Interlude
Darcy helped Olivia into her dress, before pulling her hair into a high ponytail. "Mommy and Baby Max are coming home today, baby! Are you excited?!"
"He not stay at da hosipal," the toddler asked and stuck a finger in her mouth.
Darcy laughed and shook her head, "you don't want that, do you?"
"Yes," Olivia nodded seriously.
Darcy stared at the toddler in confusion. She'd done well meeting the baby, but she had also had to spend the last three days here with the family, since Grandma Luci stayed with Jane, Bucky, and the baby in the hospital. "Why baby," she asked as she pulled Olivia into her lap.
"A'cause he take my mommy." Darcy though Olivia's pout would have been adorable if her accusation wasn't so serious.
"Max will never, ever take your mommy. He will share your mommy though. Remember," she tapped her nose. "Sharing is good."
"Not my toys," she wrinkled her nose.
"Yes your toys," Darcy laughed.
"Not my clothes," she shook her head.
"Well no,"
"Or my shoes," the toddler interjected.
"Are you sure you aren't my daughter," Darcy laughed and kissed her forehead as she sat her on the floor. "Now go find Uncle Steve. He made breakfast."
"Yaaay," she exclaimed and ran out as Darcy made her bed. Olivia had shared her bed with her the last three nights, and she had to admit, that she missed having a toddler kick her on all sides in the middle of the night. "She could be my daughter," she laughed as she threw a decorative pillow on the bed and straightened the comforter one last time. She turned around and found Steve leaning against the door smiling at her.
"Your daughter, huh," his lazy smile made her heart flutter. "I can't give you Olivia. Bucky and Jane would kill me. But maybe sometime down the road it can be arranged." He winked at her, pushed himself off the door, and walked toward her. Darcy plopped down on the bed with a sigh.
"They're going to have a handful with that one," Darcy said, as Steve sat down next to her. She reached for his hand and held it in her lap.
"Olivia," he asked.
"Yeah," she said. "She's a little jealous. Asked why the baby wasn't staying at the hospital."
"She's developed such a personality in a short time," he mused.
"They always do at that age. Sofi went from sweet to little diva in the span of a month."
"That fast huh," Steve asked.
Darcy nodded. A few months ago she was done having kids forever. Three was enough. But then Olivia entered the picture, and Steve. And slowly but surely the idea entered her heart and stuck in her head and it wasn't leaving anytime soon. Jane and Bucky's tragedy not withstanding. Though she and Steve had only been going out for three days, and hadn't even slept together, again, yet. Everyone's thoughts were around Jane and Bucky and baby Briella who hadn't even taken a breath.
Jane was doing about as well as expected. She was getting use to taking care of a tinier human. And Bucky, as always, was there by her side. Steve wouldn't say anything out loud, but he was deeply concerned about his best friend.
Darcy laid her head on Steve's shoulder and sighed. "You always want to try and say the right thing," she shook her head. "But losing your child? Is there a right thing to even say besides, "I'm so damn sorry.""
"I know," Steve said. "There are no words."
"There's a reason why there isn't a word to call a parent who lost a child."
"I never thought of that," Steve replied.
"Yeah, well," Darcy inhaled.
They both looked at the door when Olivia appeared, hands on her hips. "Uh, I hungwy." She turned around and ran off.
"You know," Darcy laughed as she got up. "Until she spent these last three days with me, I thought she was just the sweetest little doll. But now, I see her true colors."
Steve laughed as well and looked at her seriously. "Yeah you are right, she could be your daughter." He laughed as she threw a pillow at him as he ran out the door.
"Uh, hewwo," Olivia called from the dining room.
Darcy laughed. Yeah, the attitude was strong in that little one.
Jane sighed as she melted into her couch. The soreness she hadn't felt for three days because of the numbness in her heart was there now. She watched as Bucky carefully laid their son in his bassinet by the end of the couch, taking care to make sure he was swaddled properly. Having Olivia had proved that he was a great father. Having Max just expounded on that. They'd had a hell of a few days. Saying goodbye to Briella, but then Max being there. The fact that the joy they felt at Max's safe arrival may have been overshadowed by grieving for Briella, caused them even more guilt. And then Olivia, precious Olivia not understanding why she couldn't be with them.
"He's out," Bucky said quietly as he sat next to her. "Are you ok?"
"I should ask you the same question," she smiled up at him.
"I'm not," he admitted.
"Me either," she sighed.
"But I feel guilty about that," he said.
"Me too."
"Like Max is being overshadowed by Briella?"
"Yeah, that," Jane sighed.
"We're great parents, sweetheart," Bucky said. "I don't think anyone will blame us if we're not at our best right now."
Tears welled in her eyes as she buried her face in his neck. "I didn't want them. At the beginning. Remember? And then with every milestone we hit, I wanted them more. And I was so happy when you brought Olivia home, and I was looking forward to them even more. Giving her a family. Making us all a family."
"Baby, it was not your fault."
"I know," she sighed. "But. I just feel so guilty for those brief moments of not wanting wanting them."
"There was never any doubt in my mind that you wouldn't make a great mom," Bucky said, and caressed her hair. "And there was never any question, when I brought Olivia home, that you wouldn't fall in love with her."
"She should be here soon," Jane sniffed. "Darcy texted that she was getting her dressed for the day an hour ago."
"Good," Bucky kissed her cheek and stood. "Are you hungry? Your mom brought food for us."
"Not right now, baby," Jane propped a pillow and laid down against it.
