At the Hearth of Home
Day 366
“Good morning, beloved,” Steve turns from the toaster to wave at a dishevelled Tony. Tony had spent all night scrapping blueprints and drawing new ones for a self-sustaining cooling system to deliver to hospitals and villages hardest hit by rising temperatures, the inspiration flashing and refusing to let Tony rest until he had finalised it.
They live together now, Steve having helped Tony convert his spare room into an adequate workroom to house DUM-E and Tony’s tools, with Pepper’s place that Tony had been using being turned into a glorified storage for the mess of wires and batteries Tony hoards. JARVIS has also been installed, Peter unable to contain his excitement at the thought of a fully fledged AI helping him with his homework.
That forces them to think of limits and rules and all the compromises that come with living together.
There’s a rule that Tony only gets a maximum of two non-consecutive all-nighters a week, and Peter cannot enter Tony’s workroom without supervision until he graduates high school. In turn, Steve agrees to leave Tony be when he works, and tries to understand that part of Tony will always thirst for better and more and even better.
Sometimes, Steve will sit on the couch shoved into the corner of the workroom and let his hands trace the curves of Tony’s brilliance, the sharp edges of Tony’s gaze, the familiar slopes of Tony’s crinkled smile. Other times, Steve will lie on top of the covers of their bed, too tired to stop himself from drifting off into sleep. Those times, Steve will wake up in the morning with a blanket spread over him, and the empty space next to him warm and safe.
Last night was one of the latter times, Steve having gone to bed alone but waking up knowing that Tony had spared the time to take a break just to check on Steve.
It’s reason enough for Steve to make Tony’s favorite toast and pancakes for breakfast, taking advantage of Peter being in school and having no morning appointments to spoil Tony, who comes over to Steve with a bounce in his steps that tells Steve all about the night’s success.
“Good morning, sunshine,” Tony pecks Steve’s cheek, then beelining to the counter to grab for the warm mug of coffee Steve brewed earlier, sipping gratefully into it. As he regains full lucidity, Tony takes notice of the bowl of dough next to the mug, “why’re you making special pancakes?”
Steve grins, turning back to his sizzling pan and taking out a plate from the cupboard beneath the stove, “it’s been a year since we met.”
“That’s not true,” Tony frowns even as JARVIS chimes in to confirm that Steve is indeed correct.
“I was a dick, but a year feels like it needs a small celebration.”
Steve flops the pancake onto the plate, putting large amounts of blueberry sauce over it before he serves it on the counter in front of Tony, reaching around to take the dough. Tony is smiling widely at him, “I like your dick, though, and it isn’t even our anniversary, you sap.”
Snorting, Steve pours some dough onto the pan, “says the one who’s dug through an AI’s records to find the exact time we first kissed.”
Tony elects to ignore him, changing the subject completely, “did you buy this coffee when you drove Peter to school?”
“No,” Steve hums as he flips the pancake. It’s not a perfect circle, but he’s not cooking to impress. “Why?”
“It tastes exactly like the coffee you bring to the lab in the mornings. Is it the same beans?” Tony asks in between loud slurps, “I need the recipe.”
Steve stiffens, a red flush creeping into his ears as he admits, “I needed efficiency to sustain your ungodly coffee habits, so I learned to make my own. And I could experiment on what you like.”
There’s the heavy thump of a mug hitting a hard surface, and Steve pointedly focuses all his attention to moving the pancake to another plate and pouring the next batch of dough. Steve hadn’t revealed to anyone the extent and speed with which he’d been enchanted by Tony, and part of him is scared that Tony will be freaked by the lengths Steve had gone to.
“You experimented on what coffee I liked? And all those paper coffee cups I threw away?” Tony asks, a note of awe laced in his confusion that allows Steve to slightly relax, “did you buy fake coffee cups?”
Making a non-committal noise, Steve points to the small cabinet at the other end of the kitchen, and he watches from the corner of his eye as Tony walks over to it, hearing the sharp breath Tony takes when he opens it and towers of unused paper cups tumble out.
Steve meets Tony’s wide-eyed look with a guilty smile and a shrug, quickly going back to pretending to focus on his cooking. It doesn’t work, though, because for all that Tony might be slightly detached from his emotions, Tony is shrewd and perceptive, particularly with regard to Steve.
As Steve flops another pancake to the growing stack on the plate, he feels two arms wrap around his waist, Tony hugging Steve from behind, leaning forward to press into Steve as much as possible. His chin barely reach Steve’s shoulders, and Steve can feel Tony rising on the tips of his toes to press a kiss beneath Steve’s jaw.
“Thank you,” Tony murmurs against Steve’s skin, and Steve easily understands all the hidden weight behind those two simple words.
