Rising From The Shadows

Chapter 4:

Loki was not quite sure where he was, or how he had ended up there in the first place. He tried to remember what he had been doing. He had been reading in the common-floor in the Avenger's tower, with the Cap... Steve, Barton and Romanov. Then Stark and Banner had come in, arguing about... Blood samples, from the woman, Thor and himself... And then Thor had come and... And...
And had told him that the woman was... Was his sister and Loki's M...
And then it was all a blur. He thinks he could feel his magic reacting to his emotions, but he couldn't quite remember.
And then he had heard a voice. So calm, so soothing. It had broken through the chaotic whirlwind of his thoughts, like the sun breaks through a storm. It had brought peace to his mind.
And then... Nothing.
He had slipped into unconsciousness, unaware of the world around him. He floated in darkness for what seemed like a long time, before light flooded him.
Loki opened his eyes, and was surprised to see that he was sitting on a stone bench in his Mother's garden.
She had always taken him to her garden to teach him magic, or to just talk over a cup of tea with him. Many of his fondest childhood memories were of this garden, and his Mother...
But what was she now? After what he had learnt from Thor about the woman... But surely it couldn't be true. Loki still could not believe it was true. He could not, he would not...
He looked around the garden to distract his mind.
There were the same trees and plants, specially imported from Vannaheim. Birds sang in the branches. A fountain in the centre trickled water. The perfect appearance of calm and serenity.
And then he turned. And what he saw broke him out of his newly found calmed state. For sitting on the bench, only a few feet away from him was...
"Mother?" He said in a small, shaky voice.
He blinked, and shook his head several times.
No, it couldn't be. It just couldn't. His Mother was dead.
And yet, here she was, golden hair cascading down her back, dressed in a fine gown, and the same gentle smile on her face.
Loki felt his heart clench. He could hardly breath. Tears stung his eyes.
"Mother, is that truly you?" He asked, almost afraid of the answer.
His Mother continued smiling at him. Loki couldn't take it.
"Mother, I... I am sorry." He said. "I was a fool. I was angry at Odin and I... I did not mean to take it out on you... You have been one of the only people who has ever loved me for me and... And I am so, so sorry and..."
His Mother put a hand on his shoulder, still smiling. Loki once again felt like a small child, sad, lonely, seeking some form of comfort.
"Mother?"
She stroked a thumb under his eyes, wiping away his tears.
"Oh, Loki." She said gently, as she would always do whenever he was a child.
Loki wanted to crawl into her lap. He wanted her to hold him in her arms and cradle him as she had done when he was a child, when he was still young enough for a Mother's comforting embrace. He longed for the days when all that was needed to fill him with joy was for his Mother to hold him to her breast and assure him that everything would be alright. Back when he was still innocent, before the cruelty of life stole the innocence of childhood away.
Unfortunately, not even this moment could last. For the scene suddenly dissolved around him. The bright day quickly became darker and leaves began to blow in a non-existent wind.
He reached out a hand, reaching for his Mother.
"Mother, please," He begged. "Don't leave me again!"
His Mother only smiled sadly.
"I assure you my son, the sun will shine on us again." She said gently before fading away.
Loki yelled out in frustration and grief. He fell from the stone bench he had been sitting on and collapsed onto his knees. He screamed his frustration to the sky.
"The sun will shine on us again."
He remembered the line. His Mother had always said it to him whenever he had been upset as a child. It was a promise, that no matter what happened, the situation would get better.
Once, the words had brought him comfort. Now, they only brought him pain. For the sun would never shine on the two of them again.
He would never see his Mother standing in the light of day, sitting in her garden, smiling at him. never again. And this hurt Loki to no end.
He felt as if he was about to break down again. And then, he was broken from his thoughts by a knew presence.
"Loki."
He looked up to see...
"You." He practically growled.
He quickly got to his feet and turned to face the woman before him. Dark hair framed a pale face with all too familiar green eyes. He looked around himself to see they now stood in what appeared to be a barren wasteland. The woman was smiling at him, but he could not help but feel angered.
For his Mother had vanished, only to be replaced by... His other mother.

