Confused
Your mind was blank as you aimlessly wandered the halls. You replayed your conversation with Loki over and over in your head, thinking of countless ways it could have gone better. I should have stayed. We should have talked it through. No matter how much you reasoned with yourself you knew you wouldn’t have reacted any different. You were used to Loki’s tricks and schemes but this was too much, even for you. That got you thinking that if he told you, maybe it would have been better, you could have talked him down suggested something else. If you could just go back and help him. You tossed scenario after scenario around in your head, trying to make everything better, you hadn’t even realized where you walked to.
“It would not have changed anything.”
You snapped out of your head, your eye’s meeting Heimdall’s. The Bifrost?
“What?”
You quickly wiped the tears that were still left on your cheeks.
“No matter how much you contemplate it, you could not have changed the outcome, Loki has been on edge for quite some time now.”
You dropped your gaze, knowing he was right. But something clicked in your brain and you snapped your eyes back up.
“You were listening to us?!”
You practically screamed, your voice echoing throughout the Bifrost. Heimdall did not react.
“Contrary to beliefs I do not listen in on private conversations. However, I noticed you and Loki in the Library. You entered in a rush, but not emotional, yet how you exited. I can only deduce you and him had a fight.”
The rage in you slowly dwindled, and you dropped your gaze again. You bit your lip, trying to control your emotions but tears began to fall again. You turned away anger beginning to rise again, not towards Heimdall but towards yourself for letting your emotions win.
“Emotion is not a weakness, it merely shows us what we care about.”
You scoffed. How did he know everything?
“Maybe I care too much then.”
“There is no such thing.”
You took deep breaths, trying to gain control again. The tears slowly stopped falling, so you turned to Heimdall.
“I don’t know what to do.”
“What do you feel like you should do?”
You didn’t have an answer.
“I don’t know.”
Heimdall sighed.
“When you first came to Asgard you struggled in making friends. You spent a lot of your time with Loki and eventually Thor, but when they were busy you were on your own. I recall one such instance when you were on your way to see me. You stumbled across some children, picking on a stray dog.”
“Rune.”
The words left your mouth before you could even think. Heimdall nodded.
“You chased away the children beating it and attempted to heal the dog. Do you remember what happened?”
You stared at him, unsure what all this meant, but nodded.
“He bit me.”
“But you still healed it.”
“Well of course, he didn’t know any better. He was just defending himself from someone he figured was there to harm him.”
“Exactly, and you did not blame it for that. You healed it, even went so far as bring it back to the castle. As I recall Allfather was not so pleased. But you stood up for the dog, and cared for it for the remainder of its days.”
You thought back to Rune, a small, white, sickly puppy that grew into a powerful wolf-sized dog. The memories brought a smile to your face until you reached the end. You choked back tears, shaking your head.
“What does this have to do with anything?”
Heimdall sighed.
“You did not blame the dog for acting in its nature. Why are you blaming Loki for doing the same?”
Wait, What? Your eye’s widened in shock. He can’t be serious. You never thought you would see the day that Heimdall would defend Loki.
“I am not defending Loki, or his actions.”
You dropped your gaze. That’s more like it.
“However, I would hope, that if someone was there to help him through his tough moments, maybe he could turn out as well as Rune.”
You felt a strong hand land on your shoulder causing you to glance back up. Heimdall’s expression was soft and calm, causing all the negative emotions to be washed away.
“Now, what do you feel you should do?”
You contemplated everything. What Loki did was wrong. That made you feel hurt and betrayed. You didn’t want to talk to him right now. But if you didn’t talk things out things may get worse. You couldn’t sort out all your feelings, but you were certain of one thing. I can’t lose him. Heimdall seemed to sense your resolve as the weight of his hand lifted from your shoulder.
“Go, but know this, I will not give him anymore-“
Heimdall’s eyes shifted to behind you and his expression went dark. You quickly turned to face the castle but saw nothing. You glanced back at him.
“What’s wrong?”
“Allfather, he has fallen into the Odinsleep.”
But that wasn’t scheduled for another few years? You turned back to the castle, brow knit in confusion.
“He was with Loki when it happened.”
Heimdall’s voice was calm but you hinted the slight anger rising. You glanced back towards him but he merely nodded towards the castle.
“Go now. I pray you are not too late.”
Your heart began to beat faster as you turned and took off down the bridge.