I’m gonna give all my secrets away
Peter didn’t remember falling asleep on the couch.
When he wakes up, he is confused and his head hurts a bit. At first he thinks that he’s in his toddler body so his first reaction is to start crying until his daddy comes to get him but Peter then remembers that he was aged back up and he is currently in his fifteen year old body that isn’t all the same ever since.
Peter sits up on the couch and rubs his eyes with a fist before standing up and making his way into the kitchen. He sees a bunch of baby bottles everywhere. In the sink, drying on the counter and when he opens the fridge there are even some filled bottles still in there filled with milk or apple juice.
Peter looks away and shuts the fridge. He isn’t all that hungry anymore anyways.
He decides to just go to his bedroom to grab some new clothes to change into, he still isn’t sure if he’s sleeping over with Tony or not but he doubts it. Tony would have said so already.
When Peter walks into his bedroom, the first thing he sees is his crib. He tries to ignore it at first but his curiosity gets the better of him because before he knows it, he is walking over to it and looking inside.
He finds it hard to believe that he used to sleep in there. That he was ever small enough to fit comfortably inside.
It does look extremely comfy and cozy but obviously he’s too big to crawl in now and try to fall asleep without hurting himself or breaking it.
Peter looks away from the crib and catches sight of the changing table and the two boxes of diapers that are there. He hated that he had to use diapers in the very beginning because he was still in his teenage mind but after time went on he just stopped caring and he actually liked it.
Tony was always there to change him and he could care less about having to wear a diaper. He was in a toddler mind and even though he can remember everything now, he knows that he liked it as a toddler.
Peter looks away from his changing table and diapers and tries to look anywhere in the room that doesn’t have any baby things but the whole room is covered in it.
He spots a single diaper on the ground and goes to pick it up. It’s small and it makes him wonder just how tiny he actually was.
Peter tosses it onto his bed and then walks over to his dresser and tries to find some new clothes to change into. As he opens up the drawers, all he can find is more baby clothes of his so he knows that Tony must have moved his teenage clothes somewhere else in order to fit his baby clothes in.
Peter opens up the bottom drawer and finds at least some of his teenage clothes. He pulls out grey track pants, some new underwear and an older sweater that he’s pretty sure he stole from Tony a long time ago.
He pulls off his pants and underwear and is just about to take his shirt off when his body is being pushed open.
“Peter, I was just- oh. Oops. I’m sorry.” Tony saw that he just walked in on Peter changing so he immediately turned away and waited outside Peter’s bedroom in the hallway.
Peter didn’t even have time to cover himself up. He feels his face turn red as he quickly pulls his shirt off and then pulls on a new shirt then his underwear and pants. He sits on his teenage bed and looks at his hands. “Um, you can come in now.”
Tony appeared in the doorway seconds later and looked at Peter. “Sorry about that. I’m Uh, I was so used to not knocking on your bedroom door while you were a baby so Uh, yeah.”
Peter doesn’t even care. It doesn’t matter anyways because it’s not gonna change anything. Tony saw him naked when he was a baby and apparently now too. His life just seems to be getting worse.
“It’s fine.” Peter looked down at his feet because he didn’t want to look at Tony and he didn’t want to look at anything in his room that now looked like a baby’s bedroom. “Um, did you need something?”
Tony stood awkwardly by the doorway. He didn’t know when things had gotten so awkward with his kid. He had done everything when Peter was a baby and he knew that Peter remembers all of it but he can’t help but wish that Peter didn’t remember it so that the kid wouldn’t be so embarrassed in front of him.
“I was just wondering if you wanted to spend the night? If not then you don’t have to, I can drive you back home now.” Tony really wanted Peter to spend the night so they could talk and so it wasn’t so awkward around each other but he didn’t want to make Peter feel pressured into spending the night.
“If-if you want me to.” Peter looked up at Tony through his eyelashes. He could tell that the man looked nervous for some reason and he never saw Tony nervous before, it was weird.
“Obviously I want you to, Pete. I spent the last month and a half with you so it’s… weird not to have you here.” Tony scrunched his nose up. He wasn’t making any sense but he found that he took up that mannerism from Peter; rambling when nervous.
Peter looked down and smiled at his feet. He missed Tony and he didn’t want to leave the man. “Um, I want to stay too.”
Tony felt relief wash over him. “Okay. I’m gonna go text May back now to let her know and maybe after we could do something?”
Peter shrugged his shoulders. To be honest he forgot what him and Tony used to do together. All that he can remember is how him and his daddy used to play with his teddy bears in his bedroom, go for walks, play in the bath and laugh with his daddy or all the many many diaper changes. Most of those things they can’t really do now together which leaves them with not many options.
“Let me know. I’ll be in the living room if you need me.” Tony said somewhat sadly and then he disappeared out of the room.
Peter sighed. He would be lying if he said he didn’t miss when he was a baby because he missed being so carefree and happy. If he was still a two year old then he would have ran out of his bedroom and demanded that his daddy pick him up but he couldn’t do that now and he felt weird about that. It felt like he was missing something.
