all you’ll ever be is (mean)

Marvel Cinematic Universe
G
all you’ll ever be is (mean)
author
Summary
It’s not always easy when a new little is brought into the family — but it’s even harder when she’s got a mean streak the size of Kansas City.
Note
Welcome to the first in a series of one shots that were probably written at 5am! They’ll all intertwine somehow, with the same main characters and what not, but they’ll all be separate and understandable when read alone. Non-sexual age play and bullying and huge parts of this one shot. If you don’t like, don’t read. Without further ado, enjoy!!

Chewing on the inside of her cheek and leaning heavily into her daddy's side, Princess smiles shyly at her Uncle Bucky's new girlfriend and received a soft squeeze from her daddy in reward for her politeness. 

 

It was a Thursday morning and even though Thursday mornings were usually spent in the training room, today was a special occasion.

 

Uncle Bucky had decided that it was finally time for his best friend and honorary niece to meet his new girlfriend. She was called Ciara, and her hair was a beautiful colour that shined like gold in the sun. She had a shrill voice and was much shorter than Uncle Bucky, maybe even by two heads worth. She was wearing black leggings and a comfy looking jumper that looked like something Princess had started knitting just a few weeks ago. 

 

She looked very soft, Princess decided. 

 

Ciara was a little too, unsurprising since Uncle Bucky was a daddy, but she was quick to make it clear that she enjoyed "playing much less frequently than most other littles." 

 

Princess had been absently playing with her daddy's fingers when Ciara said that, and her cheeks lit up bright red at the indirect call-out. 

 

"I can't tell you how long I've been waiting to meet you." Her daddy laughs, reaching the hand that wasn't occupied by Princess up to scratch at his chin. "Buck ain't shut up about you for weeks." 

 

Ciara giggles and Bucky rolls his eyes. "Alright, punk. Pipe down. I don't need your yackin' embarrassing me in front of my girl." 

 

"No, no! It's okay." Ciara leans into Bucky's side as he wraps his flesh arm around her waist, glancing up at him in amusement. "I think my friends are sick of hearing about you too, babe, to be honest." 

 

Steve smiles at the couple before glancing down at his little girl and kissing her forehead softly. "You gonna say hi, angel?" 

 

Looking up and staring into her daddy's soft blue eyes, Princess takes a short breath before shaking her head, no. And it's not because she wants to be mean or that she doesn't like Ciara, but it's because her throat is closed today and the thought of talking makes her heart beat too fast. 

 

She worries her bottom lip and she looks away from her daddy and toward Ciara and Uncle Bucky, wishing that she could just push through her stupid fear and speak up like a normal girl. 

 

But then her daddy wraps his arms around her and manoeuvres her onto his lap, and she buries her face in his neck and takes a shuddering breath. "Oh, you're okay, beautiful. I've got ya. You don't need ‘ta talk." 

 

Deep down, she knows that her daddy is right (he‘s always right), but that doesn't make it any easier. She'd forgotten how hard it was to meet new people, especially during quiet days. 

 

After two years of living with Steve in the tower, everyone who frequented knew her well enough to know that on quiet days, they wouldn't be hearing a peep out of the little girl. But even though Princess seldom spoke, her expressions and light movements were more than enough to relay her inputs and emotions. 

 

But it was okay, because when her daddy was away on a mission, most of her quiet days were spent in the lab with Tony anyways. 

 

Clint had tried to teach her sign language a few months ago, but within ten minutes they'd ended up forgetting about the lesson and started building the Avengers Tower out of Lego bricks instead. Daddy and Uncle Phil found them two hours later and from that day forward, the Lego Avengers Tower took pride of place beside the grand fireplace in the common room. 

 

Breathing slowly and matching her daddy's pattern, just like she'd learned, Princess turns her head to the left so that she remains curled into her daddy but was also facing Uncle Bucky and Ciara. 

 

Uncle Bucky gives her a sweet smile, one full of reassurance. He knows how hard it is for her and how much her own inability frustrates her, but he's never tried to force her to talk and always seems to know what she's thinking; like a mind-reader but less invasive. 

