Peter IV
Wade chatted the entire cab ride back to Queens. He talked expertly about absolutely nothing. Peter listened, but Wade’s rambling faded into background noise, and Peter’s eyes started to droop.
“Wakey wakey, baby boy.” Peter’s eyes flew open and he gasped.
“Oh my God,” he said, grabbing his chest. “I didn’t know I was asleep.” Wade looked amused from above Peter, who had slid halfway down the seat into a scrunched up mess. Spidey flexibility though, at least he wouldn’t be sore from sleeping like a pretzel.
“We gotta get out on your side, so don’t fall out,” Wade said as he reached past Peter for the door handle. Peter grabbed his backpack and stretched as he stood up. He felt a little better with the threat arrested gone, but his nerves were shot. He was so jumpy that his skin itched, and he wondered if he’d ever feel normal again.
“You have your phone back,” Wade said, gesturing to where Peter already had it in his hand, the Gen Z security blanket. “So out with it. Ask all the questions a baby spider should know.” He gave Peter a pointed glance, and Peter sagged. He had intended to avoid this conversation for as long as possible, preferably forever. But Wade had the cab drop them off five blocks away, so here they were.
“Can we just not?” Peter pleaded. “It’s just - I have 99 problems and Deadpool is like, the 98th. I just want to - put it in a box for now, and deal with it later.”
Wade slung his arm around Peter’s shoulders. “But the thing is, that’s bullshit. That is some advanced level Catholic avoidance shit that Matty is putting in your head.” He tapped Peter’s forehead for emphasis. Peter glared at him. It felt like Wade, Matt and Foggy had spent a lot of time discussing Peter outside of his presence, and it rankled him.
“So what do you suggest?” Peter snapped. He was agitated, but Wade didn’t take the bait.
“Figure out where you stand, baby boy,” Wade said softly. “You can either live with me or not.”
“But I like you.” Peter’s heart clenched. “I am freaking out about all of this,” he gestured at the skyline, “But I feel okay with you. Safe, I guess.”
“You imprint like a duckling,” said Wade, not unkindly. Peter bristled. He took out his phone and started typing.
“Can baby ducks reimprint after half a dozen dead parents?” Peter said under his breath. Wade sucked in unhappily as Peter stormed off ahead of him.
Wade only let Peter go for a few seconds before catching up. “That was outta line, I’m sorry,” he said, grabbing Peter’s arm and facing him. He was still wearing the rhinestone hoodie, his face mostly hidden. Peter could see enough to tell that Wade was sincere, but it stung that he could read Peter so easily. “How about one time permission to avoid this particular conversation without me calling you a Daredevil avoidance clone?”
Peter smiled, and Wade’s shoulders relaxed. “How did you end up here during the blip?” Peter asked, relieved to change the subject.
“Well, I actually live here, most of the time, but I didn’t work here before, because I’m not a total fucking moron.” He glanced at Peter. Ah, right, enhanced mercenary in a city full of supes would be a hard no.
“But then half of everyone disappears, so I make my way back to New York, and there is already an official notice from Child Services taped to my door.”
“About Ellie?”
“Yep, my very own nine year old that I never knew existed.” Peter stopped suddenly and looked up at Wade.
“You didn’t know?” Wade looked nonchalant about the entire situation, but he’d had five years to adjust to it.
“Well no, but I don’t blame her mama. I used to be pretty, Peter, but I’ve always been a sonofabitch.” Wade ran his hand over his head, a stubborn habit from when he had hair. Peter couldn’t imagine him as not-Deadpool. Laughing off a hail of bullets seemed like an integral part of his being.
“So they just dropped a kid on you, like that?” Peter asked. “I thought there was some kind of a process, maybe?”
“Like who is going to give Deadpool a kid to raise, DNA aside?” Wade raised his nonexistent eyebrows at Peter. Peter flushed and started to apologize, but Wade cut him off.
“It’s alright, baby boy. You’re not wrong, but things were different after the dusting,” Wade said. “There were kids with no parents everywhere, and it was like child custody puzzle pieces all over the country. Carmelita, and we obviously did not part on good terms, told Ellie that her daddy was Wade Wilson, he’s in New York City, and he is a bad man so don’t go looking for him even if you think you wanna know him. And that’s all the info a social worker in Illinois needed to find me up here.”
“That is...wild,” said Peter. Wade nodded in agreement.
