Restart [ discontinued ]

In all honesty, you didn’t remember school being such a nightmare as it was.

“Ugh…”

You trudged into your room and dropped your backpack onto the ground. You just got home and headed immediately to your room. You collapsed straight into your bed and sighed, feeling all of the tension in your neck unravel as you stretch.

“Hnnng…!”

Groaning out loud, you turned on your back as you stared at your ceiling. There’s faint music filling the background noise- you might’ve forgotten to turn off your headphones. You lied there, contemplating.

A week had passed ever since that mission. Not much had happened since then. You got reacquainted with your old friends, resumed school life, and tried to act normal as best as possible.

Of course, it was almost the end of May, which for you meant cramming for classes that you haven’t taken in literal years. Exams really were coming up, and you just prayed that you’d even have enough time in your schedule to study.

Even though, theoretically, your schedule shouldn’t be as tightly packed as one would think- since you’re not ‘Avenging’ anything and your dad let you off from joining him in his work to study- it just is.

But it all boiled down because of your seemingly fruitless research.

Specifically, research into where the time stone is right now.

You remember that, when you went to time travel, there had been a point where 3 infinity stones lied in New York- 2012, to be specific. It was the mind, space, and time stone. But it was 2013, and besides, you were mainly interested in the time stone, really.

Dr. Strange, who in your timeline had held the time stone, must’ve gotten it from somewhere, probably relating to whatever magical temple thing he went to.

You had slaved over nearly the whole entirety of what the internet could offer you. If anything, had it not be for the programming in your computer system, you were sure you’d be put on a watchlist of some sort from the type of things you were researching.

You grunted and rolled to your side.

There had been at least one lead, and that led you straight to Nepal, strangely enough. Something about a place that helps the broken, physically and/ or mentally. But even then, the post you found barely said anything about it.

Maybe it had to do with something like therapy? Or something medical? Strange was a doctor before, so he must’ve at least a connection to some insider knowledge…

You shook your head. You didn’t really know and didn’t care much for now. Your mind and body in itself, ironically, was tired.

A nap sounds really tempting right about now…

You will admit, you may or may not have spent an ungodly amount of research and talking to doctors and the like to finally find what you were truly looking for.

You sat back and stretched, finally taking your eyes off of the screen from what was hours of hunching over and typing.

You glanced outside your window. It was dark with only the lights of the city and your computer illuminating the walls of your room.

All of your research finally led to one really good, but painful sounding lead. There was a temple named Kamar Taj. As it turns out, your original lead was right; it is located in Nepal and from what you were told, the doctor you spoke to had known a friend who went there in order to help with their mental issue and came back healthy than ever before.

But, considering that Strange came from that temple, it was probably magic and junk like that.

You closed your laptop and all of your journals that you documented all of this research in. You sighed and mulled over it quietly. 

You needed to go to China and head to the temple… But it was vague, where it even was. And besides all of that, you needed to find a reason to tell your parents that you were going to China.

Of course, you can’t just walk up to them and tell them, 'Hey, I’m going to China because I need to meet someone with a green magical rock!’.

And it’s not like you’re an adult right now with no obligations; you’re a high schooler.

You have classes to attend, homework to finish, projects to start for next year… Perhaps during the summer, yeah, but even then you’re not sure that you can fit that in your schedule.

Maybe next summer?

Your eyebrows furrowed; you wanted to get your questions answered quickly, so that wasn’t an option…

And even then, you couldn’t guarantee that someone there, even if they had the stone, would be willing to help you. And what would you even ask? How would you even approach the subject?

All of this was making your head throb painfully.

You jumped in your chair when you heard a knock from behind your door. You swiveled around and got up, just as J.A.R.V.I.S. spoke up.

“Mr. Rogers is at your door, sir.”

“Yeah, could’ve guessed.”

You had changed your door to be a frosted glass one, so you could tell it was Steve by the broad shadow and slim waist. Your lips quirked up- you always called him Doritos man when his back was turned away from you.

“(Name)?”

