Peter had finished his afternoon patrol and was swinging home when something caught his eye. There’s a small form leaning against the right alley wall, knees tucked to their chest and their head hidden behind their knees. He swings over to a nearby building, and then walks down the right wall. Peter defies gravity and crouches on the wall across from the child, low enough that he only has to tilt his head down a couple centimeters to make eye contact.
“Hey,” he calls out softly, and the child looks up at him.
“You alright?” The child sniffles and looks at him in awe.
“Y-yes Mr. Spider-Man!” the kid shouts with barely contained excitement. Mr. Spider-Man? Peter chuckles at that and smiles softly at the kid’s excitement.
“You sure? Do you need me to get anyone?” The kid’s smile fades a little bit.
“I’m sure,” they whisper, mostly to themselves. Peter raises his hands in defense.
“Okay, moving on. What’s your name?” The child pauses before answering.
“... Abigael.” Peter smiles and it’s somewhat visible through the mask.
“Do you go by Abigael or do you have another name you like to be called?”
“Emma!” the little girl shouts and her cheerfulness is back. Peter’s heart melts a little and he walks down the wall. He crouches in front of Emma.
“Alright Emma! I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I think I’ll be staying with you until you tell me why you’re all alone out here. The city can be dangerous, ya know!” Emma pouts and Peter reaches out and ruffles her hair.
“So, do you want to stay here? Eat something? Go to the park?” Emma looks at him and then ponders with a finger on her chin, an adorably serious expression on her face as she makes a decision.
“Hmm… I’m kind of hungry.” She looks Peter in the eyes and he can see the nervousness in her. His heart breaks a little. He's Spider-Man! He's supposed to be friendly, not intimidating.
“Of course! Where to? Or just tell me what you want and I’ll find a place.”
“Mac and cheese,” Emma answers immediately and Peter laughs.
“Mac and cheese it is!” Emma looks at him in excitement.
“Are we walking?”
“We could.” Emma pouts.
“But you’re Spider-Man. We could, like, fly there.”
“I can’t fly, but I sure can swing.”
“Yes! That! Let’s swing!”
“Hm.” Peter imitates Emma’s previous position, with a finger on his chin. He looks back at Emma.
“One block. Then we’re walking because swinging is kinda dangerous.” Emma takes it.
Peter swings one block like he promised, and he’s kind of sad he has to stop. Emma had been laughing and whooping the whole block, and it was really cute. Ah well. He’s a responsible almost-adult, so they walk.
Man does the press have a field day with Peter swinging and walking around with a little girl. They respect them enough though that they blur Emma’s face. Peter's thankful for that when he finds out later, so he doesn’t have to worry about webbing up some reporters.
The two end up at a little family run business, and they walk up to the counter. Peter’s still in his suit, and the worker tries giving him a discount. Before Peter saw Emma he was heading home, so he had his backpack on. He rummaged around in it before pulling out his wallet and paying full price - in cash, he wasn’t dumb. The worker knows he’s not winning against Queen’s friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, so he just accepts the money.
Peter and Emma sit down at a little table, enjoying their mac. Peter has to pull his mask up some, but whatever. No one’s finding out his civvie identity by looking at his nose.
Emma opens up a little bit, and the two chat and get to know each other. It’s only when they finish that Emma finally decides to tell him. She mumbles at first and it all slurs together, so Peter can’t understand what she’s saying.
“Sorry, can you repeat that? I couldn’t hear it.” Emma looks away and hunches into herself. Peter walks around and crouches next to her chair. He takes her hand in both of his and looks at her.
“It’s fine, take your time. I’m not mad or anything.” Emma doesn’t look at him, but she relaxes a little bit. Peter’s grateful for that.
“I - I’m alone,” she mutters quietly, and Peter is only able to catch it because of his enhanced hearing. She’s still uncomfortable, so he gently rubs his thumb over the back of her hand.
“What do you mean?”
“I was in the alley because … I’m alone.” She doesn’t know enough words to elaborate, so Peter just thinks it through for a moment.
“Ah. So, what do you think about going to my place for a little bit so we can get someone to help you out, hm?” Emma finally looks at him, and he can see tears in her eyes.
