Just stay strong
Two days had been quiet since she'd decided to drag everyone into one room so that she could get the whole damn thing over and done with. When Liya had told her that she was afraid her mother was going to make her leave again she felt utterly terrible about it but there wasn't all that much she could do; Natasha was smart enough to know leaving was a bad idea. She could take care of herself if it were just her but it wasn't.
She had agreed - reluctantly - with Logan that she wouldn't run off and do anything herself because he didn't want her dead, he was right of course she was no use to her daughter if she was dead but that didn't stop her from hating the fact that she had to drag everyone else into all of this when it wasn't their fight or at least in her eyes it wasn't their fight.
She'd been reminded a few times that it was their fight too because they loved her and they loved her daughter. She was thankful for that in her own way even if she was frustrated by it all. She wished that shed didn't have to drag them into her mess but... Well, there wasn't really anything she could do about it.
She stared at the message in her hands though and she knew that she had to weigh up the risks here; he'd issued her an open challenge. Naturally, he was baiting her and she was smart enough to know that but that didn't make it any less irritating. She turned to look at James and she handed the note to him with a sigh as she shook her head. Her green eyes remained fixed on him as she watched him read it and his expression became angry.
She wasn't sure if it was because of the threat that was issued, because of the audacity of what he'd done, or if it was because she'd been forced into marrying him after they'd torn them apart. She supposed it was a mixture of the three. She knew how much he hated what they'd made her do after they'd torn the two of them apart.
"He's baiting me.," she stated with a roll of her eyes.
He already knew that though. He was trying to make like he could touch any part of her life that he wanted to because he'd found out about her child and he'd found her even when she'd managed to hide from her friends for years and while she was curious about how stopping him right now seemed like the priority. She could find out who was behind his knowledge after that was over. Stopping the immediate threat was her priority.
"So do we answer the challenge or do we leave it? Either way, it gives him more power. We answer it he gets what he wants, we don't he thinks we're afraid of him. There's no way in any of this where we come out on top." Not that she cared what he thought.
She knew he didn't either but that didn't make it any less annoying for either of them. He huffed out a sigh and rolled his eyes. She was right and he hated it. Either way, it'd seem like he was in control and that was something Bucky wasn't keen on abiding.
"I don't know," he sighed. "You're right, no matter what we do he wins."
"Unless he doesn't?" she replied thoughtfully. "What if I don't answer it but someone else does?"
He frowned at her and offered her a questioning look.
"What if we let someone else handle it?" She hated the idea but... "If he wants a fight he'll get it but maybe someone else being there will show him what he's up against?"
She was trying to be smart. She hated the idea but what more could she do? Logan had made her promise she'd be smart about this for Emiliya's sake. She couldn't very well go into something she knew was a trap. She'd just be putting herself in danger when she knew her little girl needed her. She knew her little girl needed her mother alive and she couldn't guarantee that if she answered his challenge.
"Send who?" Bucky questioned dubiously. "We'd be putting them in danger too."
"Tony, Carol, Laura, Logan... Anyone. Anyone but you or me," she sounded reluctant. "I hate the idea too but Logan was right: I'm no good to her if I'm dead or controlled by that bastard. He wins if he does that. He wins if he gets me where he wants me."
She gritted her teeth and balled her hands into fists. She was fighting against her own instincts and he knew it. It was her instinct to fight this alone. It was her instinct to do this her way but she had to be smart. She had to think about her child - their child - before she thought about her anger and before she let it win. It wasn't just about her anymore.
"That could work," he conceded with a sigh. "Carol and Steve. We should send Carol and Steve."
They were their best bets he was sure. They could keep Logan, Tony, and Laura on standby as a backup but Steve and Carol would be the best ones to assess the situation properly and prove to him that what he was up against wasn't worth whatever game he was playing. They were strong people. Powerful. They could more than handle themselves even if they both hated the idea of putting any of them in any danger at all.
"Okay," she sighed. "It's all we can do. I can't answer it and neither can you without him winning but..."
Maybe sending someone else in their stead would be just as bad as not showing up at all. He could consider it an act of cowardice not that she cared what he thought about her. He was baiting her and she'd throw him a message as to why that was a bad idea even if that message happened to be conveyed through her friends and not her. If he thought she was afraid of him that could work in her favor too though.
He walked toward her and pulled her into his arms. He knew how much she hated all of this. He could literally feel the tension in her body. She didn't want to put anyone else in a position to be hurt by this son of a bitch and he couldn't blame her but if she lost control he was still winning. If she lost control he'd get exactly what he wanted because her anger would make her reckless.
Her anger would put her in danger.
"We'll get him, I promise," he spoke softly. "He won't come out of this."
She looked up at him as she pulled back and she frowned. She could read his expression and she could tell that there was more to his words than he was letting on but he'd promised her no more lies. He'd promised her that no matter what, he'd be honest with her.
"Maybe it's better for us both to hold onto a little of who we were back then." He hated the idea of it as much as he hated saying it.
"What do you mean?" She had to ask. "Can we- Is that-?"
He leaned down to kiss her almost like he was trying to calm the both of them. "He wanted Natasha Romanov the mother. The Avenger. He thinks she's too weak to fight back but..." He drifted off.
"The Black Widow isn't," she finished for him.
He nodded.
"So we do what? Hold onto the darker sides of ourselves even for just a little while?"
"To save our daughter? Yeah. He wants to screw with her he gets the worst we can throw at him and we both know who we were is the one thing he won't know how to handle. He's never seen me as-" Bucky hated the idea and it was clear in his voice.
