breaking up is hard to do
He had received two more lectures about Loki from Tony and Clint. Despite that he was currently in the back emergency stairwell with Loki's tongue rammed down his throat. "Damn doll ya gotta let me come up for air." Loki smirked "I thought a super soldier could handle anything." Loki now had him splayed out on the stairs. It was then that he looked up and saw Clint and Nat staring down at them. He quickly shoved Loki off.
"Shit. Do you guys mind?" Nat crossed her arms. "This is where you have been sneaking off to? How long has this been going on?" Clint smirked as Nat grilled them. "It's been going on a week Natalia and I would appreciate it if you'd just butt out." Her scowl deepened "Of all the people, I just hope you know what you are doing." He winked "I've had a good handle on it so far." Loki gave him a peck on the cheek and disappeared. "Well now that you chased my date away I'm going to shoot some things."
He was at the range for an hour before Bruce found him. "Hey how are you doing?" He didn't look away from his targets. "Are you here to lecture me too?" He smiled "no I came to tell you that Steve agreed you could leave the tower with me. I figured we could move game night back to the sanctum. Loki will feel better coming there." He put the gun down "you're alright you know that Banner?" He began to clean up the targets and put the rifle back. "I'm fine with the location change, especially if it means Loki will come."
He was practically skipping around the tower for the rest of the week. Tony crossed his arms. Is he always like this when he has a boy toy or whatever he wants to call it?" Bruce had been listening to most everyone complain about James and Loki. "I think the word you are after is girlfriend. Loki has been presenting female when with him,besides I think it's nice. Friday reported that he has not had as many nightmares in the last week or so." Steve had yet to look up from his plate. "Where is Barnes anyway?"
Natasha stepped into the kitchen "he's on the roof. Said he wanted some time outside." Steve didn't seem bothered by that but Tony was curious. "Friday, show me the roof." Friday pulled up the footage and Wanda giggled. "Someone's having dessert for breakfast." Steve looked up to see Bucky and Loki curled together feeding each other.
"Oh gag. Why didn't you warn us Fri?" The Ai was not playing his game. "Boss it would benefit you to know that since this past Saturday James has, for the first time since his arrival, met and most times exceeded his required calorie needs for the day and has gained at least 4 lbs." Steve looked ecstatic with that information. "He's actually eating enough? That's amazing. Tony, it's taken months to get him there, we can't mess it up." Tony grumbled and left for his workshop to pout.
Every time Loki was with him she would feed him. Each time it was a little more. Today it seemed like there was no end to it. He kissed her neck and pulled her close. "You trying to fatten me up Doll?" She smiled as she rubbed his stomach. "Yes. I am." She was now in his lap feeding him more food. Her other hand was resting on his thigh. "Doll, you can't keep playing with me like this." She grinned "Are you sure James? If you want to go further we can but I would prefer privacy. Friday is able to record us up here." She hopped up towards the door and he followed her into the elevator.
That evening their game night was more lively than ever. Bucky felt more comfortable with them and had no issue with them seeing him with Loki. Bruce couldn't help but smile. "Hey Loki it's your turn. Keep it up a d I'm gonna make you do a dexterity role before you can kiss James again." Strange began to laugh choking on his drink. Wong's eyes went wide. "That is the first time I have heard you laugh. I like it. We need to hear it more."
He wiped the soda from his beard "well, even I can't keep it together with Barnes trying to make out with Loki like it's going out of style. I bet this eats Stark up to see doesn't it?" Loki gave a wide grin. "Oh you know it does Stephen. If I recall he admitted to you that James has an ass that would make Baryshnikov jealous." The color drained from Bucky's face as Peter quickly dove over the table and grabbed him.
Loki looked frantically while the others seemed to almost expect this sort of thing despite how violently he was gasping and convulsing. "What on earth is wrong with him?" Strange had picked him up and was carrying him towards the guest room. "We must have stumbled upon an old trigger word used for deactivation. Best we can do is make him comfortable until it ends."
