Breathe
Darcy leaned back from her desk and rolled her shoulders while glancing in the direction she last saw Jane. Since she started working for Jane a few weeks ago, she quickly realized that 'working for Jane,' was literally making sure she was fed, making sure she quit working on time, and bringing her lunch.
She'd be offended, but it definitely freed her up for her kids. They'd started school. Bella was starting Advance Placement tests to see if she could test into high school. She was enjoying New York beyond belief. Darcy knew she would, even if it pissed Nick off.
Nick's berating texts came twice a day, though he still talked to Sofia, Bella never answered her phone and when Mason did it was always a "hi," and a "bye," and "I'm busy,dad. I'll call you later."
He never did.
Mason was enjoying his classes and was actually good friends with Clint and Laura's eldest son, Cooper. The two were involved in football right now which took up most if his evenings, along with homework, but Mason was quite literally another kid. And she most likely had Steve and Bucky to thank for that.
He thrived in their presence, whether it was at the batting cages, or at Sofi's mini soccer games. Darcy would never say that Nick was a bad father, it wouldn't be fair to her children. But Steve and Bucky were next level pseudo fathers, even when they didn't have to be.
Sofia was thriving in the tower. She was in preschool part-time and in the afternoons she'd come to Jane's lab and play with the telescopes with Morgan Stark. Morgan was absolutely adorable with her inquisitive nature, and more than once they'd snuck Steve's shield from his apartment and had Bucky use rope and pull them down the halls. The sound of little girl squeals and giggles, and The Winter Soldier laughing along with them was becoming a regular event for the shocked scientists on this floor.
Darcy looked at Jane and sighed.
She was probably about twelve weeks along now and was definitely starting to show, but she still hid the bump with clothes. And still, no one knew that she was pregnant except her, and everytime Darcy tried to bring it up Jane would quickly change the subject. Bucky was being pretty quiet about it too. When she'd ask him he'd get a far-away look in his eyes and look at Jane and smile.
No question the two adored each other, but they were keeping the status of their relationship and their pregnancy close to their hearts. Darcy would understand, but this was her cousin's first child and she was beyond excited!
"Jane," she asked, and she turned off her computer. Jane had her hair up in a ponytail and swapped her contacts for glasses today. She hadn't been feeling well and was actually late arriving to the lab, which never happened.
The scientist looked up from her data and stared at her, or past her, Darcy wasn't sure. "Jane are you ok?"
"What? Yeah. I'm fine," Jane shrugged off her flannel shirt and Darcy dropped her eyes to her abdomen. There was definitely a bump there underneath her shirt. Jane blushed and Darcy's face broke into a smile.
"Jane, you look so good," she squealed.
"No I don't," Jane huffed. "I look terrible and I feel fat."
"You are anything but fat, honey. This is natural. You look great! Show it off!"
Jane glared at her then looked back to her data biting her lip.
"Have you told your mom yet so you can tell the others," Darcy asked already knowing the answer. If Aunt Luci knew, she'd already be here planning the wedding.
Jane snorted and looked up again. "Told my mom? That her unmarried, thirty-five year old, scientist daughter, who left Texas for the big city full of sin, drugs, and prostitutes, that she was so scared of rubbing off on me, is living with a man she loves but isnt sure what they are together, and is having not one baby, but two? Yeah." Jane smirked. "Let me get right on that."
Darcy's jaw dropped. "Twins? You're having twins," the smile spread across her face and Jane sighed and rolled her eyes and nodded. "TWINS," Darcy squealed and raced across the room, enveloping Jane in her arms. "Oh Jane! I'm so happy for you guys!"
"I'm not," Jane sighed. "I didn't eve know what to do with one baby, what am I going to do with two?"
"The same thing you do with all of my kids," Darcy began, stroking her hair and leading her across the room and to the sofa, sitting her down and then sitting beside her. "You'll love them, and care for them, and cook for them. And get them to their appointments and games. Help them with homework. Hold them when their sick. Jane, you're going to be a fantastic mom. And I know that because you already are to my kids."
