Chapter 1
Flash Thompson is well aware that he's an asshole. In fact, he's even proud of the fact that he's an asshole because it meant that he doesn't have to take shit from anyone. Especially not Parker, who keeps insisting that he knows Tony Stark. He absolutely does not know Tony Stark, and this is a fact, because Tony Stark is a Billionaire-Superhero and Peter Parker wears jackets with holes in them. Enough said.
“Really, does no one know what element was used as a power source for the Curiosity Rover?” Michelle Jones said to the table.
The Academic Decathlon were there at the library studying for nationals. On a Saturday. Could it get anymore lame?
“Uranium?” Charles asked.
“Plutonium." Michelle deadpans. "We're moving on…”
Peter Parker most definitely does not have an internship at Stark Industries, either. He knows this as a fact too, because he is just as smart as Peter is and no one has offered him an internship. He tried calling up the company to ask but the receptionist lady didn’t even let him through to the Internship Division. If Flash couldn’t do it—with all his natural charm and everything—then no way could socially awkward Peter do it. It was so obvious he was lying, if anyone even had half a brain they could figure that out too.
“Ode to a Nightingale was written by which Romantic poet?”
“Wordsworth? No! Keats!”
And, if by some god-given miracle Peter did end up having an internship, he was most likely stuck doing coffee runs for assistants of assistants. He knows how these things work, he’s even been to his dad’s workplace to see it in action. How could Peter know Tony Stark if he was just a lousy coffee boy? Tony Stark probably got his coffee delivered to him by Victoria Secret models.
“Wow, we suck.” Cindy declares, snapping Flash out of his internal pondering.
Flash had a big brain, okay? He genius mind wanders when he gets put on the teams sidelines. Talk about wasted potential.
“Nationals is in two weeks,” Michelle reminded everyone.
Flash already knew that, but did anybody bother to ask? No.
“Maybe we should go over the handouts again?” Sally asked.
Flash let out a big groan.
“But it’s the weekend,” he whined. “Nobody does work on the weekend. Why are we even here, why is Parker even here?”
Flash slumped down into his chair, ignore the look Ned was giving him. Michelle turned to him with a tight look on her face.
“Peter is here,” she replied slowly, “because he is smart enough to be on the team. Smartness...” she drawled out, “equals team. Not so smart equals alternative, got it?”
He glared at her but she was back turning around before she could see it.
“Speaking of you,” she said to Peter, sitting across from her. “Did you bring the study materials I told you to bring?”
Peter’s eyes widened, he obviously forgot. Seriously, was no one else seeing what Flash was seeing?
“Um,” he said, clearly uncomfortable with the situation. He checked his bag and came up empty-handed. Typical.
“Good one, Parker,” Flash taunted. “Now, if you had asked me , I would have actually—“
“I will punch you.” Michelle interrupted. Flash stopped, only because he wasn’t sure if she was kidding or not.
“I can go get it,” Peter added quickly. “I’ll only be, like, ten minutes tops.”
He started standing up, not waiting for an answer. Cindy stood up too.
“I’ll come,” she said. “What? My legs are getting cramped and I wanna go for a walk.”
Peter looked nervous at what Cindy had said, probably because he didn’t even forget his books and was just looking for an opportunity to dip. Not on Flash’s watch.
“I think we all want to go,” he declared.
Unsurprisingly, he seemed to be right. Everyone began to stand up and Peter’s eyes widened as it became clear that everyone wanted to come with. Oh yeah, he was definitely lying.
Peter turned to Ned and gestured wildly, trying to communicate in their weird nerd talk. Ned squinted, clearly not following before Peter finally whispered in his ear.
“You left them at Stark Tower?” Ned exclaimed, eyes wide with disbelief.
Flash couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“Really?” He stated, turning to Peter. “You really want us to believe that you left them at Stark Tower? Please, Penis.”
“Stark Tower!” Charles exclaimed. “No way, now we have to go! Do you think we will see Tony Stark?”
Flash rolled his eyes. “Of course we won’t. Do you want to know why?” He continued before anyone could answer. “We won’t see Tony Stark because there is no way Peter actually works there.”
Someone let out a boo.
“Give it up, Flash,” said Sally. “Just accept that you’re jealous and move on.”
Jealous, as if.
Flash really could not believe it—a whole team full of super-smart people and yet none of them could tell the difference between a truth and a lie. If anyone had to give it up, it was Peter. He was just embarrassing himself and he was going to be humiliated by the time they actually got there and he wouldn’t be allowed in. Stark Industries is a Fortune 500 company and those types and very strict on security, no way would they allow a random teen into the building.
The thought nearly made him laugh.
