Steven Grant Rogers had never in his life been on an actual date, not counting the grade school practice dates that he had gone on with his childhood best friend, Bucky Barnes, before the other boy was whisked off to Russia by his shitty uncle after the death of his parents, never to be seen again. By Steve, at least.
Steven Grant Rogers was a bad liar, so when his roommate asked him why he never dated he began floundering intensely.
“Come on man,” said Sam, “you are smart and adorable and passionate about stuff, you just gotta get out there.”
“It’s not really my bag, Sam. I mean, we’re 18. There’s time.”
“Dude, you’re holding out on me. We’re back arely halfway through the semester, there is no way you could have had a nasty break up to keep you off the streets in that time.”
“Well, not in college as of yet. But I haven’t had the best luck.”
“Oh, I’m sorry man. I didn’t know.”
“Honestly, it was a long time ago. Junior high sweethearts, y’know? But he moved, and he said he would try to contact me, but he wasn’t in the best home situation, so...”
It was roughly 80% true, the only lie being that he and Bucky had been junior high sweethearts. Bucky had never known. Bucky was just trying to help.
“What was his name?” asked Sam.
“Bucky Barnes,” said Steve, not thinking.
“What, seriously? Dude, he goes here. He’s in my study group for history.”
“Gimme your phone.”
Sam looked confused at the sudden shift in Steve’s tone and handed Steve his phone. Steve clicked on the contact labeled Bucky - History Study Group and called it.
“What do you want, Wilson?”
Steve almost burst out laughing and crying all at once.
“Um...this is Sam’s roommate. Uh...Steve? Steve Rogers? From Brooklyn? From grade school?”
Bucky chuckled and Steve wished he could see that.
“You didn’t have to get that specific, Stevie. There’s only one Steve Rogers.”
“There’s lots of Steve Rogers.”
“There’s only one you, punk.”
Steve tried not to blush. He failed.
“Jerk. Listen, would you want to catch up sometime?”
“Yeah, that’d be great. Just lift my number from Wilson’s phone and text me.”
“Ok. And Bucky?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m really glad you’re here.”
“Yeah. Me too.”
Steve said goodbye and quickly hung up the phone. He tossed the phone next to Sam then promptly collapsed on his bed.
“Yeah, I’m gonna send you his number. You gonna be good?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Like I said, it was a long time ago.”
—
James “Bucky” Barnes had only been on one real date in his life, not counting the grade school practice dates that he had gone on with his childhood best friend, Steve Rogers.
The one real date that Bucky had been on had been with his best friend, Natasha Romanoff. It went as well as could be expected. They even said “I think we should just be best friends” in perfect unison.
Bucky knew that he should have tried to find Steve as soon as he was back in the states, but he was scared. Scared that Steve had moved on from their friendship, let alone all the unsaid things that Bucky wanted.
But fate had placed him at the same college as Steve, and in the same history class as Steve’s roommate. Fate was funny like that.
So Bucky sat in the coffee shop, waiting, not even knowing what to look for until he walked in. Bucky assumes that Steve would’ve changed, but he never would’ve guessed on what he saw.
Steve was still thin, but he looked stronger. When they were kids, a stiff wind could blow him over. He’d started wearing glasses, but Bucky could still see bright blue eyes shining behind the frames as the sun bounced off his blond hair.
Was Bucky over romanticizing? Possibly. Maybe. Definitely. But it was his first crush ever walking into a coffee shop looking vibrant and alive when he never thought he’d see him again, what was he supposed to do?
“Steve?”
Steve fixed his gaze on Bucky and smiled before sitting down across from him.
“How’ve you been, Buck?”
“I’m good.”
“Listen Bucky, I have a confession to make.”
You’re in love with me and would like to go on an honest to god date with me, thought Bucky, hopelessly, selfishly, foolishly.
“What?” asked Bucky.
“Sam was giving me a hard time about how I don’t really date, so I lied and told him that I had an emotional break up in junior high and that you were my ex, because I was embarrassed about the fact that I’ve never been on a real date.”
Bucky blinked. He could think of nothing else to do.
“And I know it’s horrible of me to ask, Bucky, but would you mind playing along? Sam’s really intense and so are all our friends, and I just...I only lied about the fact that we weren’t actually dating, and I’m really sorry-“
Steve blushed as he rambled and rambled as he blushed, and Bucky would’ve felt weak at the knees if he had been standing.
“Stevie, relax. Of course I’ll play along. I know all about intense people, remember Timmy and Monty?”
