Chapter 9
Eventually, the balance of their little kingdom would shift. They would have to reckon with the outside world again; they would make choices, they would make mistakes, that led them inexorably back into battles not yet won.
But first there were days of peace, strung like pearls on the slender strand of their survival.
*
The garden was growing, to Thor’s delight. The process was all very scientific, he was assured as he toured the space, though out of the corner of his eye he could see a few children dumping a huge amount of soil into an empty bed and plunging their hands in it up to their elbows. In the space of a moment they were all covered in grime, and visibly delighted to be so.
“Aeration,” Eydis said solemnly, following his gaze, then mirroring his smile. “I’m not sure how much it helps the soil, but I’m quite sure it helps the children.”
“That’s more important,” he agreed, as he followed her down the next long row. “Tomatoes? They’re growing well.”
“Oh, yes, we’re very pleased with their progress. You’ll pass along our thanks to Prince Loki and Valkyrie, I hope.”
“Why - “ He began, and then stopped.
Eydis looked startled. “Oh - “
“It’s all right.”
“I’m sorry if I spoke out of turn. I assumed - “ She was blushing. “It wasn’t a secret, I didn’t think.”
Just from me, Thor thought, and then caught himself. Assigning personal motives to his brother’s actions was a habit he was trying hard to break. “Please, don’t worry. I’m always the last to know the good gossip.” He cracked his most charming grin. “It’s a terrible failing on my part.”
“I’m sure you’re too busy with your duties to worry about gossip,” she said, relaxing.
“A king should always know what’s going on with their people,” he said hopefully.
Eydis laughed, and dropped her voice into a conspiratorial whisper. “Well, in that case - “
*
"It's almost impossible," Loki demurred at first, when Valkyrie said she wanted to learn to defend herself against the memory spell. "Aren't we all defenseless against memory?"
She let the matter lie, for a time. It wasn’t as though she wasn’t learning - Loki said it took years to truly master even the basic spells they’d been practicing. She had no problem believing that, for the difference between what she could do and he was capable of was the difference between the children tumbling through their daily exercises with Cul and the full might of a Valkyrie at war.
So perhaps the memory spell gnawed at her precisely because it was yet so far beyond her reach. But the more she learned to read Loki's magic - the more she learned to wield it - the more enchanting the idea of resisting it became. Could you call yourself a master of any weapon, until you had learned to counter it?
*
Thor watched Loki and Valkyrie narrowly over breakfast the morning after his conversation with Eydis. They seemed no different than he had previously observed - relaxed, friendly, if prone to bickering with varying degrees of heat according to how much they actually cared about the topic at hand. Had he been blind to a blooming relationship? Or was he blind, now, to try reading something profound into a simple matter? He sighed and refocused on the conversation.
At the moment they, along with Heimdall and Bruce, were debating the best next step on their journey. Loki was all in favor of sneaking along as they had been, darting quickly in and out of deep space ports to replenish their fuel and stores, and avoiding recognition at all costs.
Valkyrie and Heimdall argued for a new approach. “We could make a short jump,” Heimdall said to Thor, “and come within a few days’ travel of Vanaheim. There we might find support and resources to speed our journey toward Earth.”
“And if Vanaheim is feeling inhospitable,” Loki argued, “we will have wasted most of our remaining fuel and whatever advantage we had in anonymity.”
“Weren’t you complaining about not having any allies nearby?” Valkyrie asked him. “It makes sense to take advantage of whatever friends we still have.”
“Yes,” Loki admitted, “but that was months ago. We’ve no idea what has changed since then politically. The destruction of Asgard will have had an effect.”
“We’re still here,” Thor said mildly.
“Which will come as unwelcome news to some. Particularly those with ambitions toward a new hierarchy of the Nine Realms.”
Thor made a dismissive sound. “I don’t care about hierarchy.”
“How nice for you,” Loki snapped, his temper starting to fray. “The rest of us must deal in reality, and resurrected kings are not always received warmly by their rivals.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Thor said, sarcastically, “I’m not as familiar with resurrection as you are.”