 

And Ciara isn't quite smiling, but she doesn't have a mean face either. It was an in-between expression and Princess doesn't know how to feel about it. 

 

"Seems like today's a quiet day." Her daddy says, but he's smiling and there's not a single hint of annoyance or frustration in his voice. Just pure adoration and it makes Princess' belly fill with butterflies. 

 

Her Uncle Bucky nods in understanding and tilts his head as he grins at her. "That's okay, sweetheart. Maybe next time, huh?" 

 

Nodding once, Princess sits up a little bit straighter but remains on her daddy's lap as the conversation picks up once again. 

 

Whilst her Uncle Bucky and daddy talk, she works up the courage to smile over at Ciara again, and feels a little bit of relief when the girl smiles back. 

 

 

 ——————

 

 

The first time her and Ciara are left alone together isn't for any more than a few minutes and isn't on purpose, either. Since they'd only just come home from a mission, her daddy and Uncle Bucky were in a meeting when Ciara had arrived at the tower. 

 

Princess was waiting for her daddy in the common room, watching Peppa Pig on the huge tv and playing counting games on the mini tablet that Tony had given her as a gift for 'being the cutest little runt ever.' Her daddy had slapped the man over the head, but Princess had been so happy with the gift that she almost cried. 

 

It wasn't a quiet 'no voice' day, so when Princess looks up from her tablet and sees her Uncle's girlfriend, she feels a lot less anxious than the last time they'd seen each other. 

 

Her voice is small and soft from lack of use, but it's there all the same. "Hi." 

 

"Ah, so it does speak." Raising her eyebrows, Ciara glances around the room and whistles lowly. "Damn, this place is nice. Stark has good taste." 

 

Princess watches as the girl takes a stroll around the room, admiring the decor. She can't help but correct her assumption that Tony had anything to do with the low-key decor. "Not Tony, Pepper." 

 

"What?" Ciara turns away from the window to give her an odd look. "Pepper? Like Pepper Potts?" 

 

Princess nods and waves an arm around the room, hoping to convert her point without having to conjure up too many words. "Pepper." 

 

"Huh," Ciara nods, taking another look around the room before moving over to collapse heavily into the empty space on the couch next to Princess, who startles slightly and turns to look at her with widened eyes. "Why are you stuck out here? Shouldn't you be in the meeting with them?" 

 

Princess frowns and shakes her head, reluctantly turning off her tablet and resting it on the couch. "No." 

 

"Oh." Ciara's face contorts into an expression Princess can't pinpoint. "Didn't your daddy miss you? It's weird that he doesn't want you with him." 

 

Princess understands her confusion and doesn't take the words to heart. Ciara doesn't know that post-mission meetings are very often filled with gruesome detail and mission reports that'd give her nightmares for an entire month. 

 

"It's okay." Princess shrugs, playing with the hem of the sleeve of her cotton t-shirt. "Daddy won't take long." 

 

Humming, Ciara turns around to look at the wall mounted mega TV. Princess shuffles back into her corner of the couch and picks up her tablet again, but keeps her eyes on the TV as a new episode of Peppa begins. 

 

"So, do you really like this stuff?" Ciara twists her hand toward the tv and all of the toys laid out on the coffee table that Princess had been playing with earlier. "The toys and the pacifiers and the stupid kids shows? Do you get off on it or something?"

 

She can't help but wince at that. The questions make her uncomfortable but since they're coming from a fellow little who's probably just confused because she likes to play differently, Princess tries her best ignore the mean tone of voice. Her tummy still tightens of its own accord. "S'nice." She shrugs, staring down at her lap. 

 

She's almost afraid of what Ciara might have to say next, but she doesn't have to worry, because before she can talk again her daddy and Uncle Bucky walk into the room and their conversation is forgotten. 

 

While Ciara and Bucky retreat toward the elevator after a small hug, Princess' daddy sweeps her up into his arms and peppers her entire face with hundreds of kisses until she's laughing and squirming away. 

