No.
No, no no no no nonononono-
That cannot be real.
No.
Fuck!
NO!
He can’t lose another dad, shit!
Peter can’t deal with the pain this time, it isn’t fair. Why him, why must he suffer and suffer all the same over and over again? Why, why, why?
If Mr. Stark dies, it won’t be a win.
Fuck everyone who doesn’t like the man for his arrogance or for him being rich or a hero in an armor, because he is so much more than that to Peter. He is Tony Stark, his mentor. His fucking father-figure. The last dad he knows he will get.
And Peter can’t, won’t live after losing his dad to some shit Tinky Winky. Hell, no. He won’t!
Because in the first place sure as the burning hell Peter isn’t going to let that happen. No fucking way in hell.
Fuck everyone if the Avengers agreed on Iron Man using the fucking gauntlet. They have a fucking half Tesseract heroine right there and they would rather a normal human to that thing? Oh no. It is a fucking absurd.
The fucking stones will not take his dad away from him. Even if Peter himself must uphold the power of the Universe.
So, he does the right thing when everyone is busy keeping the infinity gauntlet out of the Teletubbies’ reach: the moment that he can get it into his hands for a second time, Peter doesn’t give it to Mr. Stark.
He shoots webs till the freaking gauntlet is well glued at his back, everyone shouting and the titan's full attention on him as of now forwards.
Nope.
Tony Stark will not be a martyr today.
"Underoos, what the fu-, hell are you doing??!" Mr. Stark is just so pale and bleeding that it makes Peter turn nauseous. "Give it to me!"
"No"
He refuses, God, how vehemently he refuses it with every fiber of his being.
"Peter!"
Tony shouts unbelieving, which quickly turns into desperation.
Thanos is coming for him even with all of Captain America's efforts and, man, if it wasn't a shitty situation to be, Peter would be fanboying right now because Captain Freaking America was fighting with both Thor's Mjölnir AND his vibranium shield!
"I can't!" he says to his mentor, a trembling voice as part of the alien's army comes to his peripheral vision. "I can't let you do this"
"I need to! I need to fix things, kid!"
Mr. Stark knows that Peter is aware that they don’t have much time, but what he doesn’t know is exactly how much he means to Peter and how things just won’t either be right or fair if his dad mentor dies today.
"No. I won't let you kill yourself; I won't lose you too"
If he then ends up webbing Iron Man's hands before jumping away as fast as he can while listening to his mentor's angry and desperate shouts, well… if Peter survives through this chaotic day, he won’t complain at getting an earful.
Breathe in, breathe out.
For the first time in a while he lets the Spidey-senses go all crazy as they always wanted: all the times he suppressed it coming back full force in a way he could only hope wouldn't end up killing him.
He feels as his eardrums change and adapt to hear even the slightest changes in the air that Peter usually avoids and oh God his vision sharpens to the point that he can see a drop of sweat on Ant-Man's forehead and the guy is far away, his nose wrinkles as a blast of all types of odors that is almost nauseating.
Peter is feeling it all.
And secretly hoping that later it won’t hurt as much as everything in his being was, because damn it was just like the day after he gained his powers, his body was so sore he could cry-
A jump and his arms and legs act as if they are on their own fighting the aliens when he can’t even think because his senses are screaming danger, danger, danger, danger and all he cares about is fighting the enemy to protect Mr. Stark.
He is not keeping count of how many stranger beings he hits and if along the way a few of them are dismembered or thrown with so much force that they smash into the ground, Peter is not actually paying attention.
Attack, web grenade, dodge, kick, high kick, webs, punch, punch-
His stomach chooses that moment to go on a rollercoaster ride, because the chills are much worse than the time Toomes dropped a building on him.
God-
Thanos.
The freaking Teletubby is right there and doesn’t even spare a moment before attacking him and making Peter jump just in time to avoid turning into a pancake.
He bites his lips, ears registering the Avengers desperate gasps, anger and pain. He can clearly hear those near him, their breath and heartbeats despite the absolute mess of sounds that is the battlefield. Truly overwhelming that later, along with the strain on his vision and assaults on his nose, will result in a sensory overload. Peter needs to adjust his senses a bit better, focusing on his current enemy and only about his immediate surroundings or else he won’t last this fight.
As Thanos heavily sways the massive sword in a movement that would've sliced in half (morbidly like a butter knife) someone who doesn't have the same reflexes as Peter, the teen jumps away but not before webbing the blade and yanking it out of the titan's reach —the guy is already powerful enough without a weapon and the boy thinks it's obvious to he keeps the sword out of the way.
"Sooo, I think you owe me an apology for snapping me to dust?" the teenager snarks at the purple alien even if his whole presence gives Peter literal chills.
Thanos scoffs as he realizes his opponent is a child, not much different from his reaction.
"You are but a child. The universe doesn't need half its beings; I did a favor to the balance"
Whatafuckingcrazyidiottelettuby indeed.
"Dude, you got some real problems", the teen is unable to control his sassy attitude when he is this nervous, nope not happening. That guy is huge and had an even bigger stupidity. "You had a hard time in the past, I understand, but killing innocents? It is not cool at all"
He still tries to be reasonable. Maybe that guy is feeling guilty for killing so many people and they can talk it out and end things in a safe way.
Thanos scoffed in disdain. "What I did is something the universe needs. Useless specimens are always exterminated one way or another, for something better to replace them"
Peter arches an eyebrow, avoiding a heavy kick. "Uuh… are you stupid? Don't you know there's something called evolution? Environmental adaptation? Shit like that?"
The guy probably is not fond of being called stupid if his punch attempt means something.
"I lost everything because of other's greed and meaningless wars! Such perverse beings and their likes should perish"
Then perish.
Okay. This is it.
Peter doesn’t need to think, his body just moves and suddenly he is actively fighting against the damn Titan trying to, hopefully, give him back some reasoning because GOD, HE IS AN IDIOT!
He hits the titan and is hit by him, maybe it should hurt more and all but right now all he can feel are his senses that keep telling him to fight, fight, destroy, annihilate that man. Anger in all his moves just like when he wanted to chase Uncle Ben killer and crash him to a slow and painful death.
His spider wants Thanos dead. Dead.
"You wouldn't understand, child"
The titan's bloodied smile makes Peter hate him even more. Now a few feet away from the giant grape, both breathing hard and injured, the boy can’t feel empathy or pity anymore.
No. It isn’t about pity.
It is about always being hurt, losing people all the time, the years of bullying, abuse and silence. It is also about being underestimated, called a liar and so much more depreciating at school, of having to choose between lunch or dinner when things have gotten financially difficult, of always being alone and feeling like he cannot be a damn happy person.
Like someone decided he does not deserve to love and be loved. As if there were, in fact, a curse on him.
Because everyone always leaves him. And he is alone again.
"You are the one who doesn't understand shit, oh 'Great Lord' Thanos’!" The words drop off his tongue so acid that Peter can feel it burning. "You know what? You're a fucking idiot, cause who the hell can think about decimating children just because he's hurt? I don't give a fuck if your home was destroyed, it doesn't mean you can do that to others! You know why? BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS FIGHTING THEIR OWN BATTLES. And you don't have the fucking right to kill little children or leaving them alone in the world. Killing your own daughter?! It's fucking wrong! You don't know half the story of the people that are fighting you today! You don't know what they've gone through! If your beautiful home and precious people were taken from you, why the hell did you do the same to others?! Isn't it common sense? DON'T DO TO OTHERS THE WRONGS DONE TO YOU! YOU FREAKING IDIOT"
With that, even though he has no idea of when he got this close to Thanos, Peter grabs the titan by a leg and throws him away without caring about controlling his strength. Rubbish is thrown at him once the purple alien gets up, but the teenager isn’t in the right state of mind to care about not doing reckless things right now. He’s just so damn angry at the guy that he quickly webs some of the debris just to send it back with full force and if his fist also ends up breaking concrete flying towards him, Peter doesn’t feel any pain.