Loki’s eyes widened, and to Thor’s surprise he saw a flash of genuine hurt there. That, he had not intended. Perhaps Loki was not ready to be teased for his staged deaths, though Thor had come to regard his brother’s theatrics with nothing but a sort of affectionate irritation.
Heimdall cleared his throat. “Loki is right,” he said, giving Thor a quelling look, “that we cannot be sure of our welcome. I see no great upheaval among the Nine, but undoubtedly there are subtleties that elude my gaze.”
“How likely are we to get reliable news at one of these space stations?” Bruce asked. “Next time we stop for fuel, could we get a better read on the political situation?”
“Maybe,” Loki said. “I think that’s probably our best course of action. If the news is old, or unreliable - “ He looked back at Thor. “Then I’ll go ahead to Vanaheim and assess things, before we commit.”
Thor smiled at him. “Agreed. Thank you, brother.” Then, winningly, to take the accidental sting out of his earlier words, “You know how much I rely on your insight.”
Loki rolled his eyes at Thor’s unsubtle flattery, as everyone else stood and gathered their things. Heimdall and Bruce headed for the bridge. Valkyrie’s presence had been requested at the children’s history lesson, a circumstance which Thor believed held equal potential for glory or disaster. “Good luck,” he said cheerily, and Valkyrie tossed a rude salute at him as she left.
Settling back, he said to Loki, “Besides, you can’t tell me you wouldn’t enjoy a few days on Vanaheim. Fresh air. Fresh food. Fresh faces.”
“Indeed I may stay there,” Loki said tartly, “should the company prove more enjoyable.”
Thor smiled indulgently. “I’m sure Freyr would be delighted to see you.” Then, boldly, “Though, perhaps Valkyrie would be sorry to see you go?”Again, Loki’s eyes went dark, his expression shuttered against some imagined insult. Thor sighed - apparently this was not his morning. “Loki - “
“Let’s not talk about it.” Loki stood and took a step toward the door. “I know you think it’s stupid.“
“I don’t think it’s stupid,” Thor said, aghast. “I think it’s wonderful. You both deserve - “
“Wait,” Loki said, turning back toward him. “What are you talking about?”
Thor blinked at him. “You and Valkyrie. What are you talking about?”
“The magic,” Loki said stiffly. “That’s - the working that I made with Freyr, and Valkyrie - “
Thor cast his mind back to the conversation with Eydis, when she had first made her request. But I thought those were just for fun. “Loki, I was only teasing. I don’t doubt - “
He clipped his mouth shut against Loki’s renewed glare, for he knew well that Loki was not reacting to an imagined hurt, but a remembered one. Another memory surfaced, one from which Thor had turned away when they last spoke of the rites: the morning after Loki's initiation.
Loki, emerging at dawn from the gauzy curtains as the last of the revelers drifted away, had laughed in delight to see her work: the profusion of wildflowers, at the far white shimmer of Idunn's orchards in full blossom, at the fields newly gilded with wheat. Freyr - Thor couldn’t remember. He must have been there, just behind her, dazed and happy; or perhaps he’d still been sleeping in the pavilion, wrung into ecstatic exhaustion.
Thor had only had eyes for Loki, who had laughed even harder, turning to see the jagged marks where Thor's displeasure had been scorched overnight into the rocky hills. "Thor, is this jealousy?" She had looked at him with dancing eyes, her smile wide and happy, only a little good-natured teasing in her tone. "Wish you'd been initiated, too?"
"Of course not," he'd sneered, knowing that his own tone came across not just as scornful, but angry, as though she had embarrassed him. Later, in the agonizing intervals when Loki had been lost to him, that moment would haunt him. The hesitation, the light dimming in her eyes, her smile turning just slightly sour. How could she have known what he meant, when he had choked the words down like coals: No, I don't wish I had been initiated. I wish -
"I wish I had knelt," Thor said abruptly. Loki’s eyes widened. “That night, I should have knelt when Freyr did. I should have made everyone kneel."
Color bloomed in Loki’s cheeks. "You don't have to say that."