Jane wiped at her eyes and looked at her. "I'm so scared, Darcy."
"I was too," Darcy nodded. "Motherhood is the most terrifying, spectacular, horrible experience you will ever have. And don't forget you have Bucky, and look how he is with the kids. He's fucking amazing with them."
Jane laughed and nodded. "I didn't think of it that way. He's already amazing. He rubs my feet and fills my bath and cooks for me."
"I'm officially jealous. I had a husband for years who never did any of that," Darcy teased, but deep in her heart it hurt.
Bucky and Jane weren't even married, and apparently not even close, and here Bucky was doing all these things to make Jane comfortable for the simple fact that she was carrying his children. She felt a twinge of jealously but quickly brushed it back.
Jane was watching her, "you ok," she asked, clearly concerned.
"See," Darcy hugged her. "You'll be a great mom."
Jane nodded and leaned back against the sofa, her hands over her abdomen and she continued to look at her with concern. "What's going on with you and Steve?"
Darcy knew the question would come eventually, as intuitive as Jane was, but she still blushed. "I don't know. We're friends. That's it."
"Good friends," Jane grinned.
"Fine," this time it was Darcy who huffed and leaned back. "Good friends. But I don't know if I want it to go beyond that."
"Why," Jane implored, gently rubbing her abdomen.
"Because, with everything I've been through with Nick. I can't be the girl that Steve wants or needs."
"Maybe you should let Steve decide what he wants and needs."
"Maybe you should tell your mother that you're pregnant," Darcy retorted.
Jane laughed, "Touché. But still Darcy. How do you know if you don't try."
"I just," she began. "I know he deserves it all. Marriage, and children. I was already married and I don't want to do that again. And I already have children and I don't want any more."
"I get that," Jane moved so she was facing her. "But I still think you should let him decide. I mean, look at Bucky. I started sleeping with him because he was sweet and hot. I kept him at arms length because I figured he'd want the whole white picket fence thing, because that's what they did back then. But he's having twins with me, out of wedlock, and I can't even say that he's my boyfriend."
"Do you want him to be your boyfriend."
"Boyfriend is a terrible word for how I feel about him. Don was a boyfriend. James is-," she paused and shrugged. "He's James."
"And you absolutely love him, are head over heels for him, but don't want to get married."
"I want to get married, eventually. Just not now. There are two many emotions involved because it's natural and we're pregnant. I don't want to get married just because we're pregnant."
Darcy nodded," I totally understand that. Take your time and the rest will follow. I truly believe that."
Jane nodded and looked to the door as Morgan walked in. "Ok Aunt Jane, I'm ready to work now!"
"You are," Jane exclaimed and stood up while shrugging her shirt on again. "And where is Sofi?"
"Oh, Steve took her to practice soccer. I'd much rather learn about the stars," she said matter-of-factly, while the adults in the room looked at each other and smiled.
"As long as your daddy knows you're here," Jane said.
"He does," she nodded. "He says, 'Go help Aunt Jane with her star research and leave daddy's suits alone.'" She grinned and they laughed.
"Ok," Jane wiped her hands along her shirt. "Go find your telescope and let's get to work." She smiled at Darcy and went back to her computer.
Darcy smiled. Jane was going to be a fantastic mother.
Darcy set a plate of tortillas on the table in front of her children.
"What are we having mom," Mason asked while not even looking up from his phone.
"Ropa vieja," she smiled. "And put your phone away at the table." She turned and called for the girls. "Bella, Sofia. Time for dinner."
Sofia skipped in, her long brown hair flying behind her. She was bigger than she was even a month ago. Deep down it tugged on her heart. Jane's babies had a while to go before they were going to be Sofia's age, only she was sure that Jane and Bucky would have more. She watched as she climbed into her still too tall chair and rubbed her belly.