All the boy can think about is fighting Thanos with all of his strength because the jerk isn’t going to die easily, so maybe this means that Peter can finally take advantage of this insane situation to use his enhanced abilities at full-mode (even though he isn’t sure what 100% would be like). And since gaining this power he has never felt so good as in this moment, realizing that now he doesn’t need to be afraid of hurting who he’s fighting against.
"I feel like someone with shit in their brain decided to choose me of all fucking beings in this universe to keep being alone" Peter finds himself confessing while the purple alien tries to miserably get back to his feet.
Come on, his hit wasn't even that hard.
"I'm tired. Tired of being alone and losing people, my parents, my uncle, my aunt. My friends. People I had to try hard to keep them around because I'm a fucking cursed teenager that keeps getting into trouble and hurting them. I always hurt people because I'm that kind of a shitty person. I try to make things work, and poof, everything that I fucking do goes wrong!"
His throat feels dry, maybe he is screaming a bit.
"I can't deal with it! Everywhere I go some disturbing catastrophe happens, people get hurt when I care for them, and even then?! I keep trying to not hurt anyone! Those fucking muggers that are always stabbing and shooting me with your alien tech and I have to make shitty excuses for why I am sore and pale in classes, I don't hurt them! That fucking bastard father of my ex-girlfriend?! I didn't try to kill him even if he dropped a fucking building on me! Even if that HURT LIKE HELL and I thought I would suffocate under ten tons of rubble! And that sociopath? He kept making holes in my body and even if I almost bled to death, I didn't want to hurt him! I always try, try, and IT'S NOT ENOUGH! I AM NEVER ENOUGH! Then, YOU!? You came with your shitty reasons to kill half the universe, with a sick mind that makes no sense to anyone! And if you just STOP FOR A MOMENT and just look at all the pain you caused, you will know that IT'S SIMPLY NOT RIGHT!"
A punch to the titan's face is only one of the things Peter wanted to do, but it is so good not having to restrain himself anymore! And man. That feels exhilarating! Being able to hear the distinctive sound of bones cracking under his hands.
His spider is out for blood.
Peter spits out the taste of metal in his tongue, distantly noticing this is a sign of internal bleeding but for now he’ll fool himself into believing he just bit the insides of his cheeks.
"It hurts. It hurts to breathe, to move a single inch all the time because I always think I'm going to lose control and hurt someone. I can't even hug them because I freak out about squeezing them to death and the nightmares won't leave me alone! It hurts that I am a disaster, a radioactive accident and a poor orphan!
Breathe in, and out. A hiccup almost escapes his throat and even worse than embarrassing, this would be simply pitiful.
"You have no idea how much it hurts being turned to dust. It burned me alive. You will never get how it's to feel each of your cells exploding and knowing that for everyone else it took only a second, when in your turn it took forever because your advanced healing wouldn't let you die peacefully! I was in pain the whole time and you can't ever understand how much that hurt!"
Finally, after the grape-man is pretty well beaten up like the crap he is, Peter decides to reach back and retrieve the gauntlet still protected by his webs with a simple "rip" sound when he tears them apart.
"I don't want to kill you, even if I hate all the things you've done. I don't- I can't. Cause if I just kill you right now, it is going to be hard in the future"
"No need to think… That much, child... I am almost-", Thanos’ voice is hoarse with tired resignation of defeat before his words are cut short once his eyes recognize the expression on the teen’s face.
Playing with the gauntlet from hand to hand, Peter knows exactly the face he’s making and the reason behind the man's suddenly horrid silence. It is the bitter sketch of a smirk and dead eyes that the boy never lets out to anyone because they don’t need to see such misery, that he hides every day before leaving his bed and venturing out in the world.
"I knew you could take me on in a real fight. You were the only one I have ever tried to… kill" That disgusting word tastes bitter on his tongue than the blood dripping from the corner of his lips, which he’s quick to wipe down. "The first and hopefully the last to know what it's like to make me feel like this. I am struggling to control my strength, and the truth is that I always held back with everyone I ever fought. Because there is something in me that can do harm, but I don't want to. But you? Not with you. I could fight you without worrying for the first time since I got these powers. One thing that has been clear to me for years is that I am not a normal human anymore, so I cannot fight them seriously"
Peter gives a look to the colorful and shiny stones wondering how much it will cost him; how much it will hurt. Really, it can’t cost him anything as he doesn’t have anything else to lose but himself. And it does not matter, anyway.
"Everything I was, someone stripped away from me, and it left me broken like this, even if by accident. I am a universe's mistake, just like I am a failure. Maybe I did deserve to be snapped, hell, I probably still do"
The teenager takes a brief moment to have a shallow breath, his senses are slowly revealing the pain hiding behind the adrenaline's outburst. His throat burns when a bloodied cough erupts from his lungs and he has trouble choking it down.
Miserable as always, Parker.
With the gauntlet still in his hands, Thanos is waiting for death right beside his feet. Peter gives a general look into the battlefield to see the alien army still fighting and monstrous creatures descending from holes in the sky together with the sun going down. In the distance, Mr. Stark still seems to be trying to release his armor with little success and looking past that to avoid the billionaire’s gaze, Peter identifies that his natural webs are gluing more things than he remembered doing.
Actually, a whole bunch of aliens turned into cocoons and cobwebs traps sticking to huge slots of debris.
It had been somewhat funny when he discovered that his body does, in fact, produce natural webs (which would cause too much horror for Mr. Stark), but it had also been freaky. The web fluid of the natural web is much different from the synthetic one he developed, something about their adherence and durability. The synthetic fluid dissolves in about two hours, which is perfect to keep the neighborhood clean given his swinging at builds habit (mostly because his patrolling is done in the middle of the night). On the other hand, quite literally in this case, his natural fluid is incredibly sticky and has a strong grip and can hold some heavy weight for at least twelve hours if not exposed to high temperatures or solvent (which his body also produces, so Peter hadn't gotten around synthetizing one in a lab just yet).
But it wasn’t such a good thing the first time playing with them as May must have thought that he was doing indecent things, while all that was happening in his room was that Peter had been desperately trying to take down the damn webs without screwing the walls (he panicked for a few minutes before realizing that the sweat in his palms would dissolve the webs without much trouble).
He didn’t even need to try that much when he took the gauntlet. His hands would naturally produce some kind of acid, if he wanted them to (unfortunately, the teen also hadn’t had the time to analyze the substance in the lab before all of this mess happened), so Peter didn't do that enough times to know if there was going to be damage to Iron Man's own suit given that it was made with nanotechnology.
What brings him back to the current situation, because even with his internal monologue it cannot have been more than five seconds. Time had the history of being just like that sometimes inside his head: slowed down. Some people called it anxiety, Peter liked to call it Spider-Senses.
Peter looks down at the stones and inherently knows that he will not be able to destroy any of the infinity stones or even the gauntlet itself without doing the snap first, and that is the only way of really getting rid of this mad titan. He just wishes he did not have to commit mass murder.
Thanos, much to the teenager’s surprise, waits for his decision almost patiently though he at least tries to get back to his feet; bruises and blood everywhere.
You did this.
The spiderling risks a look to Mr. Stark’s direction, noticing that something is happening with the Iron Man’s suit if the man’s face is that tense. It’s been five years since Tony last saw Peter, he is now married to the woman he loves and they have a baby girl that the teen bets to be adorable. His mentor has found happiness after so many years of pain.
He won’t feel it that much if Peter is gone for good.
His aunt May will move on like the strong woman she is, maybe she will find another man to love and without Peter in their way they could have a better life. An easier, less dangerous life. Maybe have kids of their own or no kids at all. He isn’t sure if May had ever really wanted kids with Ben or if they just couldn’t because their nephew fell into their laps early in their marriage.
“PETER, DON’T!”
"Queens, stop! STOP!"
You were a liability from the start to everyone else around you.
God, even Ned had suffered through Flash’s bullying just because the rich kid hated Peter wholeheartedly. Even though MJ pretended that she didn’t care, it must have been exhausting dealing with everyone (rightfully so, if he’s sincere) always complaining that Peter didn’t seem to care much about the AcaDech. It seemed so silly, but the realization that he made his friend’s lives difficult was a bitter truth to accept.
