Love is pain
“Pepper? Have you seen my computer?” Tony asked her while he walked through the house, carrying Peter on his side that was covered in chocolate and his computer charger in his other hand.
“I’m on the phone, Tony.” Pepper covered the speaker and locked herself in the office, leaving Tony clueless.
It had been a full week since they moved into the house and everything was going on smoothly with them adjusting and finishing up mini projects around the house, such as Peter’s bedroom which was now fully completed but Peter has yet to spend a night in there yet.
Although now, there was a tiny bump in the road.
Actually, it was a rather huge bump in the road and Tony was pissed. As well as stressed out. He didn’t think that this could have come at a worse time and it was beyond frustrating.
There was a major computer system problem going on at Stark Industries that was requiring Pepper to fly down to New York for five days to handle it there. It had to happen after they just moved to Malibu from New York.
Awful timing.
It also didn’t help that Peter was developing a healthy and much needed routine with the two of them there. Pepper having to leave so suddenly would mess up everything. Tony knew it was bound to happen at some point but he didn’t know it would be so soon. They were just getting settled.
Peter started to slip out of his arms so Tony placed the toddler on the floor and watched him run off in the other direction with a diaper that hadn’t been changed since he woke up, Tony was pretty sure.
He walked into the living room and found his computer so he set it up and plugged it in. He had gotten in contact with Peter’s best friend Ned which took about thirty seconds to do.
Apparently, before May went away, she had told Ned that something happened to Peter so he went to go stay with Mr. Stark for a little while but after weeks of no word from his best friend, Ned had gone to the apartment and May told him that Peter had gotten de-aged into a baby.
Since then, the poor child had been trying to get in contact with Peter’s aunt to try and talk to Peter but May had blocked Ned and never answered the door for him so Ned gave up.
Tony felt bad.
If he wasn’t so busy with Peter and everything else going on, he would have made a better effort to contact Ned sooner so he could see Peter but to be completely honest, it did not cross his mind.
It was weird to think of actually. Ned was going to grow up with a whole new set of friends, find a wife and get married. Have babies all while Peter is going to be in elementary school. Unless Ned chooses to wait longer which was totally okay, it’s what Tony did and he loved his life now. Although he wasn’t married…
Even something as simple as Ned getting a girlfriend, he won’t be able to talk to Peter about it. That was so weird.
And Peter too. Peter was going to grow up with a whole new best friend. Tony couldn’t help smile at that. He was going to know all of Peter’s friends this time around.
Thinking of Peter… Tony looked over and saw Peter trying to climb onto the tv stand so Tony stood up to pick him up. “Uh Uh. Let’s go get your face washed and your bum changed so we can call Ned. Are you excited?”
Peter ignored Tony’s question and reached out for a picture frame that was on the wall they were passing by so Tony had to straighten it out before continuing into Peter’s bedroom.
He grabbed a baby wipe to wipe Peter’s face and hands and then pushed him down on the change table, making quick work of changing him and dressing him in a white short sleeved bodysuit with a blue star on it. He tried to comb Peter’s hair back to him to make him look more presentable for the video chat with Ned but he liked Peter better with messy curls so he messed them up.
“I wan’ ‘tat.” Peter pointed to the stuffed animal on the ground so Tony picked him off the changing table and set Peter on his feet so he could grab his toy but instead of following him out right after, Peter sat down to play with his toy.
“Come, Pete. We have a date with your friend.” Tony walked over to the toddler and grabbed his hand so Peter would walk downstairs with him but Peter fell onto his knees, refusing to walk. “Am I carrying you then?”
With the option to be carried, Peter was raising his arms up to his daddy so Tony picked him up, set him on his hip and walked down to the living room to give Ned a call.
He didn’t know how the conversation would go. He had no idea if Peter even remembered his old best friend or if it would be like talking to a stranger for the two year old. Maybe it would be too much for Ned to handle and he would freak out and possibly scare Peter.
Tony didn’t know how the FaceTime call was going to go but either way, it was long overdue and that was all on Tony. Actually, he will take 70% of the credit. A lot of it was on May as well for not calling him about Peter’s teenage best friend while he was still in New York.
That way they could have at least said goodbye in person but of course May messed up yet another thing.
Tony got the computer set up on the coffee table and plugged it in while Peter stood by his legs, balancing himself on Tony’s pant leg. Once Peter saw Tony plugging in the cord, he let go of his stuffed toy and made a wobbly run for it to tug on it, pulling it out of the computer.
