Learning pains
Chapter 12:
Thor stumbled through the palace gates, what was left of the Asgardian regiment that had been assigned to him in not much better shape. All of them had at least some form of injury. The more heavily wounded were supported by those with not so intensive wounds. Many of their dead had had to be left behind in the retreat.
Thor looked over the tired and still shell-shocked soldiers. Of the two hundred that had left mere hours ago, only ninety were left. The casualties may have just been over half, but it may as well have been all but a few of them.
This was meant to have been an easy mission. Odin had purposefully attacked one of Freya's strongholds, as he knew Hela would be called upon for help. With Hela distracted, Odin believed there would be no one to rally Jotunheim. There would be no one to lead the defense of one of Hela's most powerful allies. After all, Hela was the one keeping the frost-giants from killing each other.
Or at least, that was what Odin thought.
And oh, how he was terribly wrong.
What was supposed to be a simple mission, to eliminate the threat of a united Jotunheim, turned into one of the most terrible defeats Thor had ever experienced.
Not just from the numbers, but from the speech that strange frost-giant had said. There was something about that giant, but Thor could not quite put his finger on it.
Nevertheless, Thor's mind was turning with the words.
Even as he ordered each and every soldier report to the healers, the words still echoed in his head.
"... Odin and the people of Asgard are attempting to chain us once more. They have dominated us for long enough..."
Was this what the frost-giants thought of them? As people who enchained and dominated others?
Thor winced. Before, he may not have cared much about what the frost-giants thought of him. After all, he had been raised to believe the people of Asgard were the superior race. That they were the ones to guide the rest of the Nine Realms. That they were there to bring peace and stability.
But now, his opinions had been greatly changed, especially by his midgardian friends. After all, he had once thought that the people of Midgard were nothing, weak, in the face of the rest of the Nine Realms. But he now fought beside heroes, mightier even than many in Asgard. Perhaps even mightier than himself.
And then there was Loki. The brother he loved dearly.
Loki was a frost-giant, or at least partly so. Thor did not believe him a monster, as he had been told the race of the frozen realm were. And how can you call someone a monster, based purely on their race.
"... Even now, Odin sends his son, the thunderer, to frighten us into submission as he has done before! ..."
Was this what the frost-giants thought of him? Did they believe him to be nothing more than a weapon, for his father to use to frighten the Nine Realms into submission. If so, then was this how the other realms saw him?
"Thor?"
Thor was startled out of his thoughts as Sif walked up to him, her eyes fixed on him.
"Sif." He greeted.
As the shield-maiden approached, her gaze flicked to Thor's arm.
"Thor, you're bleeding."
"Huh...?"
He glanced to where Sif was staring. Indeed, there was a small trickle of blood.
"Oh, do not worry, it is a mere flesh wound." He said as he wiped it away with his finger.
"A mere flesh wound." Sif scoffed.
She examined Thor more closely.
"I am guessing the attack did not go to plan." She said.
Thor chuckled bitterly.
"You could say that." He replied.
He sighed. Sif put a hand on his arm.
"What happened?" She asked in concern.
Thor shook his head.
"It turns out, Hela is not the one keeping the frost-giants from killing each other." He said. "No, they have all united under a common cause."
"Which is?" Sif asked.
Thor clenched his fist.
"To free themselves from the oppressive chains of Asgard." He replied.
Sif scoffed.
"Oppressive?" She asked sceptically. "We are not oppressive."
"But what if we are?" Thor asked, staring straight into Sif's eyes. "You did not see them Sif. There was one of them... He... He rallied the defenders with a speech and... And now I do not know..."
Sif scoffed again.
"You are listen to the words of frost-giants?"
Thor nodded.
"Today I have seen a new perspective." He said. "All my life, I have thought the frost-giants monsters..."
"But they are." Sif said, frowning.
Thor only shook his head.
"No, I... I do not believe so now." He replied. "They... They are only another race, Sif. A race we once fought against... So of course we would have invented stories of how they were monsters."
Thor shook his head.
"But we can not call someone a monster merely because they are different."
Sif was silent, obviously at a lose for words. Thor stared directly into her eyes.
"Sif... What... What if we are the monsters?"
Sif's mouth dropped open.
"How can you think such a thing?" She asked in shock.
Thor sighed.
"We dominate over the Nine Realms, call ourselves the superior race... But really, they remained loyal to us because of my father's conquest so long ago."