Day 416
“I’m sorry,” Tony sighs from the bedroom door, Steve’s back turned towards him. It’s Steve’s birthday, which makes it their one year anniversary, but Tony had almost entirely missed dinner and then had to leave again not long after.
Tony isn’t as much of a celebrity as he used to be before he stepped down as CEO and gave the job to Pepper in the wake of Rumiko’s death, and yet the media is still hungry for gossip and Tony still has to contend with the Board of Directors and Obadiah to pass his patents through to production.
More motivated than ever by a desire to do right by Steve, Tony had covertly launched an investigation into Stark Industries, trying new avenues to try uncover the leak in weapons that neither Tony nor JARVIS had been able to find, and just yesterday, they had managed to hit a possible trail of fake transactions that chilled Tony. It seemed, however, that somebody had managed to get wind of Tony’s activities, which was ridiculous because Tony had only notified Pepper and Obadiah.
Tony trusted Pepper unconditionally, and while Tony didn’t trust Obie to not put Tony’s medical patents into military use, he trusted Obie enough to help sway the Board and make the investigation more smooth sailing.
The Board had found out, though, and were filing an injunction against Tony that forced Tony to abandon his work at SHIELD and plans for the day in favour of battling them, the media shitstorm, and their threats against Steve and Peter, who they somehow knew of too and thought they could use to try control Tony.
Tony had explained to Steve that it was urgent business, but didn’t have time to explain much more. Between Steve’s anger or Steve’s safety, Tony knew which one he would pick without question.
Now, though, faced with Steve’s stony silence, Tony wishes he didn’t have to choose. He’s tired and stressed, and having to cope with Steve’s anger and Peter’s disappointment is a weight Tony doesn’t think he can bear.
“I’ll sleep on the couch,” Tony says to the silences, lingering for another hopeful moment that maybe Steve will let him explain. Steve stays unmoving, though, and Tony struggles to breathe as he turns around.
His life is a mess and this is only the first time Steve’s been exposed to the true depths of the complications that come with Tony being a Stark. Something bitter wells up in Tony, and he pushes it quickly back down. If he were Steve, he would also find it difficult to cope with these heights of insanity, and Tony feels himself forgive Steve for any change of mind now or in the future.
Before Tony attempts to sleep, he brings himself to the kitchen, pouring a glass of cold water, trying to calm his frayed nerves. It does little to help, and Tony sighs, leaning against the counter and dropping his face into his hands, trying to breathe through the tightness.
He doesn’t know how long he stand there, just trying to get some proper air, he only knows that the next thing he’s aware of is a hand snaking around his waist, settling against his hip.
“I’m sorry, too,” Steve confesses. “Pepper called me earlier today to explain what you couldn’t. I’m angry at those assholes, not you – well, I’m a bit angry at you, too, for putting yourself in the line of fire for me, but mainly at them. Hearing you apologise and take the blame for them just made me even angrier and I needed to calm down before I talked with you.”
Tony doesn’t lean into Steve, afraid of what more Steve will say, afraid of breaking the fragility between them. “I’m sorry,” Tony apologises again, the words muffled against his hands.
He feels Steve shake his head. “Don’t apologise. You don’t have to prove yourself to me, Tony. I don’t need you to find out who was responsible for the explosion – I do want you to find out who so it doesn’t happen again – but I don’t want you to do it because you feel like you owe me something.”
Gently, Steve coaxes Tony’s head out of his hands, turning Tony around so he can look him in the eye. “I want you safe, Tony, above all else, I want you safe and happy. And this whole mess isn’t on you.”
“I missed your birthday and our anniversary,” Tony whispers guiltily, flicking his eyes towards the floor, too scared to meet the fierceness in Steve’s gaze.
“I hope we have so many more birthdays and anniversaries together that it won’t matter that you missed one out of so many,” Steve kindly tells Tony, and those words are enough to surprise Tony into looking at Steve’s smile. Knowing that he has Tony’s full attention, Steve goes on, “you need to keep yourself safe to see all those years ahead of us.”
There are tears falling down Tony’s cheeks now, and Steve closes the little distance between them to take Tony in his arms, holding him as he trembles against Steve.
“Come to bed with me,” Steve whispers in Tony’s ear, soft and sure, “we’ll figure out the rest in the morning.”
Tony nods against Steve’s shirt, and they stay like that for a moment longer until Steve reaches down behind Tony’s knees, carrying Tony as he clings desperately to Steve.
Usually, Tony would complain, but now, as he lets himself begin to believe in the possibilities of the coming years, Tony succumbs to the exhaustion of the day, the light sway in Steve’s steps lulling him into sleep, easy in the knowledge that when he wakes up in the morning, Steve be right there next to him.