Gone
“Loki!”
You shot up from your bed, the scream you tried to make for so long finally coming to the surface. Your breathing was heavy and you could feel sweat dripping down your neck. Your whole body was shaking but you made no effort to stop it, your mind still trying to process what had just happened.
“(Y/N).”
You heard your name again, this time softer and closer. A soft hand touched your back causing you to flinch.
“It’s okay sweetie.”
The familiar voice pulled you out of your panic and you turned to it. At first, you barely recognized her. Frigga normally had a sense of calm about her, you rarely saw intense emotions affect her, however, this was different. You could tell she was defeated, even more so than when she asked you to talk to Loki. The thought of him brought the panic back to you, your hands beginning to shake. Frigga merely took your hands in hers and held them there.
“It’s okay.”
She repeated that over and over again, you didn’t know if it was to convince you or her at this point. Your eyes were trained on her, trying to piece together what was happening. She slowly reached out a hand and brushed your cheek. You finally realized you were crying, and it all seemed to connect.
“He’s gone…isn’t he?”
Frigga gave you a sad look before softly nodding.
“I’m sorry….I tried.”
You let the tears take over and dropped your head. You felt Frigga move beside you and take you into her arms.
“No, no, sweetie, it’s okay. None of it is your fault.”
She held you close, gently rocking you back and forth, hushing you softly as if you were a baby.
You didn’t know how long you stayed like that, all you know was at the end you felt drained. The tears had finally stopped but you didn’t feel any better, you just felt numb.
“I had a dream about him.”
Your tone was lifeless, not for lack of caring, more so you had no more emotion to give.
“Tell me about it.”
Frigga’s tone matched yours, her hoarse voice making you realize she had been crying too.
“It was the first festival I celebrated here.”
“Lithasblot.”
Frigga’s tone raised slightly.
“It was the morning. I couldn’t figure out how to put on my robes.”
You gave a soft laugh.
“Loki helped me, but he made me feel like an idiot the entire time.”
Frigga chuckled.
“That sounds like him. But the fact that he helped at all showed he cared.”
“I tried to stop him from leaving, but-“
A sob cut you off as tears began to fall again. Frigga turned you to face her, her hands moving to rest on your cheeks. You finally saw that she was crying too, a sight you had never seen before.
“In times like these, we must remember the good. That does not mean we cannot feel the bad, merely we cannot let the bad control our lives. Understand?”
You gave a soft nod.
“Can we stay like this, just awhile longer?”
Frigga gave you a soft nod before once again taking you into her arms. You tried to focus on what she said, to remember the good, but each thought of Loki brought more tears to your eyes. You wished the pain you felt in your chest would disappear, that your power could heal that too, but you knew this pain would remain forever.