Rio de Janeiro, Brazil (16/03/2011)
They were expecting to be greeted by Mrs Dean, or possibly her husband, Frank. But when their chauffeur pushed open the doors to the large mansion, the agents were greeted by a girl, no older than ten.
“Can I take your hats?” she asked politely. Startled, Maria tugged her baseball cap off and clutched it in her hand.
“Uh, hi. We’re looking for the Deans?”
“It’s nice to meet you. My name is Karolina Dean. My mother’s busy right now, but she’ll be with you in a few moments.” Karolina reached out to take Maria’s hat, and she reluctantly let go.
“Hi, Karolina. How old are you?” This little girl unsettled her slightly. She was too neat, too polite, too perfect.
“I’m ten. I’ve just finished fourth grade.”
“In the US?” clarified Nat.
“Of course. We’re only here in the summer sometimes. I live in LA.” Karolina smiled, a spark in her eyes that did more to reassure Maria than all the politeness in the world. “I’ve got loads of friends at school. Their parents work with my mom!”
“Yeah?” asked Clint, grinning at the little girl.
“Yeah. My best friend is Chase. He’s funny. Everyone says we’re dating, but we’re not. Boys are gross.”
Maria and Nat shared a knowing look. “Yeah. Boys are pretty gross.”
“Karolina!” a sharp voice called. Maria looked up to see a woman descending the stairs. “Are you distracting our guests? I’m sorry about her. Go and do your homework, Karolina.” Karolina nodded, something flashing in her eyes, and ran off. The woman stuck out a hand to Clint. “I’m Leslie Dean. I was only expecting two of you.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry,” explained Maria. “My name’s Agent Hill. I’m actually taking my vacation time here, with these two, but their meeting with you was first on the agenda. I hope you don’t mind if I stay here while you have your meeting.”
“Of course not,” said Leslie, looking like she meant anything but. “We’d be happy to host any friends of SHIELD.”
“Natasha Romanoff, and this is Clint Barton,” said Nat, shaking Leslie’s hand. “We’d like to discuss how SHIELD can work in conjunction with your church, and how you could potentially be considered an asset to us.”
“Certainly,” said Leslie smoothly. “If you’d come through here, please. Julien, please show Agent Hill to the drawing room.” She led the other agents through a doorway, and the chauffeur tried to wave Maria through a different way.
“That’s okay, thank you,” said Maria. “I’ll just have a quick look around.” Julien looked reluctant, but Maria Hill was the deputy director of SHIELD. She could handle a chauffeur. She made her way through the corridor, pushing doors open. There were a couple of offices, a bathroom, and finally she pushed open the door of a small room decorated in pillows, blankets, and glitter. She couldn’t help a laugh of surprise.
Karolina turned around, alarm in her eyes. “You’re not supposed to be here.”
“That’s okay,” said Maria, shrugging. “I’m pretty important. I’m supposed to be anywhere I like.” She smiled at the little girl, who smiled hesitantly back. “Can I come in?”
“Okay,” nodded Karolina. “You can sit here.” She shifted a teddy bear off the chair next to her into her lap and Maria obediently sat down on the chair. “I’m supposed to be doing homework.”
“Can I help?” Maria offered. Karolina looked up, surprised.
“Maybe. I’m not good at maths. Are you?”
“I’m not awful,” she shrugged. “I used to tutor my friend Marian.”
“My parents want to get me a tutor,” admitted Karolina. “But they said maybe next year. Daddy said we should wait and let me be a kid first.”
“Your dad sounds smart,” smiled Maria.
“He is. He’s nicer than my mom. My mom’s kind of bossy. But she loves me.”
“Yeah,” said Maria softly. “Hey, what’s that bracelet? That looks pretty cool.”
“It’s a church bracelet,” said Karolina proudly, showing it off. “It means I’m part of the church. I never take it off.”
“Never?” Maria asked, taken aback. “Woah.”
“Nico says it’s dumb,” said Karolina sadly. “They don’t get the church. Eiffel said it was a cult.”
“Do you care what Nico or Eiffel says?” asked Maria.
“Not Eiffel. But Nico’s my friend. I like her lots. She’s cooler than me, and super pretty. I really want her to like me too.”
“I know she does,” promised Maria, smiling. “She’s your friend. That means she likes you lots.”
“I hope so,” said Karolina. “Are the other agents your friends?”
Maria laughed. “Yeah, I guess so. My best friend’s called Phil. Clint’s my friend too.”
“What about the other girl?” asked Karolina curiously.