"Don't, Spidey! DON'T!"
Yeah… This is the right thing to do.
"PETER!"
With a deep breath, Peter finally shoves his right hand inside the gauntlet.
"NO, PETER, NO!!'
The pain joints instantly to his entire right side, cells crushing deep inside him and making the boy shiver and gasp because that’s just even worse than being snapped the first time. Vision blurring and his chest compressing, Peter almost yanks the gauntlet off his arm and he has to keep his left hand from doing it, contenting his reflexes by holding his exploding arm with all the strength he has without actually crushing it.
Peter needs to make sure his right arm is still attached to his body because it doesn’t feel like it is when he can only feel half of his body burning. That had arguably been one hell of a stupid idea because the scream tearing down his throat is downright agonizing.
“Take it OFF! TAKE IT OFF!”
“KIDDO!”
“OFF, PETER!”
You will screw up.
You always do.
Everybody is going to die because you’re not good enough.
Excellent job, Peter, on getting everyone killed. Like you always do.
No. No. NO. He will not screw things over. He CAN’T, dammit!
Tears in his eyes as his right side seems like it is set on fire, Peter knows that he has to keep going and finish this battle for the last time. He has to shut his mouth and endure the pain even if it is tearing him from the inside out.
Mr. Stark has to live for Miss Potts, for his daughter, for May. Someone has to take care of them, someone like Mr. Stark and not like the walking disaster Peter Parker.
And Tony. God, he looks so terrified right now and the suit is approaching them. Peter swears he sees him even crying. But why would he? Peter is just… Peter. Not someone important.
He is just a poor orphan from Queens with some enhanced abilities, but it isn’t like he is irreplaceable.
Oh man.
That hurts. Were his thoughts always this cruel?
Dear God, self-pity really can wait till after his death. He is going to die, right? All that pain must mean that. Putting on the gauntlet is the same as dying, he knows that. Peter knew about it beforehand and still made that decision.
It is better that way.
The teenager thinks he can find peace in death, maybe like the Third Brother of the Tale of Three Brothers did. He will greet Death like an old friend and go with him/her gladly as equals. He has thought of dying before, too many times to be considered healthy and contemplated it more than anyone should.
If Peter dying meant everyone else is safe and sound, then dying would be… fine.
"Don't, don't, please, God, don't, Peter! Peter, I need you, kid, don't do this to me, the whole point of this shit was to get you back! You can't die, kid, you can't. I love you, Peter. I love you, I love you, I can't lose you!"
He feels the heavy weight settling on his stomach as he closes his eyes.
"PETER!'
And with one last breath he snaps his fingers.
‧₊˚🕷‧₊˚
For his whole life, Anthony Edward Stark knew what pain was. He had a father that was cruel and abusive to him as a child, a lovely mother that couldn't go against the man. He lost both of them and was alone in the world with a millionaire Industry, vultures on him 24/7 waiting for his foolishness so that they could take his money and legacy left by his father. Tony was a certified genius, so he managed on his own until he found someone he could trust. As years went by Tony made a lot of mistakes. Hell, so many of them, actually, that he could not keep count of. Selling his tech to terrorists was one of them, turning into Iron Man, probably another one. Being an alcoholic a third. The Accords and the shit that happened in Berlin were also mistakes.
Meeting Peter Parker was not one of his mistakes, but blackmailing Peter Parker and placing him as Spider-Man in a fight against some of the strongest humans because of a piece of paper, certainly a mistake.
He did not care for the kid at that time.
Taking Peter's suit after the Ferris incident? Big, huge, massive mistake. The kid had almost died because he faced a psycho with a onesie. And Tony had been so freaking wrong, even if he thought he was doing good.
Harshly saying that the teen was nothing without a suit would haunt the man for years, he had no idea of how wrong he had been at the time; he was worried for Peter, he didn’t want the kid involved in alien tech or anywhere Tony couldn’t reach out to help him (he also had funded mistrust at the government that got even worse after the Accords’ mess). But the billionaire wasn’t a symbol of communicating his own feelings, choosing the egocentric persona to hide what he so pathetically failed at. Showing that he cared. And if God existed, Tony’s sure that had been an unforgivable insult because that teenage boy was so much more than just a suit.
But bringing the kid into his life? It wasn't a mistake. The kid was simply precious exactly the way he was; genius smart that could keep up with him in the lab, he also was funny as hell and an adorable nerd, with so many good traits in his personality, so different from Tony, that he had made his way into Tony's heart.
He made Tony love him.
With the events on Titan, the billionaire could say he had never been quite as broken as he thought. All of past painful experiences couldn’t compare to the heart shattering pain he felt as he watched that kid clearly suffering, begging Tony Stark of all people to let him stay as he turned into dust. That had to be the most painful thing Tony had ever lived through. Why such a good kid had to die, why, why, why. It wasn't fair. It was just cruel and heartless.
When he and Nebula were rescued by a blonde woman and finally made it back to Earth, Tony had long lost the will to keep on living, too much guilt and grief inside him. Peter had been the only one allowed in his labs for the longest time since Bruce left shortly after Utron’s fiasco, now the kid’s ghost seemed to haunt Tony's favorite place. God. Losing Peter hit him hard, so hard that Tony couldn't help but isolate himself from the rest of the living Avengers.
After the initial all-consuming blaming himself, Tony’s grief had transformed into anger at Rogers and his little entourage of traitors. If only the Avengers had never ruptured, then they could have fought properly against Thanos before the titan even had the chance to snuck up on them, Tony thought. If only that goddamn wizard had destroyed the Infinity Time Stone when he had the chance, Thanos would not have gotten so far.
But the results would be the same. In the end, Tony realized that he was only shifting the guilt he felt to other people.
Pepper, Rhodes and Happy were alive, but his kid wasn't. And it hurt so much that Tony wanted to drink himself to death all over again, the nightmares wouldn't leave him alone, the panic attacks became frequent once more. It took all Pepper's efforts for him to not do some stupid thing.
The turning point to Tony's misery was Pepper telling him that she was pregnant. How hard he cried then. Cried his heart out, sobbing like a child in her arms, the happiness for that baby in contrast to losing his other kid.
Tony realized that he already had been a parent. For Peter. That had been his role to Peter and the man had only noticed it after losing his son without ever addressing the obvious dynamic between them.
The last few months before the snap had been spectacular and of great significance in the interaction between the teenager and the billionaire, with memorable moments in the laboratory and even during the arachnid superhero's patrols. Tony was able to learn more about that teenager who made him grow several strands of white hair and, at the same time, he couldn't imagine what his life would be like without him. Especially after the situation in Germany with the other Avengers on the run, Peter had become (much like Rhodey, Pepper and Happy), someone irreplaceable in his life.
He just wished he had said that he loved the boy before he disappeared in his arms. Oh, God. Tony had never been the religious type, an atheist through and through, but now he couldn’t think about the loss of his son without invoking the deity. That was his biggest and most heart wrenching mistake. Not telling Peter he loved him, that he saw the teen as his son.
So, when his chubby little daughter, Morgan, was born into this mess of a broken half world, he had made sure to tell her he loved her all the time, three thousand. Three thousand meant his hours spent with Peter, his first child. For five years that number became his mantra and along with his little girl, Tony had it as a reminder of the boy that held a special place in his heart.
Then Scott Lang appeared out of thin air after five years of being declared dead to the same catastrophic event that had taken his son from him, with a chance to fix everything and it was up to Tony to find a way to bring Peter back, without losing Morgan in the process.
They found a way to gather the infinity stones that involved venturing in time travel.
As he makes his own version of Thanos' gauntlet and the battle progresses, Tony knows he will be the one to hold it if push comes to shove. Strange’s signal was impossible to misunderstand. This is the only way.
