Lost
Tony ran a hand over his face and tried not to groan out loud. Again. The boy stuck to his hand was already tense enough, and there was no reason to make him feel worse. He should have listened to Rhodey, he thought, and bought all his Christmas gifts online like a normal person. Or made them. But after all he'd gone through to fix the arc reactor and how freaked out Peter had been...how lucky he'd been that Peter hadn't been at the Malibu house when it had been attacked...well, he'd been trying to make up for all of it.
He'd maybe put Peter off on Pepper and Rhodey too often. Tony knew it had been a whirlwind for the boy, first being abandoned by his mother and dropped off outside his unknown father's house across the country, then to have that father tell him that he had to stay with other people while he...well, he hadn't given the boy much of an explanation, only that he had a lot of work to do.
Peter hadn't seemed angry with him. In fact, the boy had always been happy to see him when he'd managed to spend time with him over the last few weeks, but Tony felt bad. He knew that Peter didn't trust anyone as much as he trusted his father, and that Peter didn't even fully trust him. He wouldn't show anyone else his powers, and according to Pepper, he barely spoke to her when he stayed with her. Rhodey said the same thing, as did Natasha, who had been his babysitter once or twice. He hired a real nanny for Peter when he had to, and according to her, he didn't speak to her at all.
But that was all over now. Tony had figured out how to save his own life thanks to his father's research, and he'd brought Peter to New York, the two of them moving into the penthouse of his tower with the promise of frequent trips back to Malibu and the beach that Peter had started to love. Back in New York, Tony put Peter back in his old school...he'd only gone to first grade there but the boy had already made friends with another little boy named Ned.
So, Tony thought as he gripped Peter's hand, things seemed to be going okay. Peter liked his school, and second grade seemed to be going well. Pepper had been coming by more and more, practically moving into the tower, which Peter was cautiously happy about. He'd even started calling Tony 'Dad.' And now that he got a few days off school for winter break, Tony had decided to take him Christmas shopping, a decision he was regretting more and more every moment.
A woman chatting on the phone came too close, knocking into Peter, and the boy pressed himself to Tony as the woman moved on without seeming to notice. Tony turned his body a little, wrapping an arm around Peter and holding him close, glaring at the retreating woman. They were in a department store in the mall where he'd hoped to find Pepper something nice, and he'd thought bringing Peter along would be a fun outing for the two of them.
He'd been wrong.
Peter tugged on his hand a little, and he looked down to find the boy reaching up for him. He knew that Peter was probably too old to be carried around, but he couldn't help his smile as he reached down and swung the boy into his arms, then let him sit on his shoulders. "Better?" He asked, patting Peter's knee, and the boy hugged his head.
"Yeah. Why's it so busy?"
"It's almost Christmas." Tony thought about asking Peter what he'd gotten for Christmas in years past, but then he remembered how the boy had come to him...with nothing more than a backpack with a few spare outfits and an extra pair of shoes. Any Christmas presents he'd ever gotten would have been left behind. With his mother. Who the boy refused to speak about, even with Tony.
Instead, he chose a different conversation topic. "So, what do you want Santa to bring you for Christmas?"
The boy snorted. "Santa isn't real, dad." He told Tony, heels kicking against his father's arms. "Mom said...I mean, everyone knows he's just a story."
"Everyone, huh?" Tony squeezed his ankle and smiled when the boy giggled. "You haven't been telling other kids at school that, right?"
"No." Peter sounded offended, foot squirming until Tony let go. "That wouldn't be nice."
"It wouldn't." Tony agreed. He moved over to a display of sweaters, moving them one by one until he found one in Pepper's size. "What do you think?"
"I like blue better." Pet told him, leaning forward and resting his chin on Tony's head, and Tony chuckled.
"Maybe not a sweater." He put the sweater back and headed over to the jewelry section. "So, what do you want me to bring you for Christmas?" He wondered. To his surprise, the boy on his shoulders was silent, and he had to pause when a group of teenage girls came rushing by. "How about...some new underwear?" He asked, and the boy on his shoulders giggled. "Or...socks." He squeezed Peter's toes and the boy laughed again.
He was getting a couple of strange looks, or maybe people were just realizing that Tony Stark was shopping with a child on his shoulders. Either way, he focused on Peter instead as he carefully navigated all the people packed together like sardines. Rhodey had warned him not to go shopping this close to Christmas.
"But it'll be fun for Peter." He'd said. Like an idiot.
"So what would you like for Christmas?" It was kind of a pointless question. He'd already gotten the kid plenty of stuff. Still, if there was something else Peter wanted, he'd totally find a way to get it, even if it meant braving the shops again...or more likely, sending Happy to brave them.
"I...I don't need anything." The boy's voice was barely a murmur, and Tony had to strain to hear him as they moved into the jewelry department.