“And believe it or not, Petey, my background check comes back clean.” Deadpool didn’t leave loose ends. Peter decided not to dwell on that. “So,” Wade continued, “I give the social worker a call and within 48 hours, I meet this tiny little thing with braids who takes one look at me and says, ‘Well, aren’t you an ugly sucker. Got any games on your phone?’”
Wade sighed deeply. “And I was in love,” he said fondly. Peter thought it was sweet. The pair walked in comfortable silence the rest of the way to Peter’s building. As happy as he was to be home, Peter hesitated.
“She’ll be mad,” Peter said. He texted May in the cab, but she wanted to call him and he texted her not to, that he’d be home soon. He was sure that he hurt her feelings, or she would think that he wasn’t safe, or there were surely several other things that could go wrong. His breath stuttered.
“Let’s not on the hyperventilating,” Wade said, taking Peter’s hand and placing it on his chest. “Breathe with me, baby boy.” Peter inhaled sharply, but his next breath was calmer. “She’ll just be happy to have you home.”
Wade walked Peter up to his apartment, following Peter in when he opened the door. May grabbed him and squeezed him into a hug before he could take in anything else.
“Oh honey, I’m so glad you’re okay,” she said tearfully. Peter pulled back to look at her face.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice thick with tears. He took a deep breath and took in his surroundings. Chip bags and energy drink cans everywhere, like the apartment was home base for find-Peter operations. Happy stood near the door, not subtle as he looked Wade over. He came over to Peter and patted his back.
“Good to have you home, kid.” Happy’s eyes were just a little red-rimmed, and guilt flared in Peter. He swallowed tightly.
“Hey,” said May, turning his head toward her again with a hand under his chin. “None of that now. You’re home. It’ll be okay.” Peter nodded and looked away, finally locking eyes with the only other person in the room.
MJ sat perched on the back of the sofa, her socked feet pressed into the cushions. She fidgeted with the fleece blanket that was across her lap. Peter pulled away from May and hesitantly approached her. MJ never took her eyes off him, and he offered her a hand. His heart was hammering in his chest. If she couldn’t forgive him, he didn’t know what he was going to do.
She took his hand and threw her arms around him. Peter wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in her neck, breathing her in. Everything had been so overwhelming, and Peter’s senses were so fucked right now, but MJ just felt right. And Peter promptly burst into tears.
MJ tensed and Peter tried to pull away, but she squeezed him tighter. “Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay,” she soothed quietly. Peter sobbed harder. MJ was not a crier. It was unfair of him to make her deal with his messiness, but thinking about that just made him cry harder.
“I’m s - sorry,” Peter managed to get out between sobs. MJ shushed him and pulled away just enough to pull his hoodie up to shield his face.
“We need a minute,” she said to the room of adults as she steered Peter toward his bedroom. MJ shut the door, pulled Peter’s hoodie off over his head and pressed her lips against his. Peter felt like he was awake for the first time in days. He slid his hands along MJ’s waist, under the hem of her shirt, and deepened the kiss. She squeaked in surprise, and Peter smiled against her lips. The kiss got heavier and MJ abruptly pulled back.
“You’re an ugly crier, Parker,” she said gently, her tone kinder than her words. She brushed the tears off his cheeks. Peter huffed a breath and buried his face in her neck.
“Everything feels so awful,” he mumbled. MJ played with the curls around his ears, and he sighed contentedly. “I can like, hear and smell all of Queens. It kind of makes me want to throw up. But you block it all out.”
MJ hummed, and he felt the vibration from his chest to his toes. “I’ve always wanted to be someone’s noise canceling headphones,” MJ said, without a hint of humor.
“Why you gotta be such a meanie?” asked Peter, trailing kisses down her neck. Peter could survive on the memory of the little breathy noise she made. He dug his fingers into her hips and slid his leg in between hers.
“Jesus fuck,” she breathed, which only encouraged him. Peter needed her, desperately, worse than anything. He kissed her again, her mouth hot and her fingers cool, stroking across his belly where she’d snuck her hands under his shirt.
“I need to be inside you,” he whispered against her mouth.
“Oh my god,” MJ whispered. She pulled away to look at him. Her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes lingered on Peter’s lips. “Not that I don’t -“ she stumbled over her words, and Peter resisted the temptation to shove her up against the wall. Barely. “But your aunt and Happy are in the next room, and I just don’t think I can be that quiet, Peter.” MJ winked, and Peter lost the upper hand. She was so hard to tease. She laughed when he blushed.