“No, Pete. That has to stay in because it’s charging.” Tony pulled Peter by the arm and plugged the cord back into the charging slot.
He picked Peter up to sit him on the couch but Peter was sliding off and waddling over to the plug again so Tony picked up the curious toddler to sit him on his lap, bouncing his leg to keep Peter entertained while he typed in Ned’s number and waited for him to pick up.
“Dada ‘gin.” Peter told Tony when he stopped bouncing his leg so Tony continued it which got Peter giggling like crazy. His laughing was music to Tony’s ears, he loved it so much.
There was just something about Peter’s laugh that could brighten up his mood no matter what.
Soon after Tony called, Ned was answering the FaceTime call and his face was appearing on the computer screen. “Oh my god! Mr. Stark. First, I just want to say what a huge fan I am of you. I mean, Peter was- is a huge fan too but so am I and I just… I can’t believe this is really happening. I’m on FaceTime with Tony Stark!”
Tony smiled at the teen. He remembered when Peter used to be nervous and excited around him. Now he was wiping the kids butt and not even getting a thanks on return.
“It’s nice to finally meet you, kid. Even if it’s through a video camera.” Tony looked down at Peter who was sucking on his thumb off screen and staring at Ned’s face. “So, I know you may have a lot of questions so I’m gonna answer them the best I can, although a lot of it is really confusing.”
Ned eagerly nodded his head. “Alright. Yeah, I get that. Uh, May didn’t tell me much. She wasn’t all that, you know, nice at the um, before she went away.”
Tony hated that woman. “I know, buddy. Well, a couple months back, Peter got de-aged and I’ve been taking care of him since. He’s two years old and I don’t think he is in his teenage mindset anymore but it’s really hard to say.” Tony paused to wait for Ned’s reaction but he was nodding his head with a straight face.
Tony continued. “So, about a week ago, Pepper, Pete and I moved to Malibu to raise him here. Together. I know-I know that’s hard to hear, especially how close you two were, I know but Pepper and I made this decision together and who knows, maybe one day you can fly out here for a few days and babysit him.”
Ned’s face was breaking into a huge smile. “Yes. Yes please although… I don’t actually know how to change diapers.”
Tony chuckled. That was him in the very beginning and Peter didn’t exactly make it easy for him to practice on with all the squirming and lifting his legs up in awkward angles. “That’s okay. I can do that.”
Ned stared at him for a few seconds. “Can I um, can I see him? Can I see Peter?”
Tony was already reaching for Peter off screen. “Of course. Come, Petey. Look who wants to say hi to you. Do you remember Ned?” Tony picked Peter up and sat him on his knee for Ned to see him.
He watched the teens eyes widen beyond disbelief and Tony didn’t blame him. He himself had recently gotten over the initial shock that came with Peter now being a toddler. It took awhile and he still found himself thinking of teen Peter and what could have been but now it was what will be just… years from now.
“Peter? Hi. Um, do you know who I am?” Ned asked, eyes not leaving Peter’s chubby face and body that could be seen on the camera. “He’s so… fat.”
Tony bursted out laughing before quickly regaining his composure. He held Peter up so Ned could get a better look at the toddler. “It’s baby chubs, Ned. Baby chubs.”
Ned nodded, still trying to believe what he was seeing. It was crazy. Just a few months ago he was playing video games with teen Peter and having sleepovers and now he was looking at Peter who was smaller and wearing a diaper. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
Peter took his thumb out of his mouth to start whining at the position Tony was holding him in so Tony sat him back down on his lap. “Say hi, Petey. Don’t be shy.”
“That’s okay, Mr. Stark. He probably doesn’t um, remember me and… and I know Peter can. E shy when he doesn’t know someone.” Ned said but Tony could hear the sadness in the boy's voice. He felt bad for him. His best friend was gone, Peter was his best friend and even though he was here, he was still gone to Ned.
“No, he’s just observing you. I think he remembers. Talk to him.” Tony sat Peter on his knee so the boy could continue to talk to the toddler and Peter was surprisingly staying still with his thumb back in his mouth.
“Um, okay, um, well… after um, after you left, I put The Razor Crest lego set that we were working on up on my shelf because I didn’t know where you were and I was super worried for you but after I found out that you were okay and living with Mr. Stark, I felt a lot better but… I still never built it so-so maybe we can build it one day.” Ned sounded sad and happy at the same time. Tony didn’t know him enough to be able to tell what the teen was feeling by reading his facial expressions.