“Yeah. Would you...want to hang out with my friends? I mean, you probably have your own friends I shouldn’t have-“
“Besides you I have like two friends. And I’m sure they’d love to meet you guys. That is, if the convoluted backstory you’ve concocted for us isn’t gonna get in the way of us hanging out.”
“If it does, I’ll come clean, but I don’t think it will.”
—
“Um...I asked a friend of mine to come eat with us if that’s okay?” asked Steve.
Sam raised an eyebrow at him.
“Sure thing,” said Tony.
Carol gave him a thumbs up.
“So, who is this person? I thought you didn’t have a lot of old friends,” said Maria.
“Oh...he’s technically my ex-boyfriend?”
Sam smirked as Carol, Maria, and Tony all stared blankly. Tony was the first person to break loose.
“And you’re fine with hanging out with your ex?” he asked.
“Yeah. We dated in junior high, so I don’t know that that even counts.”
“It counts,” said Carol and Maria in unison.
“And anyway, he was my best friend first, and it wasn’t his fault that we lost touch. His parents died, his shitty uncle got custody and carted him off to Russia. Yeah, I’ve got some abandonment issues so I don’t date, but none of that is Bucky’s fault. He left without saying goodbye, but he didn’t have a choice. I only assumed that he was in Russia because that’s where his shitty uncle was from and I knew they left the country.”
“Yeah, but we were in St. Petersburg, so Uncle Shit-For-Brains would cart me off to Finland every once in a while.”
Steve stood up and turned around.
“You could have told me you were here,” said Steve.
“You were defending my honor, I wanted to hear the end of your little speech. Nice to know you learned how to use your words.”
“I can use my words.”
“Arnim Zola.”
“Okay, but that was-“
“Schmidt.”
“Bucky, he was a total-“
“Gil Hodges.”
“That was Peggy.”
“You kicked him while he was down.”
“Okay,” said Tony, “Bucky, I’m gonna need you to tell me everything he got up to when you guys were younger.”
Bucky slid into the booth next to Tony.
“Eighth grade, I took Stevie to Coney Island-“
“I hate all of you.”
“Hey, we didn’t do shit, Rogers!” cried Carol.
“Down, girl,” chuckled Maria.
Steve begun to regret his choices.
—
Sam didn’t know what he expected Bucky to be like around Steve, but something was fishy. They were too...chummy. Maybe the way they left things didn’t give either of them a chance to get over it properly. After all, it had probably been their first real relationship.
No one ends up with their first. That was what everyone had told Sam when he and Riley had started dating. When high school sweethearts do tie the knot they have nasty divorces and kids that end up needing a lot of therapy. Sam had never listened, but Riley had moved to the other side of the country and what were two fifteen year olds supposed to do but break up?
So yeah, maybe Sam was projecting a little. But he knew Steve, he even knew Bucky a little bit. He could tell that they wanted to get back together, but they were too scared to broach the subject with each other. Sam decided that he needed to take matters into his own hands. He pulled out his phone and called in backup.
birdman
Ladies, Tony, I need your help.
baby stark
I’m very busy
birdman
It’s about Steve and Bucky
baby stark
I can make time
avenger
sam are you concocting schemes again
because I fully support that
photon
it wasn’t just me? they do want to get back together?
birdman
well steve doesn’t really look at the rest of us with an ocean’s worth of pent up longing so I’m assuming so yeah
photon
funny boy. do you actually have a plan, wilson, because we need to bring our a-game for this
avenger
I say we lock them in a supply closet
birdman
no one needs to get locked in a supply closet, danvers, ease up.
avenger
in that case I am out of ideas and am unsure of my usefulness in this particular enterprise
—
Bucky knew he had to come clean to Natasha and Clint. He broached the subject back the apartment the three of them shared off campus.
“So...an old friend of mine wants to meet you guys.”
“I thought we were your old friends, James,” said Natasha.
“Older,” answered Bucky.
“Steve?” Clint gasped.
“Yes, OK, Steve. But, there’s something else.”
Bucky took a deep breath.
“All his friends think I’m his ex. Including Sam from history.”
“Bucky, what the fuck?” asked Clint.
“Well, what was I supposed to say?”
“No!” cried both of his roommates in unison.
“Well, I am not strong enough to resist the nervous blue eyes and earnest voice of Steve Rogers.”
“James, it’s obvious that you still like him. Has it ever occurred to you that his friends might try to get you back together?”
Natasha made air quotes around “back together.”