“But - you’re Spider-Man. Who can help more than you?” Peter chuckles and ruffles her hair again.
“Sure, I can help some, but there are others who help in ways I can’t. I can’t just move you into my house or someone else’s house - there are rules. There’s this whole system set up for these situations and I don’t know the first thing about it! Even I need help sometimes.” Emma chuckles a little.
“Fine.”
The elevator to Tony’s personal living quarters dings and opens the doors, revealing only Tony in the living room. Tony doesn’t look over, and is watching TV.
“I’m so sorry Mr. Stark, but I’ve gotten attached.” Tony sighs and puts down his coffee.
“Peter, I swear if you’ve come home with a dog - what.” He looks over at Peter only to see the kid still in his suit with a little kid curled up into his chest.
“You’ve got, like, two seconds to explain before I assume the worst.”
“Found her in an alleyway, and I couldn’t just leave her Mr. Stark!” Tony sighs.
“What’s she doing here though? Couldn’t you just, I don’t know, drop her off at an orphanage? They have places for these kinds of things, kiddo.” Peter whimpers a little bit.
“I know but MJ says the orphanages are pretty bad and so is the whole foster care system, so I brought her here. I just want to make sure she’s going somewhere good, Mr. Stark, and, I dunno, you’re an adult so I thought you could help?” Tony resists the urge to dig his eyes out. He knows exactly how this is going to play out, and Pepper is going to kill him. Hell, May’s going to kill him.
“Yeah, alright. Just - she’s not staying here longer than a night.” Peter perks up.
“Thank you Mr. Stark!”
Emma’s still in the tower a week later. She’s practically glued to Peter’s side the entire week, and Peter doesn’t seem to mind. Peter answers all her questions, entertains her, takes care of her, and sticks just as much to her side.
He refused to wear his suit the entire time, so he revealed himself to Emma the morning after she stayed over. He’d taken his mask off and told her his name was Peter and not to tell anyone. She just nodded and went along with it.
“You look like a Peter,” she’d said.
"What does a Peter even look like?" Peter'd replied. They shared a light laugh at that.
Every day Tony reminded himself that this was temporary, but it didn’t matter. Tony was so dead. Pepper was coming home from Hong Kong in two days, and there was an extra kid in the tower. A kid that wasn't supposed to be here who’d taken a liking to the kid who was supposedto be here, and vice versa.
It had officially been eight days with Emma in the tower, and, surprisingly, no one other than Peter, Tony, and Friday knew of her presence, which was quite the impressive feat. Tony didn't know how Peter had done it. The three were up on Tony’s personal floor, eating breakfast.
“You know when I said you looked like a Peter?” Emma asked Peter, who hummed through his cereal.
“Well, you act like a mom.” Peter choked on his cereal.
“Don’t choke Mommy.” Tony poorly hid his snorts behind his cup as Peter coughed. He finally caught his breath and turned to Emma with a fake glare, only given away by his smile.
“Emma! I do not - go to your room right now, young lady. And I will be talking with you later.” Emma laughed and sipped her apple juice. Tony turned with a look off to his right and he sipped his coffee with a smile. Not permanent his ass. … He was so dead.
So, Peter had accidentally become a mom over the course of a week. It made sense though. The morning after he’d brought Emma home, he’d taken her out and gotten her some clothes and one little plush. He’d even taken the week off Spider-Manning. Over the week, the two warmed up to each other considerably, and Peter was definitely showing his mother-hen side. It was adorable really. It was also the first thing Pepper saw when she walked into the living room. She honestly just wanted to collapse in bed, maybe cuddle with Tony. A little dinner with Tony and Peter wouldn’t’ve been denied. She’d expected to see no one as she walked in, assuming she’d have to drag the boys out of the lab like always.
Instead, she walked into a room filled with laughter. Peter sat on the floor in front of a little girl, who was excitedly talking him through some drawings.
“This one is a little bean, talking to another bean. He says “I know! I’ve bean there!” Peter genuinely laughs and the little girl looks proud. Pepper is confused. Had he taken up babysitting?