 

Eventually settling onto her daddy's lap and cuddling into his chest, Princess breathes evenly and basks in her daddy's warmth. "Missed you." 

 

Her daddy takes a deep breath before resting his head on top of hers and kissing her hair. "I missed you more, angel." 

 

 

——————

 

 

The second time they're left alone together is less of a coincidence. 

 

Princess and her daddy were at Uncle Bucky's apartment for dinner, dressed-up fancy and drinking from the expensive glasses. (Princess was wearing her cherry print cotton summer dress and drank out of her very best sippy cup.) Ciara was there too, sitting beside Uncle Bucky and being much more cuddly than she ever had been in the few months since they first met. Bucky beams when he informs Steve that she's in little space, and Princess doesn't think she's ever seen her Uncle look so happy. 

 

After dinner the two couples move into the living area and sprawl out on the couches, making small talk and trying to decide on a movie to watch. 

 

It doesn't take long for Princess to get fidgety and wiggle out of her daddy's arms and off of the couch. She knows her Uncle Bucky's apartment like the back of her hand, and so when she wanders away from the living room, nobody has any qualms. 

 

After grabbing a colouring book and pencils from her stash behind the laundry basket, Princess returns to the living area only to frown when she realises her daddy and Uncle have since disappeared. 

 

"They got called away by Jarvis." Ciara explains before Princess even has the chance to ask. "Uncle Steve told me to tell you that he didn't have time so say goodbye to you." 

 

Blinking and looking down at the floor, Princess tries to swallow the horrible feeling of abandonment welling in the pit of her stomach. It doesn't sound like something her daddy would say, not at all, but Ciara looks at her with a smile and Princess can't find any reason why the girl would lie. Especially not if she's in little space. 

 

"'Kay." Princess nods once, blinking quickly until her eyes begin to click from dryness. She doesn't want to cry, not in front of the girl she might one day become real friends with. "Wanna colour?" She offers meekly, throat still thick with emotion and tummy turning painfully. 

 

Ciara scrunches up her nose and snorts, not looking away from her phone. "Yeah, no thanks. I've got better things to do with my time." 

 

It's really hard not to cry that time. But she hides her silent tears behind her book and makes sure her shoulders don't shake as she calms herself down and wipes her eyes. 

 

Ciara doesn't want to be her friend, but it's okay, because daddy and Uncle Bucky come back only ten minutes later and her daddy wraps her up in his arms and holds her close to him all night long. He helps her pick out colours and even promises to put the lion on the fridge, right next to all her other animals. 

 

Princess doesn't say anything, but when her daddy comes into the bedroom a few days later and wakes her up just to give her kisses and cuddles before saying goodbye and leaving for a two day mission, it's a relief. 

 

 

——————

 

 

"Do you think they're hurt?" Is the first thing Ciara says to her as she waltzes into the common room wearing the biggest high heels Princess has ever laid eyes on. "I have a horrible feeling, you know? I mean, I was always told that I was psychic." 

 

Unsure how to respond, immediately on edge at the mere notion of her daddy being hurt, Princess shrugs silently before turning her gaze back to her tablet. 

 

Huffing, Ciara rolls her eyes and sits down on the couch. "You could at least pretend to care, you know? I worry about Bucky all the time." 

 

Princess swallows but doesn't look up from her messages back and forth to Tony as the tablet lets her know that he's typing. "I do care." 

 

Ciara scoffs. "You sure about that, dolly? 'Cus you don't fucking act like it." 

 

"Swear jar." Princess chimes before she can even think twice, the reaction practically a reflex after so long. A new message from Tony pops up on the screen and it catches her attention just in time to miss the seething glare sent in her direction. 

 

"Is this what you normally do when they're gone? Just sit around and be useless?" 

 

Princess blinks and, this time, she does look up from her tablet. "Why're you being mean?" 

 

Ciara practically blanches. "What are you talking about? I'm not being mean!" 

