Chapter 4
She didn’t know how long she’d been out. She didn’t really even remember passing out. Her head was throbbing, but at least she had some of her strength back. She was on her feet fast, grabbing her weapons and strapping them on, moving to leave.
(Y/N) didn’t have time to come up with a plan. Truth be told, she didn’t even know if she had time to worry about her weapons. She needed to get out before it was too late. Before they caught up and took her back.
She nudged the curtain aside and peeked out the window. Nobody seemed to have followed her. That alone was suspicious, but she wasn’t going to overthink the good things she had. She slipped out the door and crept around the back of the building. She kept close to the wall, hiding in the shadows and doing her best to avoid being seen until she had nowhere else to hide. She needed to get as far from town as her body could take her.
She kept her head hung low, her hood pulled up. Not many people dared to look her in the eye. Even when she was trying to make herself small, she was a sight to behold; an unrivaled force. Pedestrians scampered out of her way as she marched down the streets of town.
No matter the persona, the dangerous energy she radiated, she was nothing more than a terrified little girl. She was in a panicked tizzy, her head was everywhere else — anywhere else — as she searched for her path to freedom.
The team had just arrived in the last town the Bloodred Princess had been spotted in. She was damn near a shadow, but Bucky knew the way she thought. It helped having him on their side. She had caused quite a commotion and then fallen off the radar of the locals. They found her in a park, tucked away at the edge of a secluded grove of trees.
Once he had seen her, Bucky wasn’t hearing anything Steve was saying. She was him; alone and afraid, her head on a constant swivel. She was like a cornered animal, and she was so much more dangerous that way.
“You with us Buck?” Steve’s voice cut through his thoughts. He dragged a hand through his hair. He wasn’t with them at all, he was right there at her side. But that wasn’t the answer they wanted. All it would do was earn him a talk he didn’t want to have, a lecture that he didn’t want to hear.
“Nat, Sam, you’re taking the lead. Me and Bucky will stick close by. If you need backup I’m there.” His eyes locked onto Bucky. It was almost comforting to see that familiar look of determination on Steve’s face. Almost. “Bucky is our last resort. She’s not like anything we’ve faced before.”
“Come on, Cap. We dealt with grandpa here, how bad can she be?” Sam joked, nodding towards Bucky. It was an attempt to lighten the mood. Everyone could feel Bucky drifting away, and they’d be lying if they said it didn’t make them a little nervous. Steve just gave him a stern look.
“I’m going in. Maybe we don’t have to fight our way through this one.” Natasha said, turning on her heel to march towards the ex-Hydra soldier. Steve protested, but she didn’t even flinch. There was no stopping her once she set her mind to something.
She walked closer, trying not to seem like a threat. Much easier said than done when it came to Natasha Romanoff. And the skittish young woman seemed to sense that. Her hand flew to her gun and she jumped to her feet. Nat didn’t falter, just held up her hands in surrender. She worked well under pressure.
“I just wanna talk to you.” She stated. The girl’s eyes narrowed. Nobody ever just wanted to talk. She backed up a couple steps, and Natasha took it as a sign to give her some space.
(Y/N) searched for an escape. She’d have to run, and chances were she’d end up even more turned around than she already was. She hadn’t spotted backup for the woman in front of her, but she was sure there were agents waiting in the wings. Nobody in their right minds would send an agent to take her down alone. Not even Hydra was that brave, and they certainly weren’t that reckless.
“You’re Hydra. But they use you like a toy, don’t they? They don’t care about you.” Natasha began, but a storm of anger swirled in (Y/N)’s eyes, her entire body tensed like a lion prepared to pounce.
“I am not Hydra.” Her voice thundered. “I’m not Hydra, I won’t go back there.”
“We don’t want you to go back, (Y/N). We want to help.” Natasha pressed forward again, but this time the other agent stayed firmly rooted in place.
She knows who you are, (Y/N). She hasn’t tried to hurt you. The voice in her head tried to talk her down from that dangerous ledge once again, but her heart was racing, her entire head was filling with a panicked fog.
