When Charles looked out of the window of the jet he could see the beautiful night sky. The clouds were far below them, so every star was clearly visible.
Logan, a few rows in front of them, stirred in his sleep, turned around and then kept snoring. Beast who was flying the jet hadn´t come out of the cockpit in a few hours now.
Charles and Erik were on their third round of chess and Erik was losing. He sat hunched over in his seat, his eyes glued to the chessboard, his face a picture of perfect concentration. Those few seconds before the next turn gave Charles the chance to study his face.
Erik had been a stunningly attractive man from day one but somehow aging made him even more appealing to Charles. He vividly remembered the nights during their roadtrip, the squeaking of the bed while they made love, their entangled bodies, the smell of sweat post-orgasm, sharing a cigarette and kissing in the quiet of the night. It seemed to have happened a lifetime ago.
Charles´ final move put his opponent into checkmate. Erik sighed in defeat and it looked like he tried not to pout. Even though Charles had vowed to never look into Erik´s head again he now wondered what his mind might look like after all this time.
Erik was an enigma. His mind was usually clear and sharp, he was a problem-solving machine like no other. Charles could have spent hours roaming around his mind, admiring the perfected processes. Admiring Erik. His Erik. His Erik who had left Charles scared and hurt on a beach in Cuba.
“You´ve won,” Erik said and disrupted Charles´ thoughts. “What do you want as a price?”
This had been one of their games back then, before Cuba was even a thought on their minds. The price usually involved getting rid of clothes gradually and always ended in bed (or sometimes even on the carpet, if Charles remembered correctly).
“I don´t want anything,” Charles answered, trying to force his lips into a smile. He knew too well how much Erik hated losing, even if it was only a game of chess.
Erik raised a brow, obviously not happy with that answer. Suddenly, Charles felt a tension between them that hadn´t been there since Charles punched Erik in the face a few hours earlier. He still refused to feel bad for that, though.
But Erik could sense that Charles was lying. There was something he wanted from Erik, even after all those years of loving and hating him viciously.
“I want to hug you,” Charles finally admitted.
“Hug?” Erik looked slightly confused, his eyes focused on Charles.
“You have been in solitary confinement for ten years.” What left unspoken hung heavy between them. “I know you need someone to hold you as much as I do. I know you´ve been hurting. I know that you know that I missed you.”
Erik nodded. A quick motion of his head, easily missed, but Charles was already on his feet. Erik rose from his seat, his eyes cold, his face unmoved. He was wearing a mask to hide his feelings, maybe to protect his broken heart. Charles could only assume it was broken, he still wanted to believe Erik had loved him as much as Charles did the other way round.
Carefully he wrapped his arms around Erik who was all hard edges, strong muscle and perfect jawlines. Charles felt the tension in Erik´s body as if he wanted to avoid the touch but craved it at the same time.
Charles just kept hugging the other man who let out the softest sigh ever heard in this world, before he closed his eyes and finally let his body settle against Charles´. His smell and warmth were overwhelming after all this time apart. Charles had dreamed about the day he would meet Erik again and in those dreams he was torn between punching Erik in the face and hugging him to never let go again. And now he had both. He hated Erik for leaving him but at the same time he loved Erik just the same.
Slowly, Charles brought a hand up to his neck. He longed to touch the bare skin. Erik melted under the touch, pressing his body against Charles´ until neither of them could define exactly were his own body ended and the other body began.
Charles wondered if Erik had been touched at all during those long ten years in prison for a crime he didn´t commit. There were plenty of other crimes that would have justified Erik´s imprisonment but only under humanely circumstances. Erik was a man after all, not a monster to be caged. He needed love and reassurance and hugs just like everyone else, even if he fought that notion with all he had. Erik probably wished to turn into a machine but Charles was happy he hadn´t.
During the months after Erik´s betrayal Charles had cried his eyes out and had wished more than once his heart would stop beating just to ease the pain. And in the months that followed after he had wished for Erik to feel the same pain. Never once had Charles reached a point where he could just forget about Erik and don´t care about his feelings anymore. He did not dare to ask Erik if he went through the same stages of grief after their breakup.
Instead he wrapped his arms even tighter around Erik, his hands pressed against his back. Suddenly, Erik flinched in his embrace. Charles immediately took his hands off the other man, thinking just for a second that he had fucked up but Erik didn´t let go, yet.
“Hurts,” he said quietly. It sounded strangely vulnerable. “Got some bruises there.”
Charles carefully wrapped his arms around his waist again. He didn´t want this to end – ever. No kisses, no heated touches, no telepathic connection, just hugging and holding each other for all eternity. It took Charles several tries before he managed to collect his scattered thoughts.
“Did they torture you?” he wanted to know. He didn´t really peg Erik for the kind of person to self-harm but on the other hand he had never really known those dark sides of Erik Lehnsherr.
Erik shrugged, not answering for a few, long seconds.
“I deserved it.”
Charles winced, feeling his heart breaking right then and there.
“No one deserves that, my friend.”
Erik didn´t reply.
They stayed like that for a long time, quietly hugging each other, making up for the time they didn´t get to. And when the sun rose, bathing them in warm and comforting light, Charles felt alright for the first time in years.