Steve x reader x Bruce x Tony
Mentions of depression, anxiety, poor self image and insomnia. I
The four of you had all had some shitty things happen in your lives. Though you all liked to pretend to the world they either never happened or you were over them entirely, you couldn’t fool each other.
Though Tony projected the image of billionaire, genius, playboy, philanthropist to the world only the three of you saw the man at his worst. He the man who drank more than what should be possible and the man who was afraid to sleep.
Steve was the symbol of America, confident and strong but only the three of you knew how he really felt. Steve still saw himself as the sickly, scrawny, boy he used to be. He didn’t see himself as confident, he saw himself as the man who came out of a bottle.
Most days you were fine. You could smile and laugh and make everyone believe you were fine, but not your boys. Only the three of them knew how bad your bad days could get and only they knew how the depression weighed on you.
Bruce was the last of your quartet. To the rest of the world, he was quiet not exactly shy just quiet. He was quiet until he turned into his green counterpart and then all he wanted was quiet. Bruce was so fearful of turning into the Hulk, he was plagued by terrible anxiety.
The world simply didn’t see what you all saw.
“None for me thanks, darling.“ Bruce said, denying your offered drink. You nodded in acknowledgement and took a seat next to him.
Earlier that night the four of you had all attended a party Tony had thrown. His reasoning was that he felt like one and the three of you only nodded at his words. The party had run long into the night until Tony kicked the guests out at around two hours ago.
Though it was incredibly early in the morning, none of the four of you were tired. Instead you contended yourselves with sitting up, drinking and talking.
“You know what I would kill for at the moment?” Steve asked, tipsy after a few sips of Thor’s mead. “A burger.” He said, making you giggle.
“What from McDonald’s?” You asked, finishing your drink.
“No, no from that other place.“ Steve said, waving a hand at the mention of the restaurant.
“From that place where they put a knife through the middle?” Bruce asked, smiling at the blonde.
“Yes.” Steve groaned, pointing at Bruce with a grin. “We haven’t been there in months.” He whined, laying his head on Tony’s shoulder.
“I had one from there last night.” Tony casually mentioned, placing his glass on the table so he could run his fingers through Steve’s blonde locks.
“I thought we had Chinese last night?” You questioned confusedly. Bruce kissed you on the cheek and pulled you into his side.
“We did.” Bruce responded before turning to Tony who was drunker than the rest of you. “When did you have one of their burgers, Tony?”
“Last night.” He repeated. “Sometime around 3 or 4. Happy got it for me. Happy’s such a nice guy.”
“I thought you were in bed at 3 or 4.” Steve said, sounding less tipsy than he had minutes ago. The three of you were now paying much more attention to the drunk brunette.
“No, I was in the labs, but don’t tell Y/N, Steve, or Brucie.” Tony said, raising a finger to his lips and shushing loudly.
“Okay we won’t tell them.” You promised, humouring the man. “But why shouldn’t we tell them?” You asked.
“Because they’ll be disappointed in me.” Tony whined, getting a sad look. “They all think I’m getting better and sleeping more but I’m not.”
“Why do you think they’d be disappointed in you?” Bruce asked, looking at the brunette in concern. “Wouldn’t they be more concerned by the fact that you’re not sleeping?”
“I don’t know.” Tony shrugged, grabbing his empty glass and trying to drink from it. “But one has an awkward conversation and the other doesn’t.”
“Can I ask why you’re not sleeping?” Steve asked with only a slight slur attached to his voice.
“Because I’m scared that they’re going to die.” Tony murmured. “Did you know we’re all superheros? We are, and its fun most of the time. We save the world all the time and I get to see Y/N and Steve in those tight uniforms and I get to see Brucie naked when he turns back, but it’s so dangerous.
Steve’s an idiot and always runs into danger, Bruce is always so panicky and Y/N always jumps in front of the danger because she cares too much. I don’t want to watch them die. I couldn’t go through life without them. It’s all I can see in my dreams.” Tony said, leaning his head back on the couch. “I’m so tired.”
“Go to sleep Tony.” You said, standing from the couch and sitting next to the man. Bruce also stood and sat on the coffee table. Tony didn’t respond as he quickly drifted off.
The three of you waited a couple minutes before you and Bruce helped Steve drag Tony to your bedroom.
“You know we’re going to have to talk to him about this when he wakes up.” Steve mentioned as you all changed.
“That’s fine. He’ll probably sleep for another twelve hours so we have time.” You said, crawling in next to Tony with Bruce behind you.
“He’ll be fine.” Bruce assured the blonde. “We’ll make sure of it.” He added and with that the three of you joined Tony in slumber.
“Have you seen Steve today, Y/N?” Bucky asked as the two of you were in the gym. Turning away from the punching bags you shook your head at the long-haired man.