Peter stayed in his bedroom for a little bit longer but he didn’t know what to do so he left his room to go find Tony. He knew the man said he was in the living room and Peter wanted to go down and suggested they watch a movie together but he didn’t think that he could handle watching a movie, he didn’t feel like sitting.
He made his way into the living room and immediately found his daddy- Tony sitting on the couch on his phone. He walked over to the couch and stood there awkwardly.
Tony looked up at him. “Hey, bud. I called your Aunt. She said that you can stay as long as you want.”
Peter nodded his head and looked towards the ground. He hated how he felt so uncomfortable around the man. He didn’t know why, Tony did and saw everything so why was he still awkward? Peter cringed at himself.
Tony looked at Peter up and down. He was so used to looking at his toddler Peter running around the penthouse and even though he’s looking at his fifteen year old Peter, he still can’t help but still look at him like a baby. He knows that that is unfair to Peter to think that but he can’t help it. Peter is his baby and Tony knows that there is something… off with this Peter. He just looks and seems different but Tony doesn’t know what it is.
Tony decided to take a chance and invite Peter to sit next to him. Which feels odd for him considering that Peter usually doesn’t wait for an invitation and jumps on top of him anyways.
He patted the spot next to him. “Come sit with me, Pete.”
Peter hesitated at first but then quickly made his way over to Tony and sat next to him. Tony put his arm around the kid’s shoulders, bringing Peter closer to his body so he could rest his head on his chest. Peter was tense at first but then he relaxed and melted into Tony’s side.
“I missed you when you weren’t here,” Tony said. Peter got more comfortable and threw an arm across Tony’s stomach. “it was too quiet.”
Peter frowned. It was too quiet in the apartment as well. He weakly fisted Tony’s shirt and sighed. “Can we go for a walk somewhere? Just to… like get air?”
Tony lifted his arm up so he could scratch at Peter’s hair gently. “You wanna go for a walk?”
Peter nodded against his chest.
“Uh, it’s getting dark out but we can still go.” Tony wouldn’t mind going for a walk. It would be a quick one considering the time of evening but it’d be nice.
“Okay.” Peter said but didn’t make any move to get up until he felt Tony shift and move his arm from around his shoulder.
“You have to get off of me if you wanna go, Pete.” Tony laughed weakly but then Peter was scrambling off of him and standing to the side awkwardly like he was before.
Tony stood up and went to walk towards Peter’s bedroom. “I just have to go get your diaper bag to-”
Peter felt his face turn red.
Tony paused and turned around to face the kid. “Never mind. Force of habit.”
The two of them silently made their way down in the elevator and into the garage. Tony didn’t necessarily hate the silence but it was strange as opposed to the baby babbling that would happen whenever Peter was around which was all the time.
Peter went to get into Tony’s car but Tony pointed to another one. “We’re gonna take that one, bud.”
Peter looked towards where Tony pointed to and climbed in the passenger seat. Tony got in as well and just as Peter was putting on his seatbelt, he turned around and saw his car seat sitting in the backseat, unused.
Tony followed his gaze and looked in the rearview mirror to see what Peter was looking at. “Oh. I’ll have to talk that out. I just Uh, I didn’t get the chance yet.”
Tony liked the car seat in his car. It made him feel like he still had a baby when he in fact did not. Peter was still his baby but he was a bit too big now to put him in his old car seat.
Peter looked away from his car seat and stared ahead. “Yeah. So where are we going?”
Tony started the car and pulled out of the garage, pulling onto the street. “There’s this park that Pep and I took you to when you were… a baby. I thought we’d go there.”
Peter nodded and looked out the window. “Alright.”
The rest of the car ride to the park was spent in silence once again. Tony didn’t know why he couldn’t just say something to the kid and put an end to the silence that was killing him but he couldn’t. He had no idea what to say to Peter and he hated that.
When they got to the park, Tony pulled into the small parking lot that was attached and was thankful for the fact that it was mostly empty asides from two other cars. He didn’t want to bump into anyone, especially not any paparazzis.
They got out of the car and out of habit, Tony went to go open up the back door but then he stopped himself and walked around to Peter’s side. It was weird to not have to unbuckle an excited toddler or to have to carry someone on his hip while he walked.
They started walking down the pathway towards the park when Peter leaned against him. “I remember coming here.”
“Yeah? What do you remember about it?” Tony asked curiously. He remembered that day clearly so he’s curious to hear how Peter remembers it.
“Um, I just remember you playing with me at the park. And you throwing me in the air.” Peter explained and tried to think about what else he remembered but then he remembered something and he felt himself turn red. “And I remember you changed my um, diaper right in front of everyone.”
Tony laughed at that. “Well there wasn’t anybody else at the park besides for like two people and it was just Pep and I there.”
“That doesn’t make me feel any better.” Peter hugged his arms around himself both because he was kinda cold and because he was embarrassed.
“Well if it makes you feel any better, I changed your diaper while we were here.” Tony tried to say to make Peter feel better but Peter was moving away from him and looking at him with his mouth open in shock, at least he was smiling.
“With an audience!” Peter playfully hit Tony on the arm.