 

"Useless." Princess parrots. 

 

"Oh, stop whining. How can telling the truth be mean?" Ciara quips, and Princess is too tired and worried about her daddy and busy messaging Tony about his drawing of a giraffe back to argue. So she just nods and sinks back into the couch instead. Taking that as a cue, Ciara continues. "But seriously though, I had a dream last night where Captain America got thrown off of this huge cliff and it was so weird and vivid. I think I might genuinely be a psychic." 

 

Inhaling sharply at the image of her daddy falling from a cliff invading her brain before she can stop it, Princess clenched her teeth and tries to stop her eyes from filling with tears. 

 

But then, as if she's completely blind to the fact that Princess is literally falling apart at the seams, Ciara continues. "And then it flashed down to the bottom, and I saw Bucky's costume on the ground but there was just a skeleton! Like, what the fuck? Isn't that just so weird? But then, it just got weirder, and I think I might have taken too much Benadryl, because then Iron Man starts falling out of the sky!" 

 

And she goes on, and on. So caught up in her rambling about the gruesome imaginary deaths of the people Princess loves most that she either doesn't realise or just doesn't care how upset the little girl is getting. 

 

It only takes five minutes and the sixth mention of her daddy for Princess' dam to break and once it's gone, it's gone. She goes from shedding a few silent tears to sobbing heavily into her knees, breathing unsteady and wails pained as the images of her daddy being hurt attack her brain again and again and again. 

 

She curls up into a tiny ball as she cries and she knows that it's probably the loudest Ciara has ever heard her being. 

 

All she can think about was the fact that her daddy might be dead at the bottom of a big cliff and she'd have no idea, because she's sitting around being useless and watching stupid shows and — 

 

Without preamble, Princess is lifted from the couch and held in a very familiar pair of arms; thin but unbelievably strong. Her Auntie Tasha’s perfume is an instant relief to her senses but her cries only get louder as the woman sits on the couch and begins to rock her from side to side. 

 

She can't stop thinking about her daddy.

 

Tasha hums a soft tune beneath her breath as Princess snuggles into her chest, chest aching at the deepness of her sobs. "Oh, milaya devushka, what's wrong, hm? Are you hurt?" 

 

Ciara is sitting still, shock evident on her face as she watches the deadly Black Widow snuggle up to the sobbing girl.  

 

Princess inhales wetly around her tears. "Daddy's hurt. Daddy's hurt. Daddy." She cries, pushing her face into her Auntie's shoulder. "Want daddy, Tasha. Want daddy." 

 

Her auntie sighs in sympathy and places a gentle kiss on her lightly sweaty forehead. She runs her hand through her knitted curls and continues to rock them from side to side. "Jarvis, get Tony up here, would you? Why didn't you call him sooner?" 

 

"Terribly sorry, miss." Jarvis responds swiftly, as if he was afraid of being scolded by the Widow. "He shall be with you and young miss shortly." 

 

Tutting, her auntie wraps her arms around her and continues to rock them gently. Princess' sobs are muted against her chest and her ears were ringing so loudly that she didn't hear when Natasha finally addresses Ciara. "So, you gonna tell me what happened or just sit there catching flies?" 

 

Jolting, Ciara stumbles over her words before her expression grew into one of devastation. "I didn't mean to upset her! I swear! I was just telling her about my dreams, that's all." 

 

Princess balls her hands into fists and wants to scream at the top of her lungs that Ciara is the meanest girl she's ever met and she said that she doesn't care about her daddy and is useless and watches stupid shows and whines, but then Tony strides into the room and Princess flies out of Tasha's lap and into his arms within seconds. 

 

Auntie Tasha doesn't stick around; if the Kevlar suit is anything to go by, she was already on her way out when she'd heard Princess crying. 

 

"Woah! Hey there, squirt. I got worried when you didn't tell me how good my giraffe drawing was." He speaks into her hair as he holds her close in a warm hug. She giggles brokenly against his chest. "What's got you so upset? I don't like it when my peanut cries." 