You abruptly opened the door and was greeted by Steve’s wide eyes. Judging by his newly cleaned clothes and wet hair, he probably just got done with training and showering.

“Oh- hey.”

“Hey yourself, Steve.”

You smiled and opened the door wider, stepping back to let him in. He entered as he whistled quietly, looking all around your walls. You stood near your desk as you silently eyed him.

You ran your thumb over your arm, slightly scratching at your wrist.

“You’ve kept yourself busy these days, huh.”

He looks at a wall that was plastered with suit designs, some even having designed for your future Mark-93, which was the go-to model of your suit.

Granted, that one was technically either Mark-22 or Mark-94, depending on which timeline you were going off of…

Though you will say, there’s a huge technological leap between Mark-21 and Mark-22.

But while they were all underneath the other designs, you knew Steve couldn’t really tell them apart. You needed to get them all down and into your new lab, which should be finished by the end of the weekend.

He glanced down at your table, filled with journals. There was one about your research, a few for school, and the rest for your own little history book of your timeline. You recently just finished it, and now you needed to just… Get it off your desk. 

His lips quirked up a bit more as picked a few of them up. He probably thought you had a hoarding problem or something.

“Yeah, had a few ideas for some new tech, nothing new.”

Steve glanced at you for a split second. Was he nervous?

“I, uh, wanted to talk to you. About the last mission.”

You bit your lip as you dug your nails in your wrists, scraping away at the layer of skin as it turned an angry red.

“Oh, what about it?”

Steve sat down at the edge of your bed. You instantly thought back to when Tony had confronted you a few weeks ago. You sat down slowly, keeping your cool as he stared at you with those steely eyes.

Were they ever as unnerving as they are now?

“Back when we were in the building. And you had gotten… Ambushed.”

His shoulders were hunched as if he had a lot of tension in his back. His voice was quiet.

“Even though you handled the situation, I just… I want to say that I’m sorry.”

Your eyes widened. You sure weren’t expecting him to say that.

“Sorry? What for?”

It was funny, in your opinion. Last time, with Tony, you were confused because you didn’t know what mission he was talking about. This time, you knew exactly what the mission was. You were still confused, though.

“For letting you get ambushed. I should’ve known that there were going to be a lot of bad guys there, and I… I feel awful for letting you fight all of them alone. I’m sorry.”

For a split second, you felt your stomach churn when he said that. You fighting them all alone…

Memories of him flooded your mind.

'What if we lost, cap? What then?’

'Well, we’ll lose as a team- together.’

He always reassured you that you’d go down together as a team. That memory warmed you, only momentarily as something else rushed back at you.

The fight at Titan.

You remembered how it all lead to that. How the Avengers had been split. Those damn Sokovia Accords. You remember watching the light in Steve’s and Tony’s eyes changed as they looked at each other, already knowing their decisions at heart.

You remember how you told them explicitly that you didn’t want your second family to break apart. How Steve himself said it won’t.

You foolishly trusted him at the time- maybe it was the naive child in your heart that didn’t want to face the harsh reality.

You remember the fight at the airport. How that had marked the end of what you knew as the OG Avengers.

And at Titan… How you had all fought so valiantly, but it just didn’t amount to anything.

How you two were separated when you lost almost everything. Pete. Your friends at home. Humanity’s faith in their heroes. Your pride and dignity. Hell, you even lost your own…

You glanced away from Steve as you rubbed your arm tenderly.

It was burning.

“It’s cool, Steve. No bad blood. But thanks, for the uh, apology.”

You lied, hidden shame dripping from your words.

In your timeline, and even now, you were still bitter over the fight at the airport. Bitter for finding an injured and nearly frozen Tony at the old H.Y.D.R.A. base. Bitter for being lied to, about losing as a team. Bitter because Steve had thrown away everything you had given him. Your trust, your hope, your deepest secrets… Everything.

Of course, you aren't as bitter as you were at the moment- after all, years had passed since then-, but you were still bitter nonetheless.

