Friends
So cold. Death was colder than you thought it would be. Why couldn’t it have at least been warm?
“(Y/N)…”
A voice echoed through the darkness. Loki?
“(Y/N)!”
It was definitely Loki. Wait, why was he here? Was he dead too? You tried to remember. Did I heal them all? Did they kill him anyway? What happened?!
“Please, wake up…”
Wake up? How do you wake up from death? You felt a cold weight on your hand which slowly tightened as if someone was holding it. Cold… You remembered when you touched Loki before, he felt cold. Is he holding my hand? Why can’t I see him? You concentrated on moving your hand. Envisioning Loki’s hand wrapped around yours, you tried desperately to hold his hand back.
“Don’t leave me alone here.”
His grip grew tighter and you grew more determined. I will not leave him. You felt your fingers twitch. I will not leave him. Your fingers curled around the coldness. I will not leave him! You felt your hand grip something tight as a bright light enveloped you.
“(Y/N)?”
Your eyes fluttered open at the sound of your name. You were laying on your back in your cell. Loki was hovering over you a look of relief on his face.
“You are alright.”
You just stared at him. What happened? You still felt the coldness on your hand and looked down to see Loki was indeed holding it. Loki noticed this and pulled his hand away quickly.
“Wh---app—ned?”
“What?”
Loki leaned a little closer to try and hear your hoarse voice.
“What happened?”
“I was hoping you could tell me. You left me here, remember? I did as you requested and stayed in the shadows until your return. What I did not expect was you returning in this condition.”
He glanced at your body and then back to you. Thats when the pain hit you. Your knees stung, your head was throbbing, and every breath you took felt like tiny needles piercing your chest.
“What did they do to you?”
Loki’s eyes were soft as he gazed at you with concern. You slightly shook your head.
“Nothing.”
Loki’s eye’s widened.
“This is nothing?”
He gestured at your wounds. You sighed slightly.
“I did this to myself...it’s my fault...for being me.”
Loki backed away slightly. He looked at the ground and began fidgeting with his hands. After a moment he looked back at you.
“Whatever you may be, no one deserves treatment like this.”
You turned your head, causing a fresh wave of pain.
“You don’t know that, there are many things that you do not know.”
“Then enlighten me.”
His voice was soft. You took a deep breath as the pain in your chest began to melt away. Finally. You turned back towards him slowly.
“Help me up?”
“I would like to voice my opposition to moving you, but seeing as you will do it anyway.”
Loki gave a slight sigh before helping you move into an upright position. The movement sent new pain through your body, but you did your best to hide any discomfort. Loki helped to shift you so your back could lean against the wall, before taking a spot next to you.
“I was brought here, as you know, many centuries ago. They told me my family sold me to them as a slave. That’s my first memory.”
You pulled your knees towards your chest, not realizing you were shaking until you felt a hand on your shoulder.
“You do not have to tell me if-“
You shook your head and took a deep breath.
“At first I was just serving drinks and food to the leaders. But then my powers began to develop, and they found new uses for me.”
“Powers?”
You turned to look at Loki whose face was scrunched in confusion. You returned the same look.
“You said it yourself, I saved you before, the stab wound, remember?”
“I had assumed you just nursed me back to health.”
Loki looked down at where his wound had been. A slow realization dawned on him as his hand traced over his smooth skin.
“There should be a scar.”
Loki turned back to you.
“What power do you possess, exactly?”
You caught his movement, although slight, as he leaned away. Your gaze turned back towards the ground.
“I possess the power to heal wounds, this power also accelerates my healing and allows me to survive wounds that would usually kill others.”
“So you are a witch then?”
You shot him a glance. He had on a calm façade, but you caught the all too familiar look of fear in his eyes.
“I don’t think that’s what it is. I was never taught magic, it was just something that manifested itself in me. I believe it is the power of my people.”
Loki looked down, fidgeting his hands for a moment, before looking back at you, less frightened than before.