Just because Parker made it past security didn’t actually mean he knew Tony Stark. It was just dumb luck, that’s all. It didn’t mean anything, either, that the security guy actually gave him a high five as they passed by.
“That’s Ron,” Peter said, walking through the doors. “He’s super nice.”
The lobby of Stark Industries was very impressive. It was modern, spacious, had lots of windows and was filled with a variety of people walking every which way. Point was, it was overwhelming, yet Peter didn’t seem fazed at all. In fact, he was so unfazed that he continued walking when everyone else stopped and went up to the receptionist like it was nothing. It wasn’t nothing, even from afar the receptionist looked downright mean. But no, everybody just loves Peter Parker, including angry old ladies who let him into the elevator like its nothing.
“Take your friends,” she ordered.
Okay, things were turning up Flash. Now was the perfect time to catch Peter in his web of lies, because as soon as they would step into the elevator and it doesn't actually take them anywhere, then he would finally be exposed. Before Peter could protest to the receptionist, Flash spoke up.
“We would love to.” He exclaimed, leading the group through the doors. He waited smugly as Peter pressed a button and, shocker, it didn't move. Busted.
Then, the elevator went up. And up, and up, and then up some more until it was at a level in the hundreds. Flash also new about the systematics of workplaces, and the higher up in the building, the more important it was. Flash began to sweat, why was Parker allowed this high up?
The elevator stopped, dinged, and then opened to reveal one of nicest living rooms Flash has ever seen. He was definitely getting an architecture boner just looking at it, but could you blame him? It had everything—open space living, wall to floor windows, a ping pong table. It was incredible. It also was very clearly not part of public access and Flash, along with the rest of the team, felt like they were intruding.
Charles whistled. “Damn, where are we?”
“Um, the Common Floor.” Peter replied, looking around the room nervously, sketchily even. “Just wait here, I’ll be right back.” He started walking off before turning back around, "and don’t touch anything!”
Peter scattered down a hallway, leaving the team alone in what seemed to be private quarters.
“I feel like we should leave." Cindy said. "We should leave, right?”
Well, Parker had gone and done it, bringing them into someone’s personal living room to get back at Flash for teasing him. Then, he just straight up left them there to deal with the consequences. Unbelievable is what it was, downright dirty. He was taking it too far.
They could hear a pair of footsteps approaching, too heavy and too soon to be Peter returning with the study material. Shit. Flash stood up straight, readying himself to throw a certain team member under the bus before they could really get in trouble. Oh, he was so taking Peter's place in the team after this. That yellow blazer was his.
When the person came into the room, however, he thought he was hallucinating. For the first time in a while, Flash had nothing to say. Zip. Zilch. Zada.
Standing in front of them, in all his glory, was Tony fucking Stark. As in Superhero-Billionaire-Tony-Stark. Of the Avengers.
“JARVIS, there are children here,” the hero stated. “Why are there children here?”
Ned actually squeaked. Flash kinda wanted to faint. He was standing in Tony Stark's living room and they had no way of explaining themselves. Was he going to get repulser-beamed?
He has never felt more relieved seeing Peter run into the room. At least he had someone to blame, now.
“Oh, Mr Stark!” Peter exclaimed, addressing Tony Stark as if he actually knew him. What the hell was happening? “So sorry,” he called out while running into another hallway. “I’ll just be a minute!"
There was no way. There was no way Peter Parker just talked to Tony Stark. Of the Avengers. Who was currently talking to them about apple juice? What the hell.
Had Flash been… Wrong? No, that's impossible—he has only been wrong, like, twice in his life and this was not one of those moments. No, there was a probable explanation for this, like… Well… Maybe Tony Stark didn’t know who Peter actually was, just thought he was some random intern?
“So, how do you know Peter?” Tony Stark said. Flash inwardly combusted. He was really going to have to admit to himself that he was wrong. Ugh.
Peter came running back into the room, arms filled with notebooks and papers, and started guiding Flash and the team all back into the elevator. Flash allowed it to happen, only because he was trying to process everything that was happening. Look, you have to understand what he was coming at, Peter Parker was a nobody. How could a nobody like him know someone like Stark? Wait, unless he didn’t…
“Do you know Peter Parker,” Flash blurted. Goddamnit, that did not sound as smooth as he was planning.
“Academic decathlon, you said?” Tony Stark said to Peter and Flash felt like the world's biggest dumbass. Then, to make matters worse, Captain freaking America waltzed into the lounge and apparently he knew Parker too! What in the fresh fuck was happening. He had to reevaluate his entire life.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, the elevator doors started to close. Tony Stark said something about Bruce Banner and Peter and dinner and Flash just wanted to lie down.
Being wrong really was exhausting, he was never doing it again.