"It smell good, mommy."
"Are you hungry?"
"Mmhmm... Steve practiced soccer with me."
Her heart jumped a little a three mention if his name. Of all the people she'd met since she moved here. None have become as dear to her as Steve Rogers had. He worked his way into her heart so quickly that it terrified her.
She wanted to know, before or if she got involved with anyone, that'd she'd be ok on her own. She spent the last fifteen years so dependent on Nick that when the divorce came she had no idea what to do. She couldn't, in all actuality, even put together a resume, should she not want to work in the tower and that scared her. Because if she learned anything this past year, it was that nobody would take care of her kids but her. Nick may be a thousand miles away right now, but even when he was only five miles away, it might as well have been a thousand.
She looked at the empty chair that Steve more often than not sat in during supper. He usually ate with them, but not tonight. He, Sam, and Bucky had a guys night planned. He had asked her to save some food for him though.
He definitely liked her cooking.
Bella walked in and Darcy studied her eldest. She was losing her baby fat and becoming a teenager. Her hair was getting longer and darker, and she looked a lot like her grandmother at that age. Darcy smiled. All her kids took on some of her sides' latino looks, and all of her kids seemed proud of it.
They were bilingual. And they loved the holidays, food, and traditions. That was definitely something they'd pass on to their new cousins.
She was kind of glad Steve wasn't there tonight. Jane had given her permission to tell the children that she was pregnant.
Bucky had come to the lab for the last hour of work, and they'd spent the whole time talking while she was working equations that made Darcy dizzy enough to wonder how the woman could multitask like that. She'd given Bucky a hug and welcomed him to their family, and the smile on his face lit up the room and made her melt.
Jane and Bucky were going to call her mother tonight.
He'd told her when Jane was turning off all the equipment, that he had been trying to get her to see it for weeks that she was amazing and she'd be an amazing mother. He was so proud when he talked about her changing body and her not being able to hide it anymore.
Sofi was looking up at her. "Is Steve coming to supper too, mommy?"
"Not tonight, bean," she ruffled her hair and found her seat beside her. "But that's ok, because we need to talk."
Bella looked up in excitement. "You're getting married!"
"Yeah," Mason exclaimed.
"Really," Sofi bounced on her knees in her chair.
"What? No! No. I'm not getting married," Darcy said and her kids looked disappointed. Were all of her kids secretly hoping for a union between the two of them? "No this is about Aunt Jane and Uncle Bucky."
"Is Aunt Jane ok," Bella asked worriedly, chewing her lip.
"What's wrong," Mason asked.
"I love him," Sofi sighed dreamily.
Darcy laughed. "Nothing is wrong." She looked at her youngest. "And you need to stop watching so many princess movies."
Sofi giggled and spooned some rice into her mouth.
Darcy continued. "Aunt Jane and Uncle Bucky are pregnant," Bella gasped excitedly. "With twins actually. So there will be two babies."
Bella squealed and clapped her hands. "Babies? Oh my gosh! I'm so excited! Oh this is so cool!"
Mason was a little more subdued, "does that mean he can't help me with baseball?"
"Well," Darcy began carefully. "It means he'll be a little busier, but I'm sure he'll always have time for you. He loves you guys."
"Are the babies going to be like my dollies," Sofi asked. "And where they at?"
"They're in Aunt Jane's belly," Bella told her sister while grabbing a tortilla.
Sofia looked at her confused. "How did they get there?"
"Ok. That's a question that I'm sure your daddy would love to answer the next time you talk to him," Darcy spooned some meat into her own plate. "I wanted you guys to know because there are going to be some things Aunt Jane just won't be able to do in the coming months."
"Can she go to my football games," Mason asked.
"I'm sure she will try as best she can, but we need to understand what she's going through. She's going to be tired, and cranky, and her belly is going to get bigger and she'll be uncomfortable with it. We just need to make sure that we love her through it, because it's not easy."
