That stupid thing Steve drinks
A week and a half of Steve’s mostly liquid diet had begun to make him sort of whiney. Bucky couldn’t blame him. He still felt rotten and he had to be getting tired of mostly soup with no spice and no salt. Bruce was taking every precaution despite the serum working things back in order. He had to do something for him. “Bruce is there some kind of treat we can get for Steve? He’s kinda miserable. Maybe a drink or something he likes?” Bruce paused his experiment and looked through his notes. “Well...we were thinking of moving to pureed food and letting him have sugar and dairy again so maybe something from the coffee place he likes?” Bucky nodded “Great..where is it?” Bruce shook his head “No clue he goes there with Wanda. It’s some hipster place. She can probably take you. She is learning to drive so maybe you can help her get drivetime in too. ” He left to find Wanda.
She was in the library putting back the books she borrowed before she headed home to Clint’s family who had more or less adopted her. “Hello James. How are you today?” He nodded nervously. “Great, great, I’m great. I um… wanted to get something for Steve, Bruce says he can have sugar and dairy again and I thought it might be nice to get him something but um the coffee place he likes, I have no idea where it is and since you need to do some driving practice I figured we could maybe drive there?” She paused. He and Wanda had never spent too much time together but he knew she and Steve were very close. “I can take you. So Steve can have Coffee as a treat” She said with a smile and then shook her head. “Sorry it's some meme thing Shurri and Peter sent me the other week. Let me put these back and grab my coat and purse and we can go.”
They headed downstairs to the garage and he froze as Wanda hopped into one of Tony’s sports cars. “Um… what are you doing?” She looked at him like he was stupid “Driving practice remeber?” He looked around at the multitude of cars and then back at this one. “But this is one of Stark's fancy sports cars.” She nodded “He has been teaching me to drive in this one. Clint took the truck back home so this is the car I'm comfortable with.” He hesitantly climbed to the passenger's side. “Wanda, per protocol I am informing Boss that you are going out for driving practice with James. Do you have a destination in mind that i may inform him and a return time?”
“Thanks Friday we are going to the coffee shop Steve likes in Greenwich Village. I’m not sure how soon we will be back but i will alert you as soon as we are returning.” Bucky groaned “We are going to Greenwich this time of day? Traffic is going to be a nightmare.” She giggled and rolled her eyes. “I wouldn’t be going if I didn’t think I could handle it. Remember Tony has been teaching me to drive.” He closed his eyes and took a breath “And that does not make me feel any better.”
After an hour and a half in traffic Bucky was more than happy to scramble out of the car once it was parked. “Oh, come on James it was not that bad. You are being so dramatic.” He frowned “No it WAS that bad. I have been in plane crashes that were more peaceful.” She shrugged “If you are gonna drive in new york city you have to drive it like you stole it. Tony’s words not mine.” They stepped into a coffee shop whose general clientele made Bucky feel old by comparison. “Jeez this is the place Steve goes to?”
“Yes, this is the place Steve goes to. You know he will sooner support a small family owned operation than a corporate chain. Do you want anything?” He shook his head. Whenever he and Peter went to Starbucks he always ordered for him. “I wouldn’t know what to get kid, Pete normally just surprises me with whatever he gets from Starbucks.” She nodded and looked over the menu for a moment. “I’m sure we can find you something. Steve always gets the caramel apple macchiato. How about just a white chocolate mocha? Short sweet and to the point.” He shrugged “Whatever.” She headed for the counter and he took a seat at one of the tables. She returned with two paper cups and one thermos that had Steve’s name on it. “I didn't see you bring that. She smiled "You can leave a cup or a thermos here and request your order be put in that. Steve always keeps two here in case he wants to take something for later." Bucky shook his head. He remembered the year Sarah scraped together enough money between herself and his parents to get Steve a thermos.
