Chapter 3
Dear Logan,
You know that time (okay, probably like a hundred times) I said you were the most disgusting person ever?
I take it back. Like, sure, you could shower more, but at least you never left your whole entire skin on the floor. Who even does that?
I’ll tell you who: Paige Guthrie, teenage mutant overachiever and roommate to yours truly. She’s from Alabama or Tennessee or something--total Deliverance country--and she makes Kitty look like a party animal. Her big brother was leader of the New Mutants, and Paigey-poo is determined to follow in his footsteps, which mostly means she sucks up to the teachers and tries to boss everyone around. She also wakes me up at 5 AM reciting stupid affirmations before she runs 30 miles and volunteers at a puppy orphanage or some junk like that.
So, like, you’d think Paige Perfect would know how to pick up after herself, right? PSYCH! She leaves her stuff everywhere. But that’s not the worst part, because Paige has the most mondo super extra gross power of all time: she peels off her entire skin. It wouldn’t be so bad if she ever picked up after herself, but she just leaves them lying wherever. Yesterday I found one in my laundry. Which I had JUST washed.
I know you’re doing the lone wolf thing and I’m taking a break from all that superhero jazz, but if you need a sidekick, like, let me know. It can’t be worse than this.
Jubes