Tony loved seeing his kid smile. He feels like he hasn’t seen it in so long. Too long. “What audience? Pepper?”
“Yeah and that kid that was there. I remember. I just remember I didn’t care but… ew.” Peter shivered at the thought. He knew he was in a carefree mindset when he was two years old so he didn’t care at the time but thinking about it is just so weird.
Tony bursted out laughing at the memory. Wow so Peter really did remember everything. “Oh yeah! I mean she was a kid. And you were a baby.”
Peter shrugged and moved back to lean against Tony’s side. “Still weird.”
Tony couldn’t help himself so he put his arm around his kid and hugged him against his side. “Don’t be embarrassed about what happened, baby. Um,” Tony didn’t mean to use that nickname but it was already out there and he couldn’t take it back now. “I just don’t want you to be embarrassed about any of this.”
“Kinda too late for that because I am.” Peter couldn’t help himself. It was just how he felt.
“Why?” Tony knew why but he wanted Peter to tell him. “Every single parent changes their kids diapers and gives them baths and all that.”
“Well yeah but… that’s when they were a baby and then the kid grows up and most likely forgets about all of that but-but I don’t since it was like um two days ago that I was in a diaper and that’s… I don’t know. It’s embarrassing.” Peter explained the best he could. He didn’t really know how else to explain it if Tony didn’t understand.
“I get it, Pete. I can understand how I would feel if I were you.” Tony stopped walking and turned Peter so he was standing in front of him. Tony noticed again how much more… smaller he was. He ignored that for now. “Look, Pete. I don’t want what happened to change our relationship. Ever since you… aged back up you’ve been so quiet and you haven’t been yourself and it’s sad to see.”
Peter felt horrible. He knew that he was acting differently but that was because he was scared he was gonna get too comfortable in front of Tony and he might slip into his carefree mindset again and that terrified him.
“I’m sorry.” He looked at his feet so he wasn’t looking into daddy’s- Tony’s eyes. He was also terrified of calling Tony daddy again since it was on the top of his tongue.
Tony sighed. “I don’t want you to be sorry, Petey. I just… I want you to act how you wanna act around me. You wanna be hyper and talk a mile a minute like you used to, go ahead. You wanna do whatever you wanna do then just go for it.”
Peter smiled at that. He knew Tony just wanted him to be his old self again and go back to how their relationship was but Peter knew that that wasn’t possible with everything that happened, they would be closer than they were before.
Peter wanted that so badly but he didn’t know why he couldn’t just accept the fact that what happened, happened and he can’t change anything.
Yes, Tony Stark changed his diapers just a few days ago, get over it! Peter hated himself for being embarrassed about it.
“Are we good?” Tony asked him after he said nothing.
Peter smiled. “Yeah. We are.”
Tony tapped his chin with his finger and pulled Peter into his chest for a huge. “Good. You wanna keep walking or do you wanna head back now?”
After Tony let him go, Peter returned back to Tony’s side. “I wanna keep walking. It’s nice out.”
They continued walking down the path but Tony bumper into his kid. “Nice out? It’s cold.”
Peter shrugged. It wasn’t that cold, it was refreshing. “Let’s go sit on that bench for a bit and then we can go home, okay?”
Both boys paused. Peter had called the tower home.
Peter didn’t even realize what he was saying until it was out of his mouth. He knew it was the same thing when he called Tony daddy and he was so scared that he was going to call him that again. It just slipped out of his mouth, of course he thinks of the tower as his second home… well maybe his first home since Tony’s there and Tony is… well Tony’s Tony. His Tony.
He looked up to see Tony’s reaction and saw that the man was staring right at him with a smile on his face.
“Do you really mean that?” Tony asked him. He felt his heart stop when Peter had said that. That made him so happy to hear because Peter was his kid. No matter what but he wasn’t so sure that Peter saw him as well… his daddy- dad, whatever one Peter would call him now.
Peter wasn’t expecting Tony to ask him about it. He looked away and walked towards the bench to sit on it. Tony followed him and sat down right beside him. “Peter?”
“I don’t know. I mean, yes. I guess after everything that happened, things are just different now. You know that.” Peter couldn’t look into Tony’s eyes. He didn’t want to see the man’s reaction.
“I know that things are different but I want to hear it from you on why you think things are different.” Tony pressed on.
“Peter glared at Tony. “I know things are different. I don’t think.”
“Okay. So tell me.” Tony sat back and leaned his arm on the table.
Peter was looking around at the park and the forest that was next to them. He didn’t want to tell Tony why they were different now because it was just too weird… and embarrassing to say out loud. He looked down at his hands and started playing with his fingers.
Tony laughed, he wasn’t laughing at Peter, just the situation and because Peter was incredibly cute when he was nervous. “Peter, just tell me, bud.”
Peter jumped up. He couldn’t do this, at least not right now. “Nope. I’m actually kinda cold so can we go home now? Please.”
Tony smiled when he heard the word that held so much meaning to it, escape Peter’s mouth again. He stood up anyways. “Sure, bud. Let’s go home.”
Tony didn’t know what Peter was going to say but he needed to find out.