I Need Love
They sat across the breakfast bar from each other. Well, kinda. Wade was sitting, having basically claimed one of the stools for his own, and Piotr was standing, leaning over the counter, hands on either side of a bowl of soup. Italian wedding, if Wade wasn’t mistaken.
“What if one of your X-Men buddies walks in,” Wade asks from his perch, “kinda scandalous if you ask me…” Colossus rolled his eyes as he pulled himself up, one of his hands reaching for the spoon next to the bowl.
“Nothing scandalous about this,” Piotr replies, saying nothing more as he got a good spoonful of the soup. Little meatballs and green leaves. Wade was right. Italian Wedding. He would've preferred chicken and dumpling but Italian Wedding was fine. Blowing on it gently he held it out for Wade, the act within itself almost making Wade cry out in laughter. Or emotion. This was too domestic, in a weird way.
He obliged though, taking the spoon into his mouth, eyes closed, a moan escaping his throat that would make any man who wasn’t Wade Wilson flush red. The first few spoonfuls were like this, Wade making loud sexual noises and strange faces. It stopped when he realized Colossus was giving no reaction, his attention purely on getting as much food in Wade's belly as he could in case the merc changed his mind and decides to take the bowl with the intent on pouring it on some poor student's head. This made Wade antsy, the attention creating a knot in his stomach, the situation making his hands sweats and fingers twitch, tension that was then soothed with each mouthful of soup. The situation was a strange combination of a kitten being bottle fed and a lion being thrown meat.
Homemade, Wade thinks, as he watches Piotr scoop up the last of it. Probably made by the man himself. A wave of disappointment hit him when he finished it off, watching Piotr turn to put it in the sink and spray it down with sad eyes. Why couldn’t the bowl have been bigger? Why couldn’t he have eaten slower? It was over way too soon and Wade could feel that knot in his stomach tightening again.
And as if Piotr could sense this he made a beeline to the fridge, not even sparing Wade a second of a glance. He turned back, hands behind himself as he looked around a bit, before setting what looked like a single serve pizza with just mozzarella onto the counter.
“Vatrushka,” he says simply, “Sometimes when I get homesick I make some, I promise it tastes good. Is like cheesecake.” A slice was cut for the both of them and Wade didn’t wait for Piotr to even reach for his own fork before digging in with his own, not wanting to wait to see if he’d also be hand fed dessert. It would’ve been nice, yeah, but if there was one type of food that Wade didn’t find eating difficult, it was sweet food. And although the writer has never had vatrushka himself, you can’t go wrong with cheesecake so it probably tastes good enough to scarf down like a ravenous animal. Or a ravenous Deadpool.
So consumed with the treat in front of him, Wade didn’t notice the look Piotr was giving him. Soft, amused, a look Wade would’ve loved to poke fun of. So emotionally raw and open, so Piotr. The other plate was pushed to Wade's side of the counter as it was being cleaned off. Wade looked up to Colossus, who wasted no time explaining the gesture. “I’m not hungry, I only took some out of courtesy. Please, eat.”
When night came it was almost no different from the first. Colossus gave Wade a warning look when he let the oversized sweats drop from his hips, and was met with defensive hands and a quick scurry under the covers. There were still wandering hands and quiet snarky remarks, but other than that Wade behaved well, just like yesterday.
It wasn’t surprising when Piotr woke to a leg thrown over his stomach and Wade half hanging off the bed. It was a bit surprising when Wade came up to Colossus with a plate of cut up blueberry pancakes and a fork the next morning once the others had left the kitchen, though.
“I’m not going to feed you every day,” Piotr says with raised eyebrows, holding out a piece of pancake, which Wade ate post haste. He was sat on 'his stool' again, Piotr back to his spot from across the counter.
“Yah, m’ know,” Wade said before swallowing, Piotr doubting he had even chewed the first piece before opening his mouth for another. “It’s jus’... nice? Y’know? I’ll eat dinner by myself, promise,” he said through the second bite, successful in getting Piotr to focus on feeding him. It was already noon, so he was pretty complacent with each bite due to hunger.