He knows he’s going to die the moment after he snaps his fingers and he is going to deeply miss his baby girl, her chubby cheeks and cheesy smile just like he’s going to miss his wife’s snark and fondness. He won't see his children grow up, he will not be able to show Peter himself all SI recent technologies and labs or the new suit he made for Spider-Man at the farfetched dream of getting him back. They won’t have the chance to talk about nanotechnology and new inventions and Tony will not see his son off to college.
Tony Stark is going to die with too many regrets, he certainly is. At least, he doesn’t believe that anything on his last day alive could possibly break him again like Peter's death did five years ago.
He’s mistaken, yet again.
There is something wrong in the air, a feeling that Tony’s arm hair gives him chills in the middle of the battle even if he cannot figure out why.
He soon discovers where the bad feeling comes from the moment that Peter goes swinging through a horde of aliens and snatches the gauntlet with the Infinity Stones out of Thanos' reach.
Peter, much to his horror, does not follow Strange's instructions.
Suddenly it is like they are back at Titan all over again.
He watches with tied hands his boy taking the place supposed to be his, facing an army on his own as Peter keeps the gauntlet and the stones protected inside of a web cocoon at his back.
Tony screams at him.
Peter can't do that. Not him. It is Tony's mission, his fate.
As he’s forced to stay on standby with Rogers giving him coverage, scared as hell watching while his kid fights dozens of aliens like they aren’t a challenge, showing abilities Tony hadn't ever seen and a strength his eyes can’t believe.
"That kid's suit is amazing"
He hears someone whisper behind him, but he can’t take his eyes off the kid. His Iron Man's millionaire nanotechnology suit is glued with webs so strong Tony isn’t able to move his hands apart.
Peter’s suit isn't supposed to be that good. Not even the kid’s outdated version of the Iron Spider suit (that had been the recent badass upgrade when Thanos happened) shouldn’t do that well against that crazy titan's army.
"FRIDAY, what are these?! I need to free my arms and get Peter out of the fight!" He grumbles and tries to stretch his arms without success. Shit, when before the last five years did Peter have time to change the formula? And why wasn’t he informed?! ‘Snitches get Stitches’ Protocol’ was activated since the incident where his friend had hacked the suit.
"It appears to be Peter's natural webs, boss"
Wha- "the fuck?! He makes his webs in the lab!"
"Karen's system is online again, boss. I asked for information about Peter's webs and everything else the Iron Spider suit can know about his current condition"
"And?" Tony is getting dizzy, because of worry, concussion or heart attack he cannot be sure.
A hologram with the kid's suit shots from his helmet into thin air. Tony desperately scans the information, eyes widening and throat drying out even more at what he finds there.
"How the hell is his suit working only at 35% and dropping?!"
His AI explains the data to him, "There was 30% of damage caused before the snap, the other 35% however, is due to Peter's use of strength in the last two and a half minutes. The Iron Spider as your suit, boss, does not endure damage from its insides"
"Holy shit"
Eyes darting between the screen with Peter's levels of strength, suit function, vitals and injuries and the scene of the kid fighting, Tony cannot think straight around the fact that it seems that his son is too overpowered for the Iron Spider suit.
"It appears Peter had been holding back until today, boss”
"No shit, Sherlock AI" the billionaire mutters, still shocked to his core.
That decrease in function of the kid's suit is worrying to say the least.
Peter is strong: physically stronger than most, if not all of the Avengers. The suit info doesn’t bring relief to Tony because when he sees Thanos going all out with killing intent on his son, he thinks he will lose his mind.
"Sooo, I think you owe me an apology for snapping me to dust?"
Everyone wearing a comm is able to hear Peter's voice from the old mic in the Iron Spider suit and the talk between the kid and Thanos. Peter's gasps, grunts and harsh breaths as they fight for each other's neck.
He has never seen the kid so angry. In fact, Tony cannot believe this side of Peter right now. The teen fights tooth and nail doing some crazy stunts so easily that an Olympic Gymnast would be jealous, throwing punches after kicks and using a super strength to get out of his way the things Thanos attempts to throw in an empty effort to hold back the kid.
Tony is convinced that his nervous system is about to collapse when the titan lifts a bunch of debris and hurls them like fucking meteorites aiming for his kid. Before Tony can actually find the strength to scream, Peter does one of the most amazing things: rather than dodging all of them that even with his reflexes must be something difficult, he chooses to web a few of them before spinning around so he sends them right back to Thanos, but then one of Peter's fists smashes in half a large piece of rubble.
He realizes that Peter doesn’t have Instant Kill activated because the kid doesn’t have his freaking mask on. So, what the hell?! Punching rubbish like it is a pillow of feathers while evading another dozens at the same time?!? Those are heavily weighted! It is no wonder why the Iron Spider suit is on the verge of breaking apart. The kid really is too strong for it.
"FRIDAY" Tony harshly swallows bile, calling out to his AI in an incredulous whisper as his eyes register Peter punching Thanos square to the face, the titan is thrown away a few feet by its intensity. Tony can only wonder what effect it would have on a normal human being. "What else should I know?"
"... Peter's already sustaining one broken and two cracked ribs from before the snap, the injuries by now include seven broken ribs and three more are cracked. There's blood on his lungs, he has a moderate concussion, dozens of cracked bones, one of his kidneys are failing, he has an injured liver and I'm worried about the damage to his spleen"
So, his kid still gets hurt even with all his strength to fight back and abilities to dodge fatal attacks.
"For fuck's sake!"
This shouldn't be happening. Following the original plan, by now Tony would've already taken the gauntlet and done the snap. He probably would be on his way to limbo.
Oh God. The kid did not let him do it.
What is Underoos trying to do? Exhaust Thanos and finish him off or leave the job for somebody else? Who would snap their fingers, then? Tony vaguely remembers seeing Peter interact with Carol Danvers, maybe the teenager thought she could manage it (which Tony doesn’t doubt in the least given how powerful she is). He had actually considered asking her when he first designed the gauntlet, but Tony was feeling guilty about losing the kid and Strange’s signal shortly after everyone came back through magic portals had put the nail on his coffin that he should be the one to fix things.
His thoughts are interrupted by Peter screaming at Thanos, furious and hurt all the same. About being tired of losing people and feeling like he has a curse that keeps him from being happy. Of how scared he constantly is of losing control over his strength and truly hurting people, even if they aim to kill him most of the time. Peter screams about being unable to even breathe without the fear of misjudging his strength getting the best of him.
Tony did not know.
He would never have thought that such a sunshine boy had been so damn scared all the time, always on edge. Peter is still just a kid and kids should not be scared of hurting others to the point where they have mental breakdowns while facing a mad titan in a battle of life or death.
But Peter is. Constantly.
And even if Tony is now aware of his son's strength, he will not ever let that fear become his. He cannot let Peter be that stressed all the time, it is not healthy —but again, are they even going to survive? Both of them?
What hurts Tony the most is hearing Peter talk of the Snap from his perspective. His stomach almost falls and he feels the urge to throw up because, goddammit, Peter really did feel everything happening to him. His son had been in pain and Tony couldn't do anything to help.
He felt his body disintegrating into specks of dust.
How fucked up could that be? How the fuck such an amazing kid had to suffer that much? While everybody else had been just gone in an instant and did not feel a damn thing?
Then Peter gets the Infinity Gauntlet back in his hands, with a face so broken and hollow eyes like he is dead inside. It makes Tony desperate to get free to go to Peter and hold him tight.
"FRIDAY, I need to get this out! Start heating up!" He orders his personal assistant.
"Boss, I must warn you against doing it. Heating up will cause irreparable damage to the suit"
He watches, panic growing inside him as Peter coughs blood before dissociating as his AI refuses the order. "I don't care!"
Tony recognizes that look on his son's face. It is the same haunted one he had himself back when he was stranded in the middle of the universe at the Guardians of the Galaxy's spaceship and he couldn't help but be off to the world only thinking about Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter-
Whatamigoingtodo, God, please, please.
"Boss, it's going cause first degree’s burn on your arms”
"FRIDAY, just do it NOW!"
The boy averts his gaze to Thanos and then to the gauntlet in his hands. Tony intuitively knows what he was about to do, dread making a shiver run down his spine.