“Hey Peter.” She announces her presence to the room, and Peter turns his head to see her.
“Pepper! Hey! How’d the trip go?” Pepper sighs with a small smile as she walks over to Peter. She flops on the couch and spares a glance at the little girl who’s resumed drawing.
“Well, it kind of sucked, to be honest, Pete. Doesn’t matter though. What I want to know, is who is this?” Peter perks up considerably.
“This is Emma! I found her on one of my patrols and I couldn’t just leave her, so I took her home!” Pepper shook her head with a smile.
“First Tony adopting random children, and now you?” Peter rubs the back of his neck nervously. The little girl finally looks up at Pepper, a look of confusion on her face.
“Others? But, Mommy’s the only one here!” Peter flushes and looks away from Pepper.
“You know, I was just kidding about the adoption," she says. Peter chuckles nervously.
“It just kinda happened? It was supposed to be a one night thing and then we were supposed to look for a place for her to stay? But, uh, we haven’t gotten around to it?” Pepper just looked at him for a moment before flopping back against the couch.
“Seems to me you’ve already found a place for her to stay.”
Tony had gotten away with light scolding from Pepper and May, and Peter got slightly harsher scolding. Emma was adorable though, so they let her stay.
By the fourteenth day, Peter had himself listed as Emma’s legal guardian, as well as Tony and Pepper. They’d also legally changed her name from Abigael to Emma, per Emma's request. She was previously in the system, so they’d gotten some information on her, like her birthday - September 20th, and no Peter did not put that in his phone right away,stop teasing him Mr. Stark.
By day fifteen, Peter was back on his Spider-Man duties, leaving Emma Parker with her Uncle Tony and Aunt Pepper. The three just let Emma decide what they were to her, and she’d settled on “Mommy”, “Uncle Tony”, and “Aunt Pepper”, so it stuck.
The rest of Peter’s summer was a whirlwind that was a little bit irregular. His daily schedule shifted slightly to include more of Emma, and if Ned and MJ came over, he made sure Emma was out with her aunt and uncle. Before school picked back up, Peter signed Emma up for kindergarten, and had gotten her one of those phones that had nothing but a few numbers. “For emergencies” he said as he plugged in his, Tony’s, and Pepper’s numbers. Yeah, he was a total mother-hen.
The first day of school was far more stressful than usual for Peter, and he’d worried about Emma off and on the entire day. However, she hadn’t called him, and neither had Tony or Pepper, so that calmed his nerves. If his friends noticed, they didn’t say anything.
Peter had settled into his newish life pretty well, and Ned and MJ still didn’t know about Emma. Not even the Avengers did. No one outside of Emma’s little family knew until the fateful day of the Help I've Fallen And I Can't Get Up incident, which had a domino effect of telling the Avengers, but we’ll get to that later.
Peter was in chemistry class, stirring some mixture for his group. His phone started ringing and he stalled, knowing the ringtone was only for Emma. He stopped stirring immediately, much to his team’s annoyance, and pulled out his phone.
“Parker, you know the rules. No calls,” his teacher scolded him.
“Yeah, but I gotta take it.”
“Then put it on speaker.” Peter didn’t hesitate to do so.
“Emma? What’s wrong?” His voice easily slipped into a calming tone that his concern bled into. Most people kept doing their experiments, Peter’s annoyed group included, but Ned and MJ were watching him intently. They knew everything about Peter, but they’d never even heard of anyone called Emma.
“I, uh, fell.” A little girl’s voice came from his phone, which confused those who were listening. Peter sighed and raked a hand through his hair. Kindergarten kids didn’t have school on Fridays, so Peter had left Emma with Tony and Pepper. He bit his lip.
“And Uncle Tony isn’t there?”
“No.”
“Aunt Pepper?”
“Nope! They said something about a … metting?”
“Meeting,” Peter softly corrected and sighed, gathering his things with one hand.
“Alright, tell me where you fell off of.”
“The counter!”
“And why were you on the counter?” He lightly scolded, which was pretty amusing to his friends. Peter was oblivious to everything but Emma right now, so he didn’t notice.