Peter took his thumb out of his mouth and whined to be placed on the floor so Tony stood him on the floor, between his legs so Peter couldn’t run away but instead of running, he smacked his hands excitedly on the table and screamed.
“Oh no. I’m sorry. Did I say something wrong?” The teen started freaking out so Tony immediately shut that thought down.
“No. Not at all, he’s just excited.” Tony said to Ned and leaned down to be closer to Peter’s face. “Hey, bud, what do you say about hanging out with Ned one day?”
Peter turned to look at him. “And daddy. Dada, ‘dare!”
Peter pointed off screen towards something on the wall but Tony didn’t know what he was pointing at. “Look at Ned, Pete. He’s talking to you.”
The toddler looked at Ned’s face through the screen and grinned. To both of their surprises, Peter pointed at the teen. “Ned! ‘Tat ‘o.”
Tony was so happy for the teens sake. He could tell it was really hard for Ned having to lose his best friend but not actually lose him. It was weird. “Yeah, Pete. Why don’t you tell Ned about what we did yesterday.”
Peter looked around the room and started playing with one of the keys on the computer so Tony moved his hands away and tried asking again. “What did we do yesterday?”
The two year olds face lit up and he gasped excitedly. “‘O mon’ey. And ‘o in ‘dare room! ‘Den- ‘den over the… at pa’k.”
Ned was smiling at Peter but he couldn’t understand anything he was saying. Tony on the other hand understood what Peter was saying, having gotten used to the baby talk but it still didn’t make any sense. They didn’t go to the park and see any monkeys so he had no idea what Peter was saying.
“Wow, Peter. Can you tell Ned about our plane flight over here?” Tony asked and Peter excitedly nodded his head again.
As he spoke, like last time, he wasn’t even looking at Ned. He was looking at nowhere in particular but at everything all at once. “Dada, in ‘da-‘da p’ane! And…” Peter trailed off and turned to Tony with a huge smile on his face. He started dancing on the spot then threw his head onto Tony’s knee, biting him through his pants. “I see ‘o!”
Tony loved his boy so much. So much. “You’re so cute, Petey.” He turned Peter around again to face Ned as Peter started making babbling noises. “Can you tell Ned how old you are?”
Peter started jumping up and down in his random burst of excitement.
“Are you… are you one years old?” Tony asked him to get Peter started.
“No!” Peter screamed excitedly but this time he was looking at Ned.
“Are you two years old?”
“No!” The toddler screamed yet again but Tony knew he wasn’t even paying attention to the options anymore. There wasn’t much to choose from anyways.
“Are you three?” Tony asked and Peter went to yell no but then started nodding his head. “You are?” Tony asked him in mock disbelief.
“I-no! I one.” Peter turned around to face Tony. He shoved his face back on his leg and started to bite on the material, leaving a wet spot in the process.
“You’re not one.”
“I one.” Peter told him, matter of fact.
“You’re two.” He corrected the toddler.
“I two.” Peter copied his daddy by holding up two fingers like him then turning around to show Ned his fingers and repeating himself. “I two! ‘O one.”
“He’s not one, baby. He’s fifteen.” Tony said and it sounded so weird saying out loud. Woah, Peter used to be fifteen. A whole thirteen years older but now… younger. Wow.
Peter nodded his head and stared at Ned for a few more seconds before he turned back to look at Tony. He saw his pacifier on the couch so he made grabby hands for that and started whining until Tony grabbed it and placed it in his mouth.
With a content few sucks, Peter turned back around to look at Ned before he started banging on the keyboard and that told Tony that they were done with the FaceTime call now. He was just glad that Ned got to see his friend.
“Well, Ned, it was nice talking to you, buddy, but we’re gonna say bye now.” Tony said to the teen who had the same facial expression on his face for the whole call practically.
“Oh. Yeah, alright. I’ll um, I’ll maybe talk to you soon?” Ned asked which sounded a bit desperate.
Tony gave the boy a genuine smile. “Of course. One day soon we will plan for you to see Peter in person.”
At that, Ned’s eyes lit up. “Really?! Yes! Okay. That sounds good. Thank you, Mr. Stark.”
