Abby didn't think about stuff like birthdays all that much - normal, casual things that normal people fussed about weren't really her style. The only reason she was able to do something as mundane as homework was because she was able to turn most of her assignments into arguments, and those were enjoyable.
Em helped Abby ground herself more, but birthdays had never really come up in conversation. She actually had completely forgotten about her own birthday until Em mentioned hers off-handedly one day.
"Any New Year's Eve plans?"
Abby thought about it for a moment, sewing needle carefully between her teeth as she groped around for the scissors on the side table. Em rolled her eyes and handed the scissors over without a word.
She cut the thread and took the needle out of her mouth. "Thanks. Uh, nothing concrete. Thought maybe we could watch the ball drop from a roof or something. Why?"
A smile bloomed on Em's face. "That sounds fun. I was just wondering, 'cause, y'know, most people go to a party or something."
"When have I ever been most people? I need to know so I don't do it again."
She laughed. "No, no, I just mean, like, I'm used to being kind of forgotten that day."
"I would never!" Abby gasped dramatically, throwing aside the glove she had been repairing to drape herself over Em in a manner that would belong in any 10-cent romance novel worth the title. "Em. Emily. Emilia. Emerald. Esmerelda."
"That's not even close -"
"I will never forget you. Cross my heart and - well, not hope to die, because we know how well that works for me, but, like, the intention is there, so -"
"Abby," Em rolled her eyes again as she shoved her off. "Take a chill pill. I meant that my birthday is December 31st, so I'm used to being overshadowed by New Year's celebrations."
"Wait, really?"
"Yeah? Why would I lie about that?"
"Good point. Your birthday is next week and you're telling me this now?"
Em raised an eyebrow. "You haven't told me when your birthday is, either."
"Uh," Abby paused, thinking about it for a moment. "December 1st."
"Your birthday was three weeks ago and you never said shit?!"
"I forgot?"
"How do you forget your own birthday?"
"IN MY DEFENSE -"
So. Em's birthday was coming up. And after she had pulled together an impromptu 'happy birthday you fucking idiot' for Abby, which included copious amounts of ice cream, she now needed to come up with something great for Em's birthday.
But. Well. Hm. The last time Abby had gotten something with the intent to give it to someone as a gift, she was... twelve? Thirteen, maybe? And it had been a small pack of Pokemon cards she bought at the dollar store for the little kid who had lived next door when he had broken his arm. And even then, the cards were to give him something to do other than complain and yell all day and basically give her a headache.
So her track record with presents was iffy at best.
She kicked her legs in the air, gazing out at the city from her perch on a crossbeam under a rooftop water tower. She loved it up here - a love Em had instilled in her. Even before she had become Deadpool, she hadn't been one to just stop and appreciate things, always focused on the next task, the next stop, the next goal. But being here, in New York, being best friends with Spider-Woman... it gave her a new appreciation for little things like views.
Technically, Em hadn't given Abby a birthday gift. They had gone out and gotten food and played rooftop tag for a while, but there hadn't been a physical box wrapped in paper. But she liked to think that Em's gift was more... encompassing. Em's gift to Abby was the way she was teaching her how to love and protect New York, how to be a superhero, how to be a friend.
What could Abby possibly give her that would ever even come close to that?
A siren wailed in the distance and Abby smiled as she saw a distant red-clad figure spring into action several blocks away. Even though there would be reports tomorrow that Spider-Woman probably caused all the trouble in the first place, as there always were, she still always helped. Not enough people seemed to appreciate that -
A large grin slowly curled across Abby's face as an idea started to form.
She needed to make a couple of calls.
TO: Robby bobby bo bobby
hey do you know of any good hackers in nyc?
TO: Abby
hello! wow it's been ages since i've heard from you, i thought you were dead!
TO: Robby bobby bo bobby
hi. i'm fine. hackers? nyc?
TO: Abby
maybe? what do you need? why are you in nyc?
TO: Abby
OMG HAVE YOU SEEN SPIDER-WOMAN? IS SHE JUST AS COOL IRL???
TO: Robby bobby bo bobby
calm thy tits, dorklord. top secret for now, you'll hear about it soon.
TO: Abby
I have a couple of people I can check with but pls!!!! Tell me about Spider-Woman!!!!!!
