Chapter 6
"He was there?!?! At the coffee shop?!"
You sighed and let out a shaky breath. You still couldn't believe he was in the same city as you were. "Yes. I don't know if that's coincidence, Hart. I can't help but think…"
Your cousin begins to vigorously shake her head at you as if to disagree with something you haven't said out loud yet.
"Don't do that to yourself, Y/N. I know you like him a lot, but now is not the time to entertain real life feelings for someone like him.”
You let out an emotionless chuckle and nod. "Yeah, you're probably right. I'm sorry."
"Hey now," Hart reaches out for your hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. "Don't apologize. As your cousin, I just want to keep things real. I know anything's possible, I just don't want you pining over someone who might not even remember your face."
The following morning, you feel comfortable enough within the community where Hart’s place was that you decided to go for a morning jog.
“Oh yeah, I’m sure,” you tell her confidently. “I saw a trail somewhere where a few people go to, the one close to that bed and breakfast down on 4th? I wanna try it. I have been itching for a run since last week.”
“Oh well,” Hart sighs but hands you a water bottle. “Take care, alright? Call me for anything, alright?”
You nod and you start a slow jog as you step out of the house. As soon as your bluetooth earbuds are comfortably plugged in your ear, you increase your speed to get to the trail before most people. The morning sun was just starting to peek out from the horizon and you smiled as the colors around seemed to blend into calming shades of brown, green and tangerine. You could get used to this, you thought to yourself as the bed and breakfast came into view and then the trail beside it. You sprinted out towards the last few meters and soon enough, you were thrust into a rich foliage and surrounded by trees. The morning breeze blew past and you inhaled the rich fragrance of the greens around you and traces of the pancakes that must be cooking from the B&B.
You were able to circle the trail within half an hour, stopping just as the sun was halfway across the sky. Everything was painted in various shades of orange and you just had to stop and sit on the grass to be able to fully appreciate this brand new morning you have been blessed with.
Your thoughts eventually led you back to your SDCC experience last week. Sebastian literally sweeping you off your feet, you could sometimes still hear his voice as he whispered in your ear and it made you shudder. You didn’t want to wash the clothes you wore that day as you didn’t want his scent on you to be gone. You closed your eyes as you laid down on the smooth and soft grass and let out a soft, sad sigh that your moment with him had flashed by so quickly just like a snap of the finger.
As dangerous as it may be, you were beginning to regret not to have gone to the meet and greet to see him. A sea of ‘what ifs’ began swirling inside your head, despite all the bells of warning you yourself set going off.
You got up and shook your thoughts away, reminding yourself that your reality exists in a world far different than his. A celebrity taking interest in a fan? You already know that was never gonna happen. Sure, that Edith girl from GQ having an insane night with Chris Evans years ago seemed too good to be true and it was, there wasn’t any follow through from Chris and it was followed by him dating a string of actresses instead.
Who the fuck were you fooling for even crossing that realm of impossibility anyway?
You were fishing for your coin purse in one of your pockets when you collided on someone’s sturdy chest, sending you falling to your haunches on the ground. You were thankful that you were still in the grassy part of the trail, the earth absorbing most of the impact of your fall. You tried pushing yourself up when a hand comes up in your line of sight. You unhesitatingly take it, keeping your eyes trained on the ground as you let yourself be helped up. It takes you a few more seconds as you straighten up before looking at the person you bumped into.
Blue grey eyes, sharpest jawline with a fine dusting of day old stubble, and a smile that was brighter and clearer than the sun illuminating his face in the background, a soft yet audible gasp of surprise passes out of your mouth.
“Hi again,” Sebastian Stan says to you in that warm like early morning voice of his while keeping a firm grip on your hand.
“Hello,” you respond, and you surprise yourself at how steady your voice sounded. Inside though, your chest is pounding like ten drumlines and your brain slowly turning to mush. Your eyes lock onto him and you can see the smallest hint of nerves there as well.
“A-are you okay? And, um, I didn’t get your name,” Sebastian blurts out softly. “May I ask for it?”
His politeness surprises you and you couldn’t help but be enamored more by this man. You gently wiggle your hands from his, step back and extend it to him as you introduced yourself properly.
“Yes, you may,” you say with a smile. “I’m Y/N. It’s so nice to see you again, Sebastian.”
Sebastian takes your proffered hand and shakes it firmly twice before letting go. “You have no idea how amazing it is to see you again, Y/N.”
You both walk back to exit the trail up until the entrance to the B&B, making small talk as you did so. He had told you that he was in this part of Chicago for an audition and you told him you flew here to stay with your cousin for the duration of your vacation.
He suddenly stops just as you both were approaching the main entrance.
“I’m sorry,” he says abruptly as he turns to his side to face you. You look at him with a curious smile as he works up the courage to ask you something. “I did not expect to be bothered as I had been when you didn’t show up to the meet and greet last week. Why didn’t you?”
Your chest clenched a little at how confused he sounded. Seeing as you only had a few days left before you flew back home, you opted with the truth.
“Sebastian, I--” you began, huffing out a long, drawn out breath before you continued. “I didn’t think you meant it. If I’m being honest, I didn’t know why you asked me that when you probably wouldn't even remember my name after. And you actually didn’t.”