He was pulled from his thoughts by Wanda tapping his arm. “Did you try it yet?” He looked down at the cup. “What did you get and why does it have sprinkles?” She smiled “It’s a birthday cake flavored latte. It’s SOOOOOOOOO good.” He looked back at his drink skeptically. “Uhuh.” He wasn't sure why he was so nervous. When he and Peter tried new things he always had no issue telling him if he didn;t care for it and normally Peter would just drink it himself. “What if I don’t like it.” He muttered quietly. Wanda’s expression softened. “It’s ok if you don’t like it James. We don't always like new things but it's still ok to try.” He nodded relaxing a bit at her encouragement. He took a sip and was surprised he actually liked it. “This is actually pretty good.” She smiled “You can thank Peter. I texted him to see what kind of things you like but I wanted to get you something different because I didn't want to infringe upon your starbucks time with him.” He smiled “It’s alright kid. I’m not that territorial.”
They finished up and she took him to a few of the shops. They found a few things to put away for Christmas and she bought a box of chocolates which they were sharing on the ride home. Wanda was telling him all about college and things going on with Clint and his family. She had spent the last year at the university in Wakanda at Shurri’s insistence, mostly so she could also study her powers, and then transferred here when it was clear she could use more guidance from Strange. He had avoided Wanda since day one. He had thought it was because Steve told him she could see his thoughts but now the reason was clear. He looked at her talking about life and school and even boys and he saw Becca. Despite his therapist’s insistence he pushed thoughts about his family especially Becca way down. He hated to think about them. About what they may have done and the life he missed out on with them. Steve took him last xmas to see their resting places and it hurt. It hurt more than anything he had ever been through.
Wanda had stopped talking and looked over at him. “James you are crying. What's wrong?” He was trying to gather himself but it was no use. “You just… you are a lot like her… your smile the way you talk about everything. I just..I can’t. I’ve tried so hard to deal with it but losing them… A piece of me died and it can't heal. It won’t be ok.” She pulled the car over and reached for his hand but he flinched away. “Remembering was even worse than not remembering them at all. It seems cruel. Steve had no one and then he got his last someone back but me...I’ve lost so much. They all died never knowing. They went on with their lives thinking I was lost in a mound of snow in the swiss alps when I was practically under everyone’s noses being torn apart and put back together and molded into a horrific killing machine.” He tried to choke back the sobs but it was too late the dam had broken. He had been bottling this up for too long.
He cried for a while trying to Get himself together but he was hysterical. Once he could finally force himself to speak he looked at Wanda "please….help me….make me forget them..I can't go on knowing them...remembering them." Wanda took his hands. "James, no. Don't say things like that. Don't ever say things like that. I know how hard it is to miss someone so much. I lost my brother shortly after we got free from Hydra. Tony….he reminds me of him so much. So much that it makes me angry. My family was killed when a Stark industries bomb was dropped on our house. I wanted for all the world to kill Stark. To hate him. Then we ended up fighting together and in that fight Pietro gave his life to protect Clint. A piece of my died that day just as it had when my parents were killed. I spent months wishing I had died with them. Steve began taking me to get coffee and telling me about his family, about you. He mentioned Becca a few times. I think for the same reason. It's ok to hurt but I'm sure there are some wonderful things to remember about them. Things worth holding onto." She squeezed his hand lightly and then pulled a handkerchief from her purse and handed it to him.
She carefully pulled out onto the road. They drove the rest of the way in silence. Once they pulled into the garage Bucky got out and pulled Wanda into a tight hug. "Thank you for listening and talking and thank you for not making me forget." She smiled and brushed the hair from his eyes. "I'm glad I could help. If you ever want help with some of the memories I can always go through them with you but I won't erase them. Hydra wanted me to hone that skill I think with you in mind. I never had the stomach for it. Not then not now." He nodded and let her go. "Thanks."
He got himself together and headed for Steve's floor. When he opened the door Steve was sitting at the table staring at his dinner as if it offended him. "Hey punk, Banner said we can try something new today." He put the thermos down on the table. "Here's that stupid thing you drink. O survived Wanda's driving to get it." Steve quickly popped the lid off and smiled as he took in the scent. "Buck you are a lifesaver. Remind me to thank Wanda." He took a sip of the drink and relaxed into the chair. "Thank god I can have some more flavor. This is amazing. You wanna try some Buck?" He shook his head. "Nah punk you are enjoying it too much. Maybe we can stop for another when Sam comes to get us on Wednesday." He smiled "I'm gonna hold you to that."