“Don’t say that name. Stay away from me.” Natasha was closing in now, and the panic was nearly overwhelming. She clung desperately to what calm she had left, begging her wits to stay about her.
“I’m afraid I can’t leave you alone.” Nat murmured. “We need your help, (Y/N). And you need ours.”
She reached to touch (Y/N)’s arm, and the Hydra agent gave way. She pushed back everything, her self control, her common sense, and melted into her training.
Her hand wrapped around Natasha’s wrist in a bruising grip. With a shuffle of her feet, and a shift of her weight, she pushed Natasha over her shoulder with superhuman strength, sending the assassin flying into a tree. She groaned pushing herself off the ground and spun to press herself against the other side of the trunk. Maybe they couldn’t talk themselves out of this one.
Gunshots rang out as (Y/N) fired several shots at the tree, slowly closing the distance between them. You aren’t a murderer. Think about this! Her mother’s voice was desperate, trying to remind her of who she really was. But this wasn’t quite her, and it wasn’t quite the Bloodred Princess. No, this was a terrified girl protecting herself the only way she knew how.
She swung around, gun leveled to shoot through the other woman’s chest, but she faltered. There was nobody there. She spun around, her throat growing tight. She was met with a kick to the jaw. Her entire head rattled, and she had to catch herself against the tree. She wasn’t going to let it distract her.
She blocked another kick and threw a flurry of enraged blows. One after another was blocked or dodged with cat-like agility until she finally managed to land a hit. A crushing kick against Natasha’s chest sent her tumbling through the air and into a bench that shattered under the force of her landing. She groaned.
“A little help here, boys?” She snapped into their comms, already back on her feet as the ex-Hydra agent moved closer, but she didn’t make it very far.
Sam swooped from the air, both of his feet landing hard against her chest. (Y/N) tumbled a decent ways away, stopping with a groan. She slammed her fist into the ground with a frustrated grumble before pushing herself up again.
She pulled another gun from her holster, leveling it at her newest target’s head. As her finger found the trigger, the weapon was knocked from her grip. It skittered away, and Natasha wrapped herself around the girl’s body, a flurry of limbs that wrestled her to the ground. She squirmed, back pressed to uneven dirt and a knee nestled against her throat.
She fought to find purchase against the ground, gripping the trained assassin and managing to force her aside. With the momentum of the attack (Y/N) flew to her feet. In an instant, she was turned and sprinting towards Sam with an angry frustration swirling in her gaze. He made to take to the sky, but her hand found his ankle and dragged him back to solid ground. She clung to one of the mechanical wings, jabbing an elbow towards his face and catching him in the nose.
There was another attempt at escape on his part, but she tightened her grip on his wing, tearing it from the suit with ease. She pivoted, slamming the piece into his head and forcing him to fall to his knees. She threw the useless wing aside and backed away.
“I’m grounded,” Sam groaned to his team, scrambling for some semblance of shelter. “We might be needing that backup, Cap.”
Nobody had noticed the way (Y/N)’s hands trembled, of the way she so desperately avoided killing, even when her instincts begged her to. All she wanted was to get out, to be free. She turned and raced away, sprinting hard and fast. She tried to listen past the rush of blood in her ears for the sound of someone chasing after her. But there wasn’t anything to hear, no sign that she was being pursued until a firm grip on her arm stopped her in her tracks. She spun, expecting one of her previous opponents but being faced with someone entirely new.
“Leave me alone,” She wailed at the top of her lungs, her throat burning with the scratch of the scream. Her eyes darted around wildly. She needed to get away, she needed out. She couldn’t go back. “Just leave me alone, let me go.”
The sheer power behind the agony laced scream caught Steve off guard. He’d expected blank eyed stoicism like when he’d first encountered Bucky. But this was entirely different. She was falling apart. His grip loosened just a little, and that was all she needed.
She slipped her arm free, winding up and landing a blow to his jaw. She hit him several more times, catching his cheekbone, and feeling his nose crack under her fist. Then she kicked against the side of his knee and watched him crumple to the ground before she took off again.
