Movie nights
He had been avoiding the first few movie nights. They were a bit crowded for his taste. He didn’t mind watching movies. It was just very difficult to deal with a room full of people. Dr. Fitz had urged him to make it to the next one to see how it went over all. He quietly slipped into the common room and sat down near Clint and Natasha. Even though Clint had a family of his own he came by once a month for movie night. Natasha nodded as he sat down and passed him a bowl of popcorn. “What are we watching?” She shrugged “Some kids movie Wanda picked out.”
The movie in question was called “Rise of the Guardians” and things could have gone better for him watching it. The whole concept was rough to say the least. Clint was the one that noticed he was shaking halfway through the movie but he said nothing only scooted a little closer. Natasha followed suit. It helped a little until things were beginning to trigger echoes in his head. A little girl with pigtails following him and Steve down the sidewalk giggling through a gaped grin. He took a strained breath and stood up.
“Hey! Terminator where ya going? Movies not over yet.” He shouldn’t have stopped to listen to Tony. He felt his knees give and it all came crashing down. He was now a sad sobbing mess on the common room floor. Steve helped him off the floor while Tony instructed Friday to stop the movie. Wanda brought him a blanket which he immediately wrapped around himself. Sam pulled up a chair and sat in front of him. “What happened?” His voice was steady and yet full of concern. He tried to tell him but he couldn’t seem to get himself together. Wanda placed a hand on his back and patted. “I’m sorry James. I should have considered the movies plot and mentioned it.” Natasha returned with a cup of tea and sat on the floor near Sam.
When it was clear he wasn’t able to tell them what was going on Steve pulled Sam aside. “I should have asked about the movie Sam. The whole story it’s just…. I think it reminded him of Becca. She and Buck were really close. She followed us everywhere. Think about it. a guy frozen comes out of it with no memories of his past.” Sam nodded. “Yea I watched this one with my nieces and nephews and I should have mentioned it but I didn’t know about Becca. Sadly the frozen in time plot is hard to avoid and he will have to face that but I see what your saying about this. I’ll make some notes of it for his therapist to review on Monday.” When they looked back over Bucky was gone. “Where did he go?” Natasha looked up at them, “He said he needed space. We kinda crowded him a bit.”
Wanda found him sitting on the roof still wrapped in her blanket. “James? May I join you?” He didn’t answer one way or another so she took a chance and sat next to him. She could see the memories flashing through his mind as plain as day and her heart broke. “You were very close?” he looked at her. “How did you know?” she took his hand. “I can see into people's minds, some better than others. I have done my best not to intrude upon your mind because I was worried I might see something I shouldn’t but right now I can’t avoid it. Steve is projecting a lot of the same memories. It’s all I can sense right now.”
“I can’t make sense of all of them. They just kind of hit me. It’s hard to ask Steve because it hurts him but at least he has all the pieces.” She smiled. “Well I have all the pieces too. I can help if you like.” She patted her lap. “Lay your head down and relax. I will go through each and every one with you if you like. Stop me if you need me to.” He hesitated but finally laid his had on her lap allowing her to run her fingers along his forehead and temples. It felt soothing and comfortable. She began to quietly describe the scenes to him. Trips to Coney Island and the beach, school dances, movies and pic nics. He was soon sound asleep. She quietly sent a text to Steve who came and took him to his room.
When he woke up the next morning, he felt a little better about the previous night. He quietly made his way down to Clint’s apartment in hopes he could use the shower. He still hadn’t worked up the nerve to tell Tony he didn’t like his. This was easier for now. Wanda was in the elevator when he got inside. “Morning. Did you sleep well?” He smiled at her. He knew what she had been through and yet she was so warm and cheerful. “Yeah I did ok. Thanks for last night. Sorry I ruined movie night. She shook her head. “No you didn’t ruin anything. We have all made movie night mistakes. You can ask Steve we have all been there.” She gave him a peck on the cheek and got out. “Have a nice day James.” When he got to Clint's floor He was still a bit flushed from the unexpected gesture. “How can she be like that after being Hydra’s lab rat?” he thought to himself.
Clint wasn’t in so he was able to shower and compose himself before joining everyone at breakfast. When he did there was no mention of what happened. Life went on as if the event never occurred at all. He knew he would have to deal with it on Monday at his therapy session but for now he considered it forgotten. He was grateful for it too. He didn't need that kind of baggage.