@RealSpidey570360BC02C1a5664D7

ONE WEEK BEFORE THE ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF BEN'S DEATH

“Odd question for you,” Peter said as he and Shuri walked towards the kitchen for lunch. They’d spent hours going back and forth about nanotechnology and carbon-based coolants in the lab.

“Yeah?”

“Tony said he thought you would be leagues beyond him, but we seemed to keep a pretty good pace with each other. Does your reputation precede you or was Tony worried about something else? Because I’ve never seen him give up his ego as fast as he did when he heard you were coming.”

Shuri seemed about as comfortable with this questioning as Peter had been when she’d asked to meet Spider-man. “A lot of my work is easier due to the properties of Vibranium. This helps especially in mechanical and electrical engineering. I’ve been able to apply these projects to biomedical things, by using imaging software that’s enhanced by vibranium, and tools that are more precise than you could manufacture easily, but I haven’t yet been able to use vibranium to push biochemistry into new bounds. Uhm, I like staying where I’m comfortable. So I just push the bounds of mechanics instead of making my own webbing or a carbon-based electrical insulation.”

“Oh, so you’re one of those ‘physics is the best things in the world people aren’t you?” Peter asked, filled with fake disgust.

Shuri let out a laugh, “Physics is safer with me, I like to test things too much to feel calm with medicine.”

Peter smiled at that, “That’s fair.”

“Your a bio boy though aren’t you? Bio and chemistry until death do you part?”

Peter smirked, “You could say that yeah. It’s more fun when there's so much yet to be done. I also don't like the idea of getting really good at flight mechanics. My parents were in a plane crash and I feel like if I understood planes I’d want to know more details on how the terrorists crashed it, and that just leads to a whole mess of emotional turmoil that I don’t want to spiral into.”

Shuri nodded and gave him a small smile. Peter saw her glance at the tapestry he’d thrown back over his shoulders for the walk to lunch. 

“I am very sorry about your parents by the way. I don’t remember it, but T’Challa says we met your mother when we were younger. He and my mother seemed to be fond of the memory.”

Peter didn’t know how to respond to this. He’d heard it before, from May, and Ben, and thousands of diplomats, but to hear it from someone he barely knew with such emotion was something different entirely. 

“Thanks,” He said after a bit, “I, um, I’m sorry to hear about your father. I can’t imagine dealing with that in the middle of all the political stuff I’m sure you had to deal with. I- when my uncle died my grades dropped for the first time in my life. That was fixable, I can’t even guess what that must have been like for you.”

Shuri smiled and put a hand on his arm. “Thank you,” her voice was shaking a bit but she held it sturdy. “Now let’s walk faster because Tony said it was hotdogs for lunch and I haven’t had a hotdog in years.”

Peter laughed at this and followed her up the stairs.

The lunch started off awkward at best. Captain America sat by Tony and King T'Challa where they continued to talk about more details of the regulations various governments were trying to put on them. Apparently Sweden was being particularly difficult to work with. 

Peter and Shuri tried to continue talking about the coolant Peter was working on, but there were no notebooks allowed at the lunch table per Peppers rule, and they'd gotten to a point where they needed to write things down. T'Challa quickly caught on when they started playing with the nanoparticles under the table and told Shuri to keep them away from the food.

Eventually, after many discussions of Sweden's attempt at an avengers level policy, Spiderman was brought up. Captain America did it without even knowing what he'd done.

"Ross still wants to know about the kid Tony. I know he didn't bring it up with T'Challa here because there was other stuff, but you've gotta tell Spider-Man what's going on." 

Peter forced himself to keep eating his food like a normal person.

"What does Secretary Ross want with Spider-Man?" T'Challa asked.

"Not with kids at the table," Tony answered smoothly between bites.

"What?" Shuri asked loudly. "We had to listen to fifteen minutes of arguing about Swedish border law but you can't tell us the one interesting thing you've talked about all day?!"