“Um…”
“It’s fine, just don’t tell Tony and Pepper. If they ask, you fell off a chair, alright? Now, where are you hurt.”
“My nose. I think it’s bleeding.”
“You think?” He heard a sniffle. Oh shit. He started gathering his stuff quicker.
“Yes, I think it, and it’s true. Because I can think what I know.”
“Yes, yes, very good logic there Emmy. You get a gold star for that one. Now, go grab a towel and press it against where it’s bleeding. Press down as hard as you can and if it stops bleeding, put some ice on it. Ask Friday if you need help. I’ll be right there, okay?”
“Okay. Bye Mommy!” Ah, there it is. The other shoe dropping. Peter didn’t even bat an eye as he hung up. He zipped up his bag and turned to leave the room.
“Peter, you can’t just leave,” his teacher chided and Peter looked her in the eyes.
“She’s four and her nose is bleeding. I’m going and you can’t stop me. Besides, I already know what happens in this experiment, so I’ll have the worksheet finished tomorrow.” He left, just as promised.
The class watched him go and wondered what the heck happened, and why some little girl was calling Peter about an injury, and also why she was calling him her mom. The little shock spell seemed to lift around the room, and Ned and MJ acted fast, immediately texting the group chat.
Skience Dorks + MJ
Michelle JoeMama: Peter.
Nedward In The Chair: Peter??
Michelle JoeMama: we are talking about this
Nedward In The Chair: are you alright man? who was that
Michelle JoeMama: dont think youre escaping just because some kid got hurt. you cant hide a secret child from us and expect no consequences
Nedward In The Chair: mj, dude, chill
Nedward In The Chair: is that kid alright? whyd she call you mom
Peter didn’t even bother taking his car, having no patience right now for New York traffic. He found a cozy alleyway and put his suit on over his clothes. He put on his backpack, made sure it was buckled around his chest, and swung to the tower.
He was there in a matter of minutes, and he had Karen tell Friday to open the window he ended up landing on. He crawled into the lab, ignoring the stares, and headed to the nearest elevator, punching in the button for floor 82.
“Hello Peter. Are you alright? Shouldn’t you be at school right now?” Friday greeted him. Peter took off his suit and shoved it into his backpack.
“Yeah, I’m alright Friday. Just trying to get to Emma. She fell and her nose is bleeding. Actually, it might have stopped by now. Anyways, I’m just checking on her and probably taking her to the medbay.” The elevator dinged.
“Yes, I heard. I hope it all works out well.”
Peter flung his backpack off to the side and rushed out of the elevator. He ran to where he saw Emma sitting on the couch, a slight frown on her face and tears running down her face.
“Emma!” Peter crouched in front of her.
“Mommy! It hurts,” she whined.
“Oh, I know honey. Let’s take a look at it though, alright?” Peter said softly, resting his hand on the towel. Emma removed her hand and allowed Peter to move the towel. He held back a hiss upon seeing it, and instead focused on analyzing the damage. She’d probably broken it, and the bleeding hadn’t stopped.
“Oh, Emmy. Here,” Peter whispered and gave her back the towel. She held it against her nose again with a wince. Peter sat up and scooped her into his arms, where Emma gladly rested her head in the crook of his neck. She wrapped her legs around him and closed her eyes instinctively. Peter rubbed a soothing hand over her back.
“It’s alright, Emmy. I’m going to take you to this place, alright? There should be at least one person there, and they’re going to help make this better. All the people there are super nice,” Peter told her and walked to the elevator. Emma just let out a pained hum of agreement.
“They’ve got the softest beds, like, ever. You’ll love them. And they move too! They can lay flat, or they can sit up-” Peter rambled comforts to her as Emma tried not to focus on the pain.
By the time they’d gotten to the medbay, the bleeding had almost stopped, Peter’s shirt was soaked in tears, and Emma was kind of hyped about the beds. Peter didn’t hesitate to set her down on one and make sure she was comfortable, teaching her the buttons that made it move.
“Okay, I’m going to go get one of those nice people I was telling you about. Don’t move.” Peter ruffled her hair, and Emma smiled a little bit.
