Blood is Thicker
Day 245
Every time Steve has been dropping by the ICU more often than necessary, he invariably comes across one of Tony’s fiercest protectors. He doesn’t step into the private room, hovering outside the glass walls to peer at the heart monitor, needing to see for himself that Tony is still breathing, that nothing is amiss and no complications have arisen. The general consensus is that Tony needs to stay in the coma for another two days, and something deep in Steve aches at the sight of Tony’s closed eyes, a breathing tube inserted between his lips, and IV tubes in both his arms. Helen’s Cradle has done miracles: Tony’s skin is nearly absent of blemishes, but the trauma to his body still requires recovery.
It isn’t right that Tony should be so quiet and unmoving – and yet it also wasn’t right for Steve to have shoved him away, to have assumed so blindly and take his fears and doubts out on Tony. When Steve had finally asked, Sam had gotten him an on-the-spot appointment with Doctor Xavier, and while Steve knew that one appointment wouldn’t be a cure-all and it would be much more work – he would have to learn to balance the appointments on top of his already tight schedule at SHIELD and with Peter – Steve felt, for the first time, that there might be a little light at the end this tunnel.
Tony might never forgive Steve, he had more than every right to, but Steve owed it to Tony, to Peter, to his family, and to himself to understand how not to repeat his outburst and his mistakes in the future. He didn’t want anyone else to be hurt just because he was too full of the past to not trust the present, because he was too rooted in his own beliefs that he couldn’t pause to try understand, to try ask, communicate.
Peter is still cross with him, and the only reason he talked with Steve today was the promise that Steve would bring him over to see Tony. And now they’re at the doors to Tony’s room, Peter fiddling with the letter he’s had since he came into the car and told Steve in no uncertain terms that they were going to go visit Tony.
There’s a man sitting in the chair next to the bed dabbing a wet towel over Tony’s face, carefully smoothing away stray curls of hair, and as soon as Steve presses the button the slides the doors open, the man’s head whips around to glare at them.
“You’re Steve,” he says, voice hard and cold. Then, his eyes flick down to Peter, who steps determinedly into the room.
“And I’m Peter. You must be Mr. Rhodey. I promise I won’t be loud, I just want to give Mr. Tony – my father – this,” Peter explains in a loud whisper, holding out the envelope to Rhodey.
“I won’t come in,” Steve hastily adds, because of all the stories he has heard about Rhodey, Steve knows that Rhodey has and would go to the ends of the world for Tony. “Peter wanted to see his father and I – I had no right to stop him.”
The man stands up, eyes fixed on Steve as the places the towel on the bedside table and walks over to the door. He stops in front of Peter, crouching down so he can place his hands on each of Peter’s shoulders and look at Peter.
“Tony has told me so much about you,” Rhodey reaches out to take Peter’s right hand, where Tony’s watch is securely strapped. Peter tracks his movements as Steve holds his breath.
“He has?” Peter asks with awe in his voice.
Steve feels the guilt weigh even heavier. Peter is Steve’s son, but Peter isn’t just Steve’s son. Growing up, Steve didn’t have anybody except his mother and the Barnes family. Peter has… everyone, from Natasha to Thor to Peggy and even Rhodey, and most of all Tony, who would never hurt Peter, and who loved Peter as his own when he didn’t know who Peter was other than that Peter was a brilliant, kind young man.
“Yeah, even though he’s freaked out by your favorite creepy crawlers.”
There’s a kindness to Rhodey’s words as his knowing eyes shine with mischief. All at once, Steve understands why Tony loves this man, why Tony, too, would go to the ends of the world for Rhodey.
“Why don’t you go sit in that chair? Tony can’t answer you right now, but there’s a big chance he can hear you, and that will make his dreams better,” Rhodey goes on, and Steve is grateful for it because he himself doesn’t know what to say. “I’ll be outside with your dad for a moment.”
As soon as Rhodey stands up, Peter darts over to the bed, and Steve silently stands back to let Rhodey step outside with him.
Once the doors slide close, Rhodey doesn’t hesitate. “Let’s cut this short so the kid doesn’t have to see this. What do you want with Tony?”
“I, uh, I want to apologize.”
Rhodey doesn’t look impressed. “And?”
“And I’ll stay away. I’ve asked the Director to pass a circular letter from me explaining that I was at fault and I’ve been put on probation. The staff here shouldn’t be bothering him and won’t be giving him a hard time.”
To realise and admit that he was wrong was hard for Steve, but to figure out what to do next? Steve could wallow in his guilt later. He had always been a strategist, and figuring out what to do to at least make Tony’s recovery easier was something Steve could do. Peggy hadn’t been ready to forgive Steve yet, but she by the end of his request, she had given him a smile. And that was a start.
That was a hope.
“Don’t you dare mess with him again, Captain,” Rhodey growled. From any other person, it would have been a honorific. From the Lieutenant Colonel, Steve knew it for the threat it was.
Rhodey doesn’t bother dismissing Steve, he just stalks back into Tony’s room, leaving Steve to hover in the hallway, mind too full and heart too heavy.
Maybe, Steve hopes as he watches Peter smile at Rhodey and Rhodey smile back, maybe something good could come out of this – if not for Steve, then for Peter.