 

Taking a shaky breath, she sobs into his chest and it all comes pouring out. "Daddy's hurt on a cliff! He fall and- and Uncle Buck is a skeleton and Iron Man falls from the sky and goes 'smash!'" 

 

There's a period of silence as she cries into his chest, mindful of the glow in the middle. He'd made her a nightlight that looked just like it after she told him how much she liked it when she'd first moved into the tower. 

 

"Jesus, kid." Tony grunts, leaning down to pick the devastated girl up and rest her on his hip. "Where'd you get that idea?" 

 

"Psychic! Knows and saw and made me see!" Princess closes her eyes so tight that it hurts. "Want daddy. Want daddy. No cliff." 

 

It doesn't take much longer for Tony to bid Bucky's girl a snappy goodbye and proceed to carry Princess out of the room and down to his workshop. There, he wipes away her tears with a dirty rag and hacks into her daddy's coms for just long enough for her to hear his voice. 

 

She falls asleep in her corner of the lab, cuddled up on the comfy couch, buried beneath a mountain of warm blankets. 

 

Tony glances up at the ceiling and makes a face. 

 

He makes a mental note to check Jarvis' video feeds before getting lost in his calculations, Princess' wheezy snores providing an excellent source of white noise. 

 

 

 

——————

 

 

 

When her daddy comes back from his mission, bruised but otherwise unharmed, Princess makes him pinky promise to never ever go near any cliffs ever again. He frowns and gets confused but agrees nonetheless, holding her tight like he always does after coming home from a mission and not letting go for hours. 

 

When Uncle Bucky brings Ciara over a week later, Princess' throat closes up immediately upon laying eyes on the girl. It's scary and she raises a hand to her throat and stares at her daddy with tears in her eyes because she's confused. She's never gone quiet halfway through the day before. She either wakes up quiet or she doesn't — that's how it usually worked. 

 

But everything is fine and she knows her daddy would never make her talk even if she just didn't feel like it. The day turned to evening and they were laughing at Uncle Bucky's terrible jokes. When she remembered she was still in her pyjamas, she flushes red and pushes her head into her daddy's chest, but gets over her embarrassment quickly once she realises her daddy still has his pyjama bottoms on too. 

 

It's only when daddy and Uncle Bucky leave her and Ciara alone in the living room whilst they go and serve dessert that things go from good to bad. 

 

Princess was been minding her own business, snuggling into her blanket and watching the classic Snow White movie on TV when Ciara looks up at her and frowns sadly. "I'm real sorry about you and Uncle Steve."

 

Princess looks at her and furrows her eyebrows. She's silent, but the confused 'what?' seems to translate.

 

Ciara shrugs and leans in. "Well, my daddy was telling me that Uncle Steve is getting bored of you. You know, because you've been his little for such a long time. That's just what happens." 

 

And, well, the feeling of bile rising in Princess' throat is one of the worst things she's ever felt. Her stomach twists and her heart drops and cracks into millions of tiny pieces and her eyes fill with tears and — 

 

Ciara's eyes go wide when Princess stands up from the couch, still wrapped tightly in her blanket, and literally sprints out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her but not soon enough, because a loud sob infiltrates the apartment and within ten seconds Steve and Bucky are back in the room; concern sown onto their faces. 

 

Jarvis opens the elevator before she even has to ask and she'd crying too much to be able to tell him where she wants to go, but he takes her there anyway. 

 

When the doors open and she's met with the sight of Tony's lab, her sobs only grow heavier. The billionaire slides out from beneath one of his cars and, within thirty seconds has the girl wrapped in his arms. 

 

And sure, the last time he'd held her when she was crying had been bad, but this time was somehow so much worse. She was heaving and gagging and hardly breathing between wails. She was clutching at his t-shirt like she was afraid he'd push her away and holy-shit what the fuck had happened? 

 

"Gonna leave me! He's gonna leave me and I'll be all alone and he'll not love me anymore." 

 

What. The. Fuck. 