It turned out Helen was the only one there, and Peter was glad because he knew her best.
“Ms. Cho!” Helen turned around to meet a panicked Peter.
“Where’s the injury?” Helen said with obvious familiarity. More injuries from lab incidents or more from Spider-Man, she didn’t know.
“It’s not me! Uh, I think she broke her nose.” Without another word, Peter turned around and walked back to Emma, knowing that Helen would follow him.
Helen was certainly surprised to see a little girl sitting in one of the beds, but she decided it didn't concern her.
“Hey there! My name’s Helen, and I’m gonna help out, okay? Can I see your nose?” she greeted politely and pointed at the towel. The girl hesitated and Peter picked up on it.
“This is Ms. Cho, Emma. She’s one of those nice people I told you about. Here, I’ll take the towel, alright?” Helen put the interaction behind her and instead focused on Emma’s nose.
“Oh. That must hurt. Here, let me get you some medicine.”
Twenty minutes later, Helen had patched Emma up. Helen went back to her job with a muttered “Thanks Ms. Cho” from Peter.
Emma had wanted Peter next to her, so that was where Peter currently was. Emma was sleeping and leaning into Peter, and Peter let her, gently carding his hands through her dirty blonde hair. It was relieving to see her face wasn’t scrunched up in pain. Deciding that Emma was in good condition, he pulled out his phone and noticed several missed messages from the groupchat he was in with Ned and MJ. He skimmed through all the texts. Peter noticed it was lunch time, figured now was as good as ever, and texted back.
Skience Dorks + MJ
PeteyMan: Sorry guys. I’ll answer questions now
The responses were instantaneous.
Skience Dorks + MJ
Nedward In The Chair: dude!! you cant just leave us hanging like that!! and is that kid okay?? what happened?
PeteyMan: sorry and she is. emma fell off the counter and broke her nose :(
Peter gently carded his hand through Emma’s hair more, pulling her just a little bit so she was leaning further into him.
Skience Nerds + MJ
Michelle JoeMama: are you going to explain who emma is
PeteyMan: sorry and she’s… technically my kid
Nedward In The Chair: Peter… what
Michelle JoeMama: explain now
PeteyMan: ok so basically I was on patrol a while ago and I found this kid crying in the alley and I couldnt just leave her so we went out and got some mac and cheese and I waited for her to open up and she didnt have anybody so I took her back to the tower and sort of accidentally ended up growing attached and now its legal???
Nedward In The Chair: you somehow explained everything and yet nothing at the same time
Michelle JoeMama renamed the groupchat: ‘Skience Nerd, Dumbass, + MJ’
Michelle JoeMama: so you just adopted a kid and didnt tell us? im hurt
PeteyMan: im sorry!! i just didnt know how or what to tell you!!!
Nedward In The Chair: its fine but you gotta tell us everything now
PeteyMan: fair
Michelle JoeMama: how long has she been under your care
PeteyMan: …
PeteyMan: since… two weeks after the beginning of summer…
Nedward In The Chair: what????!!!! its been like three months!! we were there during the summer!!! how tf did you hide a child from us!!
Michelle JoeMama: you are so lucky you arent here right now
PeteyMan: she was with mr stark and mrs potts! and im sorry mj!!
Michelle JoeMama: so stark and pepper just let you adopt a child? i find that suspicious
Nedward In The Chair: does may know??
PeteyMan: yes, no its not suspicious bc shes adorable, and yes
Nedward In The Chair: one more burning question
PeteyMan: yes?
Michelle JoeMama: what laws did you break to adopt her and why does she have a phone at such a young age
Nedward In The Chair: why does she call you mom and not dad
Michelle JoeMama: im more interested in neds actually. answer his
Nedward In The Chair: gasp
PeteyMan: you guys are gonna laugh :/
Michelle JoeMama: payback for you hiding your actual legitimate child from us
Nedward In The Chair: sorry dude. gotta side with mj on this one
PeteyMan: fine.
PeteyMan: …
PeteyMan: she said i act like a mother
PeteyMan: and mr stark agreed!! the traitor!!! he said i was a mother hen!!!!!! >:((((
Nedward In The Chair: omg are u actually???