Thor swallowed. Well, hadn't he promised to speak freely? Loki would just have to suffer his awkward truth-telling. "I was horribly jealous, of course, “ he continued. "Not that it's an excuse - "
"Jealous?" Loki demanded. "Of what?"
"Of you," Thor said, surprised. Loki's honest expression of bafflement sent a new wave of guilt surging through Thor - he'd always thought his own faults so blindingly obvious to Loki, his motives so clearly legible. It was terrible to realize that Loki hadn't seen right through him. "If only you could have seen yourself, Loki. You were blazing like the sun. And all I could be was miserable that I was so easily outshone."
Loki sank back down into his chair, still looking questioningly at Thor. "I thought you were embarrassed."
"Only by myself," Thor said ruefully. "Only because I found myself so dull and ugly in comparison to you, and then so rude and slow in comparison to Freyr. As soon as he knelt, I knew I should have done so first. I wished I had. I just couldn't bear to be second.” Thor shook his head. “I’m ashamed to think of it now. The magic you worked with Freyr flowed through that night like wine. Everyone else drank from it, and was happy. Only I stood apart nursing my wounded pride.”
Loki tilted his head, considering, and Thor hoped the old memory was shining in a new light. “I regret having tarnished something so beautiful,” he continued, and laid his hand over his brother’s. “Your magic is a blessing to Asgard, Loki. I won't fail again to honor it as I should."
"I thank you for saying so," Loki said after a moment, matching Thor's slight turn toward formality. Then, smiling, “And it does help the garden.”
Thor laughed. “I don’t doubt it. The tomatoes are coming along beautifully.” He hesitated. “And beyond that? Are you and Val - “
“We’re enjoying ourselves,” Loki said mildly. “One might go so far as to say we’re indulging ourselves. Beyond that - I really couldn’t say.”
“I’ve no quarrel with indulgence,” Thor said, suddenly worried that Loki would think he disapproved of anyone taking pleasure for its own sake. “I only wish for your - both of your - happiness.”
Happiness, Loki mouthed silently, as if wondering at a foreign concept, but then only said, with a quick sly smile, “I’ll be sure to tell her, for you know how we both hunger for your approval.“
Thor rolled his eyes, releasing Loki’s hand. “All right, all right,”
Loki snickered, heading toward the door. “We never do anything, dear brother, unless we’re sure you’ll approve of it.”
“Go on,” Thor laughed, waving him away, “go make yourself useful. I’m sure there’s some mischief that needs doing.”
*
History class had gone wonderfully, in Valkyrie’s opinion. She hadn’t remembered lessons being so marvelously destructive, but if that was how education was to be conducted in Thor’s New Asgard, she was all for it.
“At least three of the children showed a real aptitude for combat,” she said, in Bruce’s voice, wearing Bruce's face, as the real Bruce peered at her with great interest.
He and Loki sat across from her at one of the long tables in the otherwise empty dining hall. The tables did look nicer than they had before the raiders attacked, and given the scarcity of materials onboard Valkyrie knew Loki had somehow helped, though he denied it straight-faced.
Having failed, for the moment, to convince Loki to try the memory spell, she was working on glamours instead. So far she could copy any person that she could see, which was less than inspiring, though Bruce seemed as happy to take notes on her failures as on her successes.
She continued, “We should consider a training program.”
“Of course I’m entirely in favor of child soldiers,” Loki deadpanned, and Bruce’s alarmed gaze jerked to him. Valkyrie smothered a smile, as Loki gave her a dissatisfied look. “Shall we work on emulating people who aren’t literally in the room? That does limit the utility of a glamour.”
Valkyrie screwed up her face. “It’s hard when I don’t know what they feel like.”
Bruce cocked his head. “Physically feel like? Do you have to touch them?”
“No,” she said, “what they feel like.” It was hardly illuminating, she knew, but there was a reason she wasn’t leading magic lessons. “The feeling is like - it’s like a mold of the person, that you pour the magic into. If it’s not clear enough, the energy just - “ She blew a raspberry, and Bruce dutifully made another note.