Bella nodded. "I remember from you and Sofi."
"Oh I think I do too," Mason said. "You got really sick, huh mom?"
"I did," Darcy nodded and smiled at Sofi who looked confused and her eyes watered a little.
"Mommy, I make you sick?"
"When you were in my tummy, yes. But not now, sweetheart. "
Seemingly ok with that answer, Sofia returned to her food.
"Is Aunt Jane getting married," Bella asked.
"Not right now, at least."
"I bet Aunt Luci isn't going to like that, huh mom?" Mason grinned at her from across the table.
Darcy smiled and sent a prayer skyward for her cousin. She was going to need all the help she could get.
Bucky walked in and laid his jacket over the back of the couch before walking across the room and placing a soft kiss onto the back of Jane's head. He'd had a great guy's night, but he had missed her.
Two weeks ago when her tiny bump started showing, they'd decide their pregnancy was moving on with or without them, so they decided to just cut all pretenses and move in together. His apartment was bigger and had a better view so they decided to let hers go and move her into his. There were still boxes and boxes of things they had to do through, but they'd been so busy they hadn't really had the time.
Jane telling him today that she was ready to reveal that she was pregnant put him in a different mood. He'd woken up this morning and she was already gone, and normally he wouldn't think a thing of it, but it'd been eight days since the last time she was well enough to have sex. He wasn't horny, he'd gone without it for years. Now he just had an amazingly, beautiful girl, who did things to him. She was a drug that you wanted to just keep hitting.
And he was smart enough to know, that after the babies came, their sex life would be vastly different.
"Did you call her already, baby," he asked. "I wanted you to wait for me. I wanted to be there."
"No," she shook her head. "I couldn't do it."
"Well we have to, sweetheart." He stroked her hair as she leaned back into him. He wrapped his arms around her and rocked with her slowly. They were able to see the sun setting on the New York skyline. "She's going to be a grandma. She deserves to know. I already called my sister in Indiana."
"You did," she asked in shock.
"Yeah. I called her at the nursing home."
She nodded and stared out the window again. "I just wish there was another way to tell her. Like with a card or flowers. Or I know! The babies will tell her!"
He laughed. "It doesn't work that way, darling," he said and kissed her lips when she pouted up at him. "I love you."
"I know," she nodded and smiled. "Me too." Jane inhaled deeply then let the breath go. "Ok. I need to do this. What is she going to do? She lives thousands of miles away, right?" The more she tried to convince herself the colder her feet became. "Ok. I can do this."
Bucky squeezed her arms in support as she found her mother's number in her cell phone's address book and hit the call button. As long as he knew Jane, he had found all the things that made her tick. Global warming, human trafficking, dogs getting shot and killed.
But nothing riled his girl up like her mother.
And while he never had met the woman, he had seen pictures. She was a beautiful woman, brown hair, Jane's eyes, and Catholic to a boot. In videos on Jane's social media page, she could constantly be seen worrying her rosary.
He'd been a Catholic growing up. His ma was the same way. But there was something to be said about Jane's mom yell-speaking to her in Spanish. His ma had a strict set a values that seemed to vanish when he joined the military. Jane's mom, was an immigrant who worked hard for her family, married a British man, and settled in America.
Never mind the prejudice and consequences of growing up brown in the sixties and seventies in a southern U.S. state. Bucky himself believed in equality for all, even back the in the forties. But not everyone believed in that, even today. And Jane's mom lived by a system. Don't give them anything to tear you down about. Keep your cards close to your vest. Smile at your enemies, and never let them see you flinch.
When Darcy had announced she was filing for divorce, Jane's mom had called her for hours and cried.
Darcy had told him last week that since her ex-fiance Don, Jane had never introduced another boyfriend to her family. The fallout from a failed engagement was enough to leave Jane cold. She was the source if family gossip for months, and while it never went outside the family, hearing that there is something wrong with you from the ones who love you most, is no picnic in the park.