“You’re still all teary,” she said, one hand stroking his cheek gently. “You want me to fend off the mothering? I’ll tell May you’re going to bed.”
“Please,” Peter said, suddenly exhausted. His emotional regulation was nonexistent at the moment. “You’ll come back?”
MJ rolled her eyes. “Obviously, Peter. I think May is going to overlook it this one time if I spend the night in your room.” Peter sat down heavily on his bed and flopped over onto his pillow. So comfortable.
“You slept in my bed last night, too,” he said into the pillow. He breathed in deeply again and gave MJ an amused look. “With Ned?”
MJ threw up her hands. “You boys are needy.”
“You don’t mean it,” Peter pouted playfully.
“Oh, I do,” she answered. “FaceTime him before he blows up my phone again. He’s as bad as your aunt.” Peter’s chest squeezed. It was good to be home, but he felt so guilty about freaking out and making everyone worry. MJ gave him a sympathetic look as she closed the door behind her.
Ned tried to be cool about the whole thing but started crying thirty seconds into their call. “Peter, I was just so worried. I couldn’t find you and freakin PEPPER couldn’t find you and we figured you blocked us out on purpose but what if you hadn’t?” He sniffled and wiped his sleeve across his face. “What if you were on the Raft? I’d never see you again.”
“I know, I know,” Peter said. “I panicked. I panicked and made some fucked up decisions and...kind of ended up on a roof with Daredevil?”
“You suck, Spider-Man,” said Ned, fond and exasperated, before demanding information about Daredevil and Foggy and weirdly enough, the Punisher trial. Ned had always been thoroughly informed on the superhero scene, but he had dialed it up since the blip. Peter, on the other hand, couldn’t stomach it anymore. It all just reminded him of loss. Ned understood and only shared what he thought Spider-Man needed to know.
“You know your lawyer works with a P.I., right?” Ned looked concerned.
“Umm,” said Peter, stalling to come up with a lie. MJ took that completely inopportune time to come back into the room.
“Well, Wade certainly hovers like a mother hen,” she said, dropping onto Peter’s bed and leaning back against the wall. “Charmed your aunt, though. Happy looked extra cranky about it.”
“Peter.” Ned’s voice was tense. MJ raised her eyebrows questioningly at Peter. “Tell me I’m wrong right now.” Peter swallowed tightly.
“What’s going on?” asked MJ. Peter shook his head at Ned. MJ narrowed her eyes.
“She doesn’t know?” said Ned. He was mad. Peter needed to diffuse this, fast.
“Please,” he begged. “I know what I’m doing.” Ned snorted in disbelief. “It’s fine, I swear. The spidey sense doesn’t go off around him, and even Daredevil says he’s a safe person.”
“Daredevil??” mouthed MJ.
“A safe person?” Ned bit out.
“Well, not safe to like, a guy selling drugs to children but -“
“But nothing. It’s fine,” Ned said, in that way when things weren’t fine.
“He wouldn’t hurt me, I promise,” Peter said. Ned was silent for a few seconds.
“I believe you believe that,” he said reluctantly. “And it seems consistent with what I know, but be careful, Peter.” Peter reassured Ned a little more before saying goodnight. He put the phone on his nightstand and looked at MJ. She said nothing, knowing that Peter would start talking to fill the silence.
“So...” he said. MJ took pity on him.
“I had the duration your boy fight to do some research,” she said, holding up her phone to show Deadpool standing on a rooftop, menacingly pointing a katana toward the unknown photographer.
“Oh,” said Peter. MJ sighed and crawled over to Peter, gently pushing him down and laying her body over his.
“You’re sure about this? About him?” she asked, her elbows on either side of his head. She searched his eyes as he answered.
“I am. You heard what I told Ned. And you’ve met him, so you can draw your own conclusions.” MJ hummed thoughtfully, but didn’t question his reasons. Peter didn’t deserve her. He wrapped his arms around her and glanced toward the door. “You think May’s asleep yet?” MJ shrugged.
“She and Happy said they were going to bed when I came in here.” Peter pulled a face, and MJ laughed. “Aww, it’s sweet.”
“Nothing about Happy is sweet,” said Peter.
“But he’s good for her,” MJ pointed out.
“I know,” said Peter. “He’s a good person,” he added quietly. Happy was a good person, and Peter was likely to get him killed.
“Hey hey, don’t get like that,” MJ soothed, pulling him out of his guilt spiral. Peter was pretty sure MJ was close to reaching her monthly allotment of sympathetic comments, and he told her so. She rolled her eyes.