TO: Robby bobby bo bobby
idk, she swings around and punches idiots isn't that enough
TO: Abby
if you ever see her please tell her that i love her in like. a non-weird or stalkery way.
TO: Robby bobby bo bobby
yeah idk how to get that sentiment across to a stranger who could punt me through a wall my man
TO: Abby
Well. I mean. Yeah thats fair.
TO: Abby
just send a picture then if you ever get the chance
TO: Robby bobby bo bobby
sure. about those hackers...?
TO: Abby
right, let me just forward their contact information to you
On December 31st, Abby woke up early (which honestly should count as a gift in its own right) and bought some donuts and coffee. Em had been spending more and more time at her apartment instead of the dorms, both for the quiet and the company, and so was still asleep on the couch when Abby got back.
Step One: Bomb-Ass Breakfast - Complete.
The smell of coffee got her up pretty soon, though. And she appreciated the birthday card Abby handed to her - though not without double-checking (teasingly, at least, Abby hoped it was teasingly) that the red ink Abby had used to sign it was from a red pen, and some poor bastard's blood.
"Anything you want to do today?"
"Well, I've got some errands to -"
"No, no, no no no," she interrupted. "Not what you need to do. What you want to do. It's your birthday! Live a little!"
Em blinked. "Um."
Abby snorted. "Do you want to go ice skating, sledding, or to a movie?"
"...sledding?"
"Perfect, let's go!"
"You demolished that child."
"I did not!"
"You did!" Abby was cackling as they bought hot chocolate later that day. "She went head-over-heels, I saw the whole thing!"
"It was an accident!" Em's cheeks were red, but she was smiling despite herself.
"I thought you, of all people, would be able to avoid an obstacle as big as a whole-ass child while sledding."
"I caught her, at least," she defended.
"Yeah, and she had the best New Year's Eve ever. She thought it was a move," Abby wheezed and wiped an actual tear off her face. "Oh my god, I think you just created the next Olympic snowboarder. On accident, while sledding in Central Park. Only you, I swear."
"I outta get a share of the gold medal when she wins in fifteen years, then."
Abby laughed harder, and Em finally couldn't help herself from joining in.
Step Two: Dope Day Out - Complete (with, thankfully, no injuries to anyone).
"You still want to go watch the ball drop?"
Em hummed and checked the time. After returning from Central Park, they had been vegging out on the sofa, watching YouTube and eating pizza. "Yeah, why not?"
"Suit up, then!" Abby grinned, rolling over the back of the couch instead of getting off of it like a respectable person.
It was an easy rhythm they fell into, traversing the city. Em used higher, slower arcs, not worrying about speed as Abby ran, rolled, and leaped from roof to roof. As they got closer to Times Square, there were more and more civilians on rooftops, celebrating another year gone by and shouting greetings or just whoops of joy as they watched the heroes go by.
"Over here!"
Em swung over obligingly, dropping into place next to Abby on the ledge of a building. There were people on the roof above them, and on the street below, but they were alone on this little overhang overlooking Times Square.
"Nice," she said, surveying the view.
"I try," Abby grinned. "Hey, do me a favor?"
"What's that?"
"Keep an eye on the screens." Abby pulled out her phone, glancing over to see that Em was watching her bemusedly instead of the screens that ringed Times Square. "Not me, the screens, Spidey!" She laughed and gestured at the raucous party going on around them.
"Okay, okay," Em laughed. "Eyes on the screens, got it."
Once she was sure that Em was, in fact, paying attention to the screens, Abby looked back at her phone.
TO: [BLOCKED NUMBER]
now!
"What the -!"
Abby looked up, surveying her work proudly as Em gasped.
All of the screens in Times Square were displaying the same thing - a background based off of her suit, and large text that cycled through various colors that read "HAPPY BIRTHDAY SPIDER-WOMAN!"
Laughter, cheering, and shouts of 'happy birthday!' filled the air as the crowed reacted to the message. Someone spotted them on their ledge, and a spotlight hit them, sending more cheers and shouts of good wishes from the crowd.
"Not so forgotten now, huh?" Abby said, slinging an arm around Em's shoulder.
"You did all this?"
"Well, I paid someone else to do the hacking, but it was my idea," she laughed. "Happy birthday, Spidey."
Em laughed, waving at the crowd, and swayed to knock her shoulder into Abby. "Thanks, 'Pool."