Maria breathes in. “Uh, Nat’s actually my girlfriend.”
Karolina looked blank. Maria sighed. “You know how people think you and Chase are dating?” Karolina nodded. “Well, me and Nat actually are dating.”
Karolina looked deeply taken aback. “You can do that? Two girls?”
“Yeah.” Maria swallowed. “Has your mom ever said anything about that?”
“No,” said Karolina, and Maria let out a breath. “What’s it called?”
“Liking another girl? It’s called being gay, or lesbian, or bisexual,” explained Maria.
“Oh.” Karolina suddenly looked uncomfortable.
“What’s wrong?” Maria was instantly on edge. She knew she was probably reading too much into things — that her own experience was bleeding through into this. But if there was anything going on with Karolina, she wanted to be the one to see it.
“My mom told me I wasn’t allowed to hang out with my friend Ellie any more. She said people would think I was a lesbian.”
Maria breathed a curse under her breath. “Did you like Ellie?”
“Yeah. I wanted to be her friend. I wanted her to pay attention to me.”
“Look, Karolina, there’s nothing wrong with that, okay? No matter what your mom says. But please, don’t say anything to your mom about this. I… This can be our little secret, okay? Keep it safe for me.” Keep yourself safe. As quick as she could, Maria dropped the subject, and turned the conversation to the pie charts lying on Karolina’s desk.
Maria leaned her head on Nat’s shoulder. They were sitting on deck chairs beside the hotel pool, watching Clint messing about in the water. Nat’s arm was around Maria, and she sighed.
“What’s wrong?” asked Nat, dropping her arm and twisting to face Maria. Maria shook her head, trying to clear her mind.
“You know that little girl we met today?”
“The creepy perfect church girl? Yeah. What about her?”
“I hung out with her while you were talking to Leslie Dean. We had some enlightening conversations.” Maria recounted her conversation to Nat, who looked gradually more and more resigned. “She might not be gay. But she shouldn’t have to live with a mom like that. I mean, what if her mom’s really dangerous?”
“She runs a church, Mash,” said Nat softly. “I’m not saying she’s not homophobic. But she preaches non-violence.”
“Yeah, well, so does Christianity,” snapped Maria. Nat gently touched her shoulder and she flinched away.
“This matters to you, doesn’t it?” she asked.
“Don’t pretend you haven’t read my file,” Maria scowled. She turned away, eyes narrowed.
“Okay, yeah, I’ve read your file. But you can’t tell me you haven’t read mine, or Phil’s, or Clint’s, or the non-redacted parts of Fury’s. That’s not what this is about, Maria. I get that you’re on edge. But there’s no reason to push me away.”
Nat’s words, although firm, had no malice behind them. Maria felt herself softening, and she turned back to face her, her eyes prickling embarrassingly.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Nat’s voice was quiet, but there was a hint of a small smile. “Do you want to talk about it? Even though you know I know?”
Maria laughed wetly. “It just— I don’t want her to go through what I did. My dad—” She shook her head, tears spilling down her cheeks. “I left for the army for a reason. My dad hated me. I was afraid of him my whole life. I never came out to him because I was— I was afraid of what he’d do to me.” Almost unconsciously, her fingers curled around her upper arms, tracing the tiny burn scars his cigarettes had left.
“Masha, I’m so sorry,” whispered Nat. She gently reached out her hand, allowing Maria to take it and squeeze it.
“I just wish there was something I could do to make life better for Karolina,” admitted Maria, wiping the tears off her cheeks. “I don’t want anyone to go through what I did.”
“Did you give her your card?” asked Nat. Maria nodded. “Well, then, you’ve done something. If her mother ever does something, if she’s afraid, there’s someone she can call. You’re an option, for her. Did you have options?”
Maria shook her head.
“You’re a wonderful person, Masha, for caring so much about her,” said Natasha. “Hey, come here. It’s okay. I’m really proud of you for telling me about it. That was really brave.”
“What,” laughed Maria. “Telling you I was such a pathetic kid my own dad hit me? That’s not brave, Nat.”
“Yes. It is.” Nat’s voice was hard. “If I ever got to meet the man who made you think that, I don’t know what I’d do. But you survived the one person in your life who was supposed to protect you scarring you. You came out the other side. And you’re a pretty damn awesome person. Despite what he did to you.”
Maria hummed, her head buried in Nat’s chest. She wasn’t sure she agreed. But she was tired, and Nat was warm and soft and it was easier to just try and believe her.
“I’m proud of you, Masha. You’re the bravest person I know.”