“PETER, DON’T!” he screams, fearing the worst.
"Kiddo, stop! STOP!"
He vaguely hears someone else shouting too, but his heartbeat is so loud that he can’t actually register any words beside the ones leaving his own mouth. He only cares about Peter.
"PETER! DON'T, PETER, DON'T! NO!"
The pain is written all over the boy's face, teeth pressing together and pained grunts coming out, face red with veins contracting. It must be unsupportable. Tony finds himself screaming for Peter, asking him to take it off, trying to reach his kid.
Is he too late?
His arms are already burning, but the webs still cannot be pulled off. So, Tony keeps trying to force them apart, the panic making his heartbeat speed up as he can only witness Peter taking his place.
Killing himself.
Please, please, don't let that kid die. Please, please, please. He can't die.
And Tony does startles when the webs give out with one last rip and even hissing as the remaining of the gauntlet of his suit drops to the floor while scraping the burned skin, he quickly jumps back to his feet, activating whatever is left of energy in the suit’s propulsors so he can fly to Peter and take that goddamn infinity stones away from him.
He doesn’t care. No!
His kid will die if he keeps that on! Screw the universe!
He can’t lose Peter again!
"Don't, don't, please, God, don't, Peter! Peter, I need you, kid, don't do this to me, the whole point of this shit was to get you back! You can't die, kid, you can't. I love you, Peter. I love you, I love you, I can't lose you!"
Tony isn’t even paying attention as he rambles aloud or how everyone is suddenly screaming over each other in the communicators, almost falling at least ten times trying to reach his kid.
But he couldn't, he couldn't be faster, he couldn't reach Peter no matter how hard he forces his suit current energy levels.
He doesn’t get to him in time.
Peter snaps his fingers and everything is done. Finished.
Tony sees everything happening in slow motion. How every fucking alien disappears just like the wind beings blowing dust away, followed by a cascade effect as the Avengers and their allies either fall down or get to their knees in relief and exhaustion, pressing over their wounds and comrades.
Peter is swaying on unsteady feet. Eerily motionless his body falls back light like a feather, flat as he hits the destroyed ground. The Iron Spider nanoparticles dismantle just as graciously, leaving just the old Spider-Man suit protecting his body. Blood is leaking from wounds that didn't seem to be there a moment ago, head tilted to the side.
When Tony finally, finally can touch Peter, everything feels like it takes an eternity. That precious child is laying there just as he shouldn't be. Peter. Peter was there and isn’t anymore.
He feels hot tears streaming down his cheeks as he holds the boy against his own injured body, hands touching the teenager's face so softly like Peter is going to break at the slightest breeze. The billionaire carefully makes his way to start running his fingers through the teen's curly hair. A sob escapes when there is no instinctual reaction to the touch and then another one escapes, soon all he hears are his own sobs.
Tony is crying while cradling his dead son against his chest.
Then Thanos grunts not far from them.
The bastard must be the last of the enemies alive, just like the plague he is. And when the billionaire sees the body still half-dusted, just like he had been sitting before, Tony almost loses his grief to anger.
But the titan doesn't have a satisfied look on his purple face, it is almost scrunching up in confusion and sadness. "Was he… your child?"
With a hiccup, Tony still bothers trying to wipe his face clean while looking at the boy on his lap as he answers. "He is"
"I guess I... truthfully regret it, then"
God, only Peter would have been able to convert a genocide villain. Said villain is now turning to dust already by his shoulders but keeps looking at the two of them thoughtfully.
"... He seemed to be a good child"
Tony sniffs loudly, not trying to clear away the tears anymore. "Yeah, damn right he is"
If there was time for it, Stark would have seen the sad smile that creeps into the titan's lips and a single tear that gives out his deep regret. But the billionaire is not looking at their nemesis when it happens, nor would Tony feel happy to see that as it is just emphasizing the fact that his son is dead. No regret in the universe will change that.
And so, the war that took five years (and a major death count that eventually they reversed) ended by the hands of a person almost no one knew even existed in the first place.
No one is celebrating loudly, instead worrying about getting their comrades out of the wreckage and holding them tight making sure they are alive.
Tony just sits there with his kid.
Oh, Peter.
"Tony, please, Tony, tell me you're alive"
It is Pepper's trembling voice over the comms finally after some dreadful silence, but he can only answer her by sobbing in his anguished cry. He lost again, he failed again, he was useless again. Nothing will ever fix that.
Next, different sounds indicate that multiple people are approaching but Tony merely keeps looking at his child. His dead child in his arms.
"Oh, Tony"
Peter looks so peacefully asleep that his heart throbs in pain. Tony will not see his smile or hear his laugh ever again or his deep frowns when being lectured by him and May. He will never see the genius ideas and feel like an old man by the vine jokes or see the boy wearing his nerd-funny t-shirts.
"So, he really didn't follow the plan" he hears Strange's voice, filled with deep regret.
Everyone seems to regret something, now.
"You knew the kid was going to do it?" The raspberry voice sounds like Barton, way more exhausted and sadder than usual.
The solely "... Yes" from Stephen marks it as the final nail in the coffin for Tony.
Damn. His kid would have died anyway, and all this time Tony thought he could change it —that he could use this chance to save Peter and die in his place.
"But something changed. This was not the future where we won. This boy, he… He single handedly won. It wasn't like that when I saw the only possible outcome of this plan ever working. The Endgame was Stark’s"
"Does it mean that we screwed up something in the timeline?"
"No, it seems more complicated than just that” Stranges says and seems deeply in thought.
Which meant that it was something even harder to grasp than a messed-up timeline, like greater powers influencing this universe’s survival favoring this kid’s odds as if fixing a storyline, the sorcerer quietly thinks to himself.
Stephen adds a few seconds later in a decisive tone. “Something changed and I am uncomfortable enough as it is. I will not look into it"
"But I thought..." Rogers argues as if trying to make sense of things, the super soldier probably is looking for a better explanation.
But there is nothing that can be said or attempted at being explained that will make this easier for Tony.
And he cannot keep listening to any of this meaningless talk anymore. "I don’t care, okay?! It's enough! Peter is gone, goddamnit"
Tony finally looks around without caring for his teary blotched face, not surprised at finding Steve, Pepper, Clint and Stephen there as he had heard their voices just like he knows that the other Avengers are also coming. Thor and Carol arrive a few seconds later with Banner, Scott and Hope with them. Wanda, Barnes and Sam follow in stride right after in the company of the rest of the Guardians and Nebula.
Slowly, a crowd of survivors from all over the battlefield such as the warriors of Wakanda and king T'Challa himself along his sister Princess Shuri, the Valkyries led by Brunnhilde, the Asgardians and even the Sorcerers (not to mention the whole lot of other allied aliens) are gathering around them, mourning expressions once they realize much to their horror that a kid, Tony’s kid, has died to save them.
"I'm so sorry, honey" Pepper finally sits down right beside him, her own hands gradually going through the boy's hair. Her voice is hushed, delicate yet profoundly sad.
"I failed him, Pep"
She gently pulls Tony’s head to her chest, half hugging him before letting out a heavy breath, her own mourning and grief seeping through her words. "We all did. We could not protect the team's kid. It's our fault, not yours"
Tony sobs loudly, one of his hands entwined with hers and the other caressing Peter's face. A pale, cold, too still childish face.
"I-It wasn't… He's my son, I should’ve s-saved him this time..."
"I know, honey"
"I love him, Pep. Oh God, I l-love him and he died again"
"I know"
Tony refuses to move, leaning against his wife as everyone watches him crying and mourning.
It is over.
‧₊˚🕷‧₊˚
Peter wakes up to nothing besides pure and almost blinding white light and it takes him a few seconds to remember what has happened and where he (probably) is. It is quiet and empty.
Quite peaceful.
Closing his eyes he enjoys the moment. He is dead (there is no doubting it), but he cannot find the right to care because at least there isn’t any pain anymore —his body is not heavy and, in fact, he almost feels light enough to float. Inwardly he knows he won’t have to deal with any kind of pain anymore, he is safe.