She ducked to safety behind a parked car, running her hands over her face and trying in vain to regain her grasp of her common sense. She needed to find a way out that didn’t rely on brute force because for once, she didn’t think she could fight her way out of this one.
She didn’t get the chance to think too much more on the matter. Steve caught sight of her again, closing in. Her panic returned. She rolled aside, leaping to her feet. She launched herself at him, using the car as a springboard. She hooked her legs around his neck, twisting her body in the air to drag him to the ground. She landed on top of him, digging her knee into his shoulder and pressing the blade of her knife to his throat.
“Who are you?” She demanded. When he didn’t answer, she pressed the blade harder against his skin, a few drops of blood gathering against glinting metal. “Who are you? What do you want with me?”
“My name’s Steve.” The man finally answered. She let up on the knife. She’d hit him pretty good from what she could tell. He had a split lip, and his nose was bleeding pretty well. “I’m trying to take down Hydra, but I need your help.”
That was enough. She shook her head with a humorless laugh. He was lying through his teeth. This was all some cruel joke, a cover story to win her trust, and it wasn’t going to work. Nobody could take down Hydra, nobody was crazy enough to try. Besides, how could anybody possibly know that she was Hydra’s little toy soldier unless they were Hydra themselves? It was impossible.
“You’re lying. You’re one of them!” In her moment of absolute terror, Steve pulled the knife from her hand. He dragged her off of him and shoved her with enough force to send her rolling. She glared and pulled one of her throwing knives from its place. She threw it and watched it whiz past his ear and embed itself in the side of a car. She threw another, then another. The first dug into his thigh, the other in his shoulder. Maybe she could get out of this after all.
Bucky couldn’t watch his friends get beaten to a pulp anymore. She was destroying them, and he recognized the fear in her eyes. They weren’t going to stop her by doing whatever the hell they were trying to do. Nobody was going to win this fight, he had to help. Who exactly he was helping he still wasn’t sure.
“I’m going in.” He stated. Nat protested in his ear, but he wasn’t about to listen to her. As he ran towards his best friend, he thought about his role in the encounter. He’d have to fight her, and the thought made him sick. He knew her fighting style, a strange sort of mix between his sheer force and Natasha’s acrobatics. If anyone could take her down, it was him.
But when he saw her, his mind seemed to freeze. She was bloody and breathless, her (Y/E/C) eyes were wide and wild. Steve was there too, bleeding and looking a bit shocked at just how desperately she fought against him.
She saw Steve looking past her, saw the wave of relief that seemed to ease through him. She spun on her heel, drawing her gun. Then she locked eyes with him.
All of the emotions that she’d only just begun to feel again washed through her. Dread, relief, anger, joy, excitement, and then, strongest of all, exhaustion. Her gun fell from her fingertips, and her legs went weak under her weight. Tears pricked behind her eyes. Her heart was in her throat, and her chest felt too heavy for her lungs to expand properly.
‘He’s here!’ She thought. Then, ‘Oh god...he’s here’
“No,” She whimpered, scrambling to back away from him on shaky limbs only to end up at Steve’s feet. Her bloody and bruised face was streaked with tears. She stared up at him, the winter soldier, with watery eyes, and he just stared back. “Please…”
The door creaked open, and four more Hydra agents marched in, guns at the ready. She was standing at the far wall, her own security detail standing watch. She lifted her gaze from the ground, finally looking at him. There he was, the fist of Hydra. Their beloved soldier. He was the entire reason she existed. She was a safety, his replacement in case of emergency.
She could feel her head beginning to buzz, thoughts popping up just out of reach, questions forming about everything. About why she did what she did, and why she didn’t do anything. She eyed the man, but he wasn’t looking at her. His dark hair hung around his face, and his features were obscured. His hand came up, taking off the glasses that shielded stunning blue eyes. Their eyes locked onto one another, and for a moment she could have sworn she saw him falter, like someone else had risen to the surface for a moment. His other hand tore his mask off, and (Y/N) caught the glint of metal.
