New Beginning
It was official, I decided as I ran a weary hand through my flat, tired hair and yawned loudly. I am never doing this again. Never, ever! Flying sucked on a good day, what with the small cramped seats, toilet cubicles that could only be used comfortably if you folded yourself in half, and the often times overpowering stench of pungent deodorant covering up even worse B.O, and that was just flying across the country. Now take all of those awful, annoying things and add dry, recycled fart laced cabin air, bland or overly salty food and threats of deep vein thrombosis stretched over a 20 hour international flight and 5 hour domestic connection, and it was enough to convince me that when the door of this god forsaken plane opened and I stepped out onto the tarmac, I was never flying again. Nope. I was done.
“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Perth Airport,” the flight attendant announced over the intercom. “The local time is 5.35pm and it's a mild 33 degrees...” Wait, did she sound like she was laughing? I could have sworn I heard her laughing. They used degrees celsius in Australia, right? What exactly was that converted to fahrenheit?
“Oh Christ...” I heard the man occupying the seat in front of me mutter to the woman who was beside him before he turned to press his face against the window. “Out of the nice cold and straight back to the shitty heat! I wish I was back in Houston.” He breathed this sigh that was so deep, his exhale fogged up the plexiglass. I had to mentally pinch my mouth closed so I wouldn't make an audible scoff. My gaze followed and I took in my first view of the airport as we were turning and taxiing towards the terminal. I wasn't sure if 33 degrees celsius was considered warm as the attendant seemed to hint at – with an edge of mirth mind you – or not, but by the look on this guys face I wasn't optimistic. But if his thick, Australian accent told me anything, it was only to confirm that there were a rare breed of people that purposefully escaped the heat of summer to find refuge in the colder climates, such as winter in Texas of all places. I mean honestly, why the hell would you choose cold over heat?
“For your safety and comfort, pleaseremain seatedwith your seat belt fastened until the Captain turns off the Fasten Seat Belt sign. Please ensure your devices continue to remain in flight mode until we are at the terminal...”
“Daddy?”
My eyes snapped back and down to the little body slumped over and squished into the side of me, her brunette head lifting slowly as she rubbed sleep from her drowsy, brown eyes. This little girl, the cutest little nugget I'd ever seen in my entire 41 years of life, dragged her gaze up to me and let out a small puff of air akin to a snore. I couldn't help but smile, taking her tiny chin between my thumb and forefinger to bring her eyes to focus on mine. “Wakey wakey princess, we're here.” I kept the 'finally' to myself in favor of pinching her little cheek. “Sit up straight babe. I'm just gonna make sure we have all our stuff.”
I gathered up any trash that had happened to accumulate during our flight, stuffing them into the small plastic bag I'd kept when I brought my favorite whisky at the duty free shop and put all the leaflets and emergency procedure pamphlets back into the seat pouches. They were a little worse for wear having been scribbled in with a variety of colored pencils, and the in-flight magazine was practically torn to shreds. But hell, when a moody toddler decided 30,000 feet in the air was the best time to throw a mega sized tantrum because she was over tired and refused to sleep, letting her destroy the air plane literature was a fair compromise if it kept her quiet.
A final bump and jostle told me the plane had docked at the terminal. Around me the other passengers were quickly leaping to their feet – before the seat belt sign had been turned off I noticed – and were just as hungry to get off this plane as I was. Travelling internationally with a toddler, as beautiful and as endearing as she is, would have broken a younger, dumber me. Even so, I was never getting back on a plane with her until she was at least a teenager and could zone out watching movies or listening to music while I happily liquored myself up. I'd grown stronger over the last couple of years. A lot stronger. I'd had to.
“Can we get off now, daddy?” Morgan asked me in her small, tired voice. “No more plane please.” Her brow crinkled as she narrowed her eyes. Shit. I knew that look. Countdown to tantrum in 5...4...3...
“Yes baby, we're getting off now.” I heard the ding overhead that told me the seat belt sign had been turned off and I unbuckled quickly, standing to fetch the luggage stowed in the compartment above us before finally letting Morgan free from her belt and lifting her to stand on the seat so she could stretch out her legs. The aisle was full of passengers, but it wasn't long before we were slowly herded from the aircraft and out onto the stairs leading to the tarmac.