Captain America chuckled. "It's not like it's gruesome Tony."

"I know, but I know Peter, and Peter will tell Spiderman on accident. Not a problem I want."

"He should know, it's not like they're asking him to sign the Sokovia Accords, just-"

"I said not at the table Steve. Spiderman was offered a spot, he declined, he's just a friendly neighborhood Spiderman now and we have no right to pull him into this."

"Is the offer not still standing then? Because I remember you saying you hadn't ex-"

"Steve you do not understand how frequently Peter has told Spiderman things he's not supposed to. Kid spoils everything. So let's shelve this conversation for a bit alright."

"Where does Peter see Spiderman? He's rarely here," now Captain America turned to Peter, "Do you go to school with him?"

Peter looked at Tony for help, but Shuri talked faster, "Wait how old is Spiderman? Is he our age?"

"Of course not Shuri," T'Challa started before turning to Tony, "He's at least eighteen correct?"

Captain America looked at Tony. Tony looked at Peter. Peter shrugged. 

“You’re the one who tells me to keep my mouth shut,” Peter said.

“Tony let it slip that he was in high school while we were in Berlin. I don’t know if he’s eighteen or not.” Captain America said.

“He’s not yet.” Tony clarified.

“Holy shit really?” Shuri asked.

“Language Shuri,” T’Challa said.

“You’re the one who taught me all the swear words brother!”

“Under the promise that you wouldn’t tell anyone about that.” He shot back.

Peter snorted which earned him a hard look from Tony. 

“What did I do?” He asked, knowing that Tony couldn’t answer that in front of them.

“Tony how old was Spiderman when he was asked to fight with us in Berlin?” T’Challa asked. “He was older than Shuri and Peter at least, yes?”

Tony desperately looked up at the sky. “How old is Shuri?”

“Seventeen now, but barely.” He answered.

Tony shook his head, “No he was, shit, um I think he was fourteen when I took him to Berlin.”

“Fifteen.” Peter corrected quickly.

“Fifteen?!” Steve nearly yelled. “Tony, you put us up against a fifteen-year-old?”

“He held his own, didn’t he? None of us were aiming to kill Steve.”

“I was.” T’Challa breathed out. “And I would not have hesitated if he had naively gone between Sergeant Barnes and me.”

Peter stared at T’Challa, reminded suddenly of the vibranium claws wore and the metal that sat in his pockets, and was woven along the tapestry on his shoulders.

The silence sat for a while. 

“So he’s only, what, sixteen now?” Steve asked quietly. “He’s sixteen and you’re still letting him fight? You invited him to the team?”

Tony nodded, “He’s a stubborn kid. I tried to take the suit away and he nearly killed himself taking down my plane. He’s not gonna stop fighting Steve, from what I’ve heard you understand that.”

“I was eighteen when I started pulling shit like this Tony! He’s a kid! He has parents who need to know! He has a family who should be sticking out for him! If my ma had been alive lord knows I wouldn’t have been allowed to enlist more than once and I was twenty-one years old!”

Peter’s face blanked. Captain America thought he shouldn’t be a superhero.

“His parents know.” Tony lied. “Can we not do this in front of them. Please. Spiderman will hear about it”

"Tony this conversation cannot wait." T'Challa insisted.

"Peter," Captain America turned to him with his signature PSA look about him. "Can you swear that none of this conversation makes it to Spiderman."

Peter stared back. Could he swear not to tell Spiderman? No. Could he swear not to tell Spiderman the important parts? No. Could he resist the Captain America PSA look? Not in eighth grade he couldn’t. He’d been to detention now though. And had taken hundreds of fitness exams. Captain America’s voice taking over the pacer is really what made him immune. He could resist the look. That was the only thing he had on his side.

"That look doesn’t work on me anymore.” Peter blurted, very aware that this was not the question.

“What?” Captain America, Tony, and T’Challa asked.

“That look, the one you just used. It, it doesn’t really work on me anymore. I get it in too many of the school videos.” Peter turned to Shuri. “Remind me to show you those later.”