He remembered the murals which Hela had revealed when she had briefly vissited Asgard.
"Look around you Sif. The golden realm." He spat. "Well, where do you think all of this gold came from? After all, Asgard is not known for mining."
He shook his head.
"No, we took it with blood and death, and kept it through fear and subjugation."
"Thor, what are you saying?" Sif asked, a note of fear in her voice.
Thor clasped her hand tightly, as if he were searching for some form of comfit.
"What if we are the one's in the wrong, and Hela, Freya, and their allies are in the right?"
Sif's eyes widened.
"Thor, what you speak is treason."
Thor sighed and shook his head.
"I know, but..." He shook his head again. "I assure you, I will not betray my father, but..."
Sif squeezed his hand reassuringly.
"Do not worry Thor." She said quietly. "No matter what you do, know that I will always hold my sword for you."
Thor smiled.
"Thank you Sif." He said in relief. "I am fortunate to have a friend like you."
For a moment, Thor could have sworn Sif's face flickered with some strange emotion. However, she quickly returned his smile.
"Yes, you can always count on me Thor. Now, let us go tend to your wounds."
Thor nodded and let Sif lead him to the healers, in a slightly better mood than he had been before.
The training-yard was full of the sounds of clashing swords as Hela and Nebula spared.
"So you are just giving him the throne?" Nebula asked as the swords clashed.
"Yes, of course." Hela replied. "It is his birthright, after all. I was merely waiting for him to be ready."
She dodged another thrust from the cybernetic woman and quickly countered.
"I'm just surprised you would be willing to give up all that power." Nebula remarked.
Hela shrugged.
"I will still be one of his advisors, and he will still be loyal to me." She said. "And in any case, I have my eye on another throne."
"You mean Asgard?"
Hela nodded as she aimed a kick at Nebula's legs. One which her opponent jumped out of the way of.
"Yes, of course." Hela replied. "It is my throne, and I look forward to finally killing that fool I am forever cursed to have as a father."
They continued to exchange blows.
"And then what?" Nebula asked.
"What do you mean, "And then what?"?" Hela demanded.
Nebula merely shrugged.
"What will you do once you are queen of Asgard?"
Hela blinked.
"Rule Asgard, obviously."
Nebula raised an eyebrow.
"Really, because you do not seem like the kind of person who would be satisfied with sitting around and listening to councillors all day. I might not have any experience with ruling a realm, but I think there's more to it than fighting battles every day."
Hela sighed.
"It is true, I do find some of the more arduous tasks quite dreary." She said. "Admittedly, I have been procrastinating when it comes to things such as all of the administrative paperwork."
Hela chuckled.
"Loki actually complained to me about how he spent most of the day he was left in charge going through the paperwork I have been neglecting, and he apparently wasn't able to get even halfway through."
Nebula eyed her.
"That is what I mean." She said. "You are a warrior, not an administrator. You can't just procrastinate something you do not want to do."
Hela shrugged.
"Why do you even want to be queen of Asgard, anyway?" Nebula asked.
Hela frowned.
"I have already told you." She replied, slightly irritated. "It is my birthright."
Much to Hela's annoyance, Nebula merely scoffed.
"Is that seriously the only reason?" She asked.
Hela raised an eyebrow.
"What other reason do I need?"
Nebula also raised an eyebrow.
"Wouldn't you rather be doing something you actually enjoy doing?" She asked.
Hela was silent. What would she want to do, if not be Queen of Asgard? For so long, her only desire had been to take out her revenge on Odin and reunite with her son... But at the same time, what would she do, once Odin was dead. Could she really spend the rest of her days, going through paperwork, sitting in long and exhausting council meetings? The war councils were tiring enough. But what about those which would concern meaningless and teedious things?
Hela shook her head.
"It does not matter what I want." She muttered.
Nebula made to reply, but they were interrupted by the cry of Vidar from the cot near the edge of the training-yard.
"Perhaps we should take a break." Hela said, dropping her weapon and quickly walking to the crying babe.
Nebula put the weapons away and left the training-yard. Hela let out a breath. The blue woman's words still echoed in her mind, even as she tended to her younger son's needs.
Loki let out a breath as he looked at himself in the mirror. He was in his full Jotun form, red eyes glowing like crimson fire. He now wore ceremonial furs, especially tailored for this event.