Hela could hardly contain her excitement. She had waited for this moment for so long. She had desired to talk to him as soon as she had broken out of her prison, but they had unfortunately had some extra company. And Hela wished for a private conversation with her son.
Hence, she had waited for him to fall asleep. For there was no place more private than his own mind.
She was able to dream-walk using her Vannir mirror. Before, in her prison, she had only had enough power to whisper on the wind. But now, she could do so much more. She could now penetrate someone's mind, as long as they weren't to heavily guarded. And, fortunately for her, Loki's mental defenses were still healing, which made things a lot easier.
She now approached him in his mind. The young man was on his knees, screaming at the heavens. Hela couldn't blame him. Through her mirror, she had seen just how tactfully Thor had explained things to him.
Honestly, the red-haired Midgardian woman was right, Thor needed to work on his handling of delicate information and reveals. For a matter of fact, so did Odin. It seemed that Loki was the only male in their broken excuse for a family who had ever heard of the word subtlety.
Hela broke from her musings and walked towards her son.
"Loki." She said gently.
Instantly, his head snapped to face her. His expression was unreadable, but his feelings were clear through his voice.
"You." He growled, quickly getting to his feet.
It was clear, she was not welcome. She ignored the clear hostility in his tone and the strange twinge in her heart and attempted to seem less violent and intimidating.
"Hello, my S..."
"Don't." He interrupted.
Hela blinked, but remained calm.
"I understand this must be hard for you." She began. "Especially after how poorly that oath revealed the truth..."
"That is still up for debate." He sneered.
Hela sucked in a calming breath.
"It is true Loki." She said gently. "You need only look at the two of us to know that you are my..."
"What?" Loki asked, his voice dripping with anger. "Your son?"
"Yes." Hela replied.
Loki scoffed.
"As if you even care."
"But I do care." Hela interjected. "I care more deeply for you than I do for anything..."
"Oh really?" Loki asked, raising an eyebrow. "A fine way of showing it, leaving me to die cast out on a frozen rock."
Hela clenched her fists.
"I did not." She growled.
"That is not what I have heard." Loki retorted.
"Oh, and where have you heard such a tale?" Hela asked.
Loki blinked.
"Odin..."
Hela scoffed.
"Loki, you and I both know that you are fare to intelligent to believe that old fool's lies."
Loki frowned.
"Then what truly happened?" He asked.
Hela sucked in a deep breath.
"Well, it is quite a long tale." She began. "Long ago, Odin and I went on a mighty conquest of the Nine Realms. There was nothing that could stand in our way. Whole armies fell before us."
She smiled slightly at the memory. Then she continued.
"And then, one realm was too powerful. Vannaheim. And so, Odin was forced to find a diplomatic solution."
Hela rolled her eyes.
"I can see you do not like diplomacy." Loki observed.
Hela scoffed.
"I was raised as a warrior, the cries of the battlefield were my lullabies."
"You would be surprised how effective politics can be." Loki said. "That and violent, in their own way."
"Well, in any case." Hela continued, wanting to get the story finished as soon as possible. "Part of the peace agreement was that Odin marry Frigga. And it was not long until Thor was born."
She said the last few words with a voice full of contempt.
"And after he was born, Odin had no more use for me. I was soon pushed into the shadows, along with the rest of Asgard's true history. You would be familiar with this."
Loki shrugged. Hela continued.
"I desired revenge, so I began seeking allies to take down Odin. And I found one, in the young King of Jottenheim, Laufey."
She smiled at the memory of him. Even after all this time, she was still not sure of her feelings regarding her once lover.
"He assisted me in raging war against Asgard, seeking freedom from the suppressive realm that believed it was greater than all others. Everything was going well, and I was growing closer to Laufey."
Hela closed her eyes and sucked in a breath.
"I still do not know if it was love or not, but what I do know is that there were some... Unforseen consequences of our relationship."
"Oh, so is that what I am?" Loki asked rhetorically. "An unforseen consequence."
"No, no." Hela insisted quickly. "Never."
Hela sighed.
"Admittedly, I had never given much thought to having children. At first, I was not sure how to feel about you. Laufey was excited, he had always wanted a child of his own."