Tony was obviously getting over the near-disaster situation by trying not to laugh. This confused Captain America even more, but T’Challa merely looked pensive.

“Tony,” T’Challa began. The calmness of his voice sobered Tony up fairly quickly. “Is there any way to force Spiderman to stop helping people?”

“It only makes the job more dangerous for him. He won’t stop and he’s stronger when he has our support.”

Tony went on to explain the situation with the Vulture. He left out the part where Peter survived a building falling on top of him. A building that had collapsed on him and left him alone. Tony was leaving out the most important part but Peter couldn’t call him out on it.

Shuri was asking questions about the plane’s systems and Captain America was trying to figure out how Peter and Tony had met. Tony was only answering Shuri’s questions. 

“Do his parents know? They’re okay with this? Tell me his parents know.” Captain America all but yelled. It sounded louder than it probably was.

Peter physically winced. He didn’t know, did he? He didn’t know what they would think of him being Spiderman. T’Challa’s father might have known. Maybe they’d told his mom about Black Panther and she’d said what she thought of him.

“I told you already his parents know.” Tony lied again.

“Did they know when he went to Berlin?” Steve's voice didn’t waver.

“I wasn’t,” Tony sighed. “I wasn’t entirely transparent with them. They still didn’t know his identity at the time. They didn’t find out until after the Avengers offer.”

Peter still hadn’t told his parents. May and he had driven him to see them earlier this year so that he could tell them but he never got the words out. Sure they probably knew, and he had the mask in his hands as he knelt in the slightly soggy grass. But he never said the words. Captain America was the pinnacle of excellence and he didn’t think Peter’s parents would have liked him. He didn’t think Peter should keep this a secret from his parents. 

Captain America's heart rate was going faster. Peter knew it was louder than everyone else's but this was a lot. Peter tried to push it aside and the rest of the world took over instead. 

“After the offer Tony? He’s a kid, his parents should know!”

T'Challa's heartbeat was loud too and beating faster. Tony's heart never beat normally but even he was loud in the kitchen. Pepper was two floors down talking to Happy about something. The lights in the kitchen were bright and humming. Peter blinked his eyes closed but that didn't get rid of the humming or the feel of his socks scratching against the sole of his foot. 

Someone yelled something else and Peter tensed at the way the sound pounded against his head. He'd worn fluffy socks today and now he could feel every strand as they crawled their way up to his ankle.

“Peter?” Tony was talking to him. He was yelling? Peter opened his eyes and the kitchen light reflected off the table forcing him to close them again. 

"Peter I need to know if you can hear me." Tony was closer. How had Peter missed him moving? Peter could hear everything, how did he miss Tony moving. People in the offices nearby were moving and he could hear them. Two of them must be going at it in a closet. There were moans. His socks were still scratching his feet. The blanket was heavy on his shoulders pushing the seam of his shirt into his shoulders. The blanket was supposed to protect him. Him and Ben. Ben had been dead for nearly a year. Peter couldn't hear Ben's voice anymore.

"Breathe Peter," Tony's voice again. It sounded like a whisper but it took over his senses because it was so close.

Was he not breathing? He felt himself gasp air into his lungs and realized he couldn't breathe. He was having a panic attack. Shit. He was having a panic attack in front of everyone. How had it snuck up on him like this? He’s supposed to be able to get out of the room. He couldn’t have a panic attack in front of everyone. The people in the closet were breathing faster.

Hands caught him before he realized he'd started falling and he opened his eyes to see T'Challa and Tony looking at him terrified. He closed his eyes again to block out the light.

"I need you to breathe with me Peter," Tony did the whisper yell thing again. Peter was having a panic attack. That's when Tony would do this. He would tell him to breathe. The office workers in the closet were both gasping for breath now. Peter heard every moan. He heard Pepper and Happy continue talking. Peter felt his hand against Tony's chest. It made itself sticky against the reactor and moved with Tony's breath.