“Maybe I can think of a way for you to increase my tolerance,” she said, running her hand up his hip and dipping her fingers under his waistband. Heat pooled in his belly, and he pulled MJ’s hips into his. He trailed kisses along her neck.
“Like refilling your sympathy mana,” Peter said against her collarbone.
“Too dorky, Parker, less talking.” The effect was lessened by MJ’s little gasp that followed when Peter nipped at the sensitive spot under her ear. But it didn’t take much effort for him to take that advice to heart anyway.
Peter woke up at dawn the next morning, despite his lack of sleep the days before. He was naked, sweaty and tangled up in both his sheets and MJ, who had trapped him with a leg over his butt and an arm across his shoulders. She was deeply asleep, facedown on Peter’s pillow. In spite of her ice queen reputation, MJ was a furnace in her sleep.
Peter freed an arm and ran a hand appreciatively over her backside. MJ mumbled in her sleep and pulled the sheet over her head. Peter lightly kissed her exposed shoulder and dragged himself out of bed. He pulled on a somewhat clean pair of pajama pants and closed the door behind him, careful not to wake MJ.
May was standing at the kitchen counter, watching him. “Good morning,” she said, making no attempt to keep the amusement out of her voice.
“Hi.” Peter tried to will himself not to turn pink, but to no avail.
“Coffee?” asked May.
“God yes,” answered Peter. “I’ll be...” He gestured vaguely toward the bathroom. May snickered and went back to fussing with the coffee pot. She was honestly terrible at making coffee, somehow, but Peter wasn’t exactly feeling picky. He washed his face and made no attempt to tame his hair before returning to the kitchen and plopping down in a chair that had a stack of Pop-Tarts in front of it.
“You’re amazing,” he said. And he meant it. He was so relieved to be home. May set a cup of coffee in front of him that he knew would taste burned and overly sweet. He eagerly sipped it anyway.
“If you make me a grandma in my 40s, I will murder you both,” May said as she sat down across from him. Peter blinked at her. May continued, “Do you - do I need to buy - get - something? For you two?”
“MJ is, um, on the pill,” Peter said, hoping to get this conversation over as quickly as possible. “And don’t make me a brother at 18, either,” he sassed and tilted his head in the direction of May’s bedroom.
“We weren’t, um, loud, were we?” May asked hesitantly.
“Oh my god, no, gross!” Peter exclaimed before coming to a horrifying realization. “Could you hear us?” He prayed the answer was no.
“Oh honey, no,” May answered. “You were - well, I’m not going to think about that, but we didn’t hear anything.” She reached across the table and stroked his cheek. “You’re practically an adult now, and it’s just taking a bit of getting used to,” she said, a little tearfully. Peter took her wrist and kissed her hand.
“I’ll always need you, though,” he said, and he meant it with every fiber of his being. May smiled and ruffled his hair.
“So, I don’t mean to stress you out with all this,” May started, and Peter immediately began to stress out. “But Pepper wants to meet with you and your lawyer tomorrow to ‘wrap up loose ends,’ as she put it.” Peter exhaled, mostly relieved. That was fine. He could handle a meeting, even if he still felt guilty about dodging Pepper for the last month.
“What?” May questioned, noticing Peter tense up.
“I’ve been kind of a dick to her,” he said quietly. “I’m sure she noticed that I’ve been completely avoiding her since ... the stuff with Beck.” May looked sympathetic.
“Peter, honey, she married Tony. On purpose. I know you both loved him, but he was a massive asshole. It’ll take more than being distant for a few weeks to drive Pepper off.” Peter laughed and teared up at the same time. May came around the table and hugged him.
“It’ll be okay, baby,” she soothed. “We knew you were having a hard time. It wasn’t difficult to piece it all together. Do you think I don’t talk to Pepper? And she sees Happy nearly every day. If you think the adults in your life aren’t constantly gossiping about you, you have a lot to learn about parenting.” She tapped him on the nose. “But not for a decade, mister.” Peter smiled at her.
“I know, I know,” he said, rolling his eyes. “No other plans I should know about?” May shook her head.
“Nope, just lay low for a little while and get some rest.” She gave him a warning glance. “And absolutely no Spider-Man until you see Pepper.” Peter already felt the ache in his chest telling him to go out, but he knew May was right. He reluctantly nodded his head. He had MJ, and Ned would probably come over too, so that was enough until he could get back in the suit. And if Peter was being honest with himself, he needed the rest and the break anyway.