She sighed.
"I was unable to fight, due to my pregnancy, and the war took a turn for the worst. I had hoped that, as soon as you were born, I would be able to rejoin the fight. Unfortunately, by the time your due date arrived, Asgard had already pushed the Frost-giants back to Jottenheim. Laufey defended the capital city of Utgard, whilst I was hidden in the temple containing the Casket of Ancient Winters. In the cold temple, I birthed you, and I named you, while the battle raged on. Unfortunately, mere minutes after your birth, the temple was attacked. So I left you, hoping you would be safe, while I went to defend against whomever would dare to harm my child."
She sighed.
"It was Odin. I could have killed him then and their, but I was still weak from the birth and..."
She shook her head.
"He imprisoned me in a barren wasteland, just as you see before you now, and of course you know the rest. Odin found you and took you along with the Casket of Ancient Winters. I did try to escape once, but that only resulted in the deaths of the Valkyries."
Loki stood extremely still, his eyes wide with shock. He then regained his composer.
"A very nice story." He sneered. "So, I am basically the reason for Jottenheim losing against Asgard."
"No, of course not." Hela replied, aghast at the mere thought. "Though I had my doubts at first, I quickly came to care for you. Not a day has gone by that I hadn't thought about you, wanted to hold you in my arms..."
"Oh, so you claim to want me." Loki began. "But what of Laufey? I doubt he would have wanted a bastard runt."
Hela laughed.
"You are neither unwanted nor a bastard. Laufey declared you his legitimate heir as soon as he heard of my pregnancy. He truly did care for you."
Loki was shaking, with anger or with grief, she did not know.
"So what now?" He asked. "What do you want from me?"
Hela smiled.
"Now, we can join together."
Loki sneered.
"Would you so readily fight with the one who killed your lover?"
"That was not your fault." Hela soothed. "You were manipulated by Odin. He had you in a state where you were desperate for his approval, and willing to do anything to get it."
She cautiously stepped closer to her son.
"Loki, now is our time. We can have our revenge. Can you not see? We can make them all pay, Odin, Asgard, Thanos."
Loki flinched at the last name.
"Yes, I know of what that monster did to you." She said gently. "Join me, and we can destroy all who have wronged us."
Loki frowned, a thoughtful expression on his face.
"What of Thor?" He finally asked.
Hela sneered.
"What of him?"
"Do you mean to kill him too?"
Hela shrugged.
"If it will come to that." She replied. "Yes, I am willing to kill him, if he gets in the way of what is rightfully ours."
Loki's frowned deepened.
"No, I can not allow it." He insisted. "Despite everything, I cannot let you take his life."
Hela scoffed.
"Truly, after all he did to you?" She asked. "After all the years of him shining while you were again and again pushed into his shadow? Centuries of him and his friends mocking you, and laughing it off as a joke?"
"Shut up!" Loki yelled. "You know nothing."
"Oh, don't I?"
"No, you do not." Loki replied. "You were never there. You know..."
"Absolutely everything." Hela interrupted. "In my prison, there was a special magic mirror. From this mirror, I watched you constantly. And when you needed it most, I would send you a song on the wind."
Loki's eyes widened.
"You." He said in disbelief.
Hela smiled.
"Yes. I have always watched you. Though my attention occasionally went to possible allies for when I escaped, the majority of my attention was on you."
She looked down.
"I did watch Laufey once, just after the war. He was distraught when he did not find us. He believed that Odin had killed us both. The only reason why he did not seek vengeance for our supposed murders was because Jottenheim had suffered greatly from the war and he needed to regain his strength."
Loki scowled.
"You claim to know everything about me." He began. "Then tell me, do you know what happened to Sigyn?"
Hela blinked. Sigyn? Now, who was she exactly...?
It took Hela a few seconds to remember. Then, the memory came back.
"Yes, I remember her." She began. "Was she not a friend of yours?"
"Of sorts." Loki replied.
