“Take fourteen!”
The camera pans around, focusing on the argument that is escalating with every second, building to a crescendo as Steve slaps Tony on the face with a resounding crack that resonates through the whole studio.
Taika Waititi grins. This was even better than he’d expected. He brings up a finger to his lips as the cameraman looks askance at him, settling back in his director’s chair to watch the real entertainment.
In the middle of the set, Steve Rogers melts away to give way to a harried looking Chris Evans, who steps closer to Robert Downey Jr. to assess the damage. Robert’s cheek is bright red, or at least what can be seen of it, given that his palm is clasped to his face, his mouth open in shock.
“Shit shit, Robert- that was. Very much not part of the script.” Chris looks genuinely apologetic, but the corner of his mouth twitches ever so slightly. “I wasn’t thinking about it, and they called out that the cameras were rolling and I just- panicked.” The twitch returns with a violent intensity, and it doesn’t seem as though Evans would last the minute.
He lasts twenty seconds. Shame, Taika wonders sadly, I should have bet on that.
“Sorry, sorry, I wasn’t- I’m not laughing at you, I swear, but just- your face, Rob, your face was priceless- “ Chris chokes off into another smothered giggle.
Robert looks down at Chris’ wheezing body, his face curving up into an expression of badly concealed amusement and excruciating fondness that he tries to curb before Chris looks up to see him. His body language represents a casual, open ease and it somehow seems like they’ve forgotten that they’re in a room full of people that are watching their every move.
“Dorito, you’re like, this close to being put on the Naughty list for this year’s Christmas.” Robert holds out a hand, his thumb and forefinger pinched together to show just how close. Chris looks up, his face glowing, only to be stopped short by the look of endearment on Robert’s face.
Taika narrows his eyes. This may just-
Chris straightens, suddenly confident, now that he’s seen the look. Robert is still confused, more so when Chris steps forward, closing the distance between them, regal and tall and beautiful in his Captain America gear, and grabs his face in both hands. He swoops down to kiss him, the movement strong and sinuous, closing the gap between them with a military precision that Captain America would have been proud of. He bends Robert backwards as he kisses him softly, gently, almost sweetly at first, and then dialling it up a notch or two with exploring tongues and desperate, breathy moans joining the fray as Robert comes alive in his arms.
The moment breaks with the clatter of a tray as one of the spot boys trips over a stray wire. Taika frowns. But it’s too late.
The two of them come to their senses, and break apart, their chests heaving with exertion. Chris seems chastised, almost nervous as he takes in the wide-eyed crew standing around with various levels of shock marring their faces. Robert seems to have no such qualms. With a rough, rakish smirk, he waves up to the crew, and tugs Evans away by grabbing his hand and dragging him away towards the exit. Probably for the best. It doesn't seem to look as though they’d be in any mood to shoot any time soon. Chris looks up in apology to Taika, but is soon pulled out of sight, an embarrassed smile turning the corners of his lips upwards.
Taika Waititi smiles. This was definitely better than he’d expected.
The camera keeps rolling.
**
If a part of the scene filmed makes it onto the Age Of Ultron: Blooper Reel when Joss Whedon goes to get it looked over by Taika- well, all he can say is: it would have been a damn shame, otherwise.