“Of course. Say bye bye, Peter.” Tony grabbed Peter’s arm to force him to say bye to Ned but Peter thought he had to say goodbye to his daddy so he started crying and trying to reach up for Tony desperately. “Not me, Petey. I’m not going anywhere.”
Tony picked up the pacifier that had fallen out of Peter’s mouth and he put it on the table before picking his toddler up and placing him on his knee. “Say bye bye to Ned.”
Peter rubbed at his eye with his fist and lifted up his other hand to wave bye to the teen. “Bye bye. ‘O go.”
“Bye Peter. Have fun. I’ll um, I’ll see you soon I guess.” Ned waved bye to the toddler then Tony was hanging up the call and shutting the computer.
“Peter. Let’s go see what mommy’s doing, shall we?” Tony went to stand up with Peter in his arms but at the mention of mommy, Peter’s interest peaked up and he was wiggling to be put down so Tony placed him on the floor and watched him run off. “Okay. You lead the way.”
Peter ran up to the gate on the stairs and started grabbing it aggressively, willing it to open on pure willpower alone.
The sight made Tony chuckle. Damn. And he thought Peter got excited to see him.
“Calm down, kid. Geez.” Tony unlocked the baby gate and let Peter crawl up the stairs but he was right behind him just in case. Peter had yet to learn how to walk up and down the stairs so he always got carried down or crawled up while either Tony or Pepper stood behind him in case he fell.
Once Peter got to the top, there was another gate that had to be opened so he sat on top of the top step and pointed to Tony. “Open.”
“I know. I know.” He unlocked that gate too but had to lock it back up behind him for Peter. Peter then started crawling in the direction of Tony’s and Pepper’s bedroom and also his since they had yet to put Peter to sleep in his own room.
It was too hard. Tony wanted Peter as close to him as possible and at all times. He wasn’t ready to put him into his own crib yet. Maybe next week.
Tony also secretly loved it when Peter crawled. He knew he should encourage his two year old to be walking but it was too precious. To see his little arms and legs working, it was too cute so he allowed it. Plus, the baby grunts were an added bonus to the cuteness.
Once the two of them found Pepper in her bedroom who was sadly packing, unknowingly to Peter who was going to freak out, she smiled widely and looked down at her crawling toddler.
“Peter. Look at you go.” Pepper spoke excitedly to add to Peter’s excitement. “I thought you could walk. Did you forget how?” She teasingly asked and leaned down to pick the boy up, setting him on her hip. “How did the FaceTime call go with Ned? Did Peter recognize him?”
Tony sat himself down on the bed. “It went well. Ned’s excited to possibly see Peter in person but I can tell he’s really upset about this whole thing. I mean, even though Peter is still here, he technically lost his best friend.”
Pepper nodded sadly. She actually lost her best friend in high school to drugs so she knew what it was like to lose a best friend but not actually lose them. To have them there but not there. It was frustrating and it sucked.
“The poor kid. One day, we can plan for him to possibly come to Malibu and see Peter.” She said, just like Tony had said before. “We can have his whole family come and stay for a week or two so he isn’t alone and he can play with Peter. Possibly babysit for a few hours.”
“That’s what I said. Well, about the babysitting thing but he said he doesn’t know how to change a diaper. I told him I’d do that part.” Tony chuckled and sat up to hold his arms out for the toddler who was chewing on Pepper’s shirt.
“You learned how to do that with Peter, didn’t you?” Pepper asked as she walked into the closet to grab some more clothes to pack into her suitcase while Tony sat Peter on his stomach and poked at his nose.
“Yep.” He replied to Pepper while making a silly face at Peter. He got a bunch of giggles out of Peter who then crawled off of him and went somewhere behind his head, out of view. “So, you’re leaving tonight then?”
“Yeah. After I pack I’m going to the airport.” Pepper told him. Tony was going to miss her like crazy. They developed such an amazing routine together that worked so smoothly everyday. That was all going to be messed up now. “I’m going to stay at the tower and I’ll be gone for five days, Tony. Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?”
Tony shook his head. It’s not that he didn’t want to go with Pepper, of course he would but he just… he wanted to stay in Malibu in their new home. He was done with New York for a while now. He just needed a break.
“We’re gonna stay. I um, I want to stay here.” Tony sat up. He glanced back at Peter just to see what he was doing and then back at Pepper. “Pete and I are happy here. I would love for you to stay too but I know you still want to continue working and I’m totally okay with that. Being supportive.” He smiled weakly. He was going to fucking miss her.