“Oh fuck. Carol and Maria invited me to go upstate with all of them this weekend to stay at Tony’s parents house.”
“Dude. You’re fucked,” said Clint.
—
Steve was sure he was shaking the car with how nervous he was. Tony was driving and oblivious, and Sam and Bucky were in the backseat trying to find something to talk about.
“So uh...how do you guys all know each other?” asked Bucky.
“Steve and Tony have the same English class, Carol and Maria are dating and they both know Tony from calc,” explained Sam.
And with that, Sam and Bucky had expended everything they had to talk about.
“Hey Rogers, put in that CD,” said Tony.
Steve dutifully popped in the CD that Tony had pointed at. In mere moments, he wished that he hadn’t.
He made it through Let’s Stay Together, I Won’t Give Up, Reunited, We Can Work It Out, and even Unbreak My Heart. Then, Steve wanted to crash the car. He recognized the opening immediately. He grunted.
“C’mon, Stevie, this is our song!” cried Bucky.
“Seriously?” asked Sam.
“We broke up!”
“IT WAS OUR SONG BEFORE WE WERE DATING COME ON MAN!”
Steve rolled his eyes but still sang along with Bucky as Sam groaned disapprovingly and Tony laughed his ass off.
“We’re no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I. A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of. You wouldn’t get this from any other guy. I just want to tell you how I’m feeling, gotta make you understand.”
Tony joined in on the chorus.
“NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP! NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN! NEVER GONNA RUN AROUND AND! DESERT YOU!”
—
Carol had her supply closet plan tucked away in the back of her mind just in case Tony’s patented “Getting Back Together” playlist failed. It was no surprise that they got to the house before the guys, given that they had left earlier and also probably didn’t make as many pit stops.
But that meant that Carol got a much deserved cuddle on a Rich Kid Sofa™️ with her girlfriend. Maria was tired after the drive up, and deserved it just as if not more than Carol did.
“So, you think they were ever actually together?” asked Maria.
Carol snorted.
“Nah. Too much tension, and not the right kind. Why do you think I suggested the supply closet thing?”
“Babe, that wont work. This is real life.”
“If you say so, Mar.”
Both of their phones buzzed with a message from Sam.
Tony rickrolled me and I am regretting all my life choices
“Do you think Tony and Sam know that they were never together?” asked Maria.
“Oh, no. They totally think that Steve and Bucky dated. They don’t know junior high gay angst like we do.”
“Few do.”
When the guys did arrive at the house, they looked worse than death. Steve and Bucky were each the shade of a tomato, Tony looked exasperated, and Sam looked like he had just killed someone.
“Alright,” said Tony, “gentlemen, lesbians, who wants to play a game?”
Carol did not think Never Have I Ever was much better than locking them in a supply closet, but whatever. She didn’t think it was going to work. After all, Tony was under the impression that Steve and Bucky were only lying to each other.
“Never have I ever,” began Maria, “kissed a boy.”
Everyone but Carol and Maria drank.
“Never have I ever lost to a blind guy at beer pong,” said Tony.
Everyone else except Steve and Bucky drank.
“Never have I ever lifted my ex’s number off of my roommate’s phone,” said Sam.
Steve and Tony drank.
“Fine, Sam, you wanna be like that? Never have I ever awoken from a nightmare screaming “stay back melon lord!””
Sam drank, then flipped Steve the bird.
“Never have I ever kissed a girl,” said Bucky.
Carol, Maria, and Tony drank.
“Never have I ever eaten a snail by accident,” said Carol.
Maria drank, then pinched Carol in the side.
“Never have I ever seen a dead body?” said Maria.
Carol and Sam started to protest while Steve, Bucky, and Tony drank.
“Let’s lighten this up, shall we?” asked Tony.
“Sorry,” said Maria.
Tony smirked.
“Never have I ever been in love.”
—
Steve had two choices. He could lie, and not drink, or he could drink, and admit to Bucky that he loved him. The decision was made for him given the fact that he was pretty drunk and his filter was non-existent.
Everyone drank.
“Wilson?” asked Tony.
“Yup,” said Sam, “was my boyfriend in high school. His name’s Riley.”
“And I don’t even have to ask for the rest of you hooligans?” continued Tony.
Carol and Maria answered by kissing while Steve scrambled for a possible answer that wouldn’t get him into hot water with Bucky or expose him to the others. Luckily, Bucky saved him, just like he always did.