Even in the massive training arena, she felt as if she were being suffocated. They were given their orders. They’d fight until one of them was called back, until one of them was dancing too close to the edge of death for their liking. They called it training. She’d never been allowed to train with him before.
She didn’t have to think. She lunged for him, throwing a punch towards his jaw. He didn’t flinch, just caught her fist and twisted her arm down. She growled to hide the pain. She maneuvered her body, practically wrapping herself around his arm and forcing the both of them to the ground.
For what could have been hours, the fight seemed fair, but soon enough her stamina was slipping. Her blocking was hasty, her punches were sloppy. It hardly took any effort on his part to get her pinned. Her legs were trapped under his weight, and his metal hand gripped so tight around her throat that her vision tried to go dark, her breath came in desperate wheezes. She clawed at the smooth metal of his arm, but to no avail. His fist pulled back, and she squeezed her eyes shut as it flew towards her face.
A soft groan left (Y/N)’s lips as she came to. Her entire body ached and her eyes fluttered open. The lights practically blinded her, and she moved to rub at her eyes. It was half a moment before she realized that her wrists were cuffed to the chair she’d been out in. She thrashed desperately and tears blurred her vision. The metal dug her skin raw until she finally gave up.
She was back, they’d gotten her. She should have realized that she couldn’t really escape. It was idiotic to run. She choked back a sob. She was so weak. Maybe if she hadn’t been she could have broken herself free. But she couldn’t, and it wouldn’t have done any good. She couldn’t fight her way out. Not again.
She slumped back in the chair and closed her eyes. Terror was swirling in her stomach and her head pounded and ached to an extent she couldn’t remember feeling before. She couldn’t possibly keep fighting She couldn’t keep fighting for Hydra, taking innocent lives. But she couldn’t keep this up, constantly fighting her way towards a freedom she couldn’t guarantee she’d find. She sniffled and ignored the way tears were streaming down her face.
Even with the door between them, Wanda could feel her panic. It was familiar, so much like how it had felt when she first met Bucky; heavy, and frantic, and so devastating. It tore through her chest. She remembered her own time with Hydra. It was hell, she’d been out through endless torture, treated like an animal. But at least she had chosen to be there.
“She’s afraid.” She stated, looking over to where Steve was watching her with his arms crossed and his usual stern look. “Afraid, and weak. It’s like she’s fighting with herself.”
The enhanced woman couldn’t help the feeling in her gut. She didn’t like being in other people’s heads. It was invasive, and hadn’t (Y/N) had enough people messing with her mind?
“Think you can talk to her?” Natasha’s voice startled her a little, but she nodded. She had sworn she wouldn’t use her powers on her, but maybe she could talk to her, calm her down. It was worth a try.
Wanda opened the door and looked over the woman who sat locked into the chair. (Y/N) however didn’t look up, she just kept her eyes shut tight. Part of her was too afraid of what she’d see, but the other part just didn’t have the energy.
“You’re awake. We were beginning to worry.” She smiled, but the other woman simply curled her hands into fists. “My name is Wanda. Hydra had me too. And my brother.”
That seemed to connect. Her eyes opened and she lifted her head up slowly to examine Wanda, who let a swirl of red energy spark from her fingertips.
“They did terrible things to you. Worse than anything they did to me. But we won’t hurt you. We can help. They’ll help you just like they helped me.”
(Y/N)’s eyes were cold, and despite the tears glistening in them, she refused to show her fear.
“So that’s the big plan? Send another one of Hydra’s dogs in here to remind me of just how good it is being controlled?” She snapped, fighting again against her restraints and choking back tears. “Fuck Hydra, fuck all of you.”
Her voice rang out through the room. She struggled helplessly to free herself. The metal creaked with the effort to hold her back. She let out an agonized scream, finally giving up yet again and letting the tears run again.
“We aren’t Hydra. We want to help you get them out of your head.” Wanda stayed as calm as she could. “We got your injuries fixed up. You should be feeling better soon. I’ll bring food. Just...try to rest. We can talk when you feel better.”
She slipped out the door, and (Y/N) sat in the deafening silence of the room. She didn’t know what to believe, didn’t know what was true. She didn’t know if she could trust these people, Hydra or not. And most of all, she didn’t know how long she could keep it all up.
Rest, love. Rest, and it will all work out.
Ever since they’d gotten back to their compound, Bucky had disappeared. All he could hear was the way she pleaded with him. She was afraid of him, just like everyone else. And God almighty it hurt. He could have sworn he felt everything fall away right then and there. In her eyes, he was no different than the monsters that had taken her life away from her.
Natasha had chewed him out the entire way home, but he did a good job of tuning her out. He didn’t need to hear about how reckless he’d been, how he could’ve messed it all up with the way he froze when he saw her. She wanted him to stay out of it, she was mad that Steve had even recruited him for the mission to begin with. But the thing was, there was no way he could stay out of it. Something in him knew better. She needed him, or she would eventually, and he was going to be there no matter what.
Steve on the other hand wanted to use her reaction against her. He wanted Bucky to be in there, to get her to give them something. He refused. He couldn’t do that, couldn’t break her down the way they would. He couldn’t stand the thought of even being there.
He’d locked himself in his room, he hadn’t even waited to see what they did with her. He kicked off his boots and collapsed onto his bed. He didn’t have any clue what time it was, no idea how long he’d laid there with his thoughts swirling hopelessly in his head.
A sharp knock came, and Bucky dug the heels of his palms against his eyes.
“Yeah, come in.” The door clicked open, and Bucky kept his hands pressed to his eyes. He knew it was Steve.
“She’s shutting down. She thinks we’re Hydra.” Steve informed him. The brunette sat up and dragged his hands through his hair.
“I don’t want to know.” He half snapped at his best friend who held his hands up in surrender.
“Figured you might be interested. You really seemed intent on helping her. What’s going on with you?” Steve moved to sit at the edge of the bed.
“Do you really think this is helping her?” Bucky shook his head. No, Steve wasn’t stupid, but maybe he was too laser-focused on Hydra to see that they weren’t acting much better than them. “How are we any different than them? We kidnap her, force her to give us what we want, and tell her that it’s all for the best.”
He slammed his fist into the mattress and groaned. He knew she must be falling apart, and he couldn’t help her. She saw him as a threat, and who could blame her…
“We’re just trying to get answers. Nobody is hurting her.” Steve argued.
“Maybe not physically.” He scoffed. “I’m tired, I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
Steve tried to keep the conversation going, to get his best friend to talk to him. But he wasn’t playing along, and Steve knew better than to try and force it. So he stood up and headed for the door.
Once he was alone again, Bucky leaned back again and closed his eyes. He’d expected Steve to deal with things a bit more calmly. Or at least have tried to. But maybe that wasn’t an option, but he should have worked harder to keep her safe. Maybe he wasn’t able to, maybe he never had been. But he had never tried hard enough. So how could he forgive himself?
It was Wanda who came back. She brought a plate with her. A couple sandwiches and a side of applesauce. It wasn’t much, but it was more than (Y/N) had managed in her past few days. Maybe more than she’d ever had. She couldn’t quite remember.
“When I leave they’ll let you out of those cuffs.” Wanda sat the plate down and smiled at the woman. “We don’t want you to feel like a prisoner. We don’t want anyone getting hurt.”
“I am a prisoner.” (Y/N) stated. Wanda had nearly made it to the door, but she turned to look back at her anyway. “I am your prisoner. You have me locked to a chair, inside a locked room, inside a locked building. I’m not free.”
Wanda pressed her lips together. It was true, and she couldn’t argue it. But it was for the right reasons, wasn’t it? Surely once (Y/N) calmed down she would be able to see that.
“We need your help. Eat, rest. Someone will be back in the morning.” Wanda turned against and slipped out the door. There was a long moment before the cuffs clicked open. She flexed her wrists and tried to ignore the glare of raw skin.
She hesitated for a long moment before scrambling out of the chair. She pulled the plate protectively towards her. She finally had food, she had safety — no matter how temporary. Most importantly, she had until morning to figure out just how she was going to deal with it all.