One of the girls in the closet climaxed and Peter was sure his socks were cutting into his skin at this point. His blanket was so heavy. Shit, he didn't want to get rid of the blanket but it might stop his seams from digging into his shoulders. 

Peter heard Tony talking to him but he focused on T'Challa's breath. It was much more attainable than Tony's. Pepper and Happy were talking about Shuri. Happy had called her cute and Pepper was calling him out for not valuing her brain before her beauty. Happy was trying to say he meant it another way but Peter and Pepper both knew he was losing that argument.

Someone yelled at the girls in the closet and Peter jumped before forcing himself to pay attention to Tony. Her breath had gotten fast again and Tony's was still the same. In and out. Peter shifted his feet, forcing his shoes against his socks for a moment in order to pull his shoes off. The socks still scratched him, but they didn't poke into his skin quite as hard.

"There you go," Tony breathed out. His voice was crisp and clear. Peter felt the muscles around the reactor relax as much as they ever did. His heartbeat slowed back down. Captain Americas did too, but Tony was closer so Peter focused on him. 

"Eleven," Peter mumbled, feeling the dryness of his voice.

"I know kid," Tony whispered, "You have that spacey look to you. Can T'Challa or Steve carry you to your room?"

Peter's room was soundproof. Peter's bed has really smooth, weighted sheets. Peter's room could go completely dark. Peter needed to go there, so of course, he nodded. “Please,” He muttered.

He felt the grooves of Tony’s fingertips as the man gently pulled his hand away from the arc reactor. Peter put as much brainpower as he could into not sticking to the reactor and suddenly felt taken over by the amount of touch going on around him. Captain America had picked him up from the armpits and was pulling him closer. Before Peter could think to push away their chests were touching and Peter could feel every beat of the super-soldiers heart. It forced his head to throb with them. Happy had finally given into Pepper's argument. Now they were talking about Shuri’s brother. 

Peter let his eyes open again to see what was happening. Captain America was not carrying him. It was T’Challa. 

“Eleven?” Steve was behind T’Challa and his whisper was louder than T’Challa’s heartbeat. 

“Sensory input on a scale of one to ten,” Tony answered. His whisper was quieter. It was still louder than Pepper and Happy though.

“This normal for him?” His socks still itched.

“More than it is for other kids.” The girls were both fired. Apparently it would be a PR nightmare.

“It normally that sudden?” The sound dimmed a lot. Holy shit did the sound dim a lot.

“I think something started it, I don’t know what yet though. You stay out here, I’m gonna help get him into bed.”

Peter was in his room. It was soundproofed for this purpose. Tony must have closed the door because suddenly they were the only sounds coming in. His clothes still itched. The seams still dug into his shoulders which meant that his blanket was still on. It also probably meant he would need new shoulders. Wait that’s not how that works. 

“If you put him on the bed, I’m gonna help him get out of some of his clothes. I’ll be right back out.”

Peter smiled as much as his headache would allow. T’Challa let go of him and the world finally quieted down a bit. Tony helped him out of most of his clothes and got him into his bed which had the highest thread count Tony could get. He winced when the door opened and Steve's voice and heartbeat took over. Then the door closed and Peter felt how alone he was in the room. 

His heartbeat. His breath. His underwear pinched against his skin. The sheets were smooth but he could still pick out the threads now that all other input was gone. He could feel the wetness of his own tears though he was pretty sure he wasn't crying anymore. His head still pounded but even that was calming down and he was able to breathe easier through the pain.

He reached out of the sheets and felt for his blanket. Tony had taken it off. It was too prickly to the touch but Peter hadn't been without it since T'Challa had handed it to him and he didn't want to start now. He felt the vibranium itch against his skin. He let his finger stick to the blanket and pulled it underneath the sheets with him. The sensations at his fingertips lit up against his headache, but it gave him something to focus on. He felt the threads of the blanket until he fell asleep.