Dinner. He’s going to eat dinner. And Piotr didn’t have to convince him at all.
“Why don’t you like to eat, Wade.” Colossus asked cautiously, letting his curiosity get the better of him. Wade looked up, eyeing him just as cautiously. The gears in his head seemed to be chugging harder than the usually are (not that hard) as he decided just exactly what to say, as if there were two other voices in his head with wildly different opinions (wink wink). “Listen,” he said, eyes staring hard into Piotrs, still cautious but with a touch of anger, of fear, “I get… that you're coming from a good place, but I think both you and I know the answer and I'm not exactly jumping the gun to talk about that. Not… yet, anyway. So drop it, and don't pick it up in a million years, okay?" There was only a second of them staring at each other before Wade realized what he had said, a little too emotional for his liking. Eyes shooting down, his hands going to the hem of the shirt he’s wearing. Another one of Colossus’. He didn’t ask this morning but Piotr didn’t say anything. It was comfortable. It was suffocating. He glanced to the window, kids running past in trainee shirts and seasoned X-Men watching other them.
“Training is starting. You better get out there,” Wade mumbles before turning on his heel and making his way to the stairs. Piotr looked out the window himself, just for a second, but when he turned back Wade had already made his way to the second floor.
-
None of his shirts had frayed hems, Wade found out. It was just as unsurprising as it was disappointing. He made his way to the large bed, glaring at it before crawling in. Stupid comfy bed that smelled like stupid fucking Colossus who smelled stupidly amazing and always left his bed really stupidly warm.
Wade didn’t feel particularly bad about his little ‘freak out’ that happened in the kitchen a few hours ago, though he did regret it a bit, like getting really mad at your dad for something small but then he makes his bang ass chili for dinner that he knows you really like so he regret getting so mad at him. Colossus probably made bang ass chili. The kind that wasn’t White Person Chili, that wasn’t exactly spicy but had some flavor, some bop to it that made it slap really hard.
As good as the chili was though. Wade doubted he’d eat it. He wasn’t lying when he said he wasn’t ‘good at eating’. Even the last two meals were pushing it and he doubted he could eat another without risking vomiting all over the X-Mansion. Vanessa was good about it, though, when she was still around. She understood it, told him she used to have problems with eating too, and helped him start the first steps to recovery that she herself had done. Breakfast drink in the morning, a good sized lunch at noon, and as much as he could stomach during dinner time. And he was doing well, really well, until she- then he couldn’t uphold the schedule anymore. Nothing for breakfast, a soda and some chips for lunch, maybe a thing of Reese’s Pieces, then alcohol and either half a Walmart made pound cake or some shit filled fast food.
The idea of anyone helping him like she did, anyone trying to replicate what she could do for him, it made him… mad. So upset and angry he could cry.
“That’s what you do, Ness,” he said softly, face smooshed in one of the pillows, “That’s what you did. He can’t. He can’t just-”
Let him, she would say, let him take care of you, stop being so stubborn. I couldn’t have picked a better person to take care of your sorry ass after I’m gone. She’d be smiling, but with a serious look in her eyes. He wouldn’t be able to say no, he never could. He knew she was right.
“Fine,” he grumbled, stuffing his face harder into the pillow, “I’ll try, I’ll be nice and let him play house and take care of me like a shitty baby, but- I’m scared, Ness… I’m scared he won’t… understand… not like… you did.” He cut himself off with a yawn before letting himself fall asleep. “Thanks Ness,” he whispered before letting himself be consumed by darkness
-
Piotr found Wade curled up in his bed, snoring softly and drooling a bit on the pillow that was in the vice grip that was his arms. There were shirts strowned on the floor in front of his closet along with the sweatpants Wade had picked out for the day.
Before making his way into bed as well he put all the shirts back into his closet and placed the sweats into the clothes bin. For some reason he felt a pang of sadness that Wade was so close to the edge of the bed, that there was no need to lift him and scoot him over, that he wasn’t star fishing or seeking out Colossus’ body heat with every part of his body he deemed too cold. It too Piotr longer than usual to fall asleep, his eyes finally closing as he watched the sleeping form that was too far away.