He furrowed his eyebrow, looking up at the boy but unable to see Peter's face from that angle. So, once he managed to get to a somewhat empty area of the store, he reached up, gripping Peter under his arms, and eased the newly seven-year-old onto the ground. Peter refused to meet his eyes, staring at the ground until Tony reached out, hooking a finger under the boy's chin. "Pete?" He asked, tapping Peter's cheek. "What's up, buddy?"
"I don't need anything for Christmas."
"Okay. It's not about needing something. It's about wanting something. Like when I got you presents for your birthday. Remember? The LEGOs and the Iron Man shirt you wanted?"
Peter nodded, still not looking at him in the eye, and Tony got an idea.
"Hey, how about we take a break from shopping and get a snack, huh? There's a place that sells cookies."
The boy's eyes lit up a little, and Tony smiled. "Really?" He asked. "Before dinner?"
"That's right. Just don't tell Pepper." He reached out, and Peter placed his little hand in Tony's, making it stick firmly. "Come on." And, once he got him a cookie, he'd find out what was going on in his little boy's head.
They reached the packed food court, and Tony noticed the boy's eyes drooping, his head resting against Tony's side. They had been shopping for almost two hours. It was no wonder the kid was tired. So Tony pointed to one of the only empty tables. "How about you sit for a while, buddy? I'll be right back, okay? What kind of cookie do you want?"
"Chocolate chip?"
"Sure thing." Tony ruffled his hair, then headed over to the little food stand, ordering four chocolate chip cookies. When he glanced back at the table, he found that he was unable to see it...too many people were packed around them. So, grabbing the bag of cookies, Tony turned and hurried back to the table, only for his heart to drop, the bag of cookies falling from his hand.
The table was empty.
"Peter?" He asked, his voice failing him and he began to turn in circles, looking for the little boy. Surely he was at a different table. Tony must be panicking for nothing. There was no way he'd just lost his kid. "Pete?"
No one at the surrounding tables even looked up until he frantically started approaching them. "Woah...are you…". One of the teenagers at the table next to his started to ask, but he waved the question away.
"There was a little boy at this table. Seven years old. About this tall." He held up a hand. "Did you see him?"
The teenager shook his head, but one of the only two girls, both of whom had bright pink hair, nodded. "Yeah. A guy came over...I thought it was his dad or something. The little boy went with him." She pointed a finger toward the exit. "They went that way."
Tony felt his heart stop but it didn't matter.
He was running before he was really aware of it, gasping for air that wouldn't come. "Peter!" He cried, practically shoving people aside to get to the door. "Peter! Pete!" It wasn't long before people were staring, but he didn't care. "Someone took my kid!"
That got people's attention, and several people stopped what they were doing, moving quickly out of his way and looking around.
"He's seven." Tony told the crowd, stopping only for long enough to explain. "Small, brown hair, brown eyes."
He looked around frantically as he took off once more. There were too many people. Too much noise.
Tony grabbed his sunglasses out of his pocket. JARVIS wasn't quite as good pocket-sized but it would have to do. "Jar, find Peter. Now." He ordered, breathless. From the second day Tony had had Peter, he'd make the boy JARVIS's number one priority, and his AI was equipped to hack into literally anything to find him.
In the lenses on his glasses, he watched as the AI began to search, looking around the room and past all the concerned people. Peter wouldn't have just walked off with someone unless there was a good reason to, and Tony couldn't think of a single good reason to. He was just about to pull out his phone and call Natasha and Rhodey when JARVIS spoke in his ear.
"Sir, I found him."
Tony paused, hand frozen halfway to the door, when security footage appeared in a box in his sunglasses. A woman coming into the mall stumbled to a stop, then pulled the door open and walked around him. In the box, grainy security footage showered a man kneeling beside Peter, and the boy looked up at him, face obscured by the man. Then Peter stood up and the man gripped his shoulder and the two headed straight for the door, Peter's grainy form looking back at the direction where Tony knew he had been buying cookies.
The video footage switched and then they were walking out the door, and Tony threw the door open, slipping past a group of older teenagers who barely gave him a second glance. There were cameras in the parking lot but if that man made Peter get into a car…
"Sir, I think you should take a look at this."
Tony stopped his frantic search of the parking lot to focus on the footage. On the screen, Peter was following the man to a car, and Tony was about to try and get the license plate when his jaw dropped.
Peter grabbed the man's arm, and he must have squeezed hard because the man's knees buckled, and Peter pulled back a little fist, slamming it into the man's head which he could barely reach. Then the man went down, and Peter raced out of frame. His kid was strong...how had Tony forgotten that? Strong and so smart and Tony had to find him. JARVIS showed a map of the building, using a little dot to represent Peter, and Tony raced toward it, but came to a screeching halt when the map led him to the outside of the building. There was no door...no windows…
"Jar, did Peter go back inside?"
"No, sir. I believe you might want to look up."
