Sickness
Crying
Despair
Dying
Darkness
For a year, that was all the Hulk knew. And that was only when Banner slipped up, and the Hulk caught a peek at the outside world. Most of the time, he was trapped in Banner’s mind.
Self-loathing
Well, not entirely. Banner was disappointed in himself, hated himself too, but that was nothing compared to how much he hated the Hulk.
And God, did it hurt.
The hatred was like hammer pounding relentlessly at his head. Nail ripping through his skin. Acid burning through his veins. It hurt. All. The. Time.
And nothing helped.
Nothing.
Really, it was no surprise that whenever the Hulk took over he was smashing everything in sight.
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Sometimes Banner would slip up. Let a few words, a glimpse of the outside world, an emotion, get through to Hulk.
“... and I’m a huge fan of the way you turn into a huge green rage monster.”
A fan?
Hulk had… a fan?
Banner’s shame and self loathing squashed the thought.
But for the first time, the hatred dimmed. Only for a moment.
Hulk remembered the voice.
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“That much gamma radiation? You shouldn’t have survived.” The voice, the man was speaking to Banner again.
Disbelief.
“You think the Hulk; the other guy saved me?”
… did he? Hulk could barely remember when he came into existence. There was a lot of pain and confusion. Then again, didn’t that sum up his entire life?
“That’s a nice thought.”
Banner clearly didn’t believe it. But he appreciated the man saying it: not thinking the… thing stuck inside him was a monster.
The hatred receded a bit more.
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Banner had let him out earlier. He wasn’t fun. Hulk had hoped that the nice man, who thought good of him would be there. Instead, he got the beautiful woman with snake lips and lies for words. Banner was tired, annoyed from all her manipulation, and that made Hulk angry.
And then the red cape man with his heavy hammer that Just. Wouldn’t. Move.
If not for the hammer, and the flying vehicle with the gun, Hulk would have won.
Despite the fights, it was nice to come out again. Escape the meddled darkness of self loathing and hatred that was Banner’s mind.
Except now the self loathing and hatred was back with a vengeance, along with resignation.
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Banner was slipping up again. This time, Hulk could see.
A red metal man few around a tall building, quickly followed by a huge armored… alien? Invader? Hulk didn’t know what was going on.
But then Banner was urging him to the surface, telling him to fight, to defeat the alien beast.
So the Hulk did.
It wasn’t until after he defeated the beast, and he regrouped with the woman, hammer guy, and the others that he realized that the metal man was the same as the man before, the one who believed in the Hulk.
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Hulk was hurting.
But wasn’t that normal?
...There was something different about it this time. Yes, he had the body this time (take that Banner) and there were alien beasts to smash and the guns and bullets hurt a lot more this round.
But the self loathing and hatred had dimmed.
It was almost as if Banner was giving him a break. Saying thank you for smashing. For defeating the invaders, protecting the city.
Suddenly, all the aliens collapsed. Hulk huffed, picked up a car and smashed it onto the aliens.
They didn’t move.
Wimps.
And that’s when he noticed; the red metal man wasn’t flying around. Hulk looked up and saw the portal closing. Was the invasion over?
And then the metal man was falling through the portal. At once, Hulk saw that this wasn’t like his normal flight; zipping around, fire coming out from his feet, hands, back, following him around.
The metal man was spiraling through the air.
He was going to crash.
No. Hulk couldn’t let that happen. The one person who was nice, kind? Hulk leaped from the building, grabbed the metal man and slid to the ground. He rolled over onto his back, pulling the metal man on top him to shield him from the impact.
Hulk set the metal man on the ground as the others came near. One ripped of his metal face piece.
The man was sleeping..?
The blue costume man leaned over metal man momentarily. And then they all stayed still, not doing anything. Waiting for the metal man to wake up?
Hulk was not patient. He roared, and the man’s eyes opened. Immediately, he started cracking jokes, and something about shawarma. What was shawarma?
Banner’s relief hit him fast, knocking over any self loathing and hatred.
The man was important to both of them.
And Banner seemed to hate him less, sometimes not at all when he was near the metal man.
For the first time, Hulk felt hope.
Hope that Banner would stop hating him, and locking him deep in the darkness.
Hope that the pain would finally stop.
Hope, of making a friend.