Michelle JoeMama: yeah i could see that. you talked back to a teacher just to go home to her.
Michelle JoeMama: ive never heard you talk back to anyone before
PeteyMan: im taking that as a compliment
Michelle JoeMama: you do that
Michelle JoeMama changed PeteyMan’s name to Spider Mom
Spider Mom changed Spider Mom’s name to Spider-Mom
Spider-Mom: theres a hyphen!!! everyone always forgets the hyphen :(
Nedward In The Chair: you arent even complaining about the name
Nedward In The Chair: dude
Nedward In The Chair: youre totally a mother
Nedward In The Chair: congrats
Michelle JoeMama: so do we get to meet this mystery child at any point in our lives or are you hiding her appearance from us too
Beside him, Emma stirred some, and turned onto her side. She curled into Peter’s chest, lightly clutching his shirt. Peter smiled down at her and pressed a soft kiss on top of her head. He changed apps and took a quick photo.
Skience Dorks, Dumbass, + MJ
Spider-Mom: [a picture of Peter with a fond smile, looking down at Emma, curled into his chest.]
Nedward In The Chair: i was not prepared!! T-T
Nedward In The Chair: warn a guy next time!!!!!!
Spider-Mom: sorry? are her bandages bothering you or something?? :?
Michelle JoeMama: he means its a really cute photo and he was not prepared for the sheer amount of love and fondness in this photo (yuck btw)
Spider-Mom: oh
Spider-Mom: it is a kinda cute photo
Spider-Mom: okay its my home screen now. let your laughs out now before i change it
Michelle JoeMama: i actually cant laugh. thats freaking adorable
Spider-Mom: ????? mj are you okay?? the medbay has extra beds if you need it
Spider-Mom: bc that was not normal mj behavior!!
Michelle JoeMama: *rolls eyes*
Nedward In The Chair: just take the compliment dude. this is a rare opportunity
Spider-Mom: fine
Spider-Mom: thank you mj, very cool
Michelle JoeMama: stfu or provide more spider-mom content
Spider-Mom: [a blown up screenshot showing the hyphen in spider-mom]
Spider-Mom: :O!!
Nedward In The Chair: dude, you heard her
Nedward In The Chair: more content
Spider-Mom: idk what else there is…
Spider-Mom: oh wait!! i HAVE to show you this really good drawing she made!!!!
Spider-Mom: youll love it
Michelle JoeMama: anytime before lunch ends loser. i need this content before next period
Spider-Mom: [a picture of a short comic of beans. It’s the one with the “I’ve bean there” pun. It’s proudly signed in Emma’s large and shaky handwriting. Emma is holding it up with pride, a large grin on her face.]
Nedward In The Chair: oh shes yours alright
Michelle JoeMama: that somehow meets all my expectations of a child of yours
Nedward In The Chair: ikr??? also we gotta go to class rn so provide us with more stuff while were gone!! yall cute
Michelle JoeMama: bye loser. say hi to your kid for us
Spider-Mom: bye guys!! ill send more pics and im glad she meets all expectations. and ofc ill say hi!!
Nedward In The Chair, and Michelle JoeMama are offline
Spider-Mom renamed the groupchat: ‘Emma Fanclub’
Spider-Mom: [Several pictures of Emma’s drawings, lego creations, and just her in general. Peter’s in some of them, smiling fondly and/or proudly at her. Just imagine really adorable pictures.]
When Peter went back to school Monday, he got a few odd looks. He ignored them with practiced ease until Flash approached him. Flash slammed him into a nearby locker.
“So, Penis. Who’d you knock up? Does that kid call you ‘Mommy’ because you’re a pussy? I bet she is too,” Flash rudely teased, and expected no response as usual. But Peter didn’t care for the norm - that was his daughter Flash had just insulted. Something parental flared in him, and confidence flowed through him as he stood up straighter, forcing Flash to back up a step.
“Flash, insult me all you want, but not her. You say anything else about her and I will dye your hair pink at three am this Saturday.”
“That’s oddly specific. You planning something to protect your little brat? I’ll have you know I have security.”