The heat hit me like a punch to the face and for a split second I struggled to breathe. With every inhale it felt like a plastic bag was being put over my head to suffocate the shit out of me. It reminded me of that moment when you opened an oven and a rush of heat and steam slammed into your face if you were stupid enough to stick your head there in the first place. Morgans fingers tightened around mine as she too squirmed at the temperature, lifting her other hand to shield her face from the bright sun. This was very, very different from the dry heat of California. This was thick and humid, like fingers creeping up your neck to slowly and subtly strangle you without you realizing it. I mentally kicked myself for thinking coming to Australia in January, which to my surprise the height of summer, was a good idea. I should have known better. Well, I did. I mean, I wasn't stupid. I knew the seasons were reversed compared to the United States, but for one reason or another I just blanked on that vital piece of information until it was too late. I did have other, more pressing matters on my mind however. Like selling the house, procuring a shipping container for the items I wanted shipped across the ocean for us and selling everything I wasn't too sad to see go and sorting all our visas and immigration papers. That had been the most important and taken the longest. I'd started the paperwork months ago when I found out I was eligible to apply for a Skilled Visa, and thanks to my expertise as a small engines and motorcycle mechanic, I was practically given a golden path into the country.
Thinking it would be easier to just carry my borderline grumpy four year old, I hoisted her onto my hip and made my way down the steps and along the path, following the big yellow arrows and ground crew to the entrance of the terminal, wheeling the brown and black carry on suitcase behind me. As soon as we entered the large double doors, made our way up the stairs and then through another set of smaller doors, we were finally in the thick of the international airport among a throng of people. I set Morgan down beside me to reach into my jeans pocket and pulled out my cell phone, flicking through the options to turn off the air plane mode and enable my WiFi. It took seconds for my phone to ding to life, the notification rings coming one after the other. There were nine in total. Five of the texts and one missed phone call was from Happy, no doubt wanting to fuss and mother hen me even from the other side of the planet. There were a couple from my old colleagues at the workshop back in California sending me well wishes and the like. But it was the single text from 'platypus' that caught my immediate attention. I tapped on it to read it.
At baggage claim. Move your ass. Carol has dinner ready and I'm getting hangry! - Rhodes
James 'Rhodey' Rhodes. My one and only. My best friend. My brother from another mother. We'd been joined at the hip since we were kids, before he went and enlisted in the military as soon as he turned 18 and was consequently shipped all over the planet, ripping our little twosome apart. We'd stayed in contact constantly though through the years, always being there in person for the big milestones if we were able. He'd flown to the States for my wedding as my best man, I'd flown to Australia for his to do the same. We'd even been there for each others birth of our firstborns, or 'only-born' in my case. I'd also been there the day he got out of surgery after a nasty injury with an IED left him an amputee from the left knee down. And he'd been there to hold me together while I grieved at Peppers' funeral with a one year old in my arms clueless as how to be a single, widowed father.
I smiled down at my phone. I'm coming, I replied. Be a dear and get our suitcases would you platypus. I took Morgans hand in my own and led her towards the baggage claim area when my phone dinged again with nothing but a small, brown middle finger emoji.
~~***~~
“Tony!”
It didn't take me long to pick out Rhodes from the crowd, he was the only one beaming a wide toothed grin and waving his hand in the air. I visibly snickered and shook my head, flinging myself into his open arms. He pulled me into a giant bear hug knocking the air out of my lungs. It surprised me just how little effort at all it took to lift him off the ground, but I squeezed him back with just as much vigor.
“Looking good there partner,” I mumbled into his shoulder and feeling the faint sharpness of bones under his blue collared shirt. “Where's the rest of ya? Carol mustn't be feeding you enough?” He claps me on the back before drawing me out to arms length so he can flick me right in the middle of my forehead.
“Don't let her hear you say that,” he says trying to ruffle my hair; the bastard. “You know she has supersonic hearing. She'll have you walking home if you're not careful.”
I can't help but snort and grin. “I bet.”