Hela thought for a few more seconds. Admittedly, this was a vague spot in her memory. There had been a part of Loki's adolescence when she had not been so frequent in visiting him. He had made a new friend who did not mock him for his sorcerer ways. He had seemed happier than he had in centuries, so she had believe that Loki would be fine for a decade or two, and had left to explore something that had drawn her attention. At this time, the mad Titan was beginning to grow his power. She had been investigating him, seeing if he would make a good ally.
By the time she had returned back to Loki, his friend had mysteriously disappeared and she did not think she had ever seen him so upset. Hela had just brushed this off as another person who had betrayed her son, and therefore someone else to add to her list of people to kill. But now...
"I am sorry." She said finally. "I am ashamed to admit that at the time, I was looking for allies in far off corners of the galaxy and was somewhat... Distracted."
"Oh, were you?" Loki asked, scoffing.
"Were the two of you close?" She asked gently.
Loki scoffed.
"As if you would understand." He said. "There is clearly no love in you. You did not love Laufey, you do not love me."
The words stung. Not because of the words themselves, but because they so closely mirrored the words that Odin had said to her mere hours ago.
She gritted her teeth.
"You know," She began. "Thor may not look like Odin, but you sound like him."
Loki stared at her, a sneer on his face.
"Perhaps I do." He said.
"Loki, please." She began desperately. "I may not know of what happened with this Sigyn, but we can find out together. Just please..."
"Why should I side with you?" Loki sneered.
"Because, I... I love you." Hela replied. "You are my son Loki, and I..."
"No!" Loki yelled. "Don't say it. You are not my Mother. My Mother was a good, kind and strong woman, and now she is dead. She awaits me in Valhalla. You are not my Mother, you are only a... A stranger."
Hela flinched.
"Loki." She pleaded.
"No." He replied coldly. "My Mother held me, even when I was rejected by the whole universe. She loved me regardless of my floors. She even stood by me after all I have done, all the blood I have shed."
"I tried." She said.
"You obviously did not try enough." He sneered. "Or perhaps, no matter how much you claim to love me, it was not enough to give you the strength you needed. But tell me, why did you go out and fight?"
Hela blinked.
"I had to protect you..."
Loki continued to sneered.
"You did not have to fight." He said, deceptively calm. "You could have just as easily escaped some other way. I have seen you using portals, the pathways between the realms. Why didn't you?"
"I... I..." Hela tried, but she was unable to find the words.
"You what? Were you just desperate for a fight. So desperate that you would leave your new-born on a frozen rock?"
Loki continued to sneer and Hela could hardly breath.
"My real Mother would have thought of the safety of her child, more than her want for a fight. She would have found some other way to escape. Violence is not the only way. My Mother knew this."
"Loki, I am sorry." She tried to say.
"No, you do not get to say sorry." Loki retorted.
"Loki, I..."
"Get out."
"What?" She asked.
"Get out!" Loki yelled.
Suddenly, the world around them began to shatter, and Hela was violently pushed back into her own body.
As she woke from her trance, she felt the large form a Fenris behind her. She lent back on the gigantic wolf.
Hela had not cried since she was a child. Tears had not escaped her eyes for so long. Not when she was forced to be Odin's weapon, not when she was rejected in favour of Thor. Not even when she was imprisoned.
But now... Her eyes were stinging with tears, just waiting to fall down her face.
How could things have gone so horribly wrong?
For over a thousand years, she had dreamt of the day when she would finally be reunited with her son. She longed for when she could finally hold him in her arms. She had waited so long for when she could join forces with her son to exact their revenge on all those who had wronged them.
And now...
Her chest ached. She had suffered from many injuries, far to many to count. Not all had been on the battlefield. She had felt the pain of betrayal, and of lose. She had felt it when she had been pushed aside, when she had been first separated from her son. She had even felt the pain of grief when she had watched Loki kill Laufey.
But never before, had she felt such pain. Was this what heartbreak felt like?
Oh Loki. Her Mischief son. The child she had longed to reunite with for so long...
And the minute she is able to reunite with him, he rejects her. More than that, he had proclaimed that she was not his mother. That... That...
She felt her blood boil with jealousy towards Frigga. Even when she was dead, Loki remained loyal to her. While Hela was still for the most part ambivalent about the woman, there was still the lingering resentment that her son had grown to call the other woman Mother.