“Yeah, and? I will still show up to your house with pink hair dye, no hesitation. Keep talking and I might show up with purple too.” Flash scoffed and walked away as the bell rang. Peter walked to his class too, ignoring the looks he got again, his head held up high in anger.
Asses, Assemble [1]
Spidey-Boiiiii: sorry nat, but i have to take the mama spoider title
Spidey-Mom: did you get a puppy or something peter?
Spidey-Boiiiii: no, better
Spidey-Boiiiii: [picture of Emma and Peter, both smiling at the camera.]
Spidey-Boiiiii: meet emma
Spidey-Boiiiii: she calls me mom
Spidey-Boiiiii: so im going to need to borrow the title every now and then
Spidey-Mom: where did she come from and how have we not seen her before
Spidey-Boiiiii changed Spidey-Boiiiii’s name to Spidey-Mom 2
Spidey-Mom 2: sorry but im very good at hiding things
Nerd: I’m so confused
Angy Birb: so am i but its 3am so all of you need to stfu
Spidey-Mom 2: oh shit!! 3am!! I promised this asshole id dye his hair pink and purple rn brb
Spidey-Mom 2: thx clint!!!!
Angy Birb: just let us sleep
Spidey-Mom: you are explaining everything youve said so far in the morning or so help me
Peter was not suspicious at all in his black outfit with the hood up so security couldn’t see who easily crawled all over the walls, looking through the windows for Flash. When Peter found Flash, sleeping in his room, he gave a nearly silent whoop. He stuck his hand to Flash’s window, and pushed up the, fortunately, unlocked window. Silently, he slipped into the room, an evil grin on his face.
Peter quickly brought out a pink temporary dye bottle, and put on some gloves. He placed the plastic Wal-Mart bag under Flash’s head, and man was he thankful this boy was a heavy sleeper.
After Flash’s hair had been thoroughly stained and soaked in water - Peter wasn’t a prick, he was going to do this properly - Peter made sure to dispose of the things in Flash’s nearby trashcan. Then, he snuck back out of the room. It had all happened so quick, and Peter was in and out in a flash. That’d teach him.
Asses, Assemble
Best Ass: Can someone please explain?
Spidey-Mom 2: i didnt dye flashs hair pink. that was someone else
Best Ass: I meant the child, but if you could explain that too.
Spidey-Mom 2: im so glad you asked!! flash is this super annoying kid whos rude and everything to me, which is fine, but then he dared to bring up emma!!
Spidey-Mom 2: so i took him down a peg. its his fault really, i literally told him id do it
Tony Stanky: very cool. Please continue explaining emma so I dont have to explain to these idiots
Spidey-Mom 2: hmmm
Spidey-Mom 2: to explain or not to explain, that is the question
Spidey-Mom: explain or else i will find out through my own means
Spidey-Mom 2: fine.
Spidey-Mom 2: short answer is i found her alone in an alley while on patrol and we bonded over some heckin good mac and cheese. i took her home to take care of her from the night and then next thing you know shes been there for two weeks and is calling me mom! so we just kinda rolled with it and now shes legally mine lol
Angy Birb: thats a little wack even for me kid
Spidey-Mom 2: has shuri been sending you memes again
Annoyed Borb: do not change topics peter
Spidey-Mom 2: you live up to your name
Annoyed Borb: as do you
Big Hero 6: peter please elaborate.
Spidey-Mom 2: idk guys there isnt really much else to tell
Spidey-Mom 2: unless you want me to gush
Spidey-Mom 2: but ned and mj said i really shouldnt
Nerd: How about you start with how long she’s been yours?
Spidey-Mom 2: like … 3 months now?
Big Hero 6: you’ve kept a child from us for months?
Spidey-Mom 2: hey! at least i didnt pull a mr stark!! he hid me for two YEARS!!
Tony Stanky: oh no. Im in for it now
Tony Stanky: youre out of the will kid
Tony Stanky: i told them it was only two weeks
Tony Stanky: and i had them convinced too
Angy Birb: wtf tony
Spidey-Mom 2: im so sorry mr stark!!!!!