Is everyone else safe, too?
The teen takes a long breath. No, he shouldn't think about it. Of course they are just fine.
What if they aren't, though?
No, they should be. Peter did the snap, every alien should be gone and Thanos too. Everyone should be well and alive.
But what if it wasn't enough? Maybe my body couldn’t handle it. Maybe I died and everything was in vain. And maybe Thanos is still alive and will kill Mr. Stark. No, no. That couldn't have happened. I had the infinity gauntlet. I snapped my fingers. He should be dead. Oh God, I killed him. Oh God, what if I didn't kill him? No, Peter. Stop. They are fine. They are fine without you. You can rest now. You did good. You deserve to rest.
"You shouldn't be here, Peter Benjamin, the only son of Mary and Richard Parker"
He is so relaxed there that he does not even jump when a sudden voice talks to him. Peter looks around without any worry or rush. He kind of hoped that there was going to be someone there, after all he did have the most powerful stones when he died, so that there is, in fact, a voice that knows his full name? It is not that much of a surprise.
Instead of a person, Peter just sees the six Infinity Stones floating in front of him and chuckles at how absurd this would have been years ago before he gained his powers.
"You shouldn't be here, we were waiting for someone else"
Realizing that this could take a while, he sits down and guesses that it is time to argue with powerful jewelry.
"Yeah, sorry. But he kinda had his hands full, so I thought I could handle this for him" The Stones hover closer. "Did you desire it, Peter Benjamin? For our power?"
That gets him thinking for a few seconds, but Peter just crosses his legs like he usually does when troubled. "Like what? For you?"
"Yes, child. For the supreme power"
"Well, no. I was on a field trip before this whole shit happened and how could I have imagined that a big grape would kill half the universe? Man, I just wanted to find a matching pair of socks in my drawer and get to school on time" It is almost funny in a morbid way how his biggest problem that day (that felt like only yesterday) had seemed to be unmatching socks. "Then there were these two weird guys, just like Pink and Brain but green and before I knew, I was in this mess with Barney and his friends"
They seem to be waiting for him to keep talking, so he decides to ask them instead.
"What do you want, after all? Thanos is dead, I'm dead and half the universe is back, it's over. It should be enough"
The Infinity Stones quickly group together, suddenly the voice unfolding into multiple tones "It shouldn't have been you"
Ooh, so they are angry. Because of that, Peter can’t help but scoff. "No shit, Sherlock. Like I said, there's nothing left to do"
The stones hover closer to him, their shine more colorful and brighter as the six tones of voice spoke together in echo.
"We were expecting Anthony Edward, the only son of Maria and Howard Stark"
"Yes, I've guessed that already. But you're stuck with me, so get over it" he huffs, left hand going through his hair like something is there.
Peter can’t shake the feeling that something is in his hair, so he keeps his fingers there. It is strange, he is not feeling any pain so what does that mean?
"You shouldn't be here" they accuse him again and the teenager rolls his eyes.
"I already did it, alright! No turning back now, because I'm dead. Content yourselves with me and stop complaining! I'm dead, dammit"
His voice cracks a little, but he hopes they won’t care enough. Except they apparently do.
"It was not your time or how it should've happened" the stones explain quite casually, or as casual talking-stones can get.
But Peter doesn’t feel near enlightened at hearing that. Right, not his time they say? Fuck them, fuck everything. Not his time, his ass!
"Really? Because I am here, aren't I? And if any of you thinks it was time for Mr. Stark, it's straight up bullshit. He finally has a family, he finally feels loved, why would this be his end? It's not right"
"It's not right for you too. You are too young to be here" they argue with him, slightly pissed based on how they're hovering in circles around him.
They are annoying. This conversation is not going to solve anything, because what has been done is done. Peter is satisfied with the outcome and just wants his damn peace, so he tries to ignore them.
Except for that now there is something on his face and it is disturbing how warm that feels. How it whispers love in his ears and makes him shiver. It also makes his heart ache for some strange reason, as mourning usually feels like —and that is something Peter’s used to for years. Mourning and grief.
Peter can’t help but think about Mr. Stark, May, Ned, MJ, Happy and Miss Potts (or is it Mrs. Stark, now? He didn’t have the time to ask). He will miss helping May cook, building Legos with Ned, talking to MJ and be called a nerd, the usually grumpy rides with Happy that sometimes would make a joke but still cares about him or get to see Pepper being sassy. He will miss spending lab time with Mr. Stark, just the two of them for hours talking about nerdy things before FRIDAY warning them that they should eat something. The teenager will miss the shawarma they used to get as snacks, to argue with Mr. Stark and say that pineapple pizza is actually good. Peter then realizes that he didn't even have the chance to meet his dad's mentor's daughter and now he never will.
Shit, now he wants to cry.
"I couldn't let Mr. Stark die. He needed a family for so long and now he has one. And they need them. I couldn't let a little girl lose her dad"
The stones fluctuate as if shaking in disapproval. "You were the one who didn't want to lose somebody else"
Peter finds the strength to laugh instead of crying. "Yeah, that too"
They stay in silence for a while and the boy keeps trying to avoid thinking too deeply about what was and never could be again. He can’t regret his decision because it was the right one, so he won’t.
As the sensation of something touching his face comes back, he bites his lip. It’s starting to feel like someone is touching him in the gentlest way and it leaves Peter with watering eyes. Something is happening and he doesn’t know what.
"It's time for you to choose"
Peter lifts his head, tilting it genuinely confused by this time around. There shouldn't be anything to choose, what are the stones trying to do? What can they possibly do?
"I can't choose because I've got nothing to choose from. I'm dead, guys"
They circle him again, which Peter imagines it's their way of rolling eyes at him. "Yes, you must make a choice"
Great, this wasn't in his plans. He just had to die, this was all for which he had planned. "Peter Benjamin Parker, get on your feet"
A little pissed off by the fact he didn’t find peace yet, Peter does as he’s told. In his thoughts it should have been much easier as he isn't related to anyone else, but apparently that isn’t the case.
He wants to rest so badly.
He thinks he deserves that.
"So, what are the absurd options?" the teen asks snarkily.
If they could, Peter is sure that the shitty stones would be laughing at his expense. "Choose between staying in the land of the dead or going back to the living realm"
The teenager blinks and his thoughts come to a halting pause, the retort disappearing in his throat.
They are messing with him. They must be, this cannot be serious.
However, when he thinks things can’t be any more shattering, it’s how his mom, dad and uncle Ben come to his vision. They are far away, waiting for him with big smiles and expectant eyes.
Peter's feet are already moving on their own and he can’t bother to see anything else but them. They are there; they are real. He finally can be with them.
"Peter"
He hears someone whisper and freezes right on his tracks.
Is it worth it, stopping? He is halfway to his peace where he can be with his family.
"Peter", They… No, she repeated. Who is it? "It's not there where you should be"
He grits his teeth and turns around ready to scream at the woman who should know better than get in the way of someone crossing to the other side. Only it isn’t any woman, but the Black Widow herself.
Natasha Romanoff.
And there she is with braided reddish fading blonde strands of hair wearing a white T-shirt, baby blue jeans and red all-star. She looks at him like they have known each other for so long, but aside from briefly meeting at the Avengers Civil War they aren’t personally acquainted.
"Black Widow, ma'am?"
She smiles, half sad, half lovingly, before reaching out a hand to him. "Yeah, Pete. Why don't you come a little closer to me?"
The boy considers it looking at her hands. There is some kind of warmness coming from her that he cannot feel about his family and somehow that doesn’t feel right. It seems that even dead his spider-senses still somewhat work even if a bit dulled and given that they are never wrong, the teenager takes her offered hands.
But that should feel wrong, because Peter had always wanted so much to be able to meet his parents and uncle again.
"Peter, they are happy to see you again, I'm sure…" See!? She also agrees with him! "But it isn't time to join them. Not now, sweetheart"
"But-" Peter has to look around, almost breaking contact with the woman. His dad, mom and uncle are still there, waiting. But-
What is happening? His family is far more away than before and even if Miss Romanoff keeps holding his hand, Peter still feels touches in his face and hair. It isn’t her.
