I Can’t Risk Another Goodbye Part 3
“He should be okay. Just keep him hydrated and check on him every few hours.” The doctor smiled reassuringly at the pair, almost more at Tony, who had not let go of Peter since they landed.
Nothing was broken. The suit had blocked the majority of the force and he only had a few scrapes and bruises. Peter’s headphones were placed by his side, having just been used. Everything was still louder than normal, but he could deal with it. Besides, Mr.Stark was already worried enough. The sooner things were normal, the sooner his heart rate would slow down.
“Are you sure? You’ve checked everything?” The woman smiled and nodded. Then she checked her clip board and quietly left the room.
There was an awkward silence as each person searched for what to say.
Mr.Stark spoke first,”how about we go put your stuff up? Your bag got ripped up but you have clothes here.”
Peter looked confused,” no the only extra pair I had I took with me last time.”
“I’m a billionaire. I bought clothes.”
Tony tried to help the teen stand, though Peter was content on doing it himself.
“I’m not a newborn deer Mr.Stark.”
Tony through his hands up in innocence “whatever Bambi says.” He flashed a grin.
Peter thought back to the movie. He sharply looked up, “where’s May? Does she know?” While he had been awake the whole time, Mr.Stark wasn’t with him every minute. May would have been told immediately, right? But she would have been there with Peter.
Tony must of noticed his panic when he said, “calm down. Your aunt’s fine. She couldn’t get out of work but I assured her you were fine. Everything is okay.” He rested his hand on the teens shoulder.
Peter relaxed, as long as everyone was okay.
The wheels turned in Tony’s brain as they walked towards the elevator. Peter seemed fine but Tony had learned that you can’t take things at face value with this kid. He would rather a bone heal twisted then admit he got hurt. That’s why the doctor ran every test she could. If Peter had hidden anything, they would know.
Other than his heart booming in his chest, Peter felt fine. Still, doubt nagged in the back of his mind. What if this was the last straw? What if Tony decided having Peter around was too much work? That he was a liability. Tony couldn’t keep himself safe as long as Peter was there. Peter just put everyone in danger.
The elevator stopped on Tony’s floor, where Peter’s room was.
Peter turned in the direction of the guest room that was dedicated to his use, but Tony continued to walk forward, pulling Peter along with him. He led them to the living area, where couches more expensive than Peter could ever afford sat, mostly unused. Tony sat down on one and motioned for him to do the same.
No one spoke at first, Peter stared at his hands while Tony surveyed his face, leaning forward.
“We have to talk about this.”
Peter didn’t reply. There was a lot they should talk about. Tony undoubtedly knew about Peter’s reaction to Boston. He could mean that or the unanswered phone calls. Maybe Peter was right. Maybe this was good-bye.
“Pete. You can’t be a superhero like this.”
He looked up, alarmed. Was Mr.Stark going to take the suit again? Just for ignoring him?
“Hey. It’s ok. Don’t look so frightened,” Tony tried to speak softly, not looking to scare anyone. “What i mean is- well. You are out there too Peter. I get you want to protect everyone, but you can’t do that if your dead. You need an ounce of self preservation.”
He didn’t get it, “but Mr.Stark I’m a superhero. It’s my job to help people.”
“You are included in people.”
“I can handle myself. I’m use to not having back up. I’m better helping others.”
Tony sighed, “you’re not getting it. You got thrown across the road today, and wanted to know if I was okay. Do you see the problem?”
Peter shook his head, “no. I knew I was fine. You had gotten hit first.”
Mr.Stark looked exasperated, “you were not fine,” he put finger quotes around the last word, “you were having a panic attack! Peter, you cannot say you are fine when FRIDAY automatically blocks out every sense just because of your vitals. Did this happen just because of the crash?”
Peter stayed fixated on his hands, pulling a string on his hoodie. He mumbled something, wishing he could keep this all to himself.
“What? Please look at me. I want to help.”
Every word added fuel to the fire in Peter’s head. Mr.Stark didn’t truly want to help. All that mattered was not having a crazy super hero tarnishing his look. That’s all it was.
Still, Peter spoke as clear as he could manage, “I didn’t know if you were okay. I thought you could’ve been hurt.”
Tony smiled comfortingly, “ I appreciate the concern but it wasn’t worth a panic attack.”
How did he not get it? Peter couldn’t understand any way to say it without being blunt.
“ I was scared you died.”
The smile left Tony’s face and was replaced with concern.
“I was scared in Boston too. When the building collapsed.”
An arm placed itself around Peter’s shoulders, trying to being of any help.
He didn’t want to bother anyone, but once he started talking, Peter couldn’t stop.
“If you died Mr.Stark? If you died, I’d be alone. I have May but she isn’t a crime fighter. I’d have to face the city alone. Work on my suit, alone. I couldn’t talk to anyone. People try to understand what it’s like but how do you tell them what it feels like. How it feels to fly through the city? To see the appreciation on someone’s face when you save them?” Peter’s shoulders sagged,” How it feels to be crushed. To almost die.” He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to stop the hot tears in his eyes. Every word he had thought about at night. He’d climb on the roof and speak to the stars. But to say it aloud? For someone else to listen?
“Mr.Stark. I’m tired of saying goodbye to people. If you died, I would loose one of my favorite people. I would loose someone else. I would loose family. I can’t loose someone close to me again. I couldn’t survive that Mr.Stark.”
“I’m not going anywhere. I will never leave you Peter. Ok?”
The teen didn’t respond. Instead, he buried his head in the older mans coat. Sobs racked his body, but Tony just held him closer. He wouldn’t let go for the world.
“We can talk about it later if you want, but we do need to address the lack of communication. I thought something had happened to you.”
Peter looked up and wiped his nose. He felt like a child, crying and being a blubbering mess, but Peter felt safe.
“It was Boston. I was scared. If something happened. If you-“ he wiped a tear from his cheek,” I figured it wouldn’t hurt as bad if I wasn’t attached. If you hated me or I hated you, it wouldn’t be loosing family.”
Mr.Stark looked down sharply, “why would I hate you?”
Peter shrugged, “I don’t know. Maybe if you thought i was annoying or useless. If I was just a liability and a waste of resources.”
Tony squeezed Peter tighter,” Kid, I’m not leaving and neither are you.”