“Alright.” She gave him one of those smiles that she got wherever she was sad but trying not to show it. It only resulted in Tony wanting to cry even more. “I’ll miss you guys but I’ll call ten times a day.”
Tony nodded and pulled her in for a hug. “Fifteen times. Just because you know, Pete might wanna hear your voice a little bit more.”
She pressed a kiss to his face and pulled away to zip up her suitcase. With a sigh, she pulled her suitcase onto the floor. “I guess this is goodbye for now.”
To lighten the mood before he started crying, Tony stood up and pulled Peter’s ankles towards him. “For a goodbye gift, Peter has an extra special, stinky present in his diaper for you.”
The smile immediately fell from Pepper’s face. “He went poo? How do you know?”
Tony felt Peter’s diaper just to be sure. Yep. “C’mon, Pep. Keep up. Didn’t you see him squatting and making the poop face while we were talking? He’s ruthless. Pooping while making eye contact.”
She started laughing as she took the toddler from Tony and laid him on his back. “Remember this. After I leave, make sure to leave an extra smelly poop in your diaper for daddy, okay?”
Peter kicked his legs excitedly and started laughing.
Tony sat down next to Peter and let Pepper do all the work. It was only fair since he was going to be doing every single diaper change for the next five days plus, Pepper needed some practice.
He was the real expert but Pepper still needed to figure out how to keep the toddler still. Such as right now.
Rookie mistake. She left to go grab a clean diaper and wipes after the poop filled diaper was already untaped. Peter, who was already in a silly mood, decided to roll onto his stomach so he could crawl away and instead of helping, Tony sat back and laughed.
“Tony, hold his legs while I get the diaper and wipes.” Pepper told him desperately but he shook his head and pulled his shirt up to cover his nose from the smell. “Tony. Please. How am I supposed to… Tony.”
Tony started laughing but he was the one sleeping on this bed tonight, not Pepper so he grabbed Peter’s legs and held them up while Pepper went to go grab a clean diaper and wipes.
“You smelly.” Tony told the toddler but Peter shook his head and tried to reach down there so Tony quickly let go of his shirt to grab his hands. “Alright, Pep. Any day now.”
Pepper finally returned and placed both items on the bed. It ended up taking two of them to change Peter which made Tony concerned for the next time he had to do this alone. He was not looking forward to that. Maybe he’ll just spray Peter down with the hose in the backyard.
Once Peter was dressed in a new diaper and his bodysuit, Pepper lifted the boy into her arms and pressed a bunch of kisses over his face. “I love you. I’ll miss you so much but mommy will see you soon.”
Tony carried her suitcase down for her. This goodbye was not going to be easy. For both him and Peter.
After they got downstairs and packed the suitcase into the car, Pepper had to say her goodbyes now. “Peter, baby. I’ll see you so soon but I have to go away for a little bit, okay? But I’ll see you so so soon. You’re gonna have so much fun with daddy.”
Peter looked confused as he looked at Pepper. “Mommy go?”
She nodded her head, wiping a single tear that fell. “Yeah, baby. Mommy has to go but I’ll see you so soon. Okay, baby?”
Pepper squeezed Peter tightly. The toddler wasn’t fully understanding what was happening just yet but Tony knew it was slowly clicking in, judging by the look on his face.
She then walked into Tony’s awaiting arms. It was so hard. They had built so much while they were at their new forever home in such a short amount of time and now they were having to say goodbye already. It was hard.
“I love you. And I’ll call you soon. Call me when you land.” Tony pressed a deep, long kiss to her lips then pulled her back in for another hug.
“I’ll call you.” She promised him and pressed another kiss to Peter’s face. “Be good for daddy. I’ll see you later.”
Peter looked at her confused still. “Mommy go?”
“Yeah, baby. Mommy has to go for a little bit.” Tony explained to the two year old then took his baby from Pepper’s arms but once Pepper walked away from them and into the car, Peter bursted out crying.
It was loud and heartbreaking for the parents. There was nothing they could do about it but wait for it to pass, however long that would take.
Tony held Peter on his hip and tried to bounce him slightly but it wasn’t going to work. Peter was reaching his arms out desperately for Pepper, making extreme grabby hands for his new mommy but she didn’t come to him which had Peter crying harder.
Peter looked over at Tony and pointed at Pepper, followed by his grabby hands but all Tony could do was shake his head and try to calm his baby.
It was going to be him and Peter for the next five days.