes.”

“They might when they see a young powerful one who they have no control or understanding of.” Wanda said. “He does not want to push that line.”

Peter felt his phone buzz. May was calling him.

“Hey May,” He answered. The room turned to him before realizing what was happening and looking back at each other.

“Hey, did you tell Shuri?” 

“Oh, uhm, one sec let me get somewhere that’s not in the middle of everyone.” He moved out of the room as Tony and Captain America resumed their bickering. “Yeah, uhm, yeah I did, it kind of came up.”

“It came up?” May was confused but Happy laughed in the background.

“Uh, yeah, I- well yeah. We, can I just talk to you when you get here?” He asked hating how young he felt.

“Everything alright?”

“Uhm, better than earlier, I just can’t stop thinking about Ben today.”

There was a small pause, where Happy asked May what Peter had said. “Me too Petey, me too. I’ll be there in a few minutes okay?”

“Yeah, uhm, yeah tell Happy to drive faster,” Peter said.

“Will do, I love you kiddo.”

“Love you too May.” Peter smiled and hung up, sitting on his bed for a moment, allowing the silence to help his headache.

He laid down on the bed for a moment, not quite ready to face the responsibility of both being spiderman in a conversation way out of his league, and pretending that he wasn’t as invested as he was.

Peter laid down on his bed, only for a second to give himself some space before going back out into the living room. He wasn’t that tired. He just wanted to rest his head against the pillow for a few seconds.

May was shaking his shoulder which was not what was supposed to happen.

“Hmm? I’m awake, I’m awake. I promise.” Peter sputtered, sitting up a little too fast and nearly falling back to his bed.

“Hi,” May was laughing, “I hung up six minutes ago and you were already out cold Peter. Do you want to just go to bed?”

Peter shook his head, “It’s only nine, I’d wake up at like four and that doesn’t help anyone.”

May smiled, and Peter turned himself so he could lean into her. Neither of them could hug as good as Ben had, but they had grown used to hugging each other instead.

“You want to tell me why Shuri knows about Spiderman?” May whispered.

Peter shrugged, “We were talking about the way we coped with- May can we talk about this later? I’ve cried so much today and I just want to go watch a movie.”

May held him tighter, and kissed his forehead. “Yeah, we can go watch a movie. Do you know what it is tonight?”

“I think Natasha said that they’re running through a list of classics for Steve still. She said I’d like it today though.”

“Well that’s hopefully a good sign. How are your senses doing since you woke up? You have a headache?”

May was a witch. Or just really used to Peter’s bullshit. “Yeah I’ve had a little one growing since I woke up. It’s okay though really.”

“Alright, I’m trusting you on that. Tell me if it gets bad though okay?”

Peter nodded, “It’s not a migraine or a sensory thing, I think I’m just worn out.” He laid into her a bit more, not terribly wanting to leave.

“Have you been drinking water?” She asked, “Tony sounded like he’d forced a good amount of food into you at dinner.”

“He did, uhm, water might help some.”

“Alright, lets head out, you go find your spot on the couch next to your little science friend, I’ll text a picture to Ned and get him all jealous while I get you a water bottle. Sound good?”

Peter nodded, “Yeah that sounds good. She’s really cool May.”

“I should hope so, She knows more about you than MJ at this point.”

“May, MJ knows I’m Spiderman.” Peter looked up at her.

“Oh shit, I knew that, sorry. I forget the ones that don’t embarrass you.”

“May!”

“What?” She was laughing, “It’s easier to remember that Ned caught you on the ceiling than you awkwardly telling MJ in our living room.”

Peter stood up a bit. “Lets just go watch a movie,” he muttered.

“One more hug?” May asked as she stood up.

“Yeah, one more hug.” Peter answered. He pulled her in tight and tried his best not to wish Ben had his arms around them as well. “This weeks gonna suck.” He muttered.

“Yep.” May said, pulling away. “It’s going to suck so much, but we’ve got each other and that’s all we can ask for at this point.”

"Have you met them all then? Or did you come straight to my room?" Peter asked as they made their way to the living room.

"Straight to your room, Tony seemed worried that you hadn't come out. I think he generally assumes you've been kidnapped until proven otherwise."

Peter nodded, "That sounds about right."

Captain America walked down the hallway towards them and froze upon seeing May.

“Steve?” May asked. Peter whirled around and saw her staring at Captain America like she knew him. "Oh wow I didn't realize you were- and that- Wait a second you never called me. I had a good time, I thought we could get lunch."

"What?!" Peter asked her.

"Sorry, I uhm," Steve ignored Peter, "I don't have to good of a feel for technology yet. I'm figuring out work emails but texting is a bit of another beast. There's a lot of shorthands and they all mean very different things than the shorthand we used in the military."

"If you text me you can use full sentences, but I did want that lunch, and I don't see Kevin throwing another party like that one any time soon."

"No I don't think so either."

"Sorry, not sorry" Peter spoke up before anyone could keep talking, "But what the heck is going on here?"

"I met Steve at that weird birthday party I couldn't stop talking about a month ago. He's the guy I said was one of three good things to come out of it " May clarified.

"What were the other two?" Steve leaned back and his shirt stretched out against his muscles. 

May laughed, "They had good wine, and my coworkers owed me because I was the one who offered to take the gift from our department."

Steve laughed as well, "That's fair, I'm unemployed by some standards and still can't get drunk so you were probably the only good thing I got out of it."

"Okay what the actual heck?" Peter's head was swivelling between the two of them terrified. "Are you asking Captain America on a date right now?"

"No!" May and Captain America said at the same time.

"And kid you can call me Steve."

"I don't think you understand how much I cannot do that."

"Peter," May put a hand on his back, "We met at a party and got along. It's not a romantic thing, it's a friendship thing, and if he asks you to call him Steve you can call him Steve."

Peter stared at her for a bit before glancing back at Captain Steve who looked like he wasn't sure if he was supposed to find it funny.

"Why don't we go watch the movie," Captain Steve said, "Natasha said it's the first of eight and they're supposed to be good."

Peter felt his muscles physically relax at the idea of watching the first Harry Potter movie again. 

"Well that was the right thing to say, huh bug?" May asked Peter with a smile at Steve.

Peter nodded and May pulled him into a side hug before they walked together into the living room with a confused Steve behind them.

Luckily for Peter the rest of the introductions were not as exciting. May seemed to avoid T'Challa but the King didn't seem offended. She greeted Shuri with a smile and warned her that Peter drooled in his sleep. 

"He seems the type." Shuri had replied. 

May and Peter were curled up on the corner of the couch when Clint and Natasha made there way in with a DVD in hand.

"Steve you are about to be introduced to the wonderful world of Harry Potter."

"I've heard of that one," Captain Steve smiled. "It's where the Legolas joke comes from right."

Peter winced causing May to laugh. 

Hawkeye spoke up. "That's Lord of the Rings. This one's just wizards. Unfortunately no bows and arrows."

Captain Steve nodded but was obviously still confused. They started the movie and the adults must have rethought their decision to invite Peter and Shuri who both sang along, loudly, to Hedwig's Theme. May hummed with Peter, like she would when they would watch the movies with Ben. Peter had the tapestry draped around both of them, as Shuri did with her brother and their tapestry. Natasha’s legs were rested on Clints lap, and he spent most of the movie texting someone. Captain Steve was enthralled in the movie, and Wanda couldn’t stop watching either. Peter saw her playing with balls of energy throughout all the Wingardium Leviosa scenes and smiled. Even if it was fiction, she probably understood Harry’s wonder of the magical world better than any of them.