It did not help matters that Loki had practically frown this fact in her face.
Hela clenched her fists.
And then there was Thor. Even after all the pain that he had suffered because of the oath's ignorance, Loki was still loyal to him.
Never before had she wanted to kill her half-brother more. But a nagging feeling in the back of her head told her that if she was to kill him, then Loki would never stop hating her.
She sighed.
He was upset, that was it. He had only just learnt of their connection, and he was clearly in distress over it.
Yes, Hela thought.
Give him some time, he will come around.
And in the meantime, she would organise her allies.
Hela grinned.
Everything will work out. She would have her son, no matter what it took.

Loki woke with a start. For a few seconds, he was unaware of where he was. Then, the world came into focus.
He was in a bed, his bed, in the room he had been given in the Avenger's tower.
He looked around to find that his room was much less organised than he had last seen it. It actually more resembled his cell, after he had heard of his Mother's death. Various objects were scattered around the room, spread on the floor. Clothes had somehow been flown out of the wardrobe and now lay strewn on the floor. And, slumped against one wall, was...
"Thor?" He said, his voice croaking.
The blond man's head jerked up. He was clearly disheveled, but was smiling in relief nonetheless.
"Loki, brother, you are awake." He said in his usual booming voice.
"Thor... What did you do to my room?" He asked, rubbing his eyes.
Thor smiled sheepishly.
"Actually, it was you who did this." He replied. "A few seconds ago, you were under much stress. Your magic was swirling around you and there was little I could do to stop it. You even blew me against the wall."
Loki shook his head.
"How long... How long have I been unconscious?"
"All night." Thor replied. "It is now morning."
"And what exactly are you doing in my room?" Loki continued.
"I have been sitting by your bedside all night, waiting for you to awaken." Thor replied. "I thought you may need some comfort, after..."
Loki looked down and clenched his fists as the memories of his dream flooded his mind. Was it all real? Loki did not wish to believe it, but a part of him told him that it was.
"It's true." He said weakly.
"What?"
"She is... Hela is..."
Loki began to shake. Thor climbed into the bed next to him. It was a tight fit, considering Thor's large size, but they managed.
"Brother, what happened?" Thor asked, his voice full of concern.
"She came to me." Loki said in little more than a whisper. "In my dream. She came to me... And we talked, and..."
Thor put a hand on his shoulder.
"What did she have to say?"
Loki sneered.
"She was attempting to make an ally out of me."
"And," Thor pressed. "What did you say?"
Loki clenched his fist.
"I refused, of course."
"Really?"
"Of course." Loki snapped.
He sucked in a breath and looked down.
"She was claiming to love me, but I did not believe her."
He looked up into Thor's eyes.
"She has a Vannir mirror, one she claims to have watched me for my entire life. She claims to know everything about me, and yet... And yet she knew nothing of... Of Sigyn."
Thor wrapped him in a strong yet not too tight embrace. For once, Loki did not fight him.
"She claims she was distracted during this time." He said, tears beginning to prickle his eyes. "Possibly the worst time of my life and she... She was to distracted to even check on me... And she so claims to love me."
"Shhh." Thor hushed. "Do not worry brother, it will be..."
The strength of Loki's sobs increased, and he clenched Thor's shirt in his fists. His mind had just jumped to something else he had learnt. Something that now left him distraught.
"He loved me." He said in barely a whisper.
"What?"
"He loved me." Loki repeated. "Laufey, he... He loved me. Hela said... Said that he believed Odin had killed us both and that... That the only reason he did not seek vengeance against Odin was because of how much Jottenheim had suffered during the war."
Thor began to stroke his back.
"And do you believe her?"
"Yes." Loki replied. "Something inside of me... Tells me it is true."
Suddenly, memories flashed before his eyes. Of when he had seen Laufey. When he had bargained with him... Arranged with him to get Frost-giants into Asgard while Odin was in the Odinsleep and Thor was banished. He had been so distraught over what he had learnt of his true origins, that he had hardly noticed anything else. But now...
He remembered the look in Laufey's eyes as they spoke. Recognition, joy... Hope.