And Bucky could attest, there was absolutely nothing wrong with his girl.
Steve, for months, had told him that he could do better. That he deserved better. Bucky always shook it off. Steve was a best friend, concerned with his wellbeing. He didn't know Jane though.
Once, when Thor was visiting, he had pulled him aside. After giving him the shovel talk, he had said something that Bucky still remembered to this day. "Don't push her. You'll live to regret it. And love her like you know that there will always be someone better than you waiting to sweep her off her feet."
Thor was never one to mince words, and never let anyone forget that Jane was his one that got away.
Jane could have had a palace. Could have been a princess. Could have lived among her stars.
Bucky, after that conversation, was convinced to never let her go, no matter how hard she pushed.
And she did push.
His girl was difficult, strong-willed, beautiful, generous. And didn't want to put a label on their relationship as much as he pushed for it. Because labeling any of her relationships in the past, that had meant something to her, had only led to heartbreak. And Bucky understood.
And Bucky too, the further they got into this thing they had between them, was having and extremely difficult time finding a label to describe what Jane meant to him.
Girlfriend, didn't fit. Significant other, wasn't right either. His girl, was so old-fashioned that she laughed. Most of the time he would just call her 'My Jane," it was the only term that seemed to fit.
He had watched the past few weeks in fascination, as her body changed to adapt to the two children who currently resided inside her as the developed into human beings. Jane was tiny, but not so fragile, and had adapted well, except for the extra weight that was wrecking havoc on her feet and legs. Everytime he looked at her, he had a sense of pride. He had a piece of her that none of her exes got, and that brought out his possessive side.
And Jane, as modern as she was, loved his possessive side, and wasn't afraid to use it if someone got too close or looked at her funny or just pissed her the hell off.
But her mom was different. Jane was the only child, they couldn't have anymore. And therefore became priority number one in her mother's life and remained that way, even after she had left home. Darcy was lucky enough to have a brother and a sister, though they were much younger than her, which is why she and Jane were so close.
Bucky was fascinated by their family dynamics even before the Lewis's moved in.
Jane was Darcy's cousin, but yet she was the children's aunt. Darcy would be their own children's aunt. They were just that close. Jane parented the children as much as Darcy did. And Darcy allowed he and Steve in as well, especially with Mason.
He and Steve had talked for hours about it. Steve was becoming more attached to the woman, but was getting nowhere, and while Bucky would love to enjoy in his pursuits and failures, simply because since the serum, Steve never failed at anything, he couldn't bring himself to. Steve had not been this besotted over a dame since Peggy Carter, during the war.
Bucky looked around as Jane worried her lip waiting for her mom to answer, and he gave her another reassuring squeeze. Man he loved this woman! There is nothing he wouldn't do for her. He kissed her head again as she answered and put the phone on speaker
"Mami," Jane breathed. "It's me."
Steve made his way to Darcy's apartment, whistling quietly. His excuse for going so late was to pick up his shield, that he knew Sofi took, again. What if they got called in the middle of the night? But really he knew the truth.
He hadn't seen her at all today.
He'd just get the shield, tell the kids goodnight if they were still up, and tell her goodnight. That was it.
She opened the door about ten seconds after his knock and all thoughts flew from his mind.
She was beautiful. And clearly doing the dishes, if the apron around her waist and the dish gloves said anything about the matter.
"Hey Steve," she said, her blue eyes sparkling with mirth and magic, that he knew she possessed, because every single time she looked at him like that, he forgot how to breathe. "Are you hungry? I saved some food."
Did he mention that she was an absolute fucking angel?
"Always," he grinned and stepped inside. Looking around, the kids were clearly asleep, probably because they had school the next day. He asked anyway. "Kids asleep?"
Darcy grinned and started playing him up some food. Damn she was a good cook. "They are. Too much excitement for one day. Thank you, by the way, for taking Sofi to soccer practice."