Tony Stanky: im about to die and youre still calling me mr stark?!
Tony Stanky: whatever. ill just share some disgustingly adorable photos of you and emma to embarass you
Spidey-Mom 2: no wait - im so sorry tony plz no
Tony Stanky: too late
Spidey-Mom 2: dad please
Salty Pepper: Peter you broke him
Spidey-Mom 2: sorry mom
Honey Bear: you broke her too. they’re both crying
Spidey-Mom 2: :)
Honey Bear: no dont
Spidey-Mom 2: :))
Honey Bear: peter
Spidey-Mom 2: sorry…
Honey Bear: dont you dare finish that
Spidey-Mom 2: uncle rhodes
Honey Bear: aldhghewrjglnwerjglwj ejewjifljdsgv
Spidey-Mom: elegant
Spidey-Mom 2: hey if we teamed up we could be spidey-mom squared how cool would that be
Spidey-Mom: pretty cool peter
Nerd: when do we get to meet emma
Spidey-Mom 2: in like two minutes lol
Annoyed Borb: wait what
Spidey-Mom 2: surprise!! its *family* game night, so im bringing emma
Spidey-Mom 2: which means no cussing
Spidey-Mom 2: @sbeve language >:((
Best Ass: I don’t cuss Peter.
Spidey-Mom 2: your name begs to differ
Best Ass: Then beg.
Best Ass: Sorry.
Spidey-Mom 2: shuris been teaching you memes!! she promised wed do that together! shes so dead when i see her
Spidey-Mom 2: ok surprise weve arrived i hope you kicked your cussing habits in the last .2 seconds stevey
Angy Birb: thanks for the short notice pete
Angy Birb: now ive gotta clean all that dick shaped glitter up in the next 20 seconds
Spidey-Mom 2: please tell me you were joking
Peter held a hand over Emma's eyes as they walked into the common room. He breathed a sigh of relief at the glitter-free room and uncovered Emma's eyes.
"Oh thank god you were joking, Clint." That seemed to alert the room of his presence, as they looked up to see him and Emma. The room filled with greetings for both of them, and the team let the two sit before the questions.
"Okay, so, it's my turn to choose the game," Clint started. "So, I choose this new game. It's called Question Peter About His Secret Child." Peter sighed and Emma leaned into his side. Peter instinctively wrapped an arm around her and pulled her in closer.
"Sounds kinda boring," Emma said. Clint looked at her with great offense, and the rest laughed.
"See? I told you she was a keeper," Peter heard Tony say.
"How old is she?" Natasha cut in.
"Four." Natasha nodded in consideration.
"I'll go next," Bucky offered. "How were you able to keep her hidden for three months?"
"Easy peasy. Friday hooked us up with some sweet reminders whenever someone was within a certain radius." It seemed an acceptable answer as the team nodded, so Peter kept to himself how he'd actually locked everyone out of his and the Starks' floor.
“Did you really find her in an alleyway and just decide to take her home?” Sam questioned.
“Uh, duh. What else was I going to do?”
"Why aren't we playing any real games?" Emma asked, looking up at him with doe eyes.
"I don't know. I really think we should. Who's turn is it? I don't think it's Clint's since he chose the last one…" Peter rubbed his chin in mock concentration. “How about it’s Emma’s turn?” He looked around the room and was only met with shrugs and nods.
“I don’t see why not,” Tony said offhandedly and with that it was settled.
“Emma’s turn it is!” Peter exclaimed and turned back to his daughter. “So, what game are we playing Emmy?”
“Mario Kart.” Peter nodded with an air of seriousness.
“A wise decision. I hope everyone’s ready to see Clint lose to a four year old.”
“I will not!” came Clint’s indignant reply.
He did though. He totally did.
“No! NO! I absolutely refuse to believe this just happened! I did not just lose to a four year-old,” Clint shouted with dignity over his loss.
“You did though,” Emma pointed out. Clint just wailed and the team snickered.
“Good job Emma. The only other time I saw him so dramatic was when he lost his first game,” Peter said with teasing approval that earned him a Clint Glare™. Emma stuck his tongue out at him in response.