“We were kids,” said Bucky, “who knows how we felt? But we’ll always love each other in some way and he’ll always be my first boyfriend. That okay, Stevie?”
“Yeah, Buck. That’s okay.”
Steve absolutely could not sleep that night. He stared wide eyed at the ceiling. He loved Bucky. It wasn’t a revelation of any kind but it still settled in the center of his chest like a sinking stone.
He sat up and shuffled out into the sitting room. Steve nearly shat himself when the lamp suddenly clicked on. And there sat Carol and Maria, smirking at him.
“What the fuck?” Steve whispered.
“Take a seat, Steve,” said Carol, “we need to talk.”
Steve sat down.
“We know,” said Maria.
“Um...you know what?”
Carol continued after Maria, and they traded words in that easy back and forth that a person couldn’t help but be jealous of.
“We know you’re in love with Bucky.”
“We know you have been for a long time.”
“And we know that you guys never actually dated.”
“Oh,” said Steve, “so you know everything.”
“Honestly, we’re offended that you thought you could fool us,” said Carol.
“The guys don’t know,” said Maria, “obviously. But they are trying to get you and Bucky back together, so you have two options here. You can tell Bucky the truth, or you can tell Tony and Sam the truth.”
“Can’t I just continue to suffer?” whined Steve.
“If you want,” said Carol.
“But we don’t think you do,” said Maria.
“You’re right, I don’t. But I love Bucky and I just got him back. I can’t screw that up by telling him how I feel. So I guess I’ll come clean about the nature of my relationship with him.”
—
Bucky didn’t sleep a wink. He couldn’t believe what he’d said, and in front of Steve. He was so upset with himself for even agreeing to come, he barely even knew these people.
But he knew Steve, and apparently had a pathological inability to deny him anything. He loved Steve, and Bucky had finally learned that there was nothing that could change that.
Bucky shuffled into the kitchen, surprised to find everyone else already up and eating breakfast.
“Morning, Buck,” said Steve.
“Dude,” said Sam, “you gave his nickname a nickname?”
Steve rolled his eyes. He looked towards Carol and Maria, who seemed to give him a conspiratorial glance.
“Look,” said Steve, “I have a confession to make. You’ve all been good friends to me in your own way. Sam, Tony, I lied to you both. Bucky and I never dated. I was embarrassed that I’d never dated anyone before, so I lied to Sam, but he knew Bucky, and everything got out of hand. I should have told the truth, and I’m sorry.”
The room was dead silent for exactly five seconds.
“I have a question,” said Sam.
“Me too,” said Tony.
Bucky was gobsmacked.
“Go on,” said Steve.
“So...why did you say Bucky’s name?” asked Sam.
“Closest thing to a date I had,” said Steve, “we used to go on practice dates.”
The entire table turned and looked at Bucky.
“So I’m not coming off great in this story so far,” sighed Bucky.
“Not so much,” said Carol.
“Bucky,” said Tony, “why in the hell did you agree to this?”
If only Tony had given Bucky a response period of more than 10 seconds, Bucky probably could have come up with something. But Bucky was sick of lying.
“Oh, because I was in love with him.”
Carol and Maria smiled. Tony and Sam looked at each other. Steve’s eyes were as wide as saucers.
“Still am, as a matter of fact.”
Steve stood up, tipping his chair over backwards. He walked over to Bucky and crossed his arms.
“Stand up, and look me in the eyes.”
Bucky did as Steve asked, gently pushing in his chair to buy himself more time. He looked Steve in the eyes. Steve didn’t look mad, but he was so intense. Bucky had never felt so helpless.
“I can tell when you’re lying,” said Steve, “I’ve always been able to tell.”
“Yes, you have. You know why? Because you know me. You know that I can’t stand the smell of pickles, I have a birthmark on my left asscheek, and that the scar on my forehead is not from a fistfight but from playing tag with you and Peggy. So that’s how you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I’m in love with you.”
Bucky saw the moment when it clicked. When Steve realized he was telling the truth. Steve grabbed onto Bucky’s shirt and pulled him down into a kiss. It was rough and awkward and everything Bucky had ever wanted. Steve pulled away, and lay his palms flat against Bucky’s chest, smoothing out the tshirt he had slept in.
“Wait a minute,” cried out Tony, “Carol and Maria KNEW?”
Sam put his head down on the table.
“Lesbians, what is your wisdom,” he sighed.
“World cold and hard, titty warm and soft,” said Maria.
Carol snorted.
“Girl hot. Watch Naruto.”