Goodbyes
Night had fallen before you finally mustered up the courage to start to say your good-byes. You didn’t know where to start or even what to say. You thought it best you keep your mission between you and Heimdall. You quickly turned a corner in the castle still trying to think of the right words to say when you collided against something hard. You stumbled back, losing your footing but a strong hand caught your arm before you fell.
“(Y/N)? I had not realized you left your room. Have you need of something?”
You recognized the voice instantly, only it was less boastful than normal.
“I’m okay. Thank you Thor.”
You briefly caught his eyes as he pulled you back into a standing position. But he quickly turned away. You both stood there in silence.
“I-“
“I am truly sorry.”
Thor’s voice cut off yours.
“I did everything I could, I know how much he meant to you.”
You had never seen Thor like this, it was like all his arrogance was gone. You were taken aback.
“I tried to hold on to him, but he just let go.”
There was a slight crack in his voice at the end. You quickly placed a hand on his arm.
“It’s okay Thor, Heimdall said you did everything you could. I believe you. He was your brother, I am sorry for your loss as well.”
Thor brought his hand up to yours giving it a soft squeeze. A silence fell over you. You decided it best not to tell him you were leaving as well. He would only try and stop you or worse, come with you, and Asgard needed him more than you did. You took a deep breath and slowly dropped your hand from his arm but he held onto yours.
“Do you know where Sif is?”
“Last I saw she was leaving the great hall heading for the training grounds.”
“Thank you.”
You have his hand a soft squeeze, he took the sign and let go. You slowly moved past him towards the training grounds but paused near the end of the corridor. You slowly turned back to him.
“You will make a great king someday.”
Thor turned to you, a shocked expression on his face, you gave him your most genuine smile before turning down the next hall towards the training grounds.
You neared the training grounds and wondered if Sif was indeed there. The area remained rather silent, only sounds from the crackling torches reaching your ears. You made the final turn and instantly were hit with the sound of clinking metal. Guess that answers that. You moved to stand beside a column, the courtyard that made up the training grounds sitting in front of you. Sif was along the other side beating the life out of a practice dummy.
“You know they have feelings right?”
Sif finished one more swing, completely taking off the head of the dummy before turning to you.
“Just because you named each one does not mean they have feelings.”
She tossed her sword to the side quickly bending to grab a canteen of water before making her way to you.
“Iralyth begs to differ.”
You pointed at the dummy that was barely hanging onto the post. Sif took a quick sip of water before coming to stop in front of you, her eyes searching yours. You began to feel a bit uneasy and turned away.
“Whatever you are thinking of doing, don’t.”
You let out a soft gasp your face quickly turned back to hers.
“What?”
“I understood how you felt, staying in your room for days, not eating, barely speaking to anyone. But now you are here telling jokes? I don’t know what you have planned but I beg of you, do not go through with it.”
Sif grabbed you by the shoulders, her eyes refusing to leave yours.
“We will get through this, you have people here, people who care for you, do not give that up.”
You could feel the intense emotion radiating from her and you almost believed her words. Almost. You raised your hands, removing Sif from your shoulders and taking her hands in yours. You gave her the best smile you could muster as you held back the tears.
“I’m sorry Sif, but I can’t stay here.”
You could practically see her heart break, but you kept your composure.
“This is something that I must do, but I am not giving up, I have found something to fight for, it’s just not here.”
You could see her processing your words.
“Then let me come with you, we will fight through this together.”
You softly shook your head, your thoughts returning to your meeting with Thor a few minutes ago.
“He needs you here.”
A soft whimper left her lips as she tossed her arms around you.
“Just know you always have family here, if you ever need anything, just ask.”
You held her close, doing everything in your power to control the growing emotion inside you. Sif was the first to pull away, quickly wiping the few tears from her face.
“You better not die, or I will storm Valhalla to bring you back.”
You gave a soft laugh.
“Same to you. Be safe. And take it easy on Iralyth.”
She laughed through her tears punching you softly on the shoulder.
“No promises.”
You gave her one final smile before turning away. The emotions you were trying to hold back finally breaking through as you exited the training grounds, a tear falling down your face.
