Trying to be Normal, and Failing
Peter is back at it helping MJ clean up in the kitchen. It’s been a few weeks since he had an accidental meet up with Wade, the strangely sincere guy who is quite possibly a mercenary, but Peter was willing to set that aside. For now. Who knows, maybe he will manage to meet up with him later on some day, but now is not the time to think about it.
No, what he should be thinking about is how he was an idiot and left his Spider-Man stuff on the roof, with a stranger, with a potential killer, who probably could put two and two together and then come after him. He was so focused on the time his teenage brain couldn’t comprehend that he had other things to do and take care of, even bite or not he was not a normal teenager at all.
He was incredibly lucky that Wade didn’t seem to notice the bundle, or that no one else took it. If Wade had seen it he probably would have cornered him by now, or someone would have turned in the infamous Spider-Man onesie. God, did he need an upgrade from that thing. It was all kinds of torn up from everything he’s done in it, and now he didn’t have a reliable place to sew it up anymore, quite honestly he didn’t feel like running around in only half a mask if it took anymore serious damage.
Suddenly a voice to his left piped up, “You okay there Peter?” Peter blinked quickly and turned over, eyes just so slightly widened at the guy suddenly striking up a conversation. He shook his head and offered a smile, “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Just thinking about something.” MJ seemed to tilt his head to the side just so slightly, “And what might you be thinking about?” Peter shrugged, “Oh just something. I know, you’re desperate to know but you’ll have to deal.” He teased him.
To say Peter has been doing better is kind of an overstatement, but an understandable assessment. To the others he seemed to be doing just fine, a little quiet but no one can really blame him. No one knew him before it all. He seems to be fine, and during the day he was able to distract himself well enough with all the things they gave them to do. Ranging from chores to schoolwork, but then he tried sleeping. Suddenly he wasn’t so fine. He was left alone in the dark, a quiet one at that too. The outside world still made white noise for him to drown in, but it’s never as loud as it was before with May.
He tries to lay down. Tries to get more sleep than normal. Tries to feel okay in those moments, but his thoughts always tend to drift back to the three largest days of his life. Being dropped off by his parents at Uncle Bens and Aunt May's house, not knowing quite why he was, but accepting it. Excited to get to spend a weekend with them, which suddenly turned to a decade. Even less with Ben.
He was four when he was dropped off at their house. At thirteen he went to OsCorp on an eighth grade field trip only to get bit. Sure he messed around with his new powers, but he never really used them for people. To save them. He was always too scared to. Then after he turned fourteen, freshman year of high school in October was when Ben was taken from him. He cried. He was angry, and suffering. Then only a few months later May was taken. Some luck he has.
These events always liked to make themselves known to him. All the time, especially when he tried to sleep. So he snuck out as Spider-Man. No matter how exhausted he was. Being tired to him was always better than having his mind race through it all. Then again sometimes even that didn’t work. Sometimes it just forced itself with him through the night, and only seemed to make his punches a little harder. Those nights he tends to do the smaller stuff. p>MJ looked around the kitchen quickly before leaning down to Peters height just a little, “Well if you want, because it’s a Saturday, and you’ve been here long enough, me and some of the other boys were thinking about heading out for a few hours tonight. We leave Jay here because he likes to tell Ms. Hyde everything, and also to kind of keep her distracted.” Peter couldn’t help but chuckled. Even in the short time he’s been here he’s noticed how much time Jay spends with Ms. Hyde and how much information is relayed to her from him.
With a bite to his lip, and a quick glance to the dishes in his hands he looked back up to him with a soft smile, “Yeah, yeah that sounds nice.” He let out a hum right after while he finished up, “So tell me, what kept the invitation from me all these weeks then?” Peter questioned almost playfully with the other boy. MJ nodded as if in thought, a smile coming across his features, tilting his head back to look up at the ceiling before coming down to look at him again. Shrugging, “Well, you were new. Not everyone gets the invite on their first weekend. Even I didn’t.”
Peter couldn’t help but let out a sharp laugh, leaning his back into the counter he raised a brow, “Even you? Oh my word, no one must have hope then if even you didn’t get the invite first go.” Peter would have to admit. He felt comfortable. This place wasn’t as bad as he thought it was going to be, maybe because of his low expectations that were met so quickly is why he was comfortable. Or maybe it was MJ who helped him through the rough transition. Maybe it was just how he felt. Who knows.