“He had to leave early this morning. He had a run with Sam at five and then at seven he was in due in at the BuzzFeed studios.” You told him.
“BuzzFeed? Is this another PR thing? Do we all have to do more PR again?” He groaned. You couldn’t blame him, and PR was probably the only downside to being a part of this team.
“No, Buck, relax. It’s not that PR thing. They want to talk to Steve about what made him chose to be Captain America for the fourth of July.” You said, making Bucky sigh in relief. “But he should have been back by now.” You added upon seeing the time.
“Maybe he’s waiting for you on your floor.” Bucky suggested as you chewed on your bottom lip in worry. “Go see if he’s up there, Y/N.” Bucky chuckled, seeing you glance at the door. “We’ll finish this another time.“
“Thanks Buck.” You said, grabbing your bag and running out of the gym. You quickly made your way back up to your floor and threw your bag into the corner. “Steve?” You called out. You knew he was home, his shoes were by the door, but you couldn’t see him.
“In here, doll.” Steve called quietly from the bathroom. You quickly moved into the bathroom and where about to happily greet your partner when you saw the shattered mirror and his bleeding knuckles.
“Steve, what did you do?” You questioned, rushing towards him. Steve didn’t say anything as you sat him down on the edge of the bathtub. He didn’t do anything as you grabbed the first aid kit and began cleaning and dressing his knuckles.
As Steve continued to stare blankly into the distance your worry grew. Stepping out of the bathroom, you closed the door as you pulled out your phone.
“Hello darling.” Bruce greeted as he answered your call.
“Please tell me you and Tony aren’t busy at the moment?” You begged, shifting anxiously.
“We’re not busy.” Bruce confirmed. “What’s wrong darling?” Bruce asked.
“Something’s wrong with Stevie.” You said, glancing at the bathroom door worriedly. “I found him in the bathroom with the mirror broken and his knuckles bloody. I fixed his wounds but he hasn’t said a word. He hasn’t moved. Bruce, I’m really worried.”
“Calm down, darling.” Bruce calmly told you. “We’re on our way up, we’ll be there in a minute. Just watch Steve for a minute and we’ll be there to help.”
“OK. I can do that.” You said, letting out a breath. Bruce assured you they would be there in a minute again before you hung up and moved back into the bathroom. Steve still sat on the edge of the tub, his head in his hands. “Stevie, can you please talk to me?” You begged, kneeling in front of him.
“They’re right.” Steve croaked. “Everything I’ve ever done is because of the serum. Without that serum I was just some sick kid from Brooklyn. Some sick, skinny, kid no one cared about.”
“Who told you that, Stevie?” Tony asked, suddenly coming into the room. “Was it those assholes from Buzzfeed? I’ll make them regret it.” He promised, kneeling next to you.
“What does it matter?” Steve asked, looking up at the three of you. “They’re right. No one cared about me until Howard gave me that serum. Hell, I didn’t like me before I was given that serum.”
“That serum didn’t make you who you are. You’ve always been you.” Bruce said, sitting on the tub next to him.
“You’ve always been brave; kind and you’ve always thought of the little guy.” You continued for the scientist.
“None of us care what you look like. We love you for the person you are.” Tony said, nodding. “Whatever those assholes said, it doesn’t matter because you never have to see them again.”
“They don’t even know you.” You finished. The three of you sat around Steve waiting for him to raise his head from his hands. When he finally did the three of you lead the blonde to the bedroom and pushed him gently onto the bed.
The four of you laid together in the large bed simply holding onto Steve and assuring him you loved him for who he was and not his body. Soon the four of you drifted off, Steve in the middle of you all and you each holding onto him.
You had suffered with a rather severe depression for most of your adolescent years. As you entered your adult years, the depression remained but became more manageable until you finally were officially diagnosed and given a prescription.
The prescription you were given allowed you to feel good again. It made you feel alive again. Of course, the prescription didn’t fix all your problems. You still had bad days, and your boys knew this, but with the three of them they always managed to pull you out of the hole.
“Hey sleepyhead.” Bruce said, sitting next you on the bed. “It’s nearly twelve.” He added as you continued to lie there.
“Where are Steve and Tony?” You mumbled.
“Steve had a meeting and Tony had to meet Pepper over some paperwork.” Bruce told you. “So, it’s just you and me for now. Do you feel like something to eat?”
“Yes please.” You said quietly, not really feeling the want to eat.
“OK, I’ll be right back.” He said and kissed your forehead before moving out of the room. You didn’t move after he left, you didn’t have the energy to, you just continued to lay there and stare at the wall.
Of course, Steve and Tony would be gone, you thought. They’d finally wised up and left you. It was only a matter of time before Bruce left too. Why wouldn’t he? You were such a waste of time, if you were him, you’d leave too.
“Honey,” Bruce started, coming back into the bedroom. “You haven’t taken your pills this week, have you?” He asked softly, shaking the bottle in his hands.
