“I had something to live for; lost it a long time ago,” the omega said emotionlessly into the darkness of the cold damp cave; the only thing that he could fell was the blood and other bodily fluid traveling down his thighs.
“Excuse me,” Yinsen asked sitting up on his poor excuse of a mattress.
“You told me the find something to continue to live for, but the truth is l no longer have anything to live for,” Tony clarified, shifting uneasily in his cot and forcing a painful hiss out of himself “Everyone I’ve ever love is gone; my mother, Anna, Jarvis, Steve,” he tried to swallow the growing lump in his throat, “And all of that- All of that loss doesn’t compare to the emptiness I feel every since I lost James,” he whispered, voice cracking.
Yinsen cleared his throat, the pheromones emitting from the omega was getting to him despite the fact that he was a beta “Even with all that loss you’re still here. Why is that?”
“Extremis,”
“What is that?”
“A form of gene therapy. That basically makes you immortal.” Tony scoffed. “When Stark Industries was trying to expand its medicinal division, my father and I were trying to develop a formula designed to regenerate damaged tissue and regrow severed limbs, mainly for dismembered and amputee soldiers. Long story short, it didn’t work and we lost a lot of government funding.”
“What happened? How did you know it didn’t work?”
“I tested it on myself,” Tony raised his left hand to reveal a pinky chopped to its third knuckle, then carefully rotated his head to show a clipped ear. “Apparently the formula only regenerates and heals the damaged and old tissue you still have and not what you’ve lost.”
“That’s similar to Dr. Erskine’s serum,” Yinsen said in awe.
Tony huffed out a laugh, “Yeah, but it’s super weak compared to it.”
“But still that is groundbreaking! How could you lose government funding for that?”
“I didn’t tell anyone about it.”
“But you’ve barely aged for years, surely someone had to know something was up.”
“They did catch up after a while. The government has been trying to get it out of me for years, but I’ll never give it to them.”
Yinsen was on the edge of his cot, intently listening to what the genius was saying, “Why is that?”
Tony sighed. “If I gave it up, it could only go one way. They turn it into Erskine’s serum or something close, then weaponizes it and then the first country that gives us the wrong look; my bets are between here and Russia, we send our new and improved supersoldiers to show ‘America’s might,” he sneered the last two words.
“Do you actually have so little trust in your government,?”
“Doctor, I’ve worked with the U.S. government for close to sixty years now. I’ve learned that you can’t trust them.”
Both men fell into a comfortable silence, lost in their own thoughts for what felt like hours but could only have minutes. The peacefulness was broken when Yinsen asked, “Why did you test the Extremis formula on yourself? Certainly, manly people would line up to be part of the human trials, yes?”
“It was a drunken mistake. I guess part of me had wanted something to go wrong and the formula would kill me; as I said before, I have nothing to live for.”
“What about your father?”
Tony scoffed. “What about him? He couldn't give a rat’s ass about me. Hell, I’m not sure if he even wanted me, anyway. And it was his fault that my mother is gone; the fucking useless drunk.”
“What about your um..assistant, Poppy? And your friend Rhodey. Aren’t they something to live for?”
“It’s Pepper,” he corrected, accepting Yeinsen’s quiet apology. “And yeah. I guess they’re my something to live for. To be quite frank, I don’t think I could have gone on for this long if I didn’t know them, but even with them, I’m holding on by a thread. I have been for a long time.” Tony let out a huffed out a laugh and started trying to wiping the tears the had begun to slide down his cheeks “I sound like such a sap, how pathetic.”
“It not pathetic, it shows that you have a heart,” Yinsen consoled.
“Yeah, the Most Famous Mass-Murderer in the History of America has a heart,” Tony laughed sarcastically.
That night Tony dreamed he was standing in the middle of his Brooklyn apartment We’ll Meet Again by Vera Lynn was playing on the radio, the main room was very much lived in, but what caught his eye was the sports coat laying on the couch. Tony reached for it with shaky hands and brought it to up his nose, taking a huge inhale of the scent that was stuck to the fabric.
“You know I was wearing that when we met? I gave it to you at the end of the night after I walked you home, said it was something to remember me by till we met again, but still to this day you haven’t properly given it back.”
The omega gasped as he spun around and there, nonchalantly leaning on the door frame chuckling at his recountment, was… “James”
“Hey, doll,” he purred pushing himself off the jamb sauntered up and wrapped his arms around Tony’s slim waist and began swaying to the music. Tony’s arms automatically raised up and circled around the alpha’s neck.
“I miss you so much,” he sniffled into James’s neck.
“I know, doll.”
Tears started streaming down Tony’s cheeks into his lover’s shirt as he lamented, “You lied, you broke your promise! You said you were coming back.”
James pulled back from Tony, cupping his hands on his omega cheek, wiping Tony’s eyes with his thumbs, “You know I’d never lie to you.” Tony tried to tuck his head back into his alpha’s neck but was pressed back a step, forcing him to continue to look at James “But Tones you need to continue to go on without me.”
“I can’t, Jamie, not after what they did to me! I can’t do it anymore,” Tony croaked, tears welling up in his eyes again.
“Please Tony, just promise me you’ll hang on for a little while longer, please,” James begged.
“I promise,” Tony whispered, putting his head in the meat between his mate’s neck and shoulder, utterly disregarding the deeper meaning behind James’s words. Both of them fell into a peaceful silence. The couple just rocking to the song; relishing in the feeling of being in each other arms.
7 YEARS LATER
Tony blindly searched for his phone that was ringing for the second time on the bed bedside table before giving up, “J, pick up my phone,” he mumbled in the pillow.
“Of course, sir.”
“Hello?”
“Tony?”
The urgency in Steve’s voice made the sleep leave Tony’s body immediately. “Steve?”
“I’m going to need help…”
Tony swung his leg out to his bed now on edge, “Where are you?”
“...Berlin.”