Chapter 29
2016, date redacted
She was going to slap Steve in his stupid, perfect face. He had to gall to mess everything up, go against the Accords even though he was supposed to be retired, roped James and Sam into this, and was asking about consequences?
Ross was going to have them prosecuted, for fuck's sake.
No man was an island, Steve would never survive on the run by himself. A Captain always needed a team to work.
"Not getting the shield back huh?" Steve, no, Rogers, wryly asks.
"Well technically it belongs to the government, that and Sam's wings," Natasha coldly says, striding into the room looking like she was barely restraining herself.
"Damn that's cold," Sam jokes to ease the tension.
Natasha and Tony give each other a look.
"Warmer than jail," Tony replies as they get on to business.
Her conversation with T'Challa was insightful. The man was calming down, looked like he did regret a bit, but was still filled with a rage that was slowly simmering. He would survive, he would get over it. T'Challa did not strike Natasha as the kind of person who would become a shell of hate.
She stood behind the doors, watching as James, or Soldat, who knew, was detained and in a cell.
The psychiatrist went in.
And he started to talk about James's past.
Natasha had a bad feeling about this, something was going to happen.
"Security measures are in place?" Natasha confirms once again as the guards nod.
The power suddenly goes out.
Run, run, run little spider, the voice is her head whispers.
Natasha runs. She runs out of the room, she runs down the stairs.
Something's happening.
She runs and runs and runs.
Wait. Stop. Brain before biology, Natasha. Think.
It had to do with James. In that case, she had to be ready to fight.
Natasha slips into the killing calm as she readies her weapons, as she readies herself, a living, breathing weapon.
It took one to know another, Natasha thinks, as she rounds the corner and sees Soldat fighting Tony and Sharon.
Soldat throws Tony into the tables and Sharon goes to engage him.
Natasha runs and leaps onto Soldat's shoulders as Sharon goes flying.
Mind over biology. Breathe, fight for your life, move your piece.
Natasha smashes her elbow against Soldat's head as Soldat tries to shake her off.
Avoid the arm, avoid the arm-
Soldat throws her off and slams her to a table, choking her with the arm.
Romanoff, think-
"You could at least recognize me," Natasha breathes out.
And there. A flicker of awareness, then it was gone.
Shit, she should have tried Russian.
And then as the lights are blinking in and out, T'Challa comes in and kicks Soldat off her.
Natasha gasps for air.
There's arms around her, and she lashes out wildly.
'Woah woah there, Vodka Aunt, no need to kill me," Tony says.
Natasha opens her eyes and she blinks.
Its Tony.
"Barnes, do not let T'Challa kill him. Incapacitate only," Natasha breathes out, wincing slightly at the bruises forming around her neck. They may fade away in a few hours, but they still hurt.
Natasha was going to check on Maria when she remembered their little disagreement.
Maria and Natasha usually agreed on about everything. This, having no Maria to support her, was frightening. She had become over-dependent on the people around her.
Natasha sighs, hopping off the table.
2016, date redacted
Natasha was now chasing T'Challa. Great.
She stood at his car, waiting.
When he finally arrived, accompanied by guards, one of them was very agressive.
"Move, or you will be moved," she had demanded.
Natasha had stares right at her, and politely refused.
The guards were sizing her up.
Natasha brought her walls down a few notches, daring them to cross her, showed them the wild fury and tempest of flames that burned blue with their intensity.
A flame that lived through cold Russian winters. A controlled flame that burned hot and bright.
T'Challa called them off.
And Natasha talked.
2016, date redacted
Natasha was one second away from adding another mark to her ledger.
Steve Rogers, that bastard. James could not be helped if they were on the run, T'Challa had the resources, Tony had the resources, but all of them had grudges against James.
"You sure you want to punch your way out of this one?" Natasha sighs.
Men, foolish idiotic men, dragging her into their wars because of their selfishness and incapability to use words. At least Tony was better. Clint had become weak, soft, Natasha disapproved. What happened to the Clint Barton she knew? What happened to Maria? What happened to her?
Rogers was staring at Natasha in silence.
Tony, it seemed that he was finally tired of using words (she took it back, she really did, what was happening to them?), called out, and Steve's shield was snatched.
Natasha's mouth presses into a line as she throws herself into the fray.
2016, date redacted
Natasha climbs up the platform.
Oh gods.
What has she let the team fall apart to?
Fury had trusted her and Steve to keep this team together. Fury had entrusted her to help Tony Stark. To help Bruce Banner. She failed, again and again.
She's failed. Her chess pieces are nearly gone, only leaving the king and a last pawn. Her, a pawn.
And then there was Rhodey and Tony, firing missles, Vision and Wanda firing kill shots, the enlarging guy throwing a freaking gas truck at them, Rogers and Wilson fighting, and Clint, Laura would kill her.
Oh gods.
She's failed. T'Challa was still fighting too, and the little voice in Natasha's head was telling her to run girl run.
She's failed the Avengers, failed S.H.I.E.L.D., failed Fury, failed Maria, failed the world.
I followed my heart into the fire
Got burned, got broken down by desire
I tried, I tried but the smoke in my eyes
Left me blurry, blurry and blind
I picked all the pieces up off the ground
I've burned all my fingers but that's gone now
Got the glue in my hands I'm stickin' to the plan
Stickin' to the plan that says "I can"
Maria. Think about it, Natasha Romanoff.
Do anything at all
I can do anything at all
Natasha Romanoff is a phoenix who has risen from the flames.
Natasha Romanoff is someone who would not hesitate to defend those she loved, her family.
But if her family was shattered, which piece did she follow?
Natasha Romanoff is the glue. She is the adhesive. When glue hardened, it was hard to break. When the glue got old, it would snap.
Glue may be destroyed, but fire? Never, not as long as there were people with even a shred of humanity.
May the light guide you to your destiny.
May the sweet sound of singing lead you to your fate.
Time to see what her calling was.
This is my kiss goodbye
You can stand alone and watch me fly
'Cause nothing's keeping me down gonna let it all up
Come on and say right now, right now, right now
This is my big hello
'Cause I'm giving, never letting go
I can finally see, it's not just a dream
When you set it all free, all free, all free
You set it all free
(Oh oh oh)
(Oh oh oh)
(Oh oh oh)
Natasha Romanoff stands and makes her decision.
2016, date redacted
"Rhodey is likely to suffer some kind of paralysis," Tony says, and looks at her.
Natasha bites her lip.
"Steve isn't going to stop," she sighs.
"But you can. We don't need another Rhodey," Natasha says, eyes distant. Maria, she had done it, what did she do now? What did the lone wolf out in the world do now?
"You let them go!"
Natasha acknowledges this.
"Perhaps we played this wrong," Natasha admits.
There was a flash of shock, of betrayal on Tony's face as Natasha calculates.
"We"? Boy, it must be hard to shake the whole double agent thing, huh? It sticks in the DNA."
Natasha whipped her head around.
How dare he blame this on her-
"Are you incapable of letting go of your ego for one goddamn second?"
"T'Challa told Ross."
Natasha blew all her covers. She would need to run. Run girl, run.
"You have to watch your back," Natasha says, before leaving.
From the moment she stepped out of this building, Natasha Romanoff would not exist.
She would remake herself again. Black Widow. Natasha Romanoff was a wolf who had been excluded by her pack, by her own actions and theirs. Black Widow is the deadliest spider in the world, she will not die.
She runs into the shadows and disappears.