His mind was still turning with second thoughts and last minute fears. What if he was wrong? What if the people of Jotunheim did not accept him? What if he was not worthy...?
He was broken from his thoughts as the door to his chambers opened.
"Have you ever heard of knocking?" He asked as Skjold entered the room.
"My apologies." The jotun said.
He scanned Loki from head to toe.
"Am I to your liking?" Loki asked jokingly.
Skjold chuckled.
"You look incredible." He replied. "The picture of a true king of Jotunheim."
A small smile flickered over Loki's lips.
"Thank you." He replied.
Skjold stepped closer and put a large hand on his shoulder.
"Do not be nervous." He said softly.
Loki raised an eyebrow.
"Whoever said I was nervous?“ He asked.
Skjold chuckled.
"It is obvious when you know what to look for." He said.
He stared into Loki's eyes.
"Do not worry." He said. "They all want you. They have been eagerly awaiting this day for weeks, even months."
Loki nodded.
"Thank you, for your support." He said genuinely.
Skjold smiled.
"Your father was one of my closest friends." He said. "It is the least I could do."
He looked at Loki seriously.
"And it is more than t.“ He continued. "Over the past months, I have seen that you have the makings of a good king."
Loki nodded.
"Well then, let us not keep them waiting."
Skjold smiled and patted him on the back, almost sending Loki falling onto his face.
"That is the spirit." He said.
Loki sucked in one final breath.
"Well, it is now or never." He muttered as both he and Skjold left the room.
It seemed as if half of the realm had come to witness his coronation. Men, women and even children stood in their finest clothes, cheering loudly. It was almost overwhelming for Loki.
He briefly recalled Thor's own coronation ceremony. He could not help but wonder if this was how Thor felt, as he walked down the ile. However, instead of Odin being the one at the other end, there was a gathering of some of the court elders. Hela stood to one side of the dais, Vidar, as always, in her arms.
Five more steps, and he would be there. Four, three, two... One final breath and he was there.
The elders towered above him, and yet he still nealt before them.
"Loki Laufeyson," The chief elder began in a booming voice. "We have all gathered here to determine weather you are worthy of being the King of Jotunheim."
The crowd began to cheer. The elder raised a hand and they all fell silent once again.
"Do you swear to uphold law and justice within the realm?"
"I swear." Loki replied, calmer than he felt.
"Do you swear to stand and fight for all people, great or small?"
"I swear." He said, more confidently.
"And do you swear, to treat others fairly, equally, and justly, with no bias?"
"I swear!" He said, his voice echoing through the chamber.
"Then we, the elders of Jotunheim, proclaim you Loki Laufeyson, king of Jotunheim, and protector of the realm!"
The last thing Loki remembered was the booming applause of the crowd, before a sudden feeling of cold swept over him. Then, he heard nothing, and all he could see was a blinding white light.
After a few seconds, or maybe even a few minutes, the whiteness surrounding him cleared and Loki found himself in what appeared to be a frozen wasteland. He looked around, to find that he was alone.
Or at least, alone until he heard the voice.
"Loki."
He quickly turned around, and what he saw shocked him to the core.
No, it couldn't be. It was impossible. He was dead.
And yet, here he was, walking towards Loki, his red eyes fixed on him.
His father, Laufey.
"No.“ He breathed. "It... It can't be."
Laufey finally reached him. Much to Loki's surprise, the Jotun was smiling.
"It is me." He replied.
"How?" Loki asked. "You... You are dead... I... I..."
"Do not worry." Laufey replied calmly. "This happens whenever a new ruler of Jotunheim is coronated. Their predecessor visits them to give the force of winter to them."
"The force of winter?" Loki asked.
Laufey chuckled.
"It is a deeply held secret. Only members of the royal family know about it. It is the magic which keeps our realm alive, much as the Odinforce keeps Asgard alive. All realms have some variant of this magic."
"But I thought... The casket..."
Laufey shook his head.
"The casket is merely a way for others to access the force of winter, mostly for heirs to learn how to control it before being given full control of the magic."
At last, Loki's thoughts caught up to him.
"Oh..." He began. "I... I..."
He fell to his knees.
"I am sorry... I... I was a fool who believed in all of Odin's lies and..."
"Loki..."
"I instantly believed Odin's words... That I had been abandoned... And I did not try to get another side of the story and..."
"Loki..."