“What’s the point?” You said, curling further into your pillow. “They don’t work anyway.“ You added, closing your eyes.
"They only don’t work when you don’t take them.” Bruce said, the bed dipping as he sat next to you. “Why haven’t you been taking them?” He asked.
“Because I don’t deserve to be happy.” You said. You could feel the tears dripping down your face, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.
“Oh darling.” Bruce cooed, wiping the tears off your cheeks. “You deserve all the happiness in the world. You deserve to feel happy, to smile, to laugh and to feel love. Whoever tells you otherwise is the liar.” He said, brushing hair off your face.
“But what if it’s all true?” You asked the scientist, finally opening your eyes. “What if I’m not the person everyone thinks I am and I’m just taking up oxygen someone better and more deserving could be using?”
“Darling, you deserve to be as much as anyone else. You are so brave and smart and strong. You deserve to be here with us.” Bruce said, laying down and holding you in arms.
Bruce held you tightly as you began to sob. You felt so conflicted as to what you should feel but Bruce wasn’t conflicted. He knew what you needed at the moment.
"Just go back to sleep.” Bruce said, running his fingers through your hair. You were already gone.
When you next opened your eyes, you were alone. Your head didn’t feel as heavy as it had before but it still felt as if it were encased in concrete.
A large part of felt disappointed as you awoke alone. You knew Bruce wouldn’t stay, no one ever stayed. Before your thoughts could drift further into that dark place, the bedroom door opened.
“There she is.” Steve said, moving over to the bed. “How are you feeling, doll?” He asked, trailing his fingers down your arm.
“Heavy.” You stated, staring up blankly at him. “I thought you’d left.”
“I’m not going anywhere, doll.” Steve said as the door opened again revealing Tony and Bruce. Tony’s arms were weighed down by bags of take out and Bruce held a tower of blankets and pillows.
“There’s my favourite girl.” Tony greeted, placing the food on the bedside.
“I thought you had an important meeting?” You questioned, a feeling of guilt coursed through you.
“Nothing’s more important than the three of you.” Tony told you, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “When Brucie-Bear called and said that you needed us, we rushed back here. We love you sweetheart.” He added, climbing in next to you as Bruce added more blankets to the bed.
For the rest of the day the four of you laid together in the warmth of your bed, eating the comforting food Tony had brought for the four of you. Though you still didn’t feel like your normal self with your boys surrounding you, you were on your way there.
Out of the four of you, Bruce was the quietest. He was much more reserved than the rest of you and preferred not to be in the spotlight.
He worked incredibly hard to keep his heart rate low and to not be in situations where his other side would come out. Though the three of you could easily handle Hulk, although you didn’t need to worry because the green man adored the three of you, Bruce tried to ensure you didn’t have to deal with him.
He meditated whenever he had a chance, constantly burned herbs like lavender, drank teas that promoted calmness and tried his hardest to stay away from situations that would raise his heart rate.
Unfortunately for him, it was his turn to deal with PR. He hated PR with a passion. They were all the same in his opinion, it didn’t matter who he was doing PR for they all asked the same inane questions and spoke to him in the same tone.
Because of the need to get the public on the Avengers side, he had to do it and there was no getting out of it. The three of you knew perfectly well how Bruce felt when it came to these interviews, you’d all decided to join him at the studios.
“Are you sure I have to do this?” Bruce asked, pacing the length of the small room. “I can’t just ask someone else to do this?"
"They wanted you, Bruce.” Steve said. The two of you were both sitting on the small couch provided with Tony leaning on the edge.
“God why did agree to this? I could be at home, in the lab, or in bed, or anywhere but here.” Bruce stressed, running his fingers through his curls.
“Honey, breathe.” You said, standing from the couch and grabbed his hands in yours. “You’re fine. It doesn’t matter what they ask you, all you have to do is answer their questions as simply as you can.”
“But what if they ask something I can’t answer?” Bruce asked, squeezing your hands tightly.
“We’ve already pre-approved the questions.” Tony said, coming to stand next to you two. “They are not going to ask you anything you’re not comfortable with.”
“And if you want to leave the interview at any time, we will be in the room and all you need to do is say the word and we’ll take you home.” Steve added, coming over to the three of you and handing Bruce a travel mug filled with the tea you’d made earlier.
Bruce inhaled deeply and his shoulders relaxed instantly.
“Did I ever tell you how lucky I am to have you three?” Bruce asked before taking a long sip of the tea.
The three of you moved Bruce over to the couch and somehow managed to squeeze all four of you onto the piece of furniture. Bruce ensured that he was touching the three of you in some way as he took comfort in the three of you.
There were things only the four of you saw. Things you didn’t let the world see because they didn’t need to know. Things only the four of you felt comfortable sharing with each other.