"It's not a problem," he said as he sat down at the table, stretching his long legs in front of him. "I don't know much about soccer, but she is getting better and better, and it's fun to watch her confidence grow."
"Like Mason," she grinned.
"Just like Mason," he smiled back and moaned as he took his first bite if food. "God you're a good cook."
She laughed, and sat down across from him. "Thank you. One of the many talents passed down from my mom, and having children who are picky eaters. Though I firmly believe that Jane is a better cook than me."
"Never ate her cooking. So that doesn't convince me."
She raised a brow and directed a stare at him. "Have you ever asked?"
"No."
"Then there you go."
She flipped her hair to the side and started to play with it, and Steve had to remind himself on how to eat. Fork. Food. Fork. Mouth. I guess you're right. Jane and I aren't really that close.
"Well that's a shock, since she's extremely close to Bucky."
"Is she though," he asked. "I've always been worried that it wouldn't go anywhere. She's pretty secretive about it."
Darcy narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips and blew out a breath. For a second he thought he offended her somehow, but then she smiled. "I'll tell you something about Jane, but the rest you will have to learn from her. She used to be open and carefree with the people she loved most. It backfired on her spectacularly, I mean, look at Thor. She prefers to keep the people she loves most close to her heart. The fact that the media doesn't know about her and Bucky yet is because of that and some truly terrifying NDAs. It's also reflective of how much she absolutely adores that man."
He never thought about it that way. Jane was a target for paparazzi and enemies when she dated Thor. And of course he never would think to ask Bucky because Bucky was always beaming from head to toe when he brought her up regardless. Hearing it from someone who knew Jane personally, and quite literally moved across the country for her, was the icing on the cake. He nodded. "I guess I never thought of it that way."
She smiled. "I envy her."
"Why's that," he asked.
"Because she's free to fall in love and have a family with the man she loves."
"And you aren't," he asked as his heart sank into his stomach.
"I already made my decision. What right do I have to do that again?"
Jane took a deep breath. "Mami. It's me."
"Mija, I was going to call you tomorrow. "
"I know mami, but this couldn't wait. James is here with me."
"Aw James. I saw him on the Google. He saved a child at the mall," she said.
"Yeah," Jane sniffed and she smiled up at him. She was always so proud of him for being a hero even after the years of torture he had been through. And she never forgot to let him know.
"Mami," Jane began again. "Mami, we live together now. And I'm pregnant. With twins."
The line went silent.
"Mami?" She looked up at him and bit her lip. "Mami are you there?"
"Are you happy, Mija," she asked.
"Yeah mami. I am."
"Are you healthy," the the voice on the phone asked with more conviction.
"Yeah," Jane.
"Does he love you," she asked.
"He does, mami."
"Do you love him?"
"Yeah mami, I do."
The voice went quiet and she could here some sniffs. "Mami, I'm sorry. We didn't mean for this to happen."
"Mija," her mom interjected. "Mija, I know I am the old-fashioned. But all I want is for your happiness. That's all your Papi and I have ever wanted."
"I am happy, mami," She squeezed James' hand. "We both are." He nodded his agreement.
"Do you need me?"
"No mami, not right now."
And then...her mom broke into laughter. "Aye Mija. I am so happy for you. For me! Twins? Two babies. Aye Dios. I'm going to be an abuelita. Oh my angel. And James. He's a hero. Much better than that Nick, el diablo. Mira. I still expect you at the reunion, and him too. Mija, wait until I tell your tía that my son-in-law is better than hers,-"
"No mami, we're not getting married."
"I don't care. He's still better." Jane looked at Bucky in shock and he grinned and puffed out his chest a little. "An abuelita, I can't believe it. Mija I got to go tell everyone. Te adoro."
"I love you too, mami." She released the call and he pulled her into his arms. "That was not what I expected. "
He cradled her head against his chest, a weight felt like it had been lifted off of the room entirely.
Now she could finally breathe.