To the point where you made it obvious during your timeline; you wouldn’t speak to him- and everyone who sided with him, even Natasha, much to your regret- unless it was business. You ignored every advance he made towards you, didn’t respond to his small talk, etcetera.

Was it immature? Yes.

But did he ever apologize to you, even when he had more than literal years to do so? No.

All he did was walk back into your life as if nothing had gone down between you two. And what hurt was that it was all purely because it was business related. He didn’t come back because he wanted to fix the relationship between you two.

It was because he had to.

Not because he wanted to.

Granted, one side of you understood that he was still on the run, but just… You would’ve even taken the smallest of hints that he at least thought about you.

At that point, you being bitter was more because he had never attempted to make amends with you rather than what he had done to your dad- at least with him, Steve had apologized, he did, but with you?

You got nothing, and you were hurt.

Your father was more forgiving of them- even inviting them in for lunch when they first approached your parents’ retirement home for business. You would be lying if you didn’t glare daggers at them the whole time, especially at Steve.

The air was tense. It was like both of you shouldn’t be here, in the same room, together. But neither of you got up before Steve spoke up.

“You know, I- we,” Steve coughed, “We were surprised, you know? There was a lot of guys in there.”

You could tell the poor guy was trying to lighten the mood. Change the subject, you suppose. It was much needed, especially between the two of you. You knew this Steve didn’t deserve to be around you while you were moody because of his future self.

That wasn’t fair.

“Really? You think I can’t handle myself?”

You teased. Steve smiled at you, the tension in the air becoming less thicker than it was before.

“Honestly speaking? Not really.”

Steve chuckled as you shoved him playfully with a fake-offended 'hey’. You smiled at him, almost relieved. You rubbed your wrist as you pulled down your sleeve to cover the red marks up. 

“And I told him I was fine, but he didn’t believe me and did it anyway!”

Your body shook with laughter as Steve chucked with you.

You two had been talking for a while now, and it had progressed from the mission to Steve reminiscing during his time before he was a frozen. He was telling you about how Bucky would fret over him since he used to be a sickly guy. Always getting into trouble, as well. 

Some things just never seem to change, especially in the future.

“Can’t really blame the guy, can you?”

He shook his head with a reluctant smile.

You’re leaned back on your chair as Steve’s half sprawled across your bed, only his elbow propping him up as he rolls his eyes.

“Not really… Though I would’ve appreciated if he had let me do my own thing.”

A comfortable silence filled the room. Your eyes wandered over Steve’s relaxed position. It was rare you ever got to see the man not worked up; he was always either training or trying to keep up with the world, which objectively is hard work.

“I don’t really think I ever told you this, but…,” You quietly spoke up as Steve stared at you with curiosity, “I always liked hearing about, you know, your life before being frozen.”

Steve perked up with a surprised smile.

“Really?”

You hummed quietly and closed your eyes. You nodded your head side to side as Steve eyed your peaceful state.

“Yeah… offer’s insider knowledge of a different time without talking to a bitter old person, you feel?”

Steve was silent, but not for long.

“Well… Is there anything you wanna hear more about?”

You opened your eyes just a tiny bit and pursed your lips. You squinted at him and hummed loudly.

“Hmm…”

What was there to know more about Steve? You already knew more than you’d like, and while you wouldn’t mind hearing Steve repeat the same story once again, you’d rather hear something else.

“Anyone that was special to you?” He opened his mouth, “Other than Mr. Barnes?”

You chuckled when he shut his mouth again with an eye-roll. The guy always took whatever chance he got to ramble on and on about Bucky, even though you secretly didn’t really mind it.

You were trying to fish for maybe someone else other than Bucky- you already knew first hand how special he was to Steve.

Steve thought for a moment before he spoke up again. His voice was soft as he smiled and looked at his hands.

“Well, there was this one gal… Her name was Peggy. She was my best gal.”

“That’s… That’s rough, buddy.”

Steve half-smiled at you.

He told you about Peggy, who was a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent during his time. Apparently, he had fallen in love with her and promised her a dance right before he, well…

You clicked your tongue.

