You sat in the quiet area of the common room staring out at the dark sky and the large snowflakes making their way down. You felt drained but there was still the ever present restlessness that forced you to push your book away and just stare. Tonight you didn’t want to feel empty and maybe alcohol would be a quick way to allow yourself to loosen up. You grabbed a bottle of whiskey and walked back to the security of your corner just as Steve wandered in.
“Something on your mind?”
“You know me, just loving this time of year. Thought I might distract myself.”
“Not saying I agree with your methods, but I’d love to give you some company. You good with that?”
“Rogers, when have I ever been upset to spend time with you?” You smirked and moved just a bit so he could sit down right next to you. He watched you for a moment before giving you that signature soft smile and even though the drinking didn't affect him anymore you passed the bottle back and forth between yourselves. The two of you had become quite close over the years you worked together and he had even tried to help you talk to Bucky about how you felt, but you’d refused every time. You couldn’t risk losing your friend or distracting him from focusing on himself. If only Bucky could see himself the way you saw him. At this point your mind was fuzzy and all you could think about was Bucky’s hypnotizing eyes, but then you turned your head again to see the storm raging outside.
“It’s like… winters gloom.” you slurred. Bucky walked in right then and replied in a completely deadpan voice.
“It’s cloudy.”
“Maybe I was talking about your attitude Bucky Bear.” Bucky stopped in his tracks and looked back and forth between you and Steve. His lips curved up a bit discovering your drunken state.
“Funny doll. Steve, I see you’ve been entertained for a while. Any reason our friend here can barely sit up straight?”
“Y/N wanted to have some fun, who am I to get in the way Buck.” Steve and Bucky communicated with their eyes as you agitatedly scoffed ‘friend’ under your breath. “I was just about to make something to eat, maybe I should get her something too. Try and soak up some of the alcohol.” You watched his broad frame turn away from you, committing every inch into your memory. The way his body finally seemed relaxed but still so strong all at once.
“God, I wish I was cross eyed so I could see you twice.” A giggle bubbled from your lips as you stared at him. Both Steve and Bucky paused in shock. You always had a quick wit, but you had never used it to blatantly flirt with him before.
“Did I just hear what I think I heard?” Bucky asked turning to look at your now blushing face. His eyes peered into yours and was amazed by the sparkle he saw. Your hair had become a bit messy and you were so relaxed. God, he could watch you like this forever.
“I mean Christmas is coming up, can I take a picture of you to show Santa what’s on my wish list?” You shrugged your shoulders and looked up at him through your lashes. You felt brave, maybe you didn’t entirely know what you were saying, but at least you were trying right? Steve couldn’t hold it in anymore, he erupted in boisterous laughter as he got up to leave.
“Finally...looks like you’ve got this all covered. Don’t let your heart implode because your dreams are coming true okay punk?” Steve gave Bucky a pat on the shoulder and his laughter could be heard continuing down the hall. Bucky slowly turned back to you. He hated to admit it but Steve was right, his heart was beating out of his chest right now. You stumbled to stand up next to him so Bucky quickly gathered you in his arms to keep you upright.
“I mean life without you, James Buchanan Barnes is like a broken pencil… pointless.” Your giggles slowed down as you stared into his eyes. “I mean it, you don’t realize you’re a hero or that your eyes crinkle in the most adorable way when you smile.”
“You’re something else doll, you know that? I’ve waited so long for you to drop real hints that you’re just as into me as I am you.” He felt lighter, finally he had a reason to be more direct with you about how he felt. It also helped that you were being so adorable that he could hardly breathe. “God I hope you’ll remember this in the morning.” He leaned forward, pressing his lips against yours sweetly, trying to convey everything in that one kiss. You eagerly kissed him back and only parted when you both needed to take a breath.
“There is no way I will forget something like that.” You beamed up at him and Bucky returned the favor. “Did the sun just come out or are you smiling at me?”
“Careful doll, you’re stealing all of my lines.” Bucky took your hand and lead you back to the couch. You curled around him and his hands lightly played with your hair. Suddenly the world didn’t seem so dark, not to either of you, and now that he held you he would never let you go.