He kneels down then, coming eye to eye with the little monster trying her hardest to use my legs as a cloaking device. “Hello again Morgan,” he says with a sickly sweet smile, “It's been along time since I saw you last.”
“Hello.” Her reply is curt, but I can see the corner of her mouth quirk a little.
“Don't be shy, babe,” I manage in my most encouraging tone, “you remember Rhodey don't you?”
She seemed to ponder a moment before finally stepping out from the safety of my legs and offered him a knowing smile. But instead of a 'hello' she stuck out her foot and pointed her toes downwards to show off her gold and silver glittered sandals I'd brought her before leaving the States. “I got new shoes,” she said happily, “They're sparkly.”
My eyes rolled hard to the back of my head. Classic Morgan. To hell with introductions, just straight to showing off her shoes. Rhodey on the other hand bubbled up with laughter. “Yes I see, very sparkly.”
I shrugged. “What can I say, she's a show off, like her father.”
Forty five minutes later and we were sitting comfortably in Rhodeys Audi navigating the early evening traffic that thankfully had absolutely nothing on the horrid traffic of California. Morgan, strapped in the booster seat in the back, had dozed off before even leaving the airport terminal car park, the poor thing. I'd have to make sure to make it up to her tomorrow.
“Fair warning Tony, Carols been so excited to see Morgan,” Rhodes said, “Though I think it's more to do with the chance to dress her up all girly girl like. She's been out shopping for clothes and everything. Like.... poofy dresses man. Princess dresses. Be prepared.”
Hilarious. “Perhaps you should give her a daughter then,” I joked.
“Two boys are more then enough.” Rhodes laughed. “Maybe we'll get lucky next time. She has been cooking up a storm for dinner though, so make yourselves at home. After you've eaten I'll take you down to your unit. We finished up the last of the renovations yesterday morning so it's good to go.”
I nodded. Both gratitude and embarrassment rearing it's ugly two-faced head. A few years ago Carol had been lucky (or unlucky depending on how you looked at it) to inherit her uncles properties after he'd passed away. Much to her surprise though, it wasn't just the single house. He'd left her what equated to be a god damned gated block of villas consisting of five rented out, stand alone units spread out over a very decent sized acreage, and a large townhouse to oversee the residents. It had, however, given Carol and Rhodey the opportunity to move their growing family out of the cramped housing on base and into the townhouse as the newly appointed landlords. Then, as luck would have it, one of the older residents had decided it was time to move into an assisted living facility and moved out leaving them a tenant short and a very happy man with a shit-eating grin face-timing me day and night with an offer I just couldn't refuse. He got me. It was the final nail in the coffin I'd needed to decide once and for all to pack up our lives in L.A and fly to the other side of the world. I had taken the very kind offer of a place to live, but refused the reduced rent he'd put forward. I was more then willing and able to pay our way. I was extremely thankful, but I wasn't a charity case.
“I no I've said it a million times, but thanks again.” We exchanged a smile.
“Dude, it's our pleasure,” he said. “It's a nice place too. Down the back and away from the main road. It's also the only one with a decent sized yard. The old tenant had a small dog that destroyed the gardens but we fixed it up and laid new turf. A slide and a swing set and Morgan will have it all.”
This man was such a fucking treasure.
“So, how you doing anyway?” He asked after a few quiet moments. I shrugged.
“I'm fine.”
“Hey. Don't bullshit me Stark.” I noticed him side-eyeing me. “How are you really?”
I sighed. I should have seen this coming...considering.
“It was 3 years yesterday, what can I say?” Three years since I became a widower. “I keep getting older but the hurt stays the same. There are days when all I can think about is how much I miss her but am also so angry that she won't get the chance to see Morgan grow up. But then there are other times when days or weeks will go by and I'm in the middle of doing some mundane task and it hits me like a kick in the gut that I haven't thought about her at all. I'd be lying if I said it didn't scare me that one of these days I'm going to completely forget her.”