“Try Thor,” he suggested. “It seems like it would help, if you knew the person well.”
Loki nodded at Valkyrie. “You could try.”
She closed her eyes, trying to conjure Thor. She could see him well enough in her mind’s eye, but that wasn’t enough. She pondered the feeling of Thor, but the problem with feelings is that they were slippery. Was she supposed to focus on how she felt about him? On the general feeling toward him? On what it would feel like to be him? She could feel energy stirring lazily around her, could feel the shadow of her glamour wavering uncertainly, but she couldn’t make it stick.
“You’re trying to do too much,” Loki said. “The sense of the person doesn’t have to be complete. It has to be specific.”
She frowned, keeping her eyes closed. “Specific how? Specific moment? Specific look? What do I - “
“Look at me, brother,” Loki said sharply, and Valkyrie’s eyes flew open as the glamour snapped crisply into shape. She could feel it forming a perfect second skin; even her vision went dark on one side, so that the small natural shifts in her gaze wouldn’t give her away. Already she could feel some substantial quality to the illusion, some persuasive aura of truth, that she had not previously been able to achieve.
“What the hell,” Valkyrie said, in Thor’s voice.
Bruce gawked at her. “That’s - wow. That’s really good.”
Valkyrie lifted her hands, tilting them back and forth. They looked like Thor’s hands. She ran one of them over her head, feeling shorn hair, and the edge of an eye patch. It felt like Thor’s head. “Did you do this?”
“No,” Loki said, looking steadily at her. “You did. Think it through.”
“I was trying to bring up feelings, or memories, thoughts, anything to give me a good clear picture. But it was too much. It was all swirling together.” Loki nodded for her to go on. “When you said brother, I knew - I felt - exactly who you would say that to.”
“That’s good. Remember that glamours, in their most fundamental sense, aren’t for you. They are for the observer,” Loki said. “Think of them as mirrors, reflecting precisely what others expect to see. You’ll more easily find clarity in those expectations than in your own feelings.”
“That explains a lot,” Bruce muttered, and leaned deftly away from Loki’s elbow. “What if you don’t know exactly what the other person expects to see?”
Loki shrugged. “You learn, over time, to pull perceptions from other minds. But honestly it’s a shallow trick. You won’t fool anyone who really knows you, or really knows the person you’re copying, for long.”
“Shallow, my ass,” Valkyrie said. “It’s a great trick. I’m gonna use it all the time.” She pointed majestically at Bruce and intoned, “It is I, King Thor. I anoint you Minister of Science.”
“I kind of think I already was," Bruce said, scratching his head. “Can I be a knight?”
“Absolutely.” She stood and leaned over the table, tapping each shoulder with the side of her hand. “You are now Sir Bruce of Midgard, Minister of Science, Lord of Taking All Those Stupid Notes.” She leaned toward Loki and repeated the motion. “Prince Loki, Minister of Magic, Lord of - “
“Lady, I think,” Loki corrected.
Valkyrie nodded solemnly. “Lady of Being A Fucking Thief, Who Takes All The Good Booze And Hides It In Pocket Dimensions. Which you are going to teach me how to do.”
“Thank you, your majesty,” Loki said, “and no, I’m not, because then all the good booze would be hidden in your pocket dimensions.”
“You’re fired,” Valkyrie said.
“I think only I can fire lords and ladies,” Thor said, from the doorway, where he stood with a deeply amused expression on his face. Valkyrie yelped and felt the glamour shatter. “Was that really what my hair looks like?”
“Yes,” Loki said. “She perfectly captured your current state of disrepair. I’m very proud of her.”
“So am I,” Thor said, smiling warmly but speaking in all apparent seriousness, as he came to sit alongside her. “Your value to Asgard only grows, Valkyrie, and my gratitude along with it.”
She absolutely did not feel a glowing surge of satisfaction at Thor’s words. But Loki gave her a knowing look, and when Thor said, “And I thank you as well, brother, for sharing both your talent and your wisdom,” she happily gave it right back to him.