 

Tony swears under his breath and sweeps the girl off of her feet and into his arms. She pushes her head into his neck and continued to cry like never before and Tony glares bloody murder at the elevator that was steadily descending to the lab. 

 

Brushing her hair out of her face with one hand, Tony looks down at the broken little girl seriously. "Squirt, I need you to tell me what happened." 

 

Princess just sobs, because the truth hurts and her belly aches and she wants to be sick and she's so scared that her daddy is gonna leave her forever. "Bored of me. Too long, Tony." She moans painfully through her cries. "Daddy's bored and won't love me anymore." 

 

And then the elevator opens and Steve, panicked and wide eyed, swallows in the sight of his baby girl crying earnestly into Tony's chest. 

 

Any doubt Tony may have had in Steve melted away at the sight of the pure, unfiltered agony in his eyes as he watched his little girl cry. 

 

Princess looks up and lays eyes on her daddy and he's so beautiful and she just wants him to hug her and take her away and never ever let her go. 

 

Taking a hesitant step forward, Steve reaches his arms out "Angel, what happened? You went running and Ciara wouldn't feel us why." 

 

Tony narrows his eyes as Princess takes a heaving breath but doesn't make a single move toward her daddy. "She thinks you're bored of her, Rogers. That you're gonna leave her and not love her anymore." Steve physically stumbles in shock. "Any idea where she mighta got that idea?" 

 

Shaking his head, Steve walks straight up to Tony and takes his little girl into his own arms, holding her against his chest and shushing her as her cries pick up in strength again. "Oh, my sweet angel. I'm never gonna leave you and I'm never gonna stop loving you, either." He places her down on her feet in-front of him, cups her cheeks and tilts her head up. "You're my little girl. My beautiful Princess. Why would I ever leave you, hm?" 

 

Staring up into her daddy's eyes, wrapped in his strong arms, Princess takes a shaky breath. "Got bored, Daddy. Yours for too long." She parrots Ciara's words, feeling her chest tighten with every syllable.

 

Her daddy exhales and picks her up once again, coaxing her legs around his waist and holding her against his chest. She pushes her head into his neck, breathing shakily. "Baby girl, I won't ever get bored of you. Not in a million years. How could I ever get bored of my best girl?"

 

With a delicate hiccup against his shoulder, Princess whines. "But she said. She- she said you told Uncle Bucky that you're bored because you've had me for too long, daddy." 

 

And she's so exhausted and worn down by the past few weeks that she doesn't even notice as the room falls into a tense hush. Her eyelids are heavy and she's so glad that she's in her daddy's arms. 

 

"What else did she say to you, baby?" 

 

And like a damaged water main, it all comes spilling out. 

 

"She- she said that I'm useless and don't care about daddy and watch stupid shows. And- and that daddy died and Uncle Buck and Tony too and said you had no time to say goodbye but I thinks she was lying and daddy, she's so mean to me when you and Uncle Bucky goes away!" 

 

There's a lapse of silence before her daddy tightens his hold on her and Tony curses loudly. "What kind of fucking girl has Barnes brought into my tower, Rogers?" 

 

Her daddy grinds his teeth as Princess takes a deep breath and relaxes into his chest, feeling so much lighter now that her daddy was there and he knows Ciara is mean so now he can can protect her. 

 

"Jarvis, I want you to relay that entire goddamn conversation to Bucky, right now." Her daddy orders, voice cracking as he snuggles his head down into Princess. "And then I want you to tell that girl that if she ever steps foot in this tower again, the Black Widow will be right there to show her back out." Filled with crippling guilt from not realising what his little girl had been going through sooner, Steve kisses Princess' forehead and closes his eyes. "I'm so sorry for not realising she was being mean to you, baby. I love you. So much more than you'll ever know." 

 

Half-asleep and just plain exhausted, the little girl hums. "Love you, daddy. Lots." 

 

And as she falls asleep, right there in his arms, in the middle of Tony's workshop, she's never felt safer in her entire life.