MJ lightly hit Peter’s arm in retaliation as he let out a chuckle, “Well I certainly didn’t have to wait as long as you.” With that Peter let out an offended gasp, a false expression of outrage being cracked by his inability to hold in a laugh, “How dare you!” He exclaimed. Soon the two were in a fit of chuckles and laughs, holding onto the counter and MJ’s arm Peter let out a loud laugh. Taking a moment before realization hit he paused, straightening up and yanking his hand back as he cleared his throat, “Uh, sorry about that.”
MJ only seemed to smile and shrugged once again, “It’s alright, I don’t mind.” Peter nodded and moved to walk off and head to his bedroom to do some research for himself. Letting time pass until MJ came in.
When he did he was all smiles, comically looking over his shoulder to make sure everything was going over well in the other room before closing the door, “Alright Pete, open the window. Let’s go.” A sound came out of Peter which was a good sign that he had no idea how to react to that moment, “The window? Are you serious? You can’t be serious.” He stated simply, but MJ just seemed to shrug and smirk at his statement, “Sounds like someone is chickening out. Even I didn’t do that my first time-” He was cut off by Peter, “No you know what I meant, it’s just,” a pause rested between them, “Doesn’t that really feel like breaking the rules?”
The other seemed to pause at the statement, looking down and to the other wall with a bit lip before sighing, “Listen, it’s just, just because it feels like we are, and we are a little bit, it’s for us. It’s not bad at all, just for the good of us. This is to feel good, you feel me?” He attempted to justify the rule breaking, struggling some as well, “Listen man, you’ve- we have all gone through some shit right? What’s going out and playing some basketball? It won’t hurt anybody and it’s all for us to be happy. That’s what it’s all about. The escape.”
The nod was slowly gained out of Peter the more he seemed to understand. Sighing as he ran a hand through his hair, “Yeah, yeah I get it. Let’s go.” He shot the other boy a soft smile only to be beamed one right back at full force.
Sure he’s climbed out of windows before, but these weren’t like those other times. He was still Peter Parker, not Spider-Man, and he was with someone. Someone he cared about and was ready to spend his night with, along with a few others they would meet up with at the court. The day was cool and breezy which Peter enjoyed. On the inside he felt warm and happy for it all, all the Parker luck and bad things seemed to be so far away as he and MJ walked down the sidewalk, even as eyes were glued to them on the way over. Soon enough he will be followed.
Peter still took no notice as he and MJ went head to head as the others watched, rowdy cheers and yelling flooded the area. Around people he knew he would of never let himself seem so good at something so physically demanding, but he could with them. Just this once, what was the harm in it? So getting the first hoop, and the next few after that he couldn’t help but let himself smirk at a slightly dumbfounded boy who quickly shook his head and replaced his expression with his normal, cool exterior, “I was going easy on you Parker.”
Peter let himself let out a small laugh, “You’re just saying that to make yourself look good.” “Are you saying you’re that good?” With that question it felt like it shouldn't hit or sink in as much as it did. Peter gulped and suddenly he was small again, he shouldn’t have been acting this way. It wasn’t like him, and he shouldn’t. What if they found out? What if they met someone from his past? What if someone found him?
A familiar itch found its way onto his forearm and he couldn’t help but scratch it, mumbling something along the lines of, “I have to go.” He was soon turned around and running off, faster than what anyone would have expected of any human. Panic seeped into his psyche and suddenly everything felt like some weird blur of time and constraints. His chest tightened and hurt immensely as his hands came up to rub at his eyes. At this moment he was just so fucked up as the attack ate him whole. It wasn’t something he could control.
Even with breaks from being Spider-Man the anxieties were still there and very present, and it felt like nothing could make them ever go away.
Soon he found himself, back against the brick wall in an alleyway with his eyes squeezed shut. Breathing pace picking up still. Tilting his head back to look up to the sky he let out deep breaths as he frowned. Ceasing the scratching of his arm to run his hands through his hair. His senses were strained and it almost hurt. Cars sounded both so loud but so far away as well, the cat stuck in a tree, the people in the building, everything just felt so muddled together except for one thing.
The footsteps.
Wait, the footsteps? Peter slowly managed to crank his head to the side to look the much older man in the eye as he spoke, “Hey there Kid.”