When he opened his eyes Loki was dozing in the chair nearby while Strange checked his vitals. "Welcome back. Sorry about that. Seems we found a trigger word. Do you feel like you can handle breakfast?" He shook his head. "No. I feel like I'm gonna puke if I even have to think of eating." He nodded "fair enough. Bruce will be by to pick you up just relax and sit tight until he gets here." Once he left Loki was sliding onto the bed with him. He laid his head down on Bucky’s shoulder. “I hope you still love me like this. I just...didn’t feel very….pretty today.” He wrapped an arm around him. “Nah. you’re still you. Thanks for staying. Sorry if I scared you.” There was a soft knock on the door.
“Morning, I came to take James home.” Loki got up from the bed. “Good morning Bruce. Make sure he gets some rest. I have some things to take care of today and I must be going.” Bucky frowned. “I think I scared him off. We have never spoken of the extent of my…..damages.” He carefully got up from the bed taking the hand Bruce offered to steady himself. “I’m sure he will come back. You guys seem to be doing well for each other the last two weeks. Just give him some time and space.” He nodded “yeah hopefully that's all it is.”
A few more days had gone by and there was no sign of Loki. Thor evaded questions about him when Bucky asked. Steve found him moping on Bruce’s couch watching a movie with him. “Bruce? You need me to take him? Friday said he was here.” He looked up from the screen “No he’s ok here. I will let you know if I need you.” Steve ran his hand through Bucky’s hair. “It’s gonna get better. I promise.”
He stepped out in the hall and saw Tony standing there. “I tried to tell him, Clint tried to tell you, you tried to tell him, hell Nat even tried to tell him but he just couldn’t listen.” Steve frowned and kept walking. “I don’t think now is the best time. Heartbreaks happen we all know that but right now he doesn’t need I told ya so he needs support. He was so damn happy with Loki i just….why did they have to do that to him? Not even a word a reason just poof gone.” They rounded the corner and walked straight into Thor.
He stood a moment and cleared his throat. “I think there has been a misunderstanding.” Steve gestured to his room and they walked inside for some privacy. “Whats up Thor?” They took a seat on the couch. “Loki tried to help settle James’s mind after the incident last week. It would appear they saw some….things. A woman with blue hair.” Steve froze “Oh god Thor that was months ago. She and Buck hooked up a few times but it didn’t last.” Thor frowned “Well that was the sticking thought it James’s head it was over powering everything.”
Steve sighed “Is it possible he’s been trying to be more…..close with Loki and that was the only point of reference his mind had? He’s been so scrambled by everything Hydra has done I'm surprised he even remembers to eat some days.” Thor sat back and considered his words. “This could be however Loki is a very emotional person and sometimes he does not stop to think before jumping to conclusions. Perhaps they got the impression that they were just a temporary play thing.” Steve nodded “I can get the conception and if this was the Bucky I knew in 1943 I would say absolutely but he doesn’t seem like he wants to be that way anymore.” Thor shrugged. “All I know is that Loki feels slighted and I dare say Darcy has not helped things at all. I will make my attempts to speak with Loki and try to reason but I feel this may take more time than one might desire.”
Bruce carefully comforted Bucky as he listened to Loki explain he needed space for a while. It made him angry that Loki chose to do it over a video call when he knew he could be there in person but he also accepted that both parties had so many other problems this might have been the safest for both of them. Loki said their peace and hung up leaving him to deal with the fall out. He was not prepared for the low pained moan that came from Bucky. “We can get through this, trust me. Give Loki some time. They let you explain and hopefully that will help. I’ve been through my share of breakups they suck.” He looked up at Bruce with wet eyes.
“I wish Hydra had ruined the part of my heart that could break.Why does it have to hurt so much?” Bruce patted his back as he hiccuped and offered him more tea. “Your brain produces a response because it doesn't quite know what it's doing. I know Hydra took so much away from you and it doesn't feel like it now but the fact that you can feel what you are feeling right now is so important. I would be more worried if you didn’t feel anything. You are still you, still human, you are and always will be Bucky Barnes and 70 years of hydras bullshit couldn’t take that from your core only hide it.” Bucky threw his arms around him and sobbed until he fell asleep. Bruce was left with no other choice than to gently sit back and keep him comfortable until Steve could come collect him.