Chapter 1
The man formerly known as Iron Man hesitated for a moment before pressing the doorbell button that was sitting next to the nameplate with a Scandinavian-sounding name on it. So humiliating, he thought while waiting for an answer, but the truth was that he was running out of options and had nowhere else to go.
‘Yes?’ a sophisticated male voice answered after a short while. The speaker sounded a little out of breath yet hopeful, as if he were expecting company but had long given up all hope of their arrival.
‘It’s Tony.’
A brief silence and a sharp intake of breath followed this announcement. ‘Tony who?’ asked the voice.
Don’t be an ass, Tony thought, you know who I am. Then he said, ‘Stark.’
There was a sigh and then, the buzzer sounded. ‘Come in,’ the voice drawled reluctantly, but Tony had already pushed the door open, eager to enter and hopeful of finding shelter for the night and maybe a bit of supper too, if possible.
*****
Naturally, the elevator was out of work and now it was Tony’s time to sigh: climbing all those stairs wasn’t easy for a middle-aged man out of shape with a drastically reduced lung capacity and a heart condition who hadn’t eaten properly for several days. Also, he was tired and could feel a cold coming on. Today was Thursday again, the third one after he had mysteriously lost his company and home to Obadiah Stane, former business associate and fatherly friend. Even Pepper Potts, his capable assistant who usually knew what was going on within Stark Industries, hadn’t seen it coming. She had given Tony all the cash she had on her when the coup happened, but the former billionaire had run out of money a while ago. That meant he couldn’t afford staying in the budget hostel he’d found any longer. Tony had spend some nights sleeping in various public spaces while winter was approaching, and he could feel the frost in his bones already.
This is going to be bad, he thought, ignoring the dull ache behind his forehead and the sore feeling in his throat. I wish I could have a drink now. Resigned, Tony braced himself for what was waiting for him and knocked softly on the door of the man he had come to see.
The door was opened immediately, even before Tony had the time to remove his hand again; Loki, the little shit, must have been standing right there with his fingers around the handle waiting for another request from Tony to be allowed inside.
‘Greetings, Anthony, Son of Howard,’ said the Norse God of Mischief, curiosity shining from his bright green eyes. ‘What brings you to my door?’
‘Howdy,’ Tony retorted resolutely, determined to beat down any potential opposition on Loki’s side with the help of the patent Stark Swagger™. He had a plan after all, and he was going to see it through even though he was experiencing difficulties with holding himself upright right now. And to make things worse, Tony found it immediately difficult to focus because of the heavenly aroma of freshly baked bread wafting from the apartment.
Tony had enough self-respect left not to salivate, but he couldn’t stop his stomach from growling.
Loki raised an eyebrow and looked down haughtily on the former billionaire, but somehow, the effect was spoiled by the fact that the god was wearing an apron and a hairnet. He was also carrying a kitchen towel draped over his shoulder. ‘You look needy,’ Loki said after a while.
‘Yeah?’ Tony replied. ‘Looks can be deceiving.’ Not quite my old form, but I think I’m getting there.
‘Or so they say.’ Loki nodded, adding, ‘But you sound needy too,’ with a sneer as Tony’s stomach rumbled again.
‘That's just rude, and besides, I haven’t come here to exchange banter,’ Tony replied with a fake smile. Thank you for being a jerk, Lokes. You’re making this a lot easier for me than I expected.
Loki’s eyes lit up. ‘Well, I’m glad you haven’t lost your sense of humour despite losing everything else.’
Dude is enjoying himself. Great. Tony eyed the hairnet that covered Loki’s long black curls. It looked so utterly ridiculous and out of character for the infamous supervillain, it helped him to focus again. ‘Stop being an asshole, Loki.’
The god looked so remorseful, it almost made Tony laugh at his overacting. Unfortunately, he couldn’t afford to.
‘Anthony Stark, please tell me what you have come for then,’ Loki begged in an exaggerated humble tone of voice. ‘I have an apple pie in the oven that needs watching.’
‘Sorry to disturb your domestic bliss, Reindeer Games, but I’ve been thinking.’
‘Why, yes. I’m pleased to hear that.’
Now this is the hard part, Tony thought. He swallowed, cursed his sore throat, and took a deep breath. Then he asked, ‘Remember all those times we fought each other?’
‘I certainly do,’ Loki responded amiably. ‘What about it?’
‘You ruined an awful lot of equipment.’
‘Yes?’
‘The suits alone were worth...’ Tony stopped in mid-sentence. Suddenly, the whole stunt was starting to feel uncomfortably like begging and he could sense the whole weight of his filthy clothes on his unwashed body.
‘Millions of Dollars,’ Loki added dreamily, completing the sentence while smiling fondly at the memory. ‘And wasn’t it fun. Busting your armour was quite a challenge sometimes.’
Tony winced. He remembered every single armour-busting and the resulting injuries only too well. He also remembered all those damn superhero-landings that ruined his knees despite the highly-advanced shock absorbers in his armours’ joints. But in those days, Tony had access to the world’s leading doctors, and health care had never been a problem.
For a moment, Tony felt dizzy and weak, and he had to close his eyes.
‘If you faint at my doorstep, people will blame me,’ Loki said. He sounded cold and acrimonious. ‘So don’t. I gather you’ve come to collect, then?’
‘Well, that was the plan,’ whispered Tony, ‘but I’m just realising how stupid it sounds.’
‘Not at all. I had a lot of fun at your expense while you were affluent and so I think it was worth a try. The only problem is, I don’t have millions of dollars in cash lying around. A hundred, maybe.’
‘That would buy me a room for the night and some food.’
‘And you could always come back for more alms tomorrow after I had the time to go to the ATM.’
“Alms!’ Tony exclaimed horrified.
Loki chuckled, but then he took another look at Tony and frowned. ‘Are you ill?’ he asked sharply.
‘Just a cold.’
‘And now you’re planning to sleep in a bunk bed in the dorm of a possibly roach infested doss-house? Surrounded by strangers and with no one to look after you?’
Tony could watch a whole movie going on on Loki’s face. ‘You see, I'm just looking for a place to stay for tonight,’ he finally admitted. ‘A good night’s sleep is all I need.’
‘Then come inside,’ the villain said, opening his door wide.