It is the same warmth as her hands, though. Is there someone else there he isn’t able see just yet?
"Peter," She repeats slowly. "You have to make your decision. Do you want to stay with them or go back to...?"
He thinks for a few seconds, if he had been alive Peter was sure his heart would be thundering in his chest. "I... I want to be with them, please"
Miss Romanoff looks at him with warm eyes, but a sad smile as if he’s given her the wrong answer on purpose. "Think one more time, Peter"
The teen doesn’t understand why she is talking to him like that, like she knows him for so long and can read the thoughts that all Peter ever wanted was to not be left by anyone else. He does not want to lose anyone else. But even if that is the case that she can do mind reading, Miss Romanoff should be able to understand just why Peter wants to be with his family, why he must be with his family.
"But ma'am… I've wanted this for so long, to be with them, with my family"
And it is true. Being alone in the world is terrifying, he doesn’t like being lonely and with the chance of losing Mr. Stark, it seemed like everything in his life would crash from that point forwards. He felt in his bones the terrifying certainty almost like a premonition, that something worse would happen to his life and those still near him, eventually either killing them off or leaving him.
Thinking about it hurts.
"I know, Peter. But you have so much more to live"
"I don't want it!" He feels his throat drying. "I don't, I can't keep l-losing people. I can't, ma'am"
The urge to cry gets increasingly intense. Damn. He really thought that this would be easier. He thought dying would be faster than it actually is.
"I just want to be with people who love me" He whispers, broken and on the verge of tears.
Then Miss Romanoff touches his face at the same place someone else seems to do. It gives him an electric shock, his spine aching suddenly and making him gasp for air.
"Little spider, you are loved by so many people. You can feel them, right? The warmness in your cheeks, the fingers caressing your hair. They love you so much, they can't bear the thought of living without you"
He cannot believe it. Why? Why would someone love him? A stranger?
"You're no stranger, Pete. You've long been the Avengers nephew, cousin and little brother. You're Tony's and Pepper’s son and Morgan's big brother in all but blood. You're your aunt's son at heart. You became family to everyone around you, even your friends. You are not alone anymore, Pete, you have a big family who will love you every day for the rest of their lives and yours"
They love him. Is that true?
As if noticing his doubts, the former spy waves a free hand and he can see… the Avengers. He can see them with somber and sad expressions but can’t figure out why. What happened? Peter is almost freaking out, thinking that what he did has not been enough and, in fact, they couldn't fix things.
Until he sees Mr. Stark crying while cradling a body in his lap. His body. Peter's unmoving and cold body.
"I-It wasn't… He's my son, I should’ve s-saved him this time..."
"I know, honey"
"I love him, Pep. Oh God, I l-love him and he died again"
Seeing how his dad's mentor's hands connect with his face, Peter understands now where the warm touches that he had been feeling come from. It makes sense and so much sense that the boy cannot help but start to cry in earnestly. God, it should not have been this difficult.
He had wanted to reunite with his parents and uncle for so long —they were his only blood family and Peter doesn’t have them anymore. But now? Seeing Mr. Stark crying and seeing as he is not the only one, the teen feels like he has a hole in his chest.
Man, he really can’t do any single thing right: always fucking things up.
“H-How... I just c-can’t”
Natasha hugged him, and dear God, how desperately he needs it as his fingers crush through the fabric of her shirt and his whole body shakes uncontrollably. “I’ve got you, spider-baby, Momma-spider’s here”
Peter breaks down just like this. Tears streaming down his face while he sobs in the former- Black Widow’s chest, wondering why all that shit must happen to him. It is not fair.
It isn’t fair that his parents died in a plane crash, his uncle and aunt struggling to take care of a 6 year old boy while they were in debts; guys like Skip Westcott shouldn't exist and it isn’t fair either his fucking luck every time he has a field trip, because some shit always happen with him in those—as getting bitten by a radioactive spider that gave him superpowers overnight, the Vulture attack on his AcaDech competition in Washington and the goddamn purple titan invading Earth when Peter was on his way to the Museum Of Modern Art. It is not fair that uncle Ben was shot by a random mugger right in front of him and how he and Aunt May couldn’t properly afford the rent, bills and even enough food for months (what a terrible time to have a teenager with an enhanced metabolism). It had not been fair meeting Iron Man just so the man could have more people to go against at least half the Avengers, it also was nowhere near fair that Mr. Stark had been so disappointed in him after the Ferris incident and how it crushed Peter’s feelings. It was not fair, it still is not fair. His first girlfriend’s dad tried to kill him. God, Peter was almost blown up by a falling airplane and got really close to being crushed by a building while trying to do something good. Anything good. Being bullied isn’t fair, having been abused was not fair. The Decimation sure as hell wasn’t fair, neither are the lost five years of his life.
So, Peter cries until he whimpers like the broken child he truly is and Natasha is as good as an angel to let him sob out his frustrations for quite some time —or at least until the infinity stones ask him again for his decision.
Eyes and nose red from crying, the teenager turns to his parents and uncle Ben before whispering broken words, still half sobbing.
“I’m sorry, I am so sorry”
They just smile at him as if relieved and Peter swears, he hears them say “It’s okay, baby, it’s okay” before they disappear into thin air.
Natasha lets out her own deep sigh and one of her hands makes its way to his left cheek, a gesture that he answers by lifting his chin and looking into her green eyes. She looks near tears herself, but even then, her expression is the most loving one.
“I wish we had properly met earlier”
His own eyes are watering again and Peter needs to fight off sniffing. “You are family, too”
Her laugh was like some heavenly music to his ears. “Yeah, we are family”
Peter doesn’t let go of their hug, too scared she will be gone just like his parents and uncle Ben, instead he holds her even tighter. He can feel her and the stones tensing but can’t care less.
“Can’t you come back with me?” he asks in a small voice.
The woman denies shaking her head. “I’ve already made my sacrifice” Either way he is going to lose something. Someone.
This also is not fair, damn.
“You need to go, little spider. They’re waiting for you” Peter swallows down the knot in his throat.
“I can't”
He needs to take the risk.
‧₊˚🕷‧₊˚
Tony half expects that someone will drag him from there or to try to make some sense in his grieving head as the minutes pass down. He expects eulogies, speeches or even for someone to snap- no, not that word, but he distantly thinks that someone at least is going to lose their patience with him and he will have to fight to stay where he is. That does not happen, though, and later when he isn’t such a mess, he’ll probably find in himself past the grief to thank them for just sitting close and allowing him to mourn his son.
There are, however, some other things that Tony Stark does not expect in the slightest.
Suddenly the otherwise gray dulled infinity stones attached to the infinity gauntlet still in Peter’s right hand decide to shine brightly and it isn’t any kind of shine: it is the colorful kind only a master rainbow can give.
Between variations and degrees of “What, what’s happening?!”, “For the fuck’s sake-”, and “Isn’t it over yet?” Tony feels his heart clenching.
It is FRIDAY’s voice that shakes his fear away and replaces it with hope instead. A miraculous kind of hope, that even being impossible still makes his heartbeats go crazy.
“Boss, I have Peter's vitals again”
Tony cannot believe it even as the chest of the unmoving boy gets back to going up and down or when the eyelids make a familiar movement.
He also doesn’t believe it even as the kid slowly opens his eyes, only seconds later.
No- he can and he will. He will believe that something good is going to happen.
“Hey m’Str’k, g’d' to s’ ya” Peter mumbles a few words, voice so hoarse Tony only understands it because there is an absolute silence in the remains of the Avengers Compound.
No one reacts for exactly 1,06 seconds and then everyone truly hovers closer to see his boy.
"H-hey, welcome back" Tony's smile blends with his tears, this time happy ones.
His kid smiles softly too and for a moment everything is pure bliss, except for the bloodied coughing ruining it six seconds later.
"FRIDAY, run the Scan again" the billionaire urgently demands from his AI, the relief at seeing his son’s eyes full of life again overshadowed by worry.
