Mana ngwen polne mai náne [Unfinished - Discontinued]

Hey lovely readers!

I'm sorry to say, that this isn't an update.
I know, I know. You feel cheated and enraged that it took a year or so for me to officially close this fic down. For that hope you had when opening this chapter, I'm sorry.

Things happened. Good and bad - new job with better pay but the same stressful shithole, me starting uni again to get another diploma hoping it will help me get better pay to have more time writing. The whole devil's circle. But unfortunatelly, this wasn't easy. I also started working on my OG stories. So there's that.
I also just realized how different I want this story to go. I couldn't get back into the headspace required to write what's next, and the chapters I have prepared felt empty. So I decided to pull the plug, and start a new - which I have no idea when will happen. I want to rework many things. And while the whole fea-switch is amazing, and I'll do something with it, I'm currently not in the right place/mind to do so.
For now, I'm focusing on short stories. I want to write, and fanfics are a huge serotonin and dopamine rush. I will just stick to short stories that have an end already.

With that said, I don't want any of you to walk away with nothing. With not knowing how I wanted this story to end.

So, here are - in no particular order - things regarding this story:

• the title idea came from Arcane's soundtrack - What we could've been, that's the literal translation
• it was Miríel from the OG timeline to travel back into the Past and warn herself about the dangers - Eru know and had aided her in that mission
• Finwe in the past was a dick to Feanor as he believed he was the reason of Miríel's death, which culminated in him hitting Feanor
• past-feanor's half-siblings saw and Feanor's eldest sister (from Miríel) took him away and made Formenos for them
• this tainted the kids' relationship with Finwe a lot
• the kids who never came to be in the OG timeline were in Mandos as "unborn" bodies - their feas were present but decisions were made which lead to their none-exsistence
• towards the middle, they would have been released from the halls
• each of the finweans would have switched places with their fanfic/past- selves (now calling it the FF timeline) and this would have allowed the OG elves to learn from their mistakes
• there were two Melkors in the FF timeline and the OG ones would have had to travel to that dimension after getting back into their OG bodies
• the end of Arda or Dagor dagorath would have been the two timelines seperating from each other
• Feanor and Nerdanel had a scene where they had to come to terms with how they raised their kids - in no way were they terrible parents, but they ignored/neglected certain aspects of their sons and focused too much on their respective crafts
• Ruska (Maedhros) had a mental breakdown over everything, and he had a long recovery arc where his brothers would take care of him
• Caranthir and Feanor talking about how Moryo feels "singled out" and how he feels he doesn't belong
• Feanor having a heart to heart with Fingolfin and the importance of names and pronounciation being brought up
• Finarfin having time with his brothers, him shouting at them as he tells them through tears how he felt all their life and rebirth
• Feanor trying and failing at first in reconnecting with his sons
• Ruska's traum getting adressed, also the "parentification"
• Maglor getting hugs and help, his traumas getting healed slowly
• Ambarussar and Feanor's tainted relationship as well as Turgon's and Aredhel's because of Maeglin's actions
• Elrond grieving Elros - who in the FF timeline remained and elf - and fighting tooth and nail, unhiged to keep the family he has
• Bilbo's words of wisdom and advice as he passes away and ends up in the Halls of Aule where he meets Thorin
• Frodo mourning his life, a what could have been had the ring never came to him
• Gandalf - being the closest maia to any mortal - understanding the emotions that lay with his friends and helping them guide their feelings
• Maeglin chosing for himself, and as Lómion slowly healing past Eöl's abuse
• Aredhel and Tyelko ending up in a platonic relationship
• Russingon wedding scene
• Ruska getting an older sister and brother, who pamper him and go to war to keep him safe
• Sauron getting his arse handed to him in a fury of events where he is almost killed
• Melkor being exiled back into the Void, where Eru finally acts as a parent and has a long and overdue talk with him and his followers
• Entwives being brought back by Pippin and Merry 
• Faramir reuniting with Boromir towards the end, the two of them talking out their repressed emotions due to Denethor - Boromir being delighted that he is an uncle
• Boromir and Frodo making up, Boromir "redeeming" himself when he doesn't let the void corrupt him and takes Melkor's essence back to the Valar to help and defeat him
• Theodred and Theoden tearful reunion - whilst the FF timeline ones prosper and find happiness
• a bittersweet end, as even with Arda mostly right, Beleriand is still in ruins, Numenor mostly submerged, and the elves having to leave ME
• Thilbo and Company with Dis, Vili and Frerin traversing to Mordor to snuff out the last of Sauron's magic and remenising about old times
• many whishing they could have done it again - only to be reminded that they did, as the FF timeline doesn't face the same hardships and heartbreaks as they did
• Anaire, Nerdanel and Earwen going with their husbands to the war
• Feanor and Finwe have a tense relationship - as OG Finwe, while being a great king and leader, didn't pay attention to how the changes affected his son
• Indis and Feanor sitting down and even if not on best terms, but get to the bottom of their problems
• Ingwion standing up to Manwe on what's right and supporting Feanor
• Manwe and other Valar getting called out on their laziness and favoritsm - regarding mostly Melkor and how the whole Lamps thing was treated
• Curufin reconciling with Tylepe - whose on trauma from Sauron needs healing
• Elros and Elrond meet with their parents, but also welcome Ruska and Maglor into their lives
• Eluréd and Elurín grow up, and while they are stand offish, eventually manage to talk to the Feanorions
• Elwing gets called out by her sons
• Legolas and Thranduil talk more about his mother, he also takes Gimli to Valinor where they settle down, and after Gimli's death, he frees him from Mahal's Halls
• Bilbo meets his parents - who are quite amused by his speech at his 111th birthday - and the three have a cry session
• Bilbo also meets with his other relatives, while Thorin gets to spend time with his mom, dad and grandparents
• Thrór reunites with his siblings
• one of Melkor's dragons gets tamed by an elf and some orcs are turning back into elves via the power of love and friendship (and magic)
• Glorfindel allows himself time to grieve with the Lord of Gondolin
• Elrond getting babied by his family
• Beren and Lúthien escape from Mandos and Beren getting to live like Tuor
• Haleth and Andreth reunite with their elven prince
• towards the end, post battle, it's hinted that the mortals who wish can rejoin the elves, meaning Elrond reunites with Elros
• Ambarussar travel the world
• the new members of the Finweans bringing a sort of peace and love into the family that was missed
• Bilbo's friendship with the Finweans
• Sam and Frodo traveling Aman, and after the battle enjoying "retirement" with Merry and Pippin

While it may not seem so, the fic was character development driven. With many characters already present, and the story started how it did, I felt that not much was done with the Finweans - even when the fic mostly focused on them - and am now undertaking the job of creating my OC's for this family. Most of the feelings and emotions conveyed that shaped the story, whether it was the OG or FF timeline was mostly my own headcanons. Some were theories or scrapped ideas by Tolkien.

As it is, I do not wish to continue this story. At leats, not the way it is. The characters will make an appearence in other stories - as I have more to add, and rewriting this fic is doing nothing good to my mental health, no brainpower for it currently - and I have plans to make a story that is better than this one. Right now, I will focus on shorts, and aspects which I can handle easily. I won't start anything great, and even when I do, I'll try and finish it by the time of posting.

In any case, I thank you fro reading this and the story.

I'm sorry it came to an end like this, but I hope you made some good memories.

Wishing you the best,

~Liz