“Nah.” Rhodey didn't take his eyes of the road, but as he spoke it felt like he was looking me dead in the eye to get his point across. “I get it, but that's just impossible. I mean, look at her.” My attention unconsciously went to the sleeping figure behind me, her little red cheeks puffing in and out as she snored silently. “How could you ever possibly forget Pepper when she left behind the best fucking memory she could ever impart. Sure, one day you'll move on and the time you had together may fade somewhat, but you'll never forget. Moving on is just a part of the process and it's nothing you should feel guilty about. And you shouldn't feel guilty about not thinking about Pepper every moment of every day. It's been four years. The Pepper I knew wouldn't want you wallowing around forever. She'd want you to find someone that makes you happy. Or a dog. You know, which ever is easiest.”
“Gee, thanks.” I deadpanned.
He laughed.”You know what I mean dork. Just, stop being so hard on yourself. OK?”
I couldn't help the smile spreading across my face as I leaned back in my seat and folded my arms across my chest to relax. “Yes, Mom.”
That earned me another flick on the forehead while my eyes were closed. The bastard.
~~**~~
Rhodey hadn't been lying when he said Carol went all out for dinner. The dining table was decked out in an elaborate roast lamb meal with all the sides and fixings and a couple of bottles of wine. As soon as we'd entered the door Carol had given me a quick peck on the cheek and promptly whisked Morgan away to 'tend to her highness' as she put it, by freshening her up and putting her in an overly poofy-fied dress with Elsa's' face plastered all over the bodice. Poor Carol, if only she knew Ana was clearly Morgans favorite; not to mention the heart of the whole movie. She did look super cute though.
Their two boys, six year old Marcus and two year old Rae, were heartily shoving food in their mouths, or face in Rae's' case, and Carol was fussing over filling a plate for Morgan and myself. I'd last seen her when Rhodey was discharged from hospital after his surgery three years ago, but it seemed like she hadn't aged a day. Her hair was shorter, and she may have had a few more laugh lines, but she was still a beauty.
“Hey hun, can you do a plate for Thor please?” Rhodey said over his shoulder as he mopped up the smooshed mashed potato over Rae's mouth. “He called earlier. It seemed like the bar was really busy and without his head chef you know he's not going to have eaten anything. I'll drop it off to his place when I take Tony down back.”
My ears perked up. “Thor?”
“Uh, yeah. He rents one of our units. He manages the local sports bar on the Esplanade. It's the most popular pub in town.”
“Speaking of”, Carol interjected, “I got in touch with my old colleagues about that job in the engineering department. Mostly governmental work but some private, more experimental stuff if you're interested. They were pretty impressed with your qualifications. They seemed fine with providing you enough work to satisfy the minimal requirements of your visa. I gave them your number so you should hear from them in the next few weeks.”
I nodded, swallowing down a mouthful of mint jelly smothered lamb, “Cool, thanks.” Until then I'd have to find a part time job. I didn't want to dive into our savings if I didn't have too. “I really don't know how I'm going to repay you guys for this.”
“Don't be silly Tony,” Carol said, “You're family.” She covered my hand with her own from across the table, “I'm just glad you finally decided to come here. I know it was a big decision, but I really think Morgan will enjoy it here. You needed a fresh start too.” I squeezed her hand back briefly before focusing on my meal again, but this time not even the delicious buttery taste of lamb could mask the rising feeling of embarrassment and the sense of charity again.
So I did what I always do, I squashed those feelings down as far as they would go, content in the fact that Carol and Rhodey never intentionally meant to keep bringing up mine and Morgans unfortunate loss to hurt us, but only because they really, actually cared. All it took was one look around this dining table and the people at it that proved that point. Morgan and Marcus were keeping themselves entertained by showing each other the chewed up food in their mouths with young Rae trying desperately to join in the fun but settling for just throwing his peas and mashed potato instead. Rhodey was right there laughing, encouraging his youngest boy to at least try and get one pea in his bothers gaping mouth. Carol on the other hand was being run ragged trying to reign the three kids and her husband in. A small voice in my head was telling me I should reprimand Morgan for playing with her food, but the look on Carol's face told me she enjoyed fussing over them, Morgan included. I didn't have the heart. Also, the look of just downright joy on my little nuggets face was enough to stop me dead. I hadn't seen her look this happy in a long, long time.
Fuck, I missed this.