“Well… It’s not really… Healthy, to you know, be hung up on people of the past, you know?”

You knew that first hand. The first few months after the snap, you were teetering on the edge of madness as you grieved heavily for your lost friends.

It was… A rough patch in your life. Never before had you ever gone so near to the brink of no return before your family- the ones still alive- had managed to reel you back in just on time.

While you knew that Steve was strong and that it wasn’t really the same thing, it still wasn’t that pleasant of a feeling to still be dependent on someone you once knew.

Though, it did just now occur to you how bad that sounded when you were just greeted with silence from the super soldier.

“Of course, not to say that you should forget her altogether, I just… I-”

You tried backtracking, but Steve shook his head with a smile.

“No, I get it. Actually, Natasha’s been trying to help me with that. Moving on.”

You raised an eyebrow. This was the first you’ve heard of this- you knew they were close, but you would’ve never thought that close. 

You supposed that during that long timespan that you never really saw Natasha and Steve, they could’ve gotten real chummy together, but… Something still bugged you.

“Wait, hold up, I thought Nat was into Bruce?”

There was a pregnant pause between the two of you. 

It was- so you thought- mildly well known between everyone on the team of the weird tension between Banner and Romanoff. Always sending each other looks under the table, the sly smiles- there was no way she wasn’t into Bruce.

Hell, even in the future, there was still the tension between the two of them- even if Bruce was, like, triple the size he was before.

And green.

Steve felt conflicted. What in the world are you talking about? He was quiet for a short moment before his eyes widened wildly. He stifled a chuckle as his shoulders shook.

“(Name), no, what I meant was she was trying to get me to date other people.”

Your lips were pressed in a thin line as your eyebrows shot up.

“Oh, welp-”

You couldn’t help yourself as you laughed along with Steve. The previous weight in the air from the topic of Peggy was lessoning a tad bit, just like earlier.

You two calmed down just a little bit, but you still held a toothy grin as you licked your lips.

“Well, has it been working? Any fine gals that caught Mr. America’s attention?”

You teased him. You wouldn’t really be surprised if he said no- he doesn’t really seem like the type to go prowling around for someone that interests him.

He’s quiet as he glances at you. His jaw clenches as you’re locked in a staring contest- granted you didn’t really know why. He trails his eyes off of you as he stares at your wall absentmindedly.

“I wouldn’t say that necessarily…”

He doesn’t really look at you as silence settles in the room once more, though you can’t really tell what the mood of the atmosphere in there was.

He glances at your clock and smiles. It’s a goofy looking clock- it looks like it’s made for a kid- that has a miniature version of your Apex suit. The quality was obviously rushed, and chances are you probably bought it from a Target or something. Maybe Amazon.

“Well, I should get going by now. Heaven knows the amount of work we both need to do tomorrow.”

You groaned loudly when you were reminded of tomorrow. Another day of school for you- though, you didn’t know what he had going for him tomorrow. Maybe a solo mission from Fury?

Either way, it was getting kind of late and you both needed some shut-eye.

You watched as he got up from your bed and rubbed his shoulder tenderly. You didn’t blame him- being in the position he was in, it definitely does a number on the shoulders.

You rolled your eyes as he groaned exaggeratedly. You slid down your chair just so you could stretch your legs and kick him in his knee pit.

He didn’t buckle, much to your annoyance, as he chuckled when he saw you almost falling off your chair like a child.

“Ouch!”

“Oh, you’ll live, big baby.”

“Oh, thanks for your words of encouragement.”

He laughed as he opened your door and as he was almost out the door, he popped his head back in as he remembered something. You raised an eyebrow as he had a cocky smirk on his face.

“Oh, and for your performance back at the last mission- I’m upping your training regiment. Good job, champ.”

His head dipped out of your door as you nearly fell off of your chair. The door slammed as you hopped over to your door and yell out your room. You watched as Steve’s figured disappeared over a corner, his laughing echos through the empty floor.

“Wha- hey no! That’s illegal! Ste- get back here! Steve!”