The Decathlon team are walking the totally clean and not crowded at all sidewalks of New York City, on their way to some field trip destination I didn’t come up with. Suddenly there’s gasps and exclamations from all around them and, naturally, the class looks for the source of energy. They see it - a woman on top of the Empire State Building. Someone is dangling her over the edge. And then - they let go. They all gasp, except for Peter. Before anyone could stop him, he runs. He takes off like the damned Flash - not their teammate - and then he’s running up the Empire State Building. The crowd gasps more. The woman is a little ways above Peter, and he launches himself off the side of the fucking building. He catches her, and then webs shoot out from his wrists. Holy shit, Peter fucking Parker is Spider-Man. Actually wait, that makes a lot of sense.
Abe can’t help himself, and maybe it’s just the nerves, but he laughs.
“This is no laughing manner Abe!” Cindy scolds, but then Abe speaks.
“Oh my god. He ditched his homecoming date to put her dad in jail.” The group can’t help but snicker at that.
“Wait, he walked in like five minutes later in that shitty jumper he started in. Where did he keep that?” Sally wonders.
“Under the lockers,” MJ supplies. They look at her incredulously.
“What?” Charles asks.
“Under the lockers. He ran out of homecoming, lifted a row of lockers, and lo-and-behold, there’s the shitty jumper.”
“Peter can lift an entire row of lockers?!”
“He saved us at the Washington Monument, there’s videos of him stopping cars with his bare hands, he held a ferry together with just his webs and strength, and the lockers surprise you?” Ned asks them, his expression and tone implying the unsaid ‘Seriously?’.
“Oh shit you’re right. He’s actually saved us. Wait - does that mean his Stark internship is true too?” Charles trails off.
“Spider-Man is the internship,” Ned answers like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Flash is silent, and he’s staring intensely at his shoes in deep thought.
Peter rejoins the group, having just gotten the woman to a nearby hospital and worked through the crowds of people.
“Hey guys!” he greets like this is a casual Tuesday for him, which, it might be.
“Your secret identity has been revealed and the whole world will know soon,” MJ deadpans.
“Shame,” Peter says back as if he’d just misplaced a penny, not come out to the world as Spider-Man.
“I knew it!” Ned gasps and points an accusing finger at Peter.
“You already knew he was Spi-” MJ starts, but Ned cuts her off.
“You were totally gonna do a press conference this weekend! You liar.” Peter laughs and holds his hands up in defeat.
“Caught me!” He says with sarcasm and turns to the Decathlon team.
“Really sorry about all those missed meetings guys. Oh! And Flash?” Flash gulps and looks up from his shoes.
“Y-yeah?”
“Sorry for that one time I accidentally trained a missile on you.”
“You what.”
“Really? No one else saw the goddamn missile out the window?”
“When the hell was this Parker!” Flash doesn’t care he’s Spider-Man right now - this is still Penis Parker. Realization comes up on Peter’s face.
“Oh wait. Someone tell me about Thanos?” They look at him in confusion.
“Uh, thanatos? Like the Latin root word?” Cindy mutters confusedly.
“Huh,” Peter mumbles. “Okay! Turns out I lied! Also, I owe an apology to your Peter Parker!”
“What?” Sally asks, tone flat from her confusion.
“I universe hopped! In my universe, this big purple alien dude named Thanos killed half the universe. Uh, I was trying to fix it but then I couldn’t so I came back to what I thought was my dimension. Actually, now I’m noticing a few obvious differences. For one, none of the SI employees knew me? And a couple leaves are fucking blue? Man am I tired. Anyways, the good news is, Flash, I never trained a missile on you here! Also! I’m now realizing that it’s only just after the homecoming fiasco, so I time traveled a little bit. Success! Uh, but, your Peter Parker has now been exposed as Spider-Man? I feel kinda like an asshole now.”
“Doesn’t matter what dimension you’re from, you’re still a rambling loser.” Peter frowns at that.
“Really? You still call me ‘loser’? Wow. I really hope you confess to him soon.” MJ flushes.
“What,” she demands.
“My MJ calls me ‘idiot’, not ‘loser’. It shows more affection. Man, now I know why you didn’t show up this morning! It’s ‘cause we weren’t even there yet! Rambling again - I gotta go guys. Seriously, nice knowing you for all of, uh,” he checks his watch, “three hours! But I gotta get back to dimension hopping. Anyone named Thanos comes, you tell the Avengers to assemble all the Infinity Stones, and make sure two people snap, not just Mr. Stark! That’s very important!” And then he taps something on his wrist and a portal opens. He walks through, and then there’s another Peter running up to them.