"... I should have at least confronted you about it... But no, I just killed you because I was a foolish child desperate for the approval of a man who would never give it..."
Loki was broken off as he was suddenly lifted from where he was knelling. Laufey was now holding him in his arms, as an adult would hold a child.
"Shhh." Laufey hushed gently. "Do not worry Loki, I am not angry with you. I never was."
"You... You're not?" Loki asked.
Laufey shook his head.
"I was sadden at first, yes... But I have been watching you, ever since my death."
Loki looked down.
"Not very entertaining." He muttered.
Laufey's grip tightened on him.
"You are not the villain Loki, you are the victim. A victim of Odin's manipulations and lies. Of his neglect and blatant favouritism."
"That is still no excuse." Loki muttered.
Laufey sighed.
"I know." He said. "But I still love you Loki. And I am proud of you."
Loki scoffed.
"How can you say that?"
Laufey stared straight into his eyes.
"I have seen how much you have suffered, from your own mind and from that madman Thanos."
Loki flinched. Laufey stroked his hair soothingly.
"You are stronger than Odin, or Thor, or even Hela. You may not be as great of a warrior, but you are much more. You are a surviver."
Laufey sighed.
"Did you truly love her?" Loki asked.
Laufey nodded sadly.
"Yes. She... She always held a special place in my heart, even if I knew she would never love me as much as I love her."
A small smile flickered over his face.
"She was like a blazing fire, illuminating my frozen realm. Her strength, her fierceness, her determination..."
Laufey shook her head.
"I sometimes watch her too. It saddens me, that she is still not able to overcome what Odin had made her."
Laufey's lips flickered in a smile.
"Though, it is quite amusing to see her with young Vidar. Makes me wonder what life could have been like, if we were allowed to live as a family."
Loki sucked in a breath.
"I... I still regret killing you." He said. "Especially after all I have learnt of you. Skjold has had nothing but good things to say, just like the rest of Jotunheim..."
Laufey's smile widely.
"Skjold." He said. "Even when I am dead, he still proves to be a true friend."
Loki also began to smile.
"Shall I tell him you send your regards?"
Laufey chuckled.
"Well, this is supposed to be a secret." He began. "However, seeing as Skjold is such a trusted friend..."
They were both silent for a few seconds. Then, Loki cleared his throat.
"Do you... Do you know anything of... Of Sigyn?" He asked hesitantly.
Laufey shook his head, a look of sadness upon his face.
"I am sorry Loki." He said. "I have searched, but..."
Loki let out a breath.
"Then does this mean..."
Laufey shook his head.
"Do you lose hope Loki.“ He said. "She and your child may just be hidden with some very strong enchantments."
"Is that even possible?" Loki asked. "To hide something from the dead?"
Laufey shrugged.
"Who knows what is and isn't possible."
Laufey sighed.
"We do not have much more time."
He drew Loki closer in a tight embrace.
"Remember Loki," Laufey said. "You are stronger than you know. You may be known as the God of Mischief, but you are much more. You are a true king. And you are a surviver. But most of all, you are, as you have always been and always will be, my son."
"Thank you." Loki said. "Father."
Laufey's face split into a wide smile. He drew Loki into one final embrace.
"Oh, and before we part," He began. "Your mother, Frigga, I mean, wished for me to tell you that she is always with you, just as I am."
Loki smiled sadly.
"And also remember," Laufey continued. "That we are both deeply proud of you, and we will always love you, weather you be Laufeyson, Odinson, Helason or Friggason."
Loki wrapped his own arms around Laufey's neck, before his father gently placed him down and the seen faded.
The next thing he knew, he was back in the ceremony, the crowd cheering loudly. It was as if no time at all had passed.
He got to his feet and was immediately assaulted by the crowd, coming up to welcome there new king.
After what felt like hours of hearing congratulations for his new subjects, speeches from various officials, including himself, and countless oaths of fealty, Loki could finally sneak away from the main festivities and lean against a wall in exhaustion.
"Tired, my king?"
Loki smiled tiredly as Skjold approached.
"A little." He replied.
Skjold chuckled.
"I assure you, you will get used to it."
Loki nodded.
"Thank you, for all of your support." He said.
Skjold merely smiled.
"It was the least I could do."
Loki nodded.
"Still, I am grateful." He replied.
"As is my father."
Skjold blinked.
"What?"
Loki's smile widened.
"Laufey sends his regards."