"The Winter Soldier. He's never seen The Winter Soldier." Bucky was right of course. "He hasn't seen us as the deadliest team in the world all he knows is the stories."
Legends. All he knew was the legends that remained when they were ripped from one another. They were the best of the best for a reason but that darkness was dangerous. That darkness opened up holes inside of the both of them that they risked never being able to close up again. It risked freeing monsters that weren't only dangerous to the world but for the two people that had tried to move on from being those people too.
"Okay," she nodded. "If he wants to play this game we'll give him the worst of it. Not the heroes, not the people that wanna save anyone but the people who'll destroy him because they were taught to neutralize a threat no matter what that took."
She'd told Clint she didn't want her son of a bitch ex-husband making it out of this anyway. This was one way of making sure that didn't happen.
"It isn't gonna be as simple as lining up a shot," she sighed. "I'm gonna have to make him exposed."
She shuddered then. She hated that idea more than she could begin to explain. It was one thing to send someone in as a show of force but it was another entirely to get someone exactly where you wanted them and that was something that she hated having to do and the one thing she'd sworn she'd never do again. She hated the idea of him touching her and she knew from the look on Bucky's face that he hated it too.
"I swear if I think it's going too far I'll step in even if I blow the whole damn thing," he warned. "I won't stand by and let him-"
He sounded jealous. She smirked and shook her head. "Jealous, handsome? That's cute."
The fact that he became immediately defensive made her laugh. He stepped noted her amusement and shook his head pulling her forward again and kissed her roughly before he studied her. Her eyes were wide and her heart was starting to race.
"Jealously implies you want what someone else has," he informed her before he kissed her again. "I'm not jealous of him."
Never.
"We aren't sending anyone else in are we?" She smirked as she spoke.
"Hell no," he shrugged. There was no way anyone else was fighting their battle for them. "He thinks I'm dead and that's why he's brave enough to do this shit now."
She'd already figured that out for herself. He'd have thought she'd never recovered from her grief and that she'd be too caught up in being a mother to be able to fight back or handle a threat like that and he was wrong, he was so very wrong. He'd never understood love, all he'd ever done was use people for his own benefit. He didn't know how caring for someone else could make you stronger.
It wasn't the weakness that she'd been taught it was. She hated him more than she hated any other living soul on this planet.
"He'll stay dead this time," Bucky vowed as he held to her hand. "I promise."
She certainly hoped so. More than anything else in the world she wanted to put an end to him simply because he'd thought he could torment her for a hell of a long time now, he'd been in and out of her life causing her nothing but misery and now he was threatening her child too. She hated the fact that he thought he could manipulate her even all these years later. She'd never forgiven him for what he'd done to her.
The very thought of it made her just as angry as it made him. She was glad - despite his 'efforts' - that she'd never had a child to him. The thought made her nauseous. She could think of no one worse to have a child with than him. She'd been nothing but property to him and she'd have hated to see what any child would've been.
He could tell something was going on with her, he could tell that she was going through more pain than she wanted to admit. He'd never asked her about his time with that son of a bitch because he knew she didn't like to talk about it and it was nothing but pain to her but... He hated the idea of anyone using her like that. She was his soulmate, he loved her and the thought of any goddamn person in this world hurting her was more than he could take.
The anger inside of him was equal to the anger inside of her... Or perhaps hers was worse. She'd been the one to endure it after all. He pulled her against him this time in a more gentle, protective manner and he held her there almost as though he never wanted to let her go.
"No one will ever hurt you like that again and he'll never get anywhere near our baby girl or you. Never again. What he did to you was something you should've never had to go through. I failed to save you once from him I won't do that again. I won't ever let him touch you again." He'd never ever let anything hurt her again.
Not ever. Not even for one second. They'd taken her away from him once and he'd failed to keep her safe he wouldn't ever let her down like that again. He wouldn't let anyone from that world ever hurt her again and he sure as hell wouldn't let anyone hurt their baby. He'd already let them both down too much already.
"I know you won't. I know you won't let anyone hurt either of us and I know that I just- what if I slip up? What if he's right and being a mother makes me weaker? What if I can't step up and do what needs to be done because I don't wanna risk losing it for her sake?" Naturally, Natasha was worried.
He simply smiled.
"You think I can't bring you back? You did it for me, you know there's no way in hell I'm gonna let you stay in the dark."
"And if we both fall?" It was an obvious question but she still had to ask it. "What do we do if we both fall, James? What if we both slip away?"
His smile didn't falter at all, instead, all he did was shake his head and hold to her hand reassuring her that he was there and that her fight was his too, she was not alone and she never would be again.
"We won't, we won't fall because we both know that her life is what we're fighting for out there, she'll hold us here, she'll stop us going too far over the edge." He knew that with absolute certainty.
Their baby was what they fought for now and their baby would be what they held out for when they were out there in the cold darkness of the world they'd both fought fiercely to escape. He knew that and he knew her, she wouldn't fall so easily into the dark when she knew the light that waited for them when they returned.
"We won't send anyone else in our place but we will have a backup, Natalia. We have to have a backup because what we fight for is too important. You asked those people for help and now we show them that we trust them. We fight fire with fire but we let them in, we have to."
He was right and she knew it, the idea of putting anyone in the firing line along with them but he was right: she'd asked for help and now she had to show the people she'd asked that she trusted them now the way she'd been unable to all those years ago.
She had to accept that she wasn't alone and she never had been, these people were her family and now when she fought for everything she loved, she'd let them fight by her side.