"On it, boss"
"Mr. Star-", another round of coughs followed by wheezing and small painful moans.
"Don't, don't talk. We've got you, Peter"
He tries to pass confidence to his son while Strange and Bruce approach them to see the teen's condition, but soon enough the scan results appear on a hologram in real body scale for anyone near to see. It is downright terrifying to see such critical numbers, indisputable proof that his son still is pretty close to death's doors. Peter has so many broken bones and internal bleeding (a goddamn collapsed lung!) that he should not even be conscious.
"Tony, we need to move him" Bruce in all his Hulk glory has an urgency in his voice, something Stark is not a fool to ignore.
It is then that Peter tries to move, painful gasps worrying Tony. "N-No, Mr. Stark"
"Kid, we have to get you to medical care", Strange is, for the first time since Tony met him (okay, it wasn't that long actually considering that the wizard of Oz had been dead like half the universe), being reasonable and caring.
Tony tries keeping his kid steady, so the boy won’t worsen his injuries with the movements, but even though he is hurt beyond comparison, Peter is just too strong to be held back and almost panicking at the same time.
"Peter, please" Tony pleads, worried.
"N', n' yet, i's n' over"
Finally, when Danvers comes over his boy calms down a little, as the confident superwoman hero (he is trying to get better at giving compliments, okay?) gently gets him sitting by Tony's side.
"What? What else is coming?" She asked, but Tony can distinguish that there is more concern in her question about the teenager's well-being than for a new threat.
Peter looks like a true trembling mess, obviously in pain if his scans and his labored breathing are not enough to prove. Still, he lifts his right hand to show them how the stones keep shining.
"Son, what does it mean?"
In an appropriate moment in the near future, thank you very much, Tony will kick Steve where the sun doesn't shine for calling Peter 'son' aloud before he could, wearing his suit as he does it. The nerve of one Steve Rogers!
With his help and careful movements, Peter rests the weight of his body by Tony's left side. Pepper also passes an arm around the teen's back, giving him a little bit more support even though she delicately avoids touching any injuries.
Peter takes a great breath, speaking almost full sentences without gasping as much. "I've made th..em promise me, the s..tones. T-They promised me"
What?
"Pete, please, don't do anything" Tony begs once more, too scared that his kid will get himself killed again.
But Peter doesn’t care to answer him (or can’t focus on anything more than ignoring the pain while he concentrates on his new task), instead the boy simply begins plucking the otherwise untouchable barehand stones off the gauntlet one by one as if it is the easiest thing in the freaking universe.
Tony looks around just to make sure everyone else is just as astonished as him. They are. Eyes wide and mouth open comically like in a cartoon.
When the teen has all six stones in one hand, the kid yanks the former infinity gauntlet off his arm while letting out a sigh of pure relief. Mentally, Tony ponders if it is possible that Peter is more stressed about having that near him, than by his hurt wounds. Not satisfied enough, the boy also rips off his full millionaire nanotechnology suit as if it is as thin as a paper sheet, putting the stones in direct contact with his bruised skin. Tony keeps himself from slapping away the jewels off his kid, the fear of it only hurting him further, mostly like the one reason for not doing it.
Except it doesn’t seem to hurt his son and Tony can only watch half scared half in awe that it is not causing Peter any pain whatsoever. In fact, for a brief moment nothing looks like it’s going to happen until the freaking stones double in number right at his kid's hands.
"Guys. I… I got back, just… As… We agreed", What the hell kind of agreement is that and why was it made in the first place?! "So please do… do what you promised, the way you... promised me... and you guys are free"
It is Capsicle "Holy fucking shit" that express everyone's exact thoughts to what happens next.
A chuckle is heard “Language, Steve”
Tony only knows how to blink at his kid, still too shocked and mumble incoherent sentences. "H-How, Peter…?"
The teen gives him a nervous and painful smile. "Haha... Surprise?"
‧₊˚🕷‧₊˚
Peter will not settle down with that arrangement because leaving Natasha there does not feel right, not even in a million years. Why the hell should she still need to sacrifice her soul when the goddamn Soul Stone will return to the exact same point in the timeline?! It makes no sense because Nat should be able to go back as much as Peter apparently has to.
And after everything he'd been through, the teen decides it won’t hurt to risk everything given the infinity stones insistence that Peter can’t be there —almost to the point they seem desperate for him to leave, as if his presence there really is against the rules of someone or something.
So even when there is silence for a good moment after he makes them an offer, he doesn’t falter.
He keeps hoping that the stones will agree.
"Are you speaking truthfully?" they hover in uncertainty.
Peter nods at them, still attached to Natasha and refusing to let go of her hand. "Yes, you guys can run some kind of lie detector if you want to. I promise. I'll go back, but only if you guys do these things"
"Peter-"
"No, Nat, I can't leave things like that. There's no need for some people to keep hurting"
The former spy tries again, "I've already died-"
Fortunately, the deliberation of the stones seems to end at the same time before she can even finish her sentence. "We have reached an agreement, Peter Benjamin Parker"
Peter finally, finally can smile in relief.
So, when he gets back and sees himself waking up from death still on his dad’s lap, even with his body hurting like hell in a massive bruise all over, he makes sure to keep part of the promise. Getting past Tony, Dr. Banner and Dr. Wizard, who are trying to rush him to medical care is hard, but Captain Marvel comes to his aid, and he cannot be more thankful to her at this moment.
After plucking them off the gauntlet and ripping it to shreds, the teen takes the stones in his bare hands, closes his eyes and makes the right wish this time around from the bottom of his heart. Peter does not need to see to know that it actually works, because he never doubted the stones' words: they told him they would do it and he believes them.
But he ends up looking, after all, because all the mix of crying, laughs and massive amounts of collective swearing of his childhood superheroes is simply too funny for him to miss.
“Language, Steve”
And that's how the Avengers and everyone else around them welcome back the former brainwashed villain Loki, the Black Widow Natasha Romanoff, an Asgardian guy named Heimdall, a blue guy named Youndu and Gamora.
With his eyes starting to become heavy, Peter decides that it is time to get some deserved sleep because there is no way Tony will let him get away from a harsh scolding when he fully recovers and Aunt May will probably hug him until he loses consciousness (then she’ll give him the earful of his life for being so reckless).
"Thank you, Peter Benjamin Parker. For letting us go"
Those words echo barely louder than a whisper and Peter is certain he’s not the only that hears it despite his enhanced hearing, but soon enough there are only two Infinity Stones left in the palm of his hand as the other four silently become translucent before disappearing —all of their six duplicates returning to their setpoints in timeline as to keep their reality stable.
Eyes heavy and body numb, he lets the Time stone make its way to Dr. Strange while the Mind stone stays within Peter even though Miss Maximoff is near him —it wouldn't be fair if she also didn't get her last loved one back but as Mr. Vision's android body is probably somewhere else (it has been 5 years, after all), his stone will patiently wait until it can find him under safe conditions.
"Peter?" Tony’s voice is small when he calls him, like he’s scared.
"... need sleep. Eat. Cannot heal without sleeping and eating a ton"
"Are you... kid, you're not going to do all this shit just to kill yourself again, right?"
"It's enough self-sacrifice for a day, Pete" he recognizes the gentle voice of Natasha next to him.
Any other day that had not taken so much energy from him, the teen would have given his dad a fond eye roll, but he is much too tired for it and Tony’s worry is somewhat heartwarming —so Peter can only give him a small chuckle instead.
"It's just sleep"
"Do you promise me that you are really not going to die on me for a third time? My heart can't take it anymore, bambino"
Feeling really exhausted, he just mumbles lazy words into Tony's shoulder, unable to move even an inch of the rest of his body as he is too comfortable and feeling safe against him.
"I promise, dad. Please let me sleep"
Peter hears some laughs before drifting to the land of dreams.
Well, it is not the kind of rest he expected to achieve today, but everything feels distinctively so worth it and right in the end that Peter can actually fall asleep in peace feeling sure that when he wakes up next time, everything will be just all right.
As it should be.