“So what do they use your power for then?”
Your breath caught in your throat. You didn’t want to tell him. More so you didn’t want to admit it to yourself. I supply them with a never-ending army. You cast your gaze down again placing your face in your knees which had already healed themselves. Loki must have sensed your unease as you felt him slide closer to you.
“I am sorry, I had no right to-“
“I he—t---m.”
Your voice came out muffled by your legs.
“What?”
You took a breath.
“They make me heal their soldiers”
You spoke louder but refused to raise your head.
There was an awkward silence in the air. You didn’t know if he heard you and hated you, or didn’t hear you at all.
“Well that is not your fault is it?”
What? You raised your head slightly and turned towards him.
“They make you heal their injured, I can assume if you do not comply they torture you until you submit. Am I correct?”
You nodded your head.
“Then it is not your fault. You cannot blame yourself for doing what it takes to survive.”
Loki gave you the softest smile you had ever seen. Why?
“How do you not hate me?”
You could feel tears beginning to form in your eyes. Why are you being nice to me? You could feel Loki's shoulder brush against yours.
“You have saved me at least twice since I have been here. Why would I hate you?”
You turned back to your knees as the tears began to fall. Small sobs escaped your lips but you couldn’t stop. You had never felt kindness like this before. I was almost too much to bear. Loki hesitantly placed a hand on your back slowly moving it back and forth. You froze for a moment before focusing on the motion., the repetitive nature helping to calm you down.
“Sorry, I had no intention of making you cry.”
You focused on your breathing, stifling the sobs in your chest. I don't deserve him. With your breathing calmed you slowly raise your heading, your eyes meet Loki’s.
“I never had anyone be so nice to me before.”
“Well, you deserve it. Besides, I fear I am to blame for everything you went through last night.”
Loki's voice trailed off as he dropped his hand to his side and turned his gaze to the floor. Your face contorted in confusion.
“Why would it be your fault?”
He flinched a bit at your question and began fiddling with his hands again. You could tell he was thinking carefully about his next words.
“My family and I were on a peace-keeping mission in a distant land when we were attacked. We fought back but were ill-suited for battle. However, that did not stop my family from destroying most of them.”
He took a long breath.
“I assume the ones you were forced to heal last night were the survivors from that attack. I am sorry.”
“I don’t see why you are apologizing, you were only defending yourselves.”
Loki quickly turned to you.
“You do not understand. Not only should we have seen them coming, but there should also have been no survivors for you to heal.”
You could see the guilt written on his face.
“Then, what happened to you? How is it they captured you?”
You realized as soon as the words left your lips how stupid the question was. Loki's gaze immediately dropped to the floor and there was a moment of silence before he spoke again.
“It’s my fault.”
You barely heard his whisper. He seemed to be shaking. You hesitantly placed a hand on top of his, softening your voice as much as possible.
“It’s okay, it’s not your fault, none of this is.”
You saw him nod slightly and his hand close around yours.
“When they attacked, I got separated from my family. I tried to get back to them but walked into an enemy ambush. My family began to drive them back, so they took me as a human shield, stabbing me for good measure. All my family could do was watch as they retreated with me on board their ship.”
“Loki, I-“
Loki’s hand tightened its hold on yours.
“If I was smarter, stronger, I could have fought back, defeated them.” He breathed out. “I have caused you so much pain.”
His hand began to shake, and you held it tighter. How could he think this is his fault? You took a breath, trying to think of the perfect words to say.
“Even if that was true, it wouldn’t have mattered, they would have found someone else to attack. I would be in the same position..." You pause a moment, giving his hand a squeeze. "At least this way I got to meet you."
You gave him a small smile. Loki finally turned his gaze towards you.
“You are too nice.”
“That’s not true, I’m only nice to those who deserve it, my friends.”
“Friends?”
“Of course…that is…if you want to be friends.”
Loki nodded slightly gripping your hand a little harder.
“Friends.”