You managed to get your emotions back in check as you headed for your final stop. You were still trying to get your thoughts in order when the garden came into view. You finally realized Heimdall was telling the truth. The once tranquil garden was torn askew, bushes were missing branches, flowerbeds were trampled and the pear tree had way more gashes in it than you remembered. As you took in the garden your eyes fell on a woman tending to a sad-looking flower on the opposite side. You felt your chest tighten, you still had no idea what you were going to say.
“I’m glad you have finally ventured outside your room.”
The soft voice made you jump and you instinctively ducked behind one of the columns.
“Come now sweetie, aren’t we past all that?”
She kept her eyes on the flower in front of her but her hand waved you over. You stayed planted along the column for a few moments before venturing out across the garden. You stopped a few meters from where Frigga was kneeling, still not sure exactly what to say. Instead, you watched her tend to the plant. Its stem had been nearly severed and nearly all of the petals had fallen to the ground. To be honest, you would be surprised if it was still upright by the morning. Yet, Frigga was in the process of bracing the stem on either side.
“Why bother, there is no way it will survive.”
Frigga did not look up from the plant.
“It is my responsibility to make sure it does.”
“What?”
You had seen Frigga pull out thousands of plants before, some sick with illness, some destroyed by your training sessions. Whatever the case, she removed them to ‘allow the others the chance to thrive.’ And yet she seemed to be doing everything in her power to keep this one alive.
“It was my anger that caused the damage, it is my responsibility to make it right.”
You heard the sadness in her voice, which in turn brought your emotions back to the surface. You swiftly knelt beside her and helped tie the braces in place.
“What if we can’t save it?”
Her hands slowly pulled away from the flower.
“Then we didn’t deserve to have it in our garden in the first place, and shall learn from our mistakes so nothing else in the garden meets the same fate.”
You kept your eyes on the plant, fearing looking at her would release the feelings you were trying so hard to keep back.
“Then I must do everything in my power to save it.”
“Sweetie, it is not your responsibility. You did not break it.”
You felt a gentle hand on your shoulder and fought to keep the tears at bay.
“Even if I didn’t cause all the damage, I failed to protect it. I am just as much at fault as anyone.”
You felt the hand lift from your shoulder but quickly arms enveloped you in a tight hug.
“You do what you must sweetie. No matter what I will be here for you when you return.”
You froze in confusion for a second but quickly returned the hug. Your emotions finally getting the better of you as a few tears trickled down your cheeks. You remained in her embrace for a few minutes, neither of you wanting to pull away.
“You should get some rest, you will need it.”
Frigga slowly pulled away from you and you took the moment to wipe your damp cheeks.
“Oh, and please, take this with you.”
Frigga pulled out a cloth and handed it over to you. It was fairly heavy and you gathered there was something inside. You gave her a questioning look which she returned with a small nod. You flipped the cloth over in your hand and slowly unwrapped it. You froze as the final piece of cloth fell away, revealing what was inside. Your eyes shot up to Frigga.
“I can’t.”
“It would be rude to refuse a gift.”
“But…”
Your eyes drifted down to your hands. The polished metal seemed to glimmer in the moonlight. Your fingers traced over the gold hilt till the edge before pausing. An emerald cloth drifted in the wind, but you couldn’t bring yourself to touch it.
“He would be so mad if he knew I had them.”
A half-hearted laugh left your lips as your eyes continued to trace over the daggers in your hands.
“Well, he can have them back when he comes home.”
A small smirk appeared on her face and you both broke into genuine laughs.
“I'll be sure to tell him that.”
You gave another soft laugh but it was cut short. The feeling of dread taking hold of you again. You carefully folded up the daggers again and rose to your feet. Frigga followed your motion and accompanied you to the edge of the garden, before turning to face you.
“Be careful sweetie. I could not bear to lose you both.”
“Of course.”
You moved to give her a small bow but once again you felt her arms around you. You returned the hug squeezing probably a little tighter than necessary. You felt her begin to pull away but you didn’t want to let go.
“No matter what happens, I will always love you.”
The words instantly brought tears to your eyes and you found yourself clutching on to her even tighter.
“No matter what?”
The words were barely audible through your sobs.
“No matter what.”