An hour and two bowls of orange chocolate chip ice cream later and I was ready to drag my old bones into bed. Morgan was fighting to keep her eyes open, clearly tuckered out from the long flight, drive and playtime with the boys. Rhodey helped take our bags while I carried miss madam down the barely lit lane towards out new home. We passed by the few other properties in this gated community on the way, but I was too tired to snoop. I did notice the sound of rock music come from one house in particular which did peak my interest, so I made a note to pop in there in the morning, as well as the other homes, to introduce myself. Our house was down the very end.
“I just gotta pop in at Thor's and drop off his plate.” Rhodey said, veering off to the left and up a well manicured footpath. “Keep going down the road, you're at the back. I'll catch up with you in a minute.”
A small part of me was curious about my new neighbor, but I was dragging my feet as it were, and when the front yard to my new home came up, I double-timed it up the path, dug awkwardly in my pocket for the keys and went straight inside. It was pretty damn big inside, clean and mostly white with light grey accents. It still smelled faintly of fresh paint. The whole house would need a good airing out in the morning. I decided to forgo exploring too closely and made a bee-line for the hallway and poked my head into the first room I came across. Rhodey had mentioned he'd left the guest bed up and a few other pieces of basic furniture and appliances until our shipping container arrived from the States. It wasn't due for another couple of days, so we'd be living pretty simple until then. Finding the queen-sized bed, I set about changing Morgans clothes into something more comfortable to sleep in, much to her chagrin, and tucked her in under the blankets. We only had the one bed for now, so we'd have to share.
Rhodey arrived a few minutes later, setting my bag on the counter so I could rummage through it for my toothbrush. “I hope everything is OK Tony,” he said giving the open planned kitchen and dining area the once over. “When your stuff arrives It should feel a lot more like home.”
“It's fine, Rhodes. More then fine, even. It's fucking amazing.” He snorted and it made me laugh. “Honestly, I love it.”
He nodded. “Good then. Look, I know you're tired and probably just want to hit the sack but I just want to say I'm sorry. I know you hate feeling like a charity case, but I want you to know that Carol and I don't see you like that all.”
My smile fell then. “Rhodes, it's OK...”
He held up his hand to cut me off. “No, it's not. I just...I'm just glad you're here. You're not just my best friend you know. You're my brother. And what's family for if not for times like this?” He clapped me on my shoulder, a grin curling the corner of his mouth. “You know, to continuously hound you until you uproot your old comfortable life and drag you half way around the world, thrust you into a new job with complete strangers and subject poor Morgan to strange new places and people. I mean, this whole venture could just as easily turn to a big pile of steaming shit that has you regretting the move in the first place.”
“So you're like a shitty brother then?” I asked, returning his grin.
“More like a concerned older brother that takes the happiness of his idiot sibling personally, even if he doesn't want me too.”
“Can't you just give a noogie and be done with it?”
Rhodey laughed at loud. “Careful, I just might. I'm serious though, and I promise not to bring it up again.” He smiled at me then. A real, genuine smile. “I just want you to be happy man.”
I nodded, “I know, and I – we – are. Truly.” I gave him a quick hug before nudging him to the door. “But it's getting late and I'm tired. So unless you want to tuck me in, go away so I can get some sleep. I promise I will let you hound me in the morning. After you've made breakfast of course.”
“I'll let you tell Carol that, if you're brave enough.” He was still laughing as I was closing the door. “Good luck with that.”
“G'night platypus.”
Whether he heard me through the door or not I wasn't sure, but I was much too tired to care by that point. I did contemplate having a shower at first, but instead settled for just brushing my teeth, changing into a clean pair of pajama bottoms and carefully crawled into bed next to Morgan who was softly snoring her little head off. Over the last 24 hours I hadn't had a moment to actually relax and think about what would be in store for us. I was just so focused on actually getting here and now that we were here, and I'd had a moment to breathe, I would have to start planning what our next move would be. I needed work, Morgan needed a preschool, kindergarten or some kind of day care. A car first and foremost. I took a deep, draining sigh as I sunk into the mattress. As soon as my head hit the much-too-soft pillow, I was drifting, thinking and planning.