Tony did, shivering a little in the cold and squinting his eyes against the dark. "Peter!" He hissed, not wanting to risk using his phone as a flashlight when people might see the kid. "Pete! It's me, buddy. It's Dad. Are you up there?"
There was a soft sniff, and he closed his eyes, heart clenching. Why had he left the boy alone? Even for a second?
"Come on, Pete. Come down. Please. It's just me."
There was shuffling overhead, and lowly a figure came crawling down. Tony waited until Peter was within reach to hold his arms out, and the shaking boy practically jumped into them, sniffing quietly as he buried his face in Tony's shoulder. He held the boy tight, rocking him back and forth and breathing him in, nose pressed to Peter's hair.
"It's okay. I've got you, buddy. I'm right here." Soon his shoulder was wet, and Tony realized it was maybe the second time he'd actually seen Peter cry. That only made it hurt worse. This was Tony's fault. "I'm so sorry, Peter. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have left you. I'm so sorry."
Without expecting an answer from the boy, he hurried back to the car, tapping a message to Happy on his phone with one hand and carrying Peter with the other. Peter clung to his neck, hands sticking to his shirt, and Tony knew he wouldn't fall. Still, he was kind of heavy, and Tony pulled the passenger side door open and sat down, placing Peter on his lap and shutting the door.
"I...I hit him...I'm sorry…". Peter sobbed, but Tony shook his head.
"No, baby...you don't have to be sorry. You did such a good job. You can always fight back if someone wants to hurt you."
"But...I'm not supposed to let...to let anyone...know…"
"It's okay. I'm not mad, buddy. You did good. Hey…". He put a hand on the side of Peter's face and pulled away just a little to look him in the eye. The light in the car was dim, but it was enough to make out his little boy's tear stained face. "Look at me, Pete. I'm not upset. I won't let anyone find out who you are...I'll protect you. From now on, we'll have Happy come with us, okay?"
The boy gave a hesitant nod.
"Can you tell me what he said? Why you went with him?"
Peter sniffed again, lowering his eyes. "I know I wasn't supposed to."
"It's okay, Pete. You aren't in trouble."
"He said...he said he knew that I was your son and that if I didn't go with him...he'd...he'd kill you."
Tony clenched his jaw, doing his best to keep himself from scowling lest Peter think he was angry with him.
"But then, when we were outside I knew he was going to take me away and I didn't want to…"
"You did so good, buddy. I'm so glad you got away." He whispered, pulling Peter close and pressing his lips to his hair. "Happy is on his way. He's going to make sure that man doesn't ever come near you again, okay?"
The boy gave a hesitant nod, and Tony ruffled his hair.
"Why don't we go home? We can bake our own cookies, okay?"
"You can bake cookies?" Peter asked, and Tony had to laugh despite the adrenaline still rushing through his veins.
"Yeah, I think we can figure it out. What do you say? Want to learn together?"
Peter gave a hesitant smile, bringing up a fist to wipe his eyes. Tony sat with him there, waiting for Happy to arrive. JARVIS had the man's identity, and the would-be kidnapper was still out cold, but he wanted to keep an eye out, just to make sure. Peter stayed in his lap, head resting on his shoulder, and Tony kept his arms around him, one hand rubbing his back.
"Dad?" He whispered after a while, and Tony's hand stopped making circles on the boy's back for a moment.
"Yeah, buddy?"
"Did...did you want me?"
The question took Tony aback, and he blinked down at Peter for a moment before pulling away just enough to try and get a look at the boy's face. Peter wouldn't look at him, though, and Tony thought maybe he'd be more willing to talk if he didn't force him. "Peter...of course I want you. I've wanted you from the moment I knew who you were. If I had known before...if your mom had told me about you, I would have asked to know you sooner." He thought that was true. Hoped that was true. Even in his crazy party days, surely he would have wanted to know his son. "Why would you ask that?"
"There was...this...this boy at school and...and he said that...that you only bothered with me because my mom didn't want me and…". He sniffed a little against Tony's chest but didn't cry. Tony pulled him closer in a hug, jaw clenching in anger for the second time that night, but he forced himself to stay quiet and listen. "And...I...I miss my mom but I don't want to leave you and…"
"Oh, Pete." He murmured, kissing his hair once more. "I don't know who that kid is, but he's wrong. Listen to me, okay?" He touched Peter's cheek and the boy met his eyes with his own red-rimmed ones. How long had Peter been worrying about this? Who was this little asshole that had said that to his kid? "I love you. You're my son and I love you so much. I don't ever want you to leave. If your mom does come back, then we'll work something out, okay? I promise. You don't have to worry about me not wanting you. Not ever."
"Promise?"
Sometimes, Tony almost forgot how young his son was, just like he forgot how strong he was. But then Peter would look at him with his big, frightened eyes, saying something like that, and it would hit Tony all over. He took Peter's hand, letting the boy stick to him, and nodded. "I promise."