His face fell and you could see the disappointment in his eyes. You couldn’t think how to ease this out for him so you followed your instincts instead and touched his arm, giving it a light squeeze.
“Hey, it’s alright. It’s not like it meant anything anyway, right?”
The disappointment that held his expression changed into something a little bit more intense but it flitted so quickly, you didn’t have time to decipher what it was.
“Y-You’re right. I uh...I do say stupid shit sometimes and that was one of them, I’m sorry,” he mumbles before looking away then back at you. “Hey, do you wanna grab breakfast?”
You give him a shy grin and nod. “I’m starving.”
The somber mood your morning started with took a much lighter tone when you both sat at a secluded part of the B&B to eat. More stories were exchanged and you found yourself getting more comfortable with the man seated in front of you. Sure, a part of you still held your guard up that this might possibly just another facet of his carefully crafted public persona to ensure that only good things would be said about him if in the event you find yourself asked about him.
He was finishing an anecdote about one of his One Minute Men videos when he stopped and looked at you curiously.
“You don’t believe me, do you?” he asks with a chuckle. “I mean, I wouldn’t believe me too, but yes, Joe and Will were that stupid to jump in the lake, in suits when the water was near freezing.” You don't say anything for about a full minute and he notices this as he gives you a half confused, half expectant look.
“I’m sorry, this all seems so surreal,” you gesture at the both of you. “I just-I guess-I guess--fuck, I don’t even know what to think, you know?”
Understanding dawns on his face after a few moments of silence. He hesitatingly reaches for your hand across the table, just stopping when the tips of his fingers were mere millimetres from yours. They curl back but you stretch your fingers and push your hand forward. He understands this and finally takes hold of your hand in his. Warmth passes through you at the feel of his big, calloused palm and fingers enveloping yours.
“Trust me?” he asks hopefully and you alternate between looking at your joined hands and his face before you nodded. He slaps a hundred dollar bill on the table before tugging you up and taking a more discreet path towards his room.
When he opens the door, you are met with the unexpected sight of a medium sized room. On one side where the bed was, you could see a small suitcase half closed, clothes spilling out on the edges. A chair sat by the dresser and a jacket was haphazardly thrown at the back of it. A few cosmetic products lined the dresser and a few pieces of balled up cotton surrounded it.
Sebastian pulls you inside, letting you go in first before closing the door behind him. You go further inside the room and on the other side you see the en suite left open, a towel hanging by the door knob. You look back to the bed and finally notice it wasn’t made at all. Like he just got up, got dressed and walked out the door.
You turn your back to look at him and he regards you with an insecure expression in his face. In all the years you’ve been following him, you have never seen him so unsure of himself like he is now.
“Seb-what-what is this? Why am I here?” you blurt out, now thoroughly perplexed. He comes up to you, gently grabs you by your shoulders and turns you around to see the mess that is his hotel room.
“This is--this is me, Y/N. I’m messy, probably like half of the men in this world are. I don’t have a clue why I need more than just soap and water to keep my face clean but I try and follow what the dermatologist tells me. I know how to pack my clothes but I’m terrible at unpacking them. I’d eat pizza five times in a week, but Don would probably kill me and then get me back on the Winter Soldier program.”
You giggle at the last part, having tried the Winter Soldier program yourself for about a month and giving up when you realized it was becoming too unrealistic for you to follow.
“Yeah, that program’s a bitch,” you say amusingly under your breath. He then comes up in front of you and looks at you hopefully.
"Even I myself can't really explain what--what these thoughts are going in my head. The last time I showed interest in someone…well, that didn't--it didn't go so well and I just decided to stop even trying to date. But I saw you at the con and I just--something clicked and…"
By the time he stopped talking, your breaths have been going a mile a minute and if you didn't do anything you might just drop to the floor.
He sees this and grabs your hand to let you sit on the edge of the bed beside him. The warmth came back to you, helping you relax even just a little as your brain tries to process what is going on.
"Sorry," you breathe out. "I don't-I haven't been in this situation before. I don't know what to say." You feel the bed move beside you and when you look at him, he's sitting up, facing you.
"Y/N, this may be too forward but…can I-can I kiss you?"
You could feel both a hot and cold sensation wash over you as soon as he asked. You tried searching his eyes for any hint that he was just messing with you but there was none. It even seemed the shade of his peepers darkened a little as his own shoulders heaved with nerves while he waited for you to respond.
"Yes."
Sebastian's eyes widen and he gasps an 'oh my god' before eliminating the gap between the two of you to press his lips over yours. Your eyes immediately close as you try to push your lips onto his. You don't have much experience in this area so you let him lead you. You gasp when he parts his lips slightly but you follow suit, grabbing his arm while his hand gently cupped your neck as the kiss progressed. You tilt your upper body so that you were parallel with him. You whimper a little when he slips his tongue inside your mouth, forcing you to completely open up to him. He tasted like maple syrup and coffee, with a little hint of mint and as his mouth and tongue moved in time with yours, you realized you may never get enough of him kissing you.
When he pulled away, you both were panting messes. You didn't even realize he had laid you down on the bed until you opened your eyes and saw him looking at you in awe.