They heard the door open and footsteps running through the entry way. "I home," Olivia exclaimed, her hands up and she jumped up and down in the middle of the room. "Miss me?"
Bucky chuckled and lifted their little girl into his arms. "We missed you so much," he kissed her cheek.
The toddler looked over at Jane and then back to Bucky. "Mama otay?"
Bucky sat her down. "Why don't you go see mommy?"
Olivia ran to Jane and threw her arms around her neck. "Hi mama."
Jane still couldn't lift because of the cesarean, but she did lean over to wrap her arms around her. "Hi baby. I missed you so much."
"Max stay at the hosipal?"
Darcy laughed as she sat Olivia's bag down. "Yeah. I didn't get to tell you guys. Someone is a little bit jealous."
Bucky stared at Darcy then looked at his daughter. "No baby. Max is asleep over in his bed."
"Why," she asked.
"Because he's a baby and he needs sleep," Jane laughed.
"He going back?"
"Back where," Bucky asked.
"Mama tummy," Olivia pointed at Jane and stared at her father.
"No honey, he's staying here with us."
Jane watched as Olivia considered that for a moment, then turned to Darcy and said, "He not sharing my shoes."
Jane looked at Darcy confused as she sat down. "Put it this way, Jane. That child could be mine. You didn't tell me she was developing such a personality."
Jane stared at Olivia. "A few days ago she was so excited to meet him."
"A few days ago, she didn't have to stay with Aunt Darcy overnight, away from her home and toys."
"You could have stayed here," Jane said.
"And left my own children to their own devices. No thank you," Darcy laughed as they watched Olivia peak over the side of Max's bassinet. "She'll get use to him. In the meantime, don't return any packages or anything like that around her. Mason tried to send Sofi back with the mailman. Put a stamp on her and everything."
"Really," Bucky asked laughing.
"Really," Darcy grinned. "When the mailman wouldn't take her, he asked how many stamps until it took him to take her."
"Oh goodness," Jane grinned. "I never heard that one. Though I recall Bella asking if you could take Mason back to the store."
"Yeah she was always a little shopper," Darcy said. "Speaking of, I may or may not have ordered your kids a couple of outfits for family pictures. Though now, I may have to Max's back, because it matches Via's and I can't imagine what she'll say if they match. Oh this age is so fun. You're going to love it."
Bucky looked at Darcy pale. "Wh- What?" They all looked over at Olivia who was talking to Max.
"Hi baby," she was standing on her tip toes, peering into the bed. "Mama and dada not sending you back, yet." She giggled and ran to her room.
"Yeah," Darcy said. "That one is going to be trouble."
Steve looked up as Bucky slid down beside him, sitting Olivia down beside him. They'd agreed to meet for lunch, and Jane and Max were sleeping. "So my daughter is actively trying to send her brother back, and I blame your girlfriend."
"What does Darcy have to do anything with it," Steve laughed.
"Because," Bucky huffed and moved some water close to the toddler. "Darcy taught her about online shopping and returning items you don't want."
"So," Steve grinned.
"So," Bucky glared at him. "She's been asking to send Max back for a different pair of shoes. Three days with your girlfriend and she's corrupted her."
"Hey she's your girl's cousin."
"That's not the point," Bucky said. "And when I said no, she asked if we could talk about it."
Steve laughed hard as he sat his glass of water down. "So she has Darcy's attitude, for sure."
"She didn't get the shopping thing from Jane, either."
"Um hello, I hungwy," Olivia held her hands out.
Bucky stared at his daughter as if she'd developed antlers and Steve flagged down the waitress.
The late night dinner after the kids had gone to bed had been Darcy's idea. It'd been a big day, and she'd been feeling a connection with Steve lately that was deepening.
"So Bucky blames you for Olivia trying to send Max back," Steve grinned at her and Darcy laughed.
"Oh I know," she said. "He's sent me multiple text messages about it. And I say to that, you reap what you sow."
"Well she definitely didn't get it from Jane," Steve shot a look at Darcy.
"Why are you looking at me like that," Darcy laughed. "Yeah you should look at me. But Jane isn't as innocent as she seems. She was full of mischief when she was younger."
"And Bucky was as well," Steve laughed. "Poor Max doesn't stand a chance."
Darcy took a sip of her wine and sat back. "We haven't had really any time to talk about us."
"Well we've been busy. The good busy."
"Not the fake distraction kind of busy, so I guess you're right," Darcy smiled. "That's new for me."
"Me too," Steve grinned. "No phony missions for me."
"Or fake parent meetings for me," Darcy said. "Wow. I must be growing up."
"Who said we were raising kids," Steve said. "Maybe the kids are raising us."
"Well I know Olivia is, for sure. That kid," Darcy shook her head.
"Sofia too," Steve interjected. "Her too."
"Yeah, they could be twins," Darcy put a hand over her mouth. "Oh." She shook her head and teared up.
Steve moved from his chair to her side and quietly enfolded her in his arms. "It's ok."
"How is it ever going to be ok," she sobbed into his shoulder. "Our dearest friends lost their child. And there is nothing we can say or do to make it all go away or make it better for them. It wasn't supposed to be like this."
"No," Steve wiped a tear from her cheek. "No it wasn't. And life isn't fair. Briella should be here with her brother and sister. Jane shouldn't have had to endure that pain. But Jane and Bucky are strong, and right now they are enduring something unfathomable. It's up to us to be there for them."
"And for each other," she hiccupped.
He nodded and wiped another tear. "I'll always be here for you."
Darcy could only nod and hold onto him as she fought for air to breathe.
She just needed to breathe.