Looter
“Nobody is going to get hurt.” Sigrid pulled their students behind them, glaring at the men who dared disturb their class. It was bad enough they were having a bad joint day, and were using their cane, but they had just been in the middle of teaching a student soil composition.
“I thought looters came like, at night and were just an annoyance.” A student whispered, fear creeping into her voice.
Sigrid had been worried about this with this particular site. Multiple whole pots and jewelry had been found, which lent itself to a great payday to the right person. They had noticed the small group of people loitering at the edge of the work area, licking through back dirt and attempting to subtly pocket collection bags. One of their students had asked for ID or school affiliation when it had all gone sideways.
“You really are very bad at this.” They said.
“Hey I, you, I’m dangerous.” He hadn’t been expecting them to see him.
“No, you just thought there were enough people around that you could snag artifacts while nobody was looking. Don’t you know for them to be worth money, they need authentication? Nothing you took today is on any of our forms aside from a number. We haven’t done analysis yet.” Sigrid moved forward slowly, looking at their nails.
“Professor,”
“Besides. It is a bold assumption that I would let you hurt any of my students over trinkets.”
“I have a gun, lady.”
“And I teach at a Public University in the United States.” They poked him in the chest with the tip of their cane.
The hammer clicked, the students closed their eyes, and no shot came.
“And I am not a Lady. Haven’t been since the 1400s.” they twirled their cane around their hand, hitting the man again for good measure.
“Can one of you please call the police while I deal with this?”
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The footage circulated at least once a year throughout the department. Sometimes more. It was why Dick had decided he wanted to work under them. And now, he was sharing it again, as was the tradition.
“is that the video some students took a few years ago?” Sigrid appeared behind Dicks desk, leaning on the same cane from the video.
“Ah, uh, yep. Is uh that the same cane?”
“Oh, this? Yes, I have had it since the 1880’s. It has a nice weight to it. Certainly, did its job there.”
The crack from the cane hitting the man’s skull in the video echoed through the lab. Sigrid had a proud look in their eye. Dick made a mental note not to cross them. He didn’t want to anyway, but seeing the lack of remorse was unsettling, to say the least. He turned back to his computer, moving the YouTube link into a folder.
“So Doc,” He turned back to where they had been standing. “and I'm alone. Cool, cool, cool, cool. Got it. What the fuck.”
He sent the video to the group chat.
Red 1: did they say they haven’t been a lady since the 1400s
Pink 1: surely it was a joke
Nah, they just fukin poofed in and out of the lab
Red 1: They do that. You get used to it. Wait until they appear behind you in class
James Linguistics: how are they still employed?!?