Death's favorite child

Tony’s first death was more of a surprise to him. A few minutes earlier and he was joking in the fun-vee with some soldiers and in the span of a second, everything went awry.

A bomb exploded. An ambush, he thought. He asked for a gun to the soldier next to him, only to witness his death.

He succeeded in getting out of the car and crawled to the nearest hiding point. A boulder. He tripped and fell. A bomb landed next to him. The last think he saw was the logo of his own company.

Darkness.

Before he was tortured, waterboarded, required to build a bomb, and a little before he met Yinsen, Tony had died. He couldn’t tell if it’d been a matter of seconds, minutes or hours, only that nothing hurt anymore.

They cut him open, had their hands deep in his chest, and his heart stuttered. They installed the battery, and yet, he didn’t even register the pain from all of it. No. His eyes, wide open, stared at two people: bobba and mammina. He cried at the sight of them, holding each of his hand and singing to him. He couldn’t believe it. They were there and they could physically touch him.

Tears ran down his temples to his hair. So, that’s the end, he thought peacefully. Pepper, Rhodey, Darius, Ahmaud, Kareem, Joseph, Janice…

“’m sorry”, he croaked.

It wasn’t the first Death was at his doorstep, silently waiting for him to open. He had many low points where he stood, hand on the doorknob ready to go. This time, it wasn’t his doing. The door opened from outside.

His heart stopped.

The room swirled and darkened. He was flying in a cocoon. Everything felt warm and soft. Tony closed his eyes and basked in the feeling of peace.

The first thing he noticed was the smell. Fresh grass, apples and cinnamon.

The second thing was the softness under his head.

The third, the sound of a river and someone humming above him. Then, realization downed him. He was dead. He felt no dread, no relief at that thought. It was weird. He tried to think of Howard. No anger, no sadness. He made a list of everyone close to him and only love spurted from his heart. He still had his memories. Howard’s abuse was still present in his head and yet, he didn’t react at all like usual. He didn’t need a drink or losing himself in his lab. All he needed was to let go…

“What a handsome man you have become, my Tesero.” A voice he hadn’t heard in a decade muttered softly above him.

Tony clenched his fists and shook his head vehemently. It couldn’t be true, it couldn’t be true, he repeated silently. He was sure, when he’d open his eyes, he’d be alone or worse, he’d see Howard and Maria standing in front of him. If Hell existed, it was a place where Tony should be.

A soft hand pressed his cheeks, then forehead.

“You do know that he can’t be sick, Hun’”

Tony choked up. Nononono…it couldn’t be happening. It had to be a trick, maybe from the Devil. Because mammina and babbo couldn’t be in Hell. It was impossible.

“Well, I don’t know. I’m still not an expert in these kinds of cases. But…he is not supposed to be here.”

“And how do you know that? Did a little bird tell you that?”

“I can still sock you in the face, my dear Husband,” she replied through gritted teeth.

“Hm.” He replied petulantly.

“Dying really did a number on you! Can’t you be nice, for a second?”

“I was nice during our whole marriage, and you left me…to raise those demons’ children, you called angels,” he screamed.

Mammina sighed.

“You really can’t let that go? I didn’t choose to die. And remember you were the one who fustigated me when I was exhausted at the end of the day after educating OUR kids and going to work. You were the one who told me, ‘I could raise them all by myself just fine. I don’t know what you’re complaining for.’ You brought that on yourself.”

Babbo groaned and mumbled something under his breath.

“Yeah, I thought so…”

Tony didn’t let his guard down even though the banter made him giggle. It reminded him too much of all the times they used to argue about trivialities. At the end they always made up. always. He felt something soft and pillory pressed against his forehead. Warm air caressed his face.

“Is he dead?” Babbo asked abruptly. There was now a small weight on Tony’s legs. He tried to relax but couldn’t help but tense. It reminded him of his little niece and nephews. The warmth, the weight and the little wriggling, everything reminded him of a child. But…none of them died…right? It couldn’t be real…it couldn’t be real…

“No. Yes. Not really. I don’t know. Do I look like God?”

Babbo didn’t reply. That was a win for Mammina. Tony had never seen her lose a fight when God’s or his children were concerned.

“Are you ready to open your eyes, Cinderella, or will you pretend to sleep forever?”

Tony scrunched his nose and opened one eyelid. The pensive face of mammina was scrutinizing his face. She raised an eyebrow and smiled softly. He opened the other eye and jumped on her. She didn’t even budge but accepted the embrace as forceful as him. He sniffed her perfume, tears trickling down his cheeks

“There, there, my little Tonio, it’s okay.”

“Don’t lie to the poor lad, this ain’t okay, at all.”

“Cameron! You really are on a roll. It is not my fault that you pissed off a cherub and got changed into one for a day. I told you, he was one of God’s servant. You should have been more polite.”.

“I only said he looked chubby!” Cameron cried, dramatically. “Who gets offended when being called chubby? They are literally babies!”

“And now you are one, so how does it feel, chubby baby.”

Cameron wailed loudly, feet stumping on the grass. Tony used the distraction to look around. He spotted a river on their left, Mammina was sitting against a tree and talking to…Tony eyes widened, and a rough laugh escaped his opened mouth as his eyes finally set on his babbo.

“Babbo! You are a chubby baby!” he exclaimed, in shock.

Said Babbo wailed louder. He was sitting on his legs, in the body of a 2-year-old baby and wearing a kind of drape. He had two small multicolor wings which looked like stained glass. So, the extra weight was him. As a child.

“You see you don’t like it, either. Maybe next time, you won’t talk about anyone’s body.”

Cameron waved his arms in precise movement and a few sparks appeared, before dying. He threw himself on the floor and rolled on his back, his arms and legs moving erratically. His wails grew louder if that was possible.

“I can’t even curse him for his afront!”

Mammina rolled her eyes. Tony looked at her scared. What kind of acid trip was he on? Was that Hell? A big trip where nothing made sense? He shook his head and settled in mammina’s arms.

“Don’t listen to this fool, Cucciolo, dying didn’t make him more mature, I’m afraid, he lost his brain.”

She gazed down and gasped at his chest. Tony followed her eyes and saw blood pouring out of his t-shirt. He couldn’t even feel pain. It felt weird to know that he should be suffering but didn’t. How did they not notice the blood? How did he not notice the vital liquids escaping his body quickly, tainting at the same, mammina?

“Oh Tony, what’s happening?”

“Bomb.”

A few flaps of wings and he finally noticed her own set. They were huge and gorgeous. The color was a deep blue midnight. They looked shiny and soft. As she opened them, he saw two golden circle, representing an ouroboros (snake biting its own tail), on each wing. He raised a hand to caress them. Yep. They felt as soft as he thought.

“Hey! Mine are better than hers,” Cameron complained.

Tony chuckled. He was now so tired. His eyelids blinked slowly. As he caressed Cameron’s wings, he expressed the absurdity of the situation and whether it was his own tormented mind, which created that scenery.

“You got a family?” Mammina suddenly asked.

“Yes, and I will see them when I leave here, and you?” Cameron asked.

“No,” Mammina replied solemnly, with a hint of sadness.

“So, you’re a man who has everything…and nothing.” Cameron concluded.

As darkness came over him, he heard them telling him they loved him.

Pain erupted in his chest. He woke up with a man by his side. Ho Yinsen. He helped him, healed him and as they created his Mark I suit, words came out of his mouth without thinking.

“You got a family?”

He cringed. Why would he choose to ask this question?

“Yes, and I’ll see them when I leave here, and you?”

“No”, Tony replied simply. Memories of Mammina and a cherub Cameron troubling his thought. Had that been real? Had he died and saw them? He analyzed the gauntlet in his hand. Would that even work? He emerged in time to hear Yinsen’s reply.

“So, you’re a man who has everything…and nothing.”

No, it wasn’t true. He wanted to go back in time and tell him that yes, he had a family. People who appreciated him, even though he hadn’t seen them in months, maybe years. Shame rolled onto him. After “seeing” his parents, he couldn’t pretend being right. If they had asked him about his brothers and sister what could he have replied? “I spent most my 20’s doing sex and drugs and didn’t call nor reach out to them. The fleeting hope that he could go back to them at any time had passed through his mind many times. He had considered driving to them, but then stopped, sitting in the car, keys in his hand.

Shame did that. Fear of rejection. A bundle of insecurities. After mammina’s death, he had wanted to make the world a better place for them. And here he was…

He stared at Yinsen for a few minutes and smiled. For the first time, he was sure of one thing. He’ll do everything to make the future better.

Fin.