“I’m so sorry I was late guys! What did I miss!?” They turn to him in slight shock.
“Just your alternate dimension self exposing you as Spider-Man, claim we’re dating in his universe, and walk through a portal,” MJ deadpans, but if you truly knew her, you’d be able to hear the slight shock in her voice as well. Instead of Peter being torn up or shocked, he just beams up at her.
“Oh, you met him! Yeah, he was pretty cool. Last night we tag teamed! It was so much fun to have another Spider-Man. I might look into dimension hopping just so we can do it again!” he rambles. MJ just sighs and mutters something about “her idiot”, and Ned laughs.
“If anyone could Peter, it’d be you,” Ned says, and then pauses, a contemplative finger against his chin. “Or Mr. Stark. You two should tag team and create a dimension hopping thingy. You’d totally be able to pull it off.”
“Oh I know I’d be able to! If other Peter wasn’t enough proof, then my prototype is.”
“Of course you already have one,” MJ sighs. “You started it last night after you met him, didn’t you?”
“Yup! You know me so well!”
The Decathlon team just decides to ignore them and mull over this, splitting away from the trio to talk amongst themselves.
“So, we’re just accepting this?” Charles asks.
“If we are, I call Peter on my team next time we play dodgeball,” Abe jokes.
“Absolutely not! He gets his own team of just him,” Sally responds.
“Wait, that sounds kind of fun actually,” Cindy admits.
“Hey Peter!” Abe calls.
“Yeah?” Peter calls back.
“Want to play dodgeball against all of us using your spidey powers?”
“Um, of course I do.”
“Wait, really?” Cindy asks.
“Yeah! I’ve played a couple of sports and stuff using my abilities and it is insanely fun. Like, imagine playing hide and seek tag against the whole Avengers team and winning because they can’t reach you on the ceiling. Trust me, they didn’t live that one down for weeks.”
“You’ve played against the Avengers? No wait - scratch that. You’re an Avenger?” Charles rambles. Peter laughs nervously.
“Um … okay, so actually I turned down being an Avenger?”
“Why the fuck would you do that!” Flash accuses.
“I thought it was a test! Mr. Stark just came up to me and was like ‘Wanna be an Avenger?’ and I thought it was, like, a greed and responsibility test? They had a press conference in the other room and it was this whole big thing and apparently why Pepper proposed to Tony but whatever. It doesn’t matter anyways, I’m like an honorary Avenger at this point.”
“Wait wait, I just realized how much you talk about Stark. You know him personally? How’d you meet him?” Sally asks in fascination. Peter laughs at that.
“I came home from school one day and he was in my living room.”
“What.”
“Go on. Say it.”
“Dude, what even is your life?” Abe asks with slight awe.
“There it is! Honestly, I don’t know.”
Later that day, there’s a Spider-Man tweet that comes out and more or less shakes up the world.
Spidey @SpiderMan
Hey guys! Me from an alternate dimension accidentally revealed my identity, so here’s an official reveal! (Don't blame other me; I was literally going to reveal it myself next week)
[link to a press conference at the Avengers Compound that Tony and Pepper obviously set up]
A few months later, a portal opens up into Peter’s gym class. Several Spider-People are visible through it, and one comes out of it and looks at Peter. Just so you know, dear reader, it’s Spider Noir.
“Uh, hey guys?” Peter says with a little wave. They wave back.
“We’re gathering as many Spider-People as possible to join up and save universes from some dude named Thanos. A lot of us are surprisingly named Peter. Coming?” Peter grins like someone had just hung the moon for him.
“Am I ever! Oh! If we need to time travel to save universes where it’s already happened, I’ve got you covered!” He grabs his bag and walks through the portal while rambling to Spider Noir, the portal closing behind him.
“Ignore that and get back to work! Just because he gets out of it doesn’t mean you can too!” their coach yells at them immediately. He turns to Ned. “And you inform that Stark man of this development.”
“Already done sir,” Ned smiles. He was recording from the moment the portal opened and had already sent a video to the Spidey Protection Squad groupchat (lovingly named “Protecting That Dumbass Since ‘01”). The group chat had all the Avengers, including more “honorary” members like Deadpool, Ant-Man, Daredevil, etc., as well as Shuri, her brother, and some other Wakandians. All the AIs, Ned, MJ, some kid named Harley, and May were in it too of course. They gave a collective sigh through text at the video Ned sent and May put one microwave meal back in the freezer.