Despite Loki's reputation for trickery, Laufey had trusted him. Loki thought that he had trusted him far to easily. He had assumed that Laufey was a fool, but now... Now he thought that maybe... Maybe Laufey trusted him so easily, because...
"He knew." Loki breathed. "He knew Thor, he knew that I was his..."
Loki began to sob more forcefully. He remembered how Laufey had looked during his final moments. The look of triumph as he stood above Odin's body.
"Your death came at the hand, of Laufey."
Only for the look to vanish when Loki had stabbed him in the back.
"And your death came with the son of Odin."
He remembered his face. First there was shock, then betrayal. Then sorrow. And as Loki looked into his eyes as the King of Jottenheim died, he saw a look of unending grief.
Loki had thought nothing of it, but now...
"He trusted me." He said quietly. "When I tricked him into believing I was allying with him... He believed me and trusted me. He knew who I was, who I truly was, and he trusted me. And then I... I stabbed him in the back."
"Shhh," Thor soothed. "It is alright brother."
"No it is not!" Loki yelled. "You don't understand Thor, he trusted me, he wanted me, he loved me!"
Loki began to shake.
"He was my Father, and he wanted me, and I killed him for the Father who has always rejected me."
He then chuckled darkly.
"Hela claims to want me, but I know the truth. She only wants to use me, just as Odin did. She is not my Mother, Frigga was. She was always there for me, she always wanted me, and she is now dead too."
He laughed, though there was no humour in it.
"Either directly or indirectly, I am responsible for the deaths of the parents who wanted me, and now I am left with the parents who only want me for my power."
Thor's grip on him tightened.
"I am forever doomed to be unwanted."
"You are not unwanted." Thor argued.
Loki scoffed.
"Name one person who actually gives a dam about me."
"I do." Thor replied. "No matter what happens between us, you will always have me brother."
Loki looked up at him.
"She is going to come after you too." He said. "She said that... That she would kill you if you got in the way of what was rightfully hers."
Thor's grip tightened.
"I will not let her." He said strongly.
"Nor will I." Loki replied.
"Thank you, brother." Thor said gratefully.
The two sat in silence. The atmosphere seemed to have calmed down somewhat. Then, Thor sighed.
"Father wishes that I bring you back to Asgard." Thor began. "He fears you may ally with Hela."
Loki frowned.
"So what will you do?" He asked.
Thor's eyes gleamed with determination.
"I will not take you back there." He said firmly. "I will not have you put back in that cell."
"Thank you." Loki sighed.
Thor gripped his upper arm tightly.
"Never fear brother, I will always be here for you."
Loki smiled.
"As will I for you."
Thor smiled.
"As Father said, a wise king, never seeks out war. But he must always be ready for it. I am ready for it, ready for her."
"As am I." Loki replied.
Thor smiled.
"Together, you and I, the sons of Odin."
Loki shook his head.
"No, not the sons of Odin." He said. "You may still think of Odin as a Father, but I do not."
Thor frowned.
"Then will you be known as Laufeyson?"
Loki thought for a few seconds. Though he now knew that Laufey had not left him to die as an infant, and had in fact cared deeply for him, he still did not feel comfortable with being called Laufeyson.
"No." Loki replied. "Just... Not yet..."
Thor frowned in thought, then, he grinned.
"What about Friggason?"
Loki blinked.
"What?"
"You still think of our Mother as well, your Mother, correct?"
Loki nodded.
"Well then," Thor continued. "Why not go by Friggason?"
Loki frowned. It was uncommon, but not unheard of to use a Mother's name instead of a Father's. And Loki was quite unconventional to begin with.
"I believe she would be happy with it." Thor urged.
After a few moments, Loki nodded.
"Very well, I suppose I am Loki Friggason for the time being."
Thor smiled.
"Then it is the sons of Frigga, standing together."
Loki smiled. Even after all that had happened between them, he knew he could always count on his brother.
But then, there was a nagging feeling in the back of his mind. A part of him, that had heard Hela's words, her promises of revenge. And Loki could not help but want to answer the call. He could not help but imagine what would happen if he would accept the woman's offer of vengeance against all who had wronged him.