Day 247
The steady beeping is as familiar as it is annoying. Behind the darkness of his heavy eyes, Tony feels light. There’s something on his face, and he wants to grab it off, but his arms are heavy. There’s something warm on his hand, it’s comfortable, and yet Tony wants it to move so he can get the beeping off.
“Hey, sleepyhead, wake up before they start panicking.”
Tony knows that voice. He doesn’t want to wake up, though, it’s too nice to stay. He groans to get them and the beeping away.
“That’s it,” the voice coaxes, “wake up so you can curse at me.”
Opening his eyes is a feat that Tony personally thinks should be rewards with an Olympic medal. It takes all of his strength to pry his eyelids apart, and when he succeeds, he sees a dark blob floating in his vision.
“Go ‘way, Rh’dey.”
“I told you he’d be fine!” Rhodey whispers victoriously, and then, “alright you can go back to sleep, idiot.”
Tony wants to tell Rhodey that Rhodey’s the stupid one for waking Tony up with no reason, but he’s pulled back by the soft darkness too quickly.
Day 248
“Don’t you dare leave,” Rhodey tells Tony as the bed rises to let Tony sit up in comfort. Having finally woken up lucid to no pains thanks to the IVs he’s tried to pull out, Tony is itching to leave, and he would have if not for Rhodey sitting like a mother hen at his bedside.
“I don’t want to,” Tony groans. He doesn’t want to stay, doesn’t want to meet anyone, doesn’t want to meet –
“Peter left you a letter.”
“What?” Tony’s eyes snap open.
Rhodey waves an envelope in the air, an eyebrow raised as Tony darts out one hand to grab it and Rhodey moves just out of Tony’s reach. “Nope. You don’t get to read it until you promise you will not leave that bed unassisted until at least tomorrow.”
Tony pouts. “Platypus, I’m fine! The Cradle’s made me as healthy as a babe. I don’t even hurt. Plus, I’ve been in bed for like six days.”
“And you spent one of those days dying four times!” Rhodey exclaims. Here, in this private room that Tony’s been moved to, Rhodey doesn’t need to worry about disturbing other patients. “I’m entitled to worry.”
“Fine,” Tony relents, only to calm his friend down, “I know you missed my endless phone calls.”
Rhodey huffs, battling a smile. He understands that Tony means I’m sorry for stressing you out.
“Look, Tony, don’t let Rogers off the hook easy, okay? If you do, I’m not going to give him an easy time. I get why he did some of the things he did, but the other things?” Rhodey shakes his head as he hands Tony the letter. “You focus on taking care of yourself first before you think about him.”
Tony swallows hard. It overwhelms him, sometimes, how much Rhodey cares for him, and how lucky he is to have him. “Don’t worry, I have you to mother hen me to sleep.”
“I met Natasha,” Rhodey laughs, “she’ll manage in my absence.”
He settles into the bedside chair as Tony carefully peels the envelope open. Tony doesn’t know what to expect, what Peter would even want to say, and does this mean Steve has changed his mind about letting Tony near Peter? Was it Tony nearly dying that made Steve change his mind?
The writing is surprisingly neat for a child, though the letters are bigger than normal and sometimes float off the lines. Tony can see the eraser marks from where Peter kept changing the words, and it sets off something in Tony to know that Peter spent so long writing this.
Mr. Dad Tony,
Would you mind if I called you that? If I call both my dad and you the same thing, it would get confusing really fast. And I want you to be my second dad so confusing is bad. I’m angry at dad for making you leave, but he promised me I get to see you once a week if we both want, so I’m a tiny bit less angry. I miss you, so please wake up, Mr. Dad Tony. Bitsy misses you too.
I read the letter you left me so this is my reply. Ms. Parker at school who is helping me write says it’s ok to have two dads and dads don’t have to be biological as long as they love you. But I really like spending time with you and it would be cool if I had your genius genes and you love me. I know you said you wasn’t ready for me eight years ago and I’m glad I got my dad Steve, but if you’re ready now, I want you to hug me and build more spiders and watch Cap throw his shield with me.
If not, you don’t have to worry like you said in your letter, Mr. Dad Tony. I’m angry now but I am happy with my dad, and I was happy when I was with you too. And if you still leave, I’m happy I met you. I just really want you to wake up. Please don’t die.
Love,
Peter
It’s unfair, Tony thinks, it’s unfair that Peter should know so much about goodbyes. It’s unfair that he’s already preparing to lose his birthfather twice. I was happy when I was with you, Peter had written, and Tony wants to cry, he wants to have this so badly. Now that he’s been forced back here by the most bizarre circumstances, he can’t force himself to leave again, not for the third time.
“Hey,” Rhodey murmurs, “we’ll get through this, alright? You can do whatever you want – except leave this room. You’re still not leaving until tomorrow.”
Tony sniffles, wiping his nose, careful to keep the letter safe. “Can I – can you see if I can see the kid?”
Rhodey smiles, “I’ll make sure nobody can stop you. But for now, rest.”
He holds out Tony’s tablet, knowing full well that JARVIS would give Tony the distraction needed, and for a long while, they stay like that, safe in the knowledge that through all these years, they still have each other.