Harden my Heart
May spends the evening reminiscing. She has a glass of red wine in her hands and she's stretched along the width of her couch. The Backstreet Boys play on her phones speaker and she sings along, pausing only to take a sip and turn the page of her catalog. She had gotten the idea in her head to knit a sweater-and-hat ensemble matching Peters from when he was a baby, but realized soon after that she can't knit for shit. Hence, the catalog.
A knock startles her and she reaches for her phone with a furrowed brow. It's a quarter past eleven, and Peter is spending the night at Neds. There's a second knock and she silences her music. She swings her legs over the couch, setting her glass on the coffee table as she gets up.
"Coming!" She calls, and checks the peephole, a shiver running down her back as she sees Harley. She unlocks the door quickly and feels her heart swell at the sight of him. There are tear stains on his cheeks, and his eyes are still glassy, like he may cry at any given moment. He has a barely warm enough sweater thrown over a grease-stained T-Shirt, and a backpack hangs against his leg.
He sniffs. "Hi May." She blinks and stands aside.
"Come on in baby," She says, face feeling flushed as confusion begins overtaking her. Harley nods and sidesteps into the apartment. The back of his neck is exposed with goosebumps. She locks the door behind him and turns, watching as Harley gingerly moves around to the couch.
May follows, and sits across from him tentatively. She gnaws on her lip for a moment, determining the best course of action.
"Peter's not here-" She starts, but Harley cuts her off with a nod. As his head bobs, she sees gathering tears in the pools of his eyes.
"I know, and I-I'm sorry, but-" May shushes him, standing and moving so they're hip to hip.
"Don't apologize; you're always welcome," She says, and Harley sniffs again, nodding stiffly. "I am curious as to what you're doing with that backpack though." She broaches, and Harley looks at it.
"Tony and I got in a fight," He whispers, and his shoulders quiver. May sags.
"Oh, Harley..." She says, brushing a hand through his hair, and the boy cries.
"I-I got a bad mark on my Spanish test, and he-he just kept saying how disappointed he was and-and I just snapped May," He sobs, curling into himself more and more until he's practically in her lap. One of her hands grips his shoulder, the other combs through her hair. Her phone pings suddenly, and she casts a single glance to it.
A text from Pepper reads 'please tell me hes with you'. Reaching past Harley's head, May types a quick confirmation before switching it back off.
"Shhh," May soothes.
"I told him he wasn't my Dad and God, May I've never seen him like that-" Harley chokes on a sob and sits up so quick May worries he gave himself whiplash. "But it wasn't true, May, he's my Dad and now he's gonna send me back-" Harleys voice breaks, and May feels transformed back to the night of the Ferry, when Peter had said he'd lost the internship. She leans forward, pressing a fierce kiss against Harleys forehead, and holds his head in her hands.
"Harley, baby; Tony's not gonna send you back," May briefly wonders when this boy became her boy, the same she ponders about Peter. "He loves you, and this was nothing more than a blip on the radar." She says. "It happens to everyone - Peter even said the same thing to me a few years back." Harley blinks at her. Big and childlike.
"Really?" He sniffs, and May nods, heart hammering only slightly, and she wonders for a moment how tipsy she is.
"It was just a few days after Ben died, and he broke into tears as soon as he realized what he'd said." She lets the words sink in. "And just like back then; it wasn't because I told him to change his clothes. It was because he was in mourning." Harley has stopped crying, and he looks back at her wordlessly. He takes in a shaky breath.
"It's the baby." He whispers, and sniffs before wiping his face with his sleeve. "It's just - I had a baby sister." He says, and Mays heart breaks. Harleys breath hitches as he continues. "And I'm not - I can't - It's like I'm stuck while everyone else is going a hundred miles an hour and I can't-" May shushes him and pulls him against her chest, not even realizing she had begun to rock back and forth like when she soothed Peter as a baby.
"It's